Right well that's me back. I've not been on here for ages. Haven't glanced at another Blog for long enough either. There's a few reasons for this. One is that I seem to spend half my life on Bebo or JKB or EBay or bloody Facebook now (cheers Ross).
I will need to pay more attention to this here Blog...if only I can find space in my hectic schedule!
Jenny xx
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Saturday, September 22, 2007
What The ...?
With Christmas only 94 days away it'll soon be time to start thinking about what gifts to get your loved ones. Well here's the ideal gift for the special female in your life...the SheWee.
Shewee Ladies Wee Funnel
Shewee, when positioned securely under the crotch, and with underwear pushed to the side, the Shewee ladies wee funnel directs urine away from the body to a suitable place, such as a toilet, a container or a conveniently located tree!
All women will benefit from using Shewee ladies wee funnel at some time. Comes complete with a hygenic carrying pouch.
Oh.My.God.
Jenny xx
Shewee Ladies Wee Funnel
Shewee, when positioned securely under the crotch, and with underwear pushed to the side, the Shewee ladies wee funnel directs urine away from the body to a suitable place, such as a toilet, a container or a conveniently located tree!
No more crossed legs or uncomfortable squatting.
Maintain your privacy and banish bare bottoms!
Stand up at public toilets to avoid unhygienic seats and smelly portable loos.
Hike/climb/ski/jog off the beaten track, miles from the nearest toilet.
Travel the world with the comfort of home in your pocket.
All women will benefit from using Shewee ladies wee funnel at some time. Comes complete with a hygenic carrying pouch.
Oh.My.God.
Jenny xx
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Em...I'm Not German...
How comes when I publish a post it tells me it has been published sucessfully in German?
Jenny xx
Jenny xx
Sick, Sick, Sick...
Right then I reckon I have the plague or at least some other horrible lurgy.
For the last fortnight I have been feeling rotten. Just a wee bug I thought when it kicked off exactly two weeks ago today but now? Well now I reckon I have some hideous superbug which is systematically detroying me!
It all began innocently enough. Achy bones and the mother of all headaches which lasted for 48 hours before easing of to the daughter of all headaches. By the Friday of that week the headache and achyness were accompanied by a temperature which was up and down more than a whores knickers. By the following Monday I felt knackered and had developed a sore throat. On the Tuesday I awoke to that nice runny nose that comes with a cold. By Wednesday I was into nostrils permanently blocked territory and needing to breath through my mouth due a lack of oxygen making it up my nasal passages! This wee phase lasted through to Friday when the runny nose had returned and was trying to choke me by sitting in my throat and attempting to drown me!
Saturday arrived and brought with it more snot and gunk and a headache...probably caused by me constantly blowing my nose in a bid to breath! By Sunday the gunk was there but was now accompanied by a dry throat which led to a nippy, irritating cough which wanted to appear every time I breathed to deeply or spoke and a tightness in my chest which was borderline painful whenever said cough reared it's head. That's how it remained until yesterday when the cough decided to get deeper and gunkier. And all the way through I have been plauged with sneezing and the inability to go more than 5 minutes without blowing my nose! Add to that a rash on my tummy, a throat that feels as thick as Pavarottis waistline and a mysterious red cricle under my arm and I'm kinda convinced I have some random plague type thingy!
I've self-medicated with every sort of over the counter remedy. Asprins, Paracetamol, Headaches tablets, Lemsips, throat lozenges and fresh orange but for some insane reason I seem to be getting sicker instead of better! I've tried to stay active throughout, getting on with stuff and getting fresh air but yesterday I admitted defeat and went to bed at 4pm.
I've also rung in sick to work as there was no way I was gonna make it through a 12 hour shift today (just as well really as I woke up this morning at 5am with a killer sore tummy and pain in my ears!). Anyhow the image of me standing behind my wee glass partition trying to offer advice, sympathy and air of authority to the public as they come in while excusing myself to sneeze, losing my voice and never being more than a minute away from a tissue is less than professional!
I'm gonna cave in again today and stay in bed. Hopefully the warmth and rest will shift this thing once and for all.
Anyhow if it's not shifted in a day or two I'm going to the Doc's as it might just be that an anti-biotic is required. I dunno what it is but I do know it doesn't respond to the usual remedy of retail therapy...I've bought a new american fridge/freezer, a set of new french doors, a new coffee maker, some new outdoor lights and a new car in the last week and none of them have helped!
Jenny xx
For the last fortnight I have been feeling rotten. Just a wee bug I thought when it kicked off exactly two weeks ago today but now? Well now I reckon I have some hideous superbug which is systematically detroying me!
It all began innocently enough. Achy bones and the mother of all headaches which lasted for 48 hours before easing of to the daughter of all headaches. By the Friday of that week the headache and achyness were accompanied by a temperature which was up and down more than a whores knickers. By the following Monday I felt knackered and had developed a sore throat. On the Tuesday I awoke to that nice runny nose that comes with a cold. By Wednesday I was into nostrils permanently blocked territory and needing to breath through my mouth due a lack of oxygen making it up my nasal passages! This wee phase lasted through to Friday when the runny nose had returned and was trying to choke me by sitting in my throat and attempting to drown me!
Saturday arrived and brought with it more snot and gunk and a headache...probably caused by me constantly blowing my nose in a bid to breath! By Sunday the gunk was there but was now accompanied by a dry throat which led to a nippy, irritating cough which wanted to appear every time I breathed to deeply or spoke and a tightness in my chest which was borderline painful whenever said cough reared it's head. That's how it remained until yesterday when the cough decided to get deeper and gunkier. And all the way through I have been plauged with sneezing and the inability to go more than 5 minutes without blowing my nose! Add to that a rash on my tummy, a throat that feels as thick as Pavarottis waistline and a mysterious red cricle under my arm and I'm kinda convinced I have some random plague type thingy!
I've self-medicated with every sort of over the counter remedy. Asprins, Paracetamol, Headaches tablets, Lemsips, throat lozenges and fresh orange but for some insane reason I seem to be getting sicker instead of better! I've tried to stay active throughout, getting on with stuff and getting fresh air but yesterday I admitted defeat and went to bed at 4pm.
I've also rung in sick to work as there was no way I was gonna make it through a 12 hour shift today (just as well really as I woke up this morning at 5am with a killer sore tummy and pain in my ears!). Anyhow the image of me standing behind my wee glass partition trying to offer advice, sympathy and air of authority to the public as they come in while excusing myself to sneeze, losing my voice and never being more than a minute away from a tissue is less than professional!
I'm gonna cave in again today and stay in bed. Hopefully the warmth and rest will shift this thing once and for all.
Anyhow if it's not shifted in a day or two I'm going to the Doc's as it might just be that an anti-biotic is required. I dunno what it is but I do know it doesn't respond to the usual remedy of retail therapy...I've bought a new american fridge/freezer, a set of new french doors, a new coffee maker, some new outdoor lights and a new car in the last week and none of them have helped!
Jenny xx
Saturday, September 15, 2007
A Wee Message To....
The SFA, Walter Smith, The biased media, All the soap doding Hun fans and to that fellow Divemaster Dad who lives in South Africa....;)
GET IT RIGHT UP YOU!!!!!!!!!!
The Famous Heart Of Midlothian 4 - Glasgow Rankgers - 2
Mwahahahahahahaha!!!! Fan-fecking-tastical!!!! 'Mon The Mighty JT's!!!!
That is all.
Jenny xx
GET IT RIGHT UP YOU!!!!!!!!!!
The Famous Heart Of Midlothian 4 - Glasgow Rankgers - 2
Mwahahahahahahaha!!!! Fan-fecking-tastical!!!! 'Mon The Mighty JT's!!!!
That is all.
Jenny xx
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
It's All In The Stars...
I got an email from a mate recently which said (and I quote) "I saw this and thought of you" below it was the title Friend and a picture of 2 little girls and underneath, the following quote "I wouldn't want to piss you off. You are sarcastic, strong willed, loud, aggressive, uncompromising at times, defiant and bossy...but if I had to choose a mate to stand shoulder to shoulder with me in times of pain or advsersity I'd choose you"
It was based on me. As in the me she knows and the person I am. Some may have taken it as an insult. I took it as a compliment. I am all these things and more.
I am sarcastic, strong willed, loud, aggressive, uncompromising, defiant and bossy. I'm also impatient, fiery, rash, extreme, and arrogant, impulsive, intolerant and can be insensitive and forceful.
On the other side I can be assertive, pioneering, enthusiastic, adventurous, humorous, fast-paced, energetic and passionate, sociable, talkative, brave, independent,competitive, eager, straightforward, headstrong, a leader, focused on the present and freedom-loving.
Personally I view none of these as bad characteristics! Anyhow these are the traits my star sign says I have so it's not my fault! I'm an Aries, it's a fire sign, it's numero uno and I have red hair so really I was never going to be some quiet wee wallflower with no attitude!
I make no apologies for being any of the above. All of them can be positives to a person.
I am defiant because I won't just accept things. I'm sarcastic but that can be a gift if used properly! I'm definitely impulsive (see Minneapolis!) and I do tend to live in the day and don't plan for the future too much. I am head strong...ask my Primary one teacher who had a battle on her hands with me because she couldn't keep up with me education wise and lost her class to the smart ass 5 year old who finished all her work first and then proceeded to tell the class to come and listen to a story or play outside! That poor woman had a nervous breakdown mid-way through the term and this smart ass 5 year old got the blame!
I'm also well aware of the fact that I can be intolerant and uncompromising. I have no time for people who are rude, abusive, stupid to the point of danger or ill informed but believe otherwise. I won't waste time arguing with a fool. I will, and I am about to be arrogant, use sarcasm or my brain to prove them idiots and leave it at that. Ask anyone who's ever heard me utter the immortal words "I'm right. I know I'm right and I'll prove it" which I happen so say a hell of a lot...oh and if on the off chance I'm wrong (which by the way is not very often cause I'm usually always right!) I won't apologise for it unless I've deeply offended you or upset you....and even then don't hold you're breath cause I'll have to have time to sulk! Cause I'm petulant as well...a trait not mentioned in my star sign!
I'm not brave though...reckless and over enthusastic to the point of doing daft stuff yes but brave? No. If you've ever seen me when a spider appears then you'd know brave is not a trait I display! That said if you wanna have a go then come ahead...I'll not back away cause I'm a strong-willed, headstrong, aggressive leader!! Lol!
As for being competitive? Well let's just say I want to pee quicker than the woman in the cubicle next to me! I am very, very competitive but not materially or anything like that. I just like to win or to support the winner. I'm a bad loser. That I will admit. The fact I share a house and bed with the world's most competitive man only helps to fuel me on! I gotta beat him at everything! It makes life intresting!
I reckon my mate knows me well. She knows that me being sarcastic, strong willed, loud, aggressive, uncompromising at times, defiant and bossy means I will be right by her side backing her up till her nose bleeds if she needs me.She knows I will make her laugh when I think she needs to and will give it to her straight when she needs to hear it and that I'll happily wade in with a punch on her behalf if ever I need to! It's the way I am with everyone I love. It's also the way I am with the underdog. I'm a sucker for an underdog!
Yes, some would say these traits are bad things. Me? I like them. I'm no angel but who is?;)
But Hey let's remember I have a soft side too...I can be quiet, thoughtful, introverted and spiritual. I cry at X Factor for god's sake. I'm still scarred from Bambi's mother dying and I can't listen to Puff The Magic Dragon or Two Little Boys without welling up...in fact I get emotional when one of bairns loses a baby tooth! Ane these admissions have just taken away any street cred I ever had!
Och well.
Jenny xx
It was based on me. As in the me she knows and the person I am. Some may have taken it as an insult. I took it as a compliment. I am all these things and more.
I am sarcastic, strong willed, loud, aggressive, uncompromising, defiant and bossy. I'm also impatient, fiery, rash, extreme, and arrogant, impulsive, intolerant and can be insensitive and forceful.
On the other side I can be assertive, pioneering, enthusiastic, adventurous, humorous, fast-paced, energetic and passionate, sociable, talkative, brave, independent,competitive, eager, straightforward, headstrong, a leader, focused on the present and freedom-loving.
Personally I view none of these as bad characteristics! Anyhow these are the traits my star sign says I have so it's not my fault! I'm an Aries, it's a fire sign, it's numero uno and I have red hair so really I was never going to be some quiet wee wallflower with no attitude!
I make no apologies for being any of the above. All of them can be positives to a person.
I am defiant because I won't just accept things. I'm sarcastic but that can be a gift if used properly! I'm definitely impulsive (see Minneapolis!) and I do tend to live in the day and don't plan for the future too much. I am head strong...ask my Primary one teacher who had a battle on her hands with me because she couldn't keep up with me education wise and lost her class to the smart ass 5 year old who finished all her work first and then proceeded to tell the class to come and listen to a story or play outside! That poor woman had a nervous breakdown mid-way through the term and this smart ass 5 year old got the blame!
I'm also well aware of the fact that I can be intolerant and uncompromising. I have no time for people who are rude, abusive, stupid to the point of danger or ill informed but believe otherwise. I won't waste time arguing with a fool. I will, and I am about to be arrogant, use sarcasm or my brain to prove them idiots and leave it at that. Ask anyone who's ever heard me utter the immortal words "I'm right. I know I'm right and I'll prove it" which I happen so say a hell of a lot...oh and if on the off chance I'm wrong (which by the way is not very often cause I'm usually always right!) I won't apologise for it unless I've deeply offended you or upset you....and even then don't hold you're breath cause I'll have to have time to sulk! Cause I'm petulant as well...a trait not mentioned in my star sign!
I'm not brave though...reckless and over enthusastic to the point of doing daft stuff yes but brave? No. If you've ever seen me when a spider appears then you'd know brave is not a trait I display! That said if you wanna have a go then come ahead...I'll not back away cause I'm a strong-willed, headstrong, aggressive leader!! Lol!
As for being competitive? Well let's just say I want to pee quicker than the woman in the cubicle next to me! I am very, very competitive but not materially or anything like that. I just like to win or to support the winner. I'm a bad loser. That I will admit. The fact I share a house and bed with the world's most competitive man only helps to fuel me on! I gotta beat him at everything! It makes life intresting!
I reckon my mate knows me well. She knows that me being sarcastic, strong willed, loud, aggressive, uncompromising at times, defiant and bossy means I will be right by her side backing her up till her nose bleeds if she needs me.She knows I will make her laugh when I think she needs to and will give it to her straight when she needs to hear it and that I'll happily wade in with a punch on her behalf if ever I need to! It's the way I am with everyone I love. It's also the way I am with the underdog. I'm a sucker for an underdog!
Yes, some would say these traits are bad things. Me? I like them. I'm no angel but who is?;)
But Hey let's remember I have a soft side too...I can be quiet, thoughtful, introverted and spiritual. I cry at X Factor for god's sake. I'm still scarred from Bambi's mother dying and I can't listen to Puff The Magic Dragon or Two Little Boys without welling up...in fact I get emotional when one of bairns loses a baby tooth! Ane these admissions have just taken away any street cred I ever had!
Och well.
Jenny xx
Caved In Again....
Right so I came home from Florida and vowed I would not cross the Atlantic again until next years summer holiday (I've a feeling it'll be Florida again!). See since April 2004 I have been over the pond 9 times, having been 4 times to Florida, twice to New York and 3 times to Minneapolis. It might be ok if I was a business man going for work or if I was loaded and could jet off at will but I'm neither and given I'm not a fan of long haul flying and I can't really afford any more random trips to the States on a whim I decided to give it a miss till next year. A sort of self-imposed ban if you like!
Then my thoughts turned to Christmas and shopping and then in turn to proper cold weather and outlet malls and from there to cold, crisp days and freezing nights and to hot chocolate and cheap clothes and Macy's and Old Navy and Abercrombie and Fitch and Jimmy Choo and Juicy Couture and Christmas lights and parades and Chicken Fajitas in a downtown restaurant and a wee break from the kids and letting loose with my Mum and Sis and...and...well...I just...booked a wee flight across the Atlantic for December!! Oops!
To be honest it was looking at the pictures of previous trips that did it. Mum, Gill and I always have a laugh when we're there and it's the one time in the year we get to spend quality time just the three of us. Being ourselves instead of Mum, Auntie or Gran. Doing what we like, ripping the piss out each other (and Mum's driving skills), laughing at each others bra sizes (Mum buys them made to measure for a fortune, Gill buys them off the peg from the bigger sizes and I buy them from off the peg from the teenagers range! I'm not as well endowed as my Mother or sibling!)It's just chill out time when we can shop all day and kick back with a few vodka and cranberries over a meal at night. Oh and my Sis and I can con Mum into buying us things for Christmas that she wouldn't normally by appealing that we are her bairns!
So Minneapolis here we come for the fourth year on the trot. Now time to save the pennies to spend....which will mean no new shoes from now until then (well possibly a new pair of trainers!) but given my vast collection I have enough to go from September until December without wearing the same one's twice so I shoud be able to cope!
Course this all says a lot about me (apart from a love of shoes which borders on obsession). It says I am unable to stick to any sort of self imposed ban.
Jenny xx
Then my thoughts turned to Christmas and shopping and then in turn to proper cold weather and outlet malls and from there to cold, crisp days and freezing nights and to hot chocolate and cheap clothes and Macy's and Old Navy and Abercrombie and Fitch and Jimmy Choo and Juicy Couture and Christmas lights and parades and Chicken Fajitas in a downtown restaurant and a wee break from the kids and letting loose with my Mum and Sis and...and...well...I just...booked a wee flight across the Atlantic for December!! Oops!
To be honest it was looking at the pictures of previous trips that did it. Mum, Gill and I always have a laugh when we're there and it's the one time in the year we get to spend quality time just the three of us. Being ourselves instead of Mum, Auntie or Gran. Doing what we like, ripping the piss out each other (and Mum's driving skills), laughing at each others bra sizes (Mum buys them made to measure for a fortune, Gill buys them off the peg from the bigger sizes and I buy them from off the peg from the teenagers range! I'm not as well endowed as my Mother or sibling!)It's just chill out time when we can shop all day and kick back with a few vodka and cranberries over a meal at night. Oh and my Sis and I can con Mum into buying us things for Christmas that she wouldn't normally by appealing that we are her bairns!
So Minneapolis here we come for the fourth year on the trot. Now time to save the pennies to spend....which will mean no new shoes from now until then (well possibly a new pair of trainers!) but given my vast collection I have enough to go from September until December without wearing the same one's twice so I shoud be able to cope!
Course this all says a lot about me (apart from a love of shoes which borders on obsession). It says I am unable to stick to any sort of self imposed ban.
Jenny xx
While I'm Here...
I back Miko.
What a fecking uproar over a dive. Yes it was against Scotland and yes it could have proved a blow to our hopes of qualifying for Euro 2008 but...it didnae! All forwards do it. Yes it's cheating but hey look at Christiano Ronaldo or closer to home maybe Davie Weir or Gary O'Connor...both of whom cheated on Saturday.
Lithuania lost the game. We won 3-1. Miko dived. Big deal. If he does the same on the 17th October or 17th November against either Ukraine or France for Lithuania and they beat them he will be a national hero in Scotland.
Miko played better for his country than he has for ages in a Hearts shirt and had the better of Hutton from when he came on. More of the same on Saturday Miko son when Hutton comes calling with his Rankgers team mates!
I back Miko!
Jenny xx
What a fecking uproar over a dive. Yes it was against Scotland and yes it could have proved a blow to our hopes of qualifying for Euro 2008 but...it didnae! All forwards do it. Yes it's cheating but hey look at Christiano Ronaldo or closer to home maybe Davie Weir or Gary O'Connor...both of whom cheated on Saturday.
Lithuania lost the game. We won 3-1. Miko dived. Big deal. If he does the same on the 17th October or 17th November against either Ukraine or France for Lithuania and they beat them he will be a national hero in Scotland.
Miko played better for his country than he has for ages in a Hearts shirt and had the better of Hutton from when he came on. More of the same on Saturday Miko son when Hutton comes calling with his Rankgers team mates!
I back Miko!
Jenny xx
No Smoke Without Fire?
Back in may when little Madeline went missing my heart went out to her parents. Like any other right minded person. However, it nagged at me that they had left her alone in the first place but still I thought "well hard lesson learned there". That though was 3 months ago. In that time my opinion has changed somewhat. I'm still perlexed by the fact they left 3 small children alone and for several weeks now I have thought there was a damn sight more to this than meets the eye. Now we find the McCann family firmly in the spotlight as possible suspects. Could it be a case of no smoke without fire? My attitude changed within weeks of her disappearance. Let me explain why...
1)It's never acceptable to leave small children alone. Bad judgement? Yes. Bad parenting? Yes. Does it make them responsible? Yes. If they were working class parents from an inner city they'd have been slaughtered for it. Yet they have never, bar once, mentioned leaving her alone. They have never said it was silly or stupid or it was there own fault...surely any parent would?
2)If you were going to "steal" a child why would you go for the one who can talk and cause problems for you? The one in the middle of the bed? Why not take one of the younger ones? Think about it...you know this will be all over the news as soon as you've taken her. Why risk, if this is a straight abduction and she is alive, taking the one child most likely to say "where's my mummy?" in a public place.
3) It has become apparent the Maddie must be dead. The sheer volume of press would surely make it impossible for her to be alive. How did she get out Portugal? Let's face is she's highly unlikely to stil be there is she is alive. A small, blonde, english speaking child will stick out like a sore thumb over there now. So why are Kate and Gerry not willing to concede this? As before you could never risk taking Maddie out in public. She can speak for god's sake. It's too big a risk to take.
4) 3 year olds are not as daft as we think. We've seen it in the press often enough about wee scones who dial 999 to save Mummy or who have the ability to know their address. From the age of 2 a child has the mental ability to differ right from wrong. In this day and age it's few children who have not been told by their parents even at that young age about the dangers of strangers. In addition at that age children link to Mummy and Daddy in a big way. They do not have the ability to be concise in words but they certainly do possess the ability to cry, scream and stamp their feet when they are upset or want their Mothers. They do this even with people they knwo well when they want their parents. Maddie would surely have done this is she was alive. She would have, at some point, kicked off in a temper. Yet no-one anywhere in the world has seen it.
5) The timescale doesn't fit. The McCann's timing of their arrival is out of synch with another who attended the meal.
6)No-one knows when Maddie was last seen alive.
7) Kate and Gerry may well have the middle class stiff upper lip going on. Fair enough some people can control their emotions. I am one of them. I didn't shed a tear in public when my Father died. Alone though in private I was a wreck but I know this...controlled or not...if someone had one of my children I'd be freaking out. I'd be angry, I'd be emotional, I'd be scared, I'd be fearing the worst, I'd be out there looking, I'd be making threats of violence. In short my parental instinct would kick in. I've seen no evidence of any of this from either Gerry or Kate. Surely there is only so far a stiff upper lip can go? So we hear they cry at night...but where is the anger? Where is the emotion? Emotion is not just about crying. Even their pleas seem to lack emotion.
8) Sadly I know people who have lost a child. These people could barely function for weeks. Yes, tragically, they had clarity in that their child was dead but it doesn't detract from the fact that their was a gap in their lives which they could not accept. They dragged themselves through making plans, through visits from relatives and the grief of others and ultimately the funeral. Do not tell me it has not crossed Kate and Gerry's minds that there daughter is dead? Yet they seem to be carrying on with life. Facing the world with freshly washed hair and make up. Jogging round Portugal and jetting round the world (leaving their twins behind) to meet the pope, release records, distribute posters. I suspect the majority of us in the same position would be at best dishevelled, not quite as controlled and less inclined to leave our other children for a second. Their behaviour just seems to go against parental instinct. That thing inside you when you are a parent that just comes forward from the minute that child is put in your arms. That involuntary notion to protect, to love and cherish this little being. And most of all that emotion, panic and anger that comes from not having them there to protect, love and cherish. Or the guilt at not having done the job properly. Where is the guilt? I carry a guilt in me everyday that I did not manage to be there to save my Father. I'm not even his parent. I still wonder if I could have done soemthing even though I know I couldn't have. Where is the guilt? Where is the emotion that goes with it? Where is the "we're so sorry Maddie?"
9) The DNA? Well it an be explained away in a number of ways but let's think back...No confirmed sightings of the child. No witnesses saw or heard anything unusual. No-one able to confirm when Maddie was last seen. No-one went into the room to check them. The unlocked room. I know if I was checking my child I'd look in. Likewise if I was checking somene elses child. Otherwise why leave the door unlocked? Blood found in the room. Tiny specks. From where? How did they get there? Did Maddie fall? Had she cut herself earlier in the holiday?
10) Friends at the meal used the creche facility that night. Provided by the complex. There was also a babysitting service. Now even if you had to pay for it this is a couple who earn 6 figures a year or more. There is no excuse for not using it. Why didn't they? A witness has confirmed this was not the first night the children were left alone. Another has confirmed she heard Maddie crying and shouting out for her Daddy a few nights earlier while the McCanns were out. Yet on the night she apparently vanishes into thin air no-one hears anything? Are we supposed to believe that someone lifted a 3 year old child from a sleep, walked out a complex and took her with no-one seeing or hearing anything? That Maddie didn't wake and cry out or shout or struggle? Cause if she did then surely someone would have heard or saw something? And all this in the space of 10 minutes? Because apparently the McCanns and their friends checked every 10 minutes. Of course when Gerry went he was apparently gone 10 minutes and admitted to spending 6 of them chatting to someone. So 4 minutes from restaurant to apartment to check the children before chatting to this friend?
11)The McCann's firmly believe Maddie is still alive. So put yourself in that position. You're peaking to the press day in, day out for weeks in a bid to keep it in the spotlight, to keep yoru daughter in everyone's minds. You appeal to whoever has her to bring her back. Fair enough. However, given the massive press coverage and the fact your child is in every newspaper, on posters everywhere and on every tv set in the world is it not likey Maddie will see herself somewhere and ask questions if she is alive? Or say "Oh look there's me!" as 3 year olds do. Again it comfirms that anyone taking her with a view to keeping her alive would not be able to take her out, put her to school, to a doctor, to a restaurant. No-one is going to take that risk. She is no use to anyone who wanted to keep her alive. But...as her parent you are absolutely sure she is alive somewhere...does instinct not tell you to appeal to your daughter? To tell her you love her and want her home. That you didn't give her away, that you miss her and that you are doing all you can to get her back. Why have the McCanns not said any of this? Forget the advice they might be getting. Gut instinct and emotion sometimes overrules everything else. Not once have they appealed to their child directly.
There is a theory doing the rounds...
That the McCanns may have sedated the children to help keep them asleep while they were out. They return to find Maddie dead. They desperately ty to resusitate her but fail. It's not an out of this world theory. So what do they do? Their daughter is dead. They prescribed medicine they shouldn't have. They have careers and 2 other children. Do they risk losing everything? or do they cover it up knowing there's nothing they can do for Maddie now? It's not outwith the realms of probability if it happened a day or do sooner than we were told Maddie disappeared. They would have had time to for the meal alibi and to get rid of the body.
I'm not saying this is what happened. I'm merely throwing up the option. I sincerely hope they did not do it. They would instantly become the most hated people in the country. I hope Maddie is found...even if she is dead as horrible as that sounds...so one way or the other this can be put to bed. If the McCann's are innocent they need to get closure on this and if finding her proves they were involved then they need to be punished.
One things for sure...if they are innocent it's one of the first times there has been smoke without fire.
Jenny xx
1)It's never acceptable to leave small children alone. Bad judgement? Yes. Bad parenting? Yes. Does it make them responsible? Yes. If they were working class parents from an inner city they'd have been slaughtered for it. Yet they have never, bar once, mentioned leaving her alone. They have never said it was silly or stupid or it was there own fault...surely any parent would?
2)If you were going to "steal" a child why would you go for the one who can talk and cause problems for you? The one in the middle of the bed? Why not take one of the younger ones? Think about it...you know this will be all over the news as soon as you've taken her. Why risk, if this is a straight abduction and she is alive, taking the one child most likely to say "where's my mummy?" in a public place.
3) It has become apparent the Maddie must be dead. The sheer volume of press would surely make it impossible for her to be alive. How did she get out Portugal? Let's face is she's highly unlikely to stil be there is she is alive. A small, blonde, english speaking child will stick out like a sore thumb over there now. So why are Kate and Gerry not willing to concede this? As before you could never risk taking Maddie out in public. She can speak for god's sake. It's too big a risk to take.
4) 3 year olds are not as daft as we think. We've seen it in the press often enough about wee scones who dial 999 to save Mummy or who have the ability to know their address. From the age of 2 a child has the mental ability to differ right from wrong. In this day and age it's few children who have not been told by their parents even at that young age about the dangers of strangers. In addition at that age children link to Mummy and Daddy in a big way. They do not have the ability to be concise in words but they certainly do possess the ability to cry, scream and stamp their feet when they are upset or want their Mothers. They do this even with people they knwo well when they want their parents. Maddie would surely have done this is she was alive. She would have, at some point, kicked off in a temper. Yet no-one anywhere in the world has seen it.
5) The timescale doesn't fit. The McCann's timing of their arrival is out of synch with another who attended the meal.
6)No-one knows when Maddie was last seen alive.
7) Kate and Gerry may well have the middle class stiff upper lip going on. Fair enough some people can control their emotions. I am one of them. I didn't shed a tear in public when my Father died. Alone though in private I was a wreck but I know this...controlled or not...if someone had one of my children I'd be freaking out. I'd be angry, I'd be emotional, I'd be scared, I'd be fearing the worst, I'd be out there looking, I'd be making threats of violence. In short my parental instinct would kick in. I've seen no evidence of any of this from either Gerry or Kate. Surely there is only so far a stiff upper lip can go? So we hear they cry at night...but where is the anger? Where is the emotion? Emotion is not just about crying. Even their pleas seem to lack emotion.
8) Sadly I know people who have lost a child. These people could barely function for weeks. Yes, tragically, they had clarity in that their child was dead but it doesn't detract from the fact that their was a gap in their lives which they could not accept. They dragged themselves through making plans, through visits from relatives and the grief of others and ultimately the funeral. Do not tell me it has not crossed Kate and Gerry's minds that there daughter is dead? Yet they seem to be carrying on with life. Facing the world with freshly washed hair and make up. Jogging round Portugal and jetting round the world (leaving their twins behind) to meet the pope, release records, distribute posters. I suspect the majority of us in the same position would be at best dishevelled, not quite as controlled and less inclined to leave our other children for a second. Their behaviour just seems to go against parental instinct. That thing inside you when you are a parent that just comes forward from the minute that child is put in your arms. That involuntary notion to protect, to love and cherish this little being. And most of all that emotion, panic and anger that comes from not having them there to protect, love and cherish. Or the guilt at not having done the job properly. Where is the guilt? I carry a guilt in me everyday that I did not manage to be there to save my Father. I'm not even his parent. I still wonder if I could have done soemthing even though I know I couldn't have. Where is the guilt? Where is the emotion that goes with it? Where is the "we're so sorry Maddie?"
9) The DNA? Well it an be explained away in a number of ways but let's think back...No confirmed sightings of the child. No witnesses saw or heard anything unusual. No-one able to confirm when Maddie was last seen. No-one went into the room to check them. The unlocked room. I know if I was checking my child I'd look in. Likewise if I was checking somene elses child. Otherwise why leave the door unlocked? Blood found in the room. Tiny specks. From where? How did they get there? Did Maddie fall? Had she cut herself earlier in the holiday?
10) Friends at the meal used the creche facility that night. Provided by the complex. There was also a babysitting service. Now even if you had to pay for it this is a couple who earn 6 figures a year or more. There is no excuse for not using it. Why didn't they? A witness has confirmed this was not the first night the children were left alone. Another has confirmed she heard Maddie crying and shouting out for her Daddy a few nights earlier while the McCanns were out. Yet on the night she apparently vanishes into thin air no-one hears anything? Are we supposed to believe that someone lifted a 3 year old child from a sleep, walked out a complex and took her with no-one seeing or hearing anything? That Maddie didn't wake and cry out or shout or struggle? Cause if she did then surely someone would have heard or saw something? And all this in the space of 10 minutes? Because apparently the McCanns and their friends checked every 10 minutes. Of course when Gerry went he was apparently gone 10 minutes and admitted to spending 6 of them chatting to someone. So 4 minutes from restaurant to apartment to check the children before chatting to this friend?
11)The McCann's firmly believe Maddie is still alive. So put yourself in that position. You're peaking to the press day in, day out for weeks in a bid to keep it in the spotlight, to keep yoru daughter in everyone's minds. You appeal to whoever has her to bring her back. Fair enough. However, given the massive press coverage and the fact your child is in every newspaper, on posters everywhere and on every tv set in the world is it not likey Maddie will see herself somewhere and ask questions if she is alive? Or say "Oh look there's me!" as 3 year olds do. Again it comfirms that anyone taking her with a view to keeping her alive would not be able to take her out, put her to school, to a doctor, to a restaurant. No-one is going to take that risk. She is no use to anyone who wanted to keep her alive. But...as her parent you are absolutely sure she is alive somewhere...does instinct not tell you to appeal to your daughter? To tell her you love her and want her home. That you didn't give her away, that you miss her and that you are doing all you can to get her back. Why have the McCanns not said any of this? Forget the advice they might be getting. Gut instinct and emotion sometimes overrules everything else. Not once have they appealed to their child directly.
There is a theory doing the rounds...
That the McCanns may have sedated the children to help keep them asleep while they were out. They return to find Maddie dead. They desperately ty to resusitate her but fail. It's not an out of this world theory. So what do they do? Their daughter is dead. They prescribed medicine they shouldn't have. They have careers and 2 other children. Do they risk losing everything? or do they cover it up knowing there's nothing they can do for Maddie now? It's not outwith the realms of probability if it happened a day or do sooner than we were told Maddie disappeared. They would have had time to for the meal alibi and to get rid of the body.
I'm not saying this is what happened. I'm merely throwing up the option. I sincerely hope they did not do it. They would instantly become the most hated people in the country. I hope Maddie is found...even if she is dead as horrible as that sounds...so one way or the other this can be put to bed. If the McCann's are innocent they need to get closure on this and if finding her proves they were involved then they need to be punished.
One things for sure...if they are innocent it's one of the first times there has been smoke without fire.
Jenny xx
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Made Me Smile...
I like to laugh. One thing that makes me laugh is life. Another is a sarcastic wit. Another still is a dry sense of humour. So it stands to reason I like comedians who base their act on nothing more than observing life and telling us about it...because let's face it...it's the everyday things that are funny.
I got sent this in an email and it made me smile. It's wee observations from a well known comedian...read it first and it'll tel you who it is at the bottom.
Irritations...
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know
where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch
when I ask where the toilet is? Em No.
2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire
room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change
the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
Fucking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it
is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people
do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No
tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking
floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a
choice there, did you sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new,
then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement,
then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest
damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come
yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head?
10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So
what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?
11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No
it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.
12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an
image I really didn't need.
13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't
insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering..... It has to be a
McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have
a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you fucking McTosser.
Yep it had to be really didn't it? It's Billy Connolly.
Jenny xx
I got sent this in an email and it made me smile. It's wee observations from a well known comedian...read it first and it'll tel you who it is at the bottom.
Irritations...
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know
where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch
when I ask where the toilet is? Em No.
2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire
room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change
the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
Fucking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it
is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people
do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No
tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking
floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a
choice there, did you sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new,
then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement,
then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest
damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come
yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head?
10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So
what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?
11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No
it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.
12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an
image I really didn't need.
13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't
insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering..... It has to be a
McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have
a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you fucking McTosser.
Yep it had to be really didn't it? It's Billy Connolly.
Jenny xx
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Interviews...
So I'm reading an article on the web about interviews for jobs. Apparently in a year or so's time 80% of vacancies in the UK will be filled using competency based interviews. You know the ones where you are asked the old "Can you give me an example of a time when you went out of your way to provide great service?" type thingys. One question for each of the competencies that go with the job.
It states that already across the UK almost every council uses this method to employ staff as do the majority of major retailers. Mmmm. Made me think did that.
What happens if the job you are applying for is, say, Lollipop Lady (which is obviously called something posh now like Childrens Traffic Safety Officer or some such nonsense). What do you do then? What competencies do you need to display?
Interviwer: "Can you give an example of a time when you have safely managed to stop traffic?
Candidate: "Well aye. I once went to a crossing, pushed the button and waited on the green man before proceeding across the road in a safe manner making it to the other side in one piece"
Interviewer: "Excellent. Now this job requires you to work in all weathers so can you tell us of a time you've had to cope with all weathers?"
Candidate: "Well I've lived in Scotland all my life so I'm used to getting four seasons in one day. I once went to Asda and it was sunny when I left, windy by the time I got there and it was raining when I came out and by the time I got home again it had turned to sleet but I still got my shopping in."
Interviewer: "Superb. You will appreciate there are skills required for this role, both mental and physical. What qualifications or skills do you have that you feel are suitable for this post?"
Candidate: "Oh I think I have all the skills required. Firstly I have a lot of experience in crossing the road and have been doing it since I was old enough to walk really. I learned my green cross code aged about 4 from seeing those adverts which had the boy who played Darth Vader in them and I've never been knocked down. I was a member of the Tufty Club at school and even got badges with Tufty and his pals on them. To this day I never cross a road without first saying to myself "stop, look, listen and think and never go between parked cars". I also know how silly it is to walk out from behind an ice cream van. In addition, I went to Blackpool once and got one of those really big loolipops and lifted it no bother when I was eating it so physically I think I'd be ok. I also really suit flourescent yellow."
Interviewer: "Great. Well thank you and we'll be in touch"
Or what if the job you are after is a wee part-time thing in a supermarket stacking shelves?
Interviewer: "Now organisational skills are very important to this job. Can you provide an example of a time when you've needed excellent organisational skills?"
Candidate: "Oh yes, I have 5 kids so every day is a fine display of organisation from me. I get them washed, dressed, fed and watered, schoolbags sorted, lunches sorted and out the door 5 days a week before 8:30am"
Interviewer: "I see. Good. What about visual display skills? Can you give me an example of a time when you have gone that extra mile to make sure something looked just right?"
Candidate: "Well you should have seen my Christmas dinner table settings. They were fabulous. All co-ordinated in Gold and Green and Red. It took my ages to get everything just right but everyone said how lovely it looked"
Interviewer: "Splendid. A major part of this role involves flexibility so for example, from time to time you may be required to go onto tills if it gets really busy. Can you provide an example of a time when you've had to be flexible and change your plans at short notice and how you dealt with this?"
Candidate: "I'm very flexible because I've done yoga for years and I used to go to gymnastics as a child. Oh I see what you mean! Silly me. Well yes I do have an example. Once I was supposed to meet my Sister outside Debenhams. We chose Debenhams becuase I wanted a new Lipstick and a fascinator for a wedding I was going to and they have loads in there, anyway my Sister rang my mobile when I was on the bus and said she could we change it to meeting outside Boots instead because her daughter had nits and she needed to get lotion for her hair. Of course being a flexible sort of person I said yes and I just got of the bus a stop earlier. We got her nit lotion and I got a Lipstick in there instead which was on offer and then we went onto Debenhams and I got a lovely pink fascinator to match my dress for the wedding."
Interviewer: "Excellent! Well thank you and we'll be in touch"
It's a bit daft really isn't it? I've done 2 interviews like this in my lifetime (I got the job both times I might add) but then in all honestly it's kind of hard to screw it up if you have the ability to think on your feet. I mean seriously 99.9% of people who go to an interview lie at some point and in competency based interviews you just lie a bit more don't you? Oh aye I once had to deal with a really bad customer who came in and pointed a gun at me and said he was was kill us all but I listened to his issues, spoke to him in a soothing manner and by the end of it we were best friends and I got a big promotion and a big bonus in my wages and everyone loved me and now I'm gonna come and work for you and do the same thing.
It's all bollocks and this is how we end up with fuckwits who can't read or write or who do not have the slightest grasp of grammar in positions of power in this country. Yes the fact you can lie your way into a job may help someone climb a ladder who deserves it and can do the job but it also aids the retards with smart mouths and nothing else to offer the same chances. It's all screwed up I tells ya!
Jenny xx
It states that already across the UK almost every council uses this method to employ staff as do the majority of major retailers. Mmmm. Made me think did that.
What happens if the job you are applying for is, say, Lollipop Lady (which is obviously called something posh now like Childrens Traffic Safety Officer or some such nonsense). What do you do then? What competencies do you need to display?
Interviwer: "Can you give an example of a time when you have safely managed to stop traffic?
Candidate: "Well aye. I once went to a crossing, pushed the button and waited on the green man before proceeding across the road in a safe manner making it to the other side in one piece"
Interviewer: "Excellent. Now this job requires you to work in all weathers so can you tell us of a time you've had to cope with all weathers?"
Candidate: "Well I've lived in Scotland all my life so I'm used to getting four seasons in one day. I once went to Asda and it was sunny when I left, windy by the time I got there and it was raining when I came out and by the time I got home again it had turned to sleet but I still got my shopping in."
Interviewer: "Superb. You will appreciate there are skills required for this role, both mental and physical. What qualifications or skills do you have that you feel are suitable for this post?"
Candidate: "Oh I think I have all the skills required. Firstly I have a lot of experience in crossing the road and have been doing it since I was old enough to walk really. I learned my green cross code aged about 4 from seeing those adverts which had the boy who played Darth Vader in them and I've never been knocked down. I was a member of the Tufty Club at school and even got badges with Tufty and his pals on them. To this day I never cross a road without first saying to myself "stop, look, listen and think and never go between parked cars". I also know how silly it is to walk out from behind an ice cream van. In addition, I went to Blackpool once and got one of those really big loolipops and lifted it no bother when I was eating it so physically I think I'd be ok. I also really suit flourescent yellow."
Interviewer: "Great. Well thank you and we'll be in touch"
Or what if the job you are after is a wee part-time thing in a supermarket stacking shelves?
Interviewer: "Now organisational skills are very important to this job. Can you provide an example of a time when you've needed excellent organisational skills?"
Candidate: "Oh yes, I have 5 kids so every day is a fine display of organisation from me. I get them washed, dressed, fed and watered, schoolbags sorted, lunches sorted and out the door 5 days a week before 8:30am"
Interviewer: "I see. Good. What about visual display skills? Can you give me an example of a time when you have gone that extra mile to make sure something looked just right?"
Candidate: "Well you should have seen my Christmas dinner table settings. They were fabulous. All co-ordinated in Gold and Green and Red. It took my ages to get everything just right but everyone said how lovely it looked"
Interviewer: "Splendid. A major part of this role involves flexibility so for example, from time to time you may be required to go onto tills if it gets really busy. Can you provide an example of a time when you've had to be flexible and change your plans at short notice and how you dealt with this?"
Candidate: "I'm very flexible because I've done yoga for years and I used to go to gymnastics as a child. Oh I see what you mean! Silly me. Well yes I do have an example. Once I was supposed to meet my Sister outside Debenhams. We chose Debenhams becuase I wanted a new Lipstick and a fascinator for a wedding I was going to and they have loads in there, anyway my Sister rang my mobile when I was on the bus and said she could we change it to meeting outside Boots instead because her daughter had nits and she needed to get lotion for her hair. Of course being a flexible sort of person I said yes and I just got of the bus a stop earlier. We got her nit lotion and I got a Lipstick in there instead which was on offer and then we went onto Debenhams and I got a lovely pink fascinator to match my dress for the wedding."
Interviewer: "Excellent! Well thank you and we'll be in touch"
It's a bit daft really isn't it? I've done 2 interviews like this in my lifetime (I got the job both times I might add) but then in all honestly it's kind of hard to screw it up if you have the ability to think on your feet. I mean seriously 99.9% of people who go to an interview lie at some point and in competency based interviews you just lie a bit more don't you? Oh aye I once had to deal with a really bad customer who came in and pointed a gun at me and said he was was kill us all but I listened to his issues, spoke to him in a soothing manner and by the end of it we were best friends and I got a big promotion and a big bonus in my wages and everyone loved me and now I'm gonna come and work for you and do the same thing.
It's all bollocks and this is how we end up with fuckwits who can't read or write or who do not have the slightest grasp of grammar in positions of power in this country. Yes the fact you can lie your way into a job may help someone climb a ladder who deserves it and can do the job but it also aids the retards with smart mouths and nothing else to offer the same chances. It's all screwed up I tells ya!
Jenny xx
First Up...
This Blog is now officially a football free zone. Football is a game which is no longer aloud to be discussed on here. The actual thing of kicking a ball about with the object of scoring goals is no more on here. There will be no more talk of happiness in the stands or trips to away grounds or details of delightful goals or skills witnessed. Football is now banned here on this blog.
Luckily for you all though this ban will not affect my coming on here and writing about Heart Of Midlothian FC, the team that I personnally choose to support. How can this be? I hear you ask. Simple, so far this season Heart Of Midlothian FC have not played any football nor anything remotely resembling football.
Therefore until they do the ban will obviously not apply to them. It is my humble opinion that it will be a fecking long time before the football ban affects the current Heart Of Midlothian FC team...bunch of useless tossers that they are.
Jenny xx
Luckily for you all though this ban will not affect my coming on here and writing about Heart Of Midlothian FC, the team that I personnally choose to support. How can this be? I hear you ask. Simple, so far this season Heart Of Midlothian FC have not played any football nor anything remotely resembling football.
Therefore until they do the ban will obviously not apply to them. It is my humble opinion that it will be a fecking long time before the football ban affects the current Heart Of Midlothian FC team...bunch of useless tossers that they are.
Jenny xx
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Woo Hoo...
In just a few short days the Scottish footie season returns!!
Monday night I shall be in section G at my beloved Tynie to see the Hearts demolish the Hibs. What a perfect way to start a season!
The old appetite was whetted on Saturday when we headed to Muddyfield to see Hearts play FC Barcelona in a friendly. So we got beat but who cares? It was Barca, it was Ronaldinho, it was Thierry Henry, I got blisters on my feet from my new trainers...
Jenny xx
Monday night I shall be in section G at my beloved Tynie to see the Hearts demolish the Hibs. What a perfect way to start a season!
The old appetite was whetted on Saturday when we headed to Muddyfield to see Hearts play FC Barcelona in a friendly. So we got beat but who cares? It was Barca, it was Ronaldinho, it was Thierry Henry, I got blisters on my feet from my new trainers...
Jenny xx
Jeez...
Well I knew there were some strange folks in the world but who knew they'd all be in Edinburgh on Thursday 2nd August? Is it officially "wierdo's day" and no-one has told me?
I only ask because I seem to have spent most of today surrounded by, dealing with and generally having to interact with stupid people.
In fact maybe today was "cannae hear you" day. Yeah that's probably what it was judging by the number of times I've had to repeat myself today!
"What part of no don't you understand?" and "And that's my problem how?" are my most used phrases today.
Just another day in the life of a working Mum.
Jenny xx
I only ask because I seem to have spent most of today surrounded by, dealing with and generally having to interact with stupid people.
In fact maybe today was "cannae hear you" day. Yeah that's probably what it was judging by the number of times I've had to repeat myself today!
"What part of no don't you understand?" and "And that's my problem how?" are my most used phrases today.
Just another day in the life of a working Mum.
Jenny xx
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Happy Birthday...
July has been a busy month birthday wise for me. Firstly a big Happy Birthday to my boy who has gone from being 6 year old to being 7 year old last Thursday in a haze of Scooby Doo, Transformers, PS2 games and Lego...yes Lego, how very retro!
Also Happy Birthday to Mike who was a year older on the 12th and to my big bairn Siobhan who was a very old 19 on Sunday in a haze of money and perfume! 10 year old was very chuffed to at last be buying a card with sister on it after all these years!
Happy Birthday Ya'll.
Jenny xx
Also Happy Birthday to Mike who was a year older on the 12th and to my big bairn Siobhan who was a very old 19 on Sunday in a haze of money and perfume! 10 year old was very chuffed to at last be buying a card with sister on it after all these years!
Happy Birthday Ya'll.
Jenny xx
It's All In The Sky...
Yesterday I looked up at the sky and there was a big dinosaur looking back at me. A few days ago when I glanced up I saw a wizard complete with pointy hat in the sky. In Florida I saw a witch on a broomstick heading across the sky far above me and only this morning I saw something that clearly resembled an elephant right above my back garden.
Now you'd be forgiven for thinking I've gone a bit loopy but I've not. You see all these images were made from clouds.
I was lying there a few weeks back on my holibobs looking up at the sky just watching the clouds pass over head (as they do around tea time in Florida in July just before the rain and thunderstorms hit) and I spotted what looked like a dog. A few days later (and bizarrely just after the radio had issued a tornado warning!) I saw a witch on a broomstick overhead (how very Wizard Of Oz!!) and it dawned on me how good clouds were.
We all did it as bairns didn't we? Looked up at the sky and saw things in the clouds. Well I have come to the conclusion that we should do it more. Why? I'll tell you why. It's theraputic. So you're a bit stressed out, you've been busy all day or you're just plain knackered. Go out and lie on your back in a nice spot and look up at the clouds in the sky and let your mind wander (course this will only work if there are clouds in the sky...otherwise it defeats the purpose!). Chances are that within a few minutes you'll see some image or another up there and you will just smile. I don't know why you smile but you just do. 15 minutes lying there and you'll feel relaxed and happy just watching the clouds go by. It's free therapy! It just makes you feel a bit happy and calm.
Clouds are great. So there.
Oh and while we're on a bit of "make yourself more happy" therapy here's one for you blokes to try...Next time you feel a bit pissed off bear this in mind.
When you are at work/out/whatever and you find yourself talking to a female colleague/friend/whatever think to yourself "I have a lovely penis you know" (change penis to your prefered word for it!) and you will find that you just smile. Not only will you just smile but you feel a slight sense of childhood silliness as well which will make you smile even more. Add to that the fact that the female will probably have no idea why you're smiling and the feeling of silliness will just increase.
Yes we're adults with responsibilities ans shit but sometimes when we're dealing with these responsibilities we just need to reconnect with ourr inner child and let loose for a minute or two.
You can't beat a smile to make you feel a bit better.
Jenny xx
Now you'd be forgiven for thinking I've gone a bit loopy but I've not. You see all these images were made from clouds.
I was lying there a few weeks back on my holibobs looking up at the sky just watching the clouds pass over head (as they do around tea time in Florida in July just before the rain and thunderstorms hit) and I spotted what looked like a dog. A few days later (and bizarrely just after the radio had issued a tornado warning!) I saw a witch on a broomstick overhead (how very Wizard Of Oz!!) and it dawned on me how good clouds were.
We all did it as bairns didn't we? Looked up at the sky and saw things in the clouds. Well I have come to the conclusion that we should do it more. Why? I'll tell you why. It's theraputic. So you're a bit stressed out, you've been busy all day or you're just plain knackered. Go out and lie on your back in a nice spot and look up at the clouds in the sky and let your mind wander (course this will only work if there are clouds in the sky...otherwise it defeats the purpose!). Chances are that within a few minutes you'll see some image or another up there and you will just smile. I don't know why you smile but you just do. 15 minutes lying there and you'll feel relaxed and happy just watching the clouds go by. It's free therapy! It just makes you feel a bit happy and calm.
Clouds are great. So there.
Oh and while we're on a bit of "make yourself more happy" therapy here's one for you blokes to try...Next time you feel a bit pissed off bear this in mind.
When you are at work/out/whatever and you find yourself talking to a female colleague/friend/whatever think to yourself "I have a lovely penis you know" (change penis to your prefered word for it!) and you will find that you just smile. Not only will you just smile but you feel a slight sense of childhood silliness as well which will make you smile even more. Add to that the fact that the female will probably have no idea why you're smiling and the feeling of silliness will just increase.
Yes we're adults with responsibilities ans shit but sometimes when we're dealing with these responsibilities we just need to reconnect with ourr inner child and let loose for a minute or two.
You can't beat a smile to make you feel a bit better.
Jenny xx
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Still On America...
But on a different note...
It seems some random no good terrorist folks attempted to do bad deeds in Scotland whilst we were overseas. Most Americans who spoke to us or asked us about it where genuinely concerned and said they were glad it hadn't been much worse. However I got this by email while I was gone and although it's poking fun at the Americans it did have a slight ring of truth to it and made me laugh!
Terror Attacks. The USA versus Scotland.
So they came to Scotland and tried to do us a damage. Imagine if they'd done the same thing in a US airport. Here's some how the eyewitnesses from each country would have reacted.
American: "Oh my god! There was a guy on fire and I was just so scared. He was just running about the place on fire and I was so scared and it was all crazy and I thought I was gonna die!"
Scot: "Some guy wis oan fire and running aboot the place goin' mental so when he came near me I just gave a stiff kick and then decked him. Tosser"
American: "I just wanna get home. It's so scary to be here right now. I don't want to be near an airport or a plane. You just don't know if it's safe"
Scot: "Ah'll tell ye this. I'm no fecking leaving here till I get oan that plane tae my holidays"
American: "There was chaos everywhere. No-one knew what was going. We were just so scared and people were just running all over the place. We could have died"
Scot: "Place wis in an uproar man. Folk running aboot and that so I took my family up tae the bar and got a pint in till it aw calmed doon again"
American: "We thought he was gonna blow us all to kingdom come. He was on fire. He had a gas canister in his hand. He was trying to get into the trunk. It was real scary. We thought we were gonna die. We just ran for our life. I thank sweet jesus I'm still alive to tell the tale"
Scot: "There wis a boy on fire and he hud this gas thing in his hands and he wis trying tae open the boot o the car an that but he couldnae dae it. He wis shouting stuff and that so I went over and gave him a kick in the baws and then hooked him one tae shut him up. He didnae shout so much efter that"
American: "There was a huge explosion and we were so scared. I just ran for my life. I thought we were all gonna die. I grabbed my cell phone so I could ring my Mom and say goodbye. I thought we were all gonna be dead"
Scot: "There wis a big bang. It wis loud likes. I jumped a bit like and spilt some irn-bru on ma polo shirt"
American: "I'm feeling very traumatised and very upset right now. I'm not sure I'm up to talking about this right now. I seriously thought I was gonna die. I'm probably gonna need counselling"
Scot: "Aye I'm happy tae be interviewed pal but gies 2 minutes till a phone ma auld dear cause if ahm gonnie be on the tele ah want her tae tape it like"
Course these are all fictional quotes but here are two real ones...
John Smeaton, who was actually on the scene and helped to restrain one of the terrorists was interviewed by several news programmes. During his interview with ITN News the interviewer asked John: "What message do you have or the bombers?" John replied "This is Glasgow. We'll just set aboot ye" and when interviewed for CNN News John was asked how he restrained the terrorist. John replied "Me and other folk were just tryin' tae get the boot in and some other guy just banjoed him".
Absolute class.
Jenny xx
It seems some random no good terrorist folks attempted to do bad deeds in Scotland whilst we were overseas. Most Americans who spoke to us or asked us about it where genuinely concerned and said they were glad it hadn't been much worse. However I got this by email while I was gone and although it's poking fun at the Americans it did have a slight ring of truth to it and made me laugh!
Terror Attacks. The USA versus Scotland.
So they came to Scotland and tried to do us a damage. Imagine if they'd done the same thing in a US airport. Here's some how the eyewitnesses from each country would have reacted.
American: "Oh my god! There was a guy on fire and I was just so scared. He was just running about the place on fire and I was so scared and it was all crazy and I thought I was gonna die!"
Scot: "Some guy wis oan fire and running aboot the place goin' mental so when he came near me I just gave a stiff kick and then decked him. Tosser"
American: "I just wanna get home. It's so scary to be here right now. I don't want to be near an airport or a plane. You just don't know if it's safe"
Scot: "Ah'll tell ye this. I'm no fecking leaving here till I get oan that plane tae my holidays"
American: "There was chaos everywhere. No-one knew what was going. We were just so scared and people were just running all over the place. We could have died"
Scot: "Place wis in an uproar man. Folk running aboot and that so I took my family up tae the bar and got a pint in till it aw calmed doon again"
American: "We thought he was gonna blow us all to kingdom come. He was on fire. He had a gas canister in his hand. He was trying to get into the trunk. It was real scary. We thought we were gonna die. We just ran for our life. I thank sweet jesus I'm still alive to tell the tale"
Scot: "There wis a boy on fire and he hud this gas thing in his hands and he wis trying tae open the boot o the car an that but he couldnae dae it. He wis shouting stuff and that so I went over and gave him a kick in the baws and then hooked him one tae shut him up. He didnae shout so much efter that"
American: "There was a huge explosion and we were so scared. I just ran for my life. I thought we were all gonna die. I grabbed my cell phone so I could ring my Mom and say goodbye. I thought we were all gonna be dead"
Scot: "There wis a big bang. It wis loud likes. I jumped a bit like and spilt some irn-bru on ma polo shirt"
American: "I'm feeling very traumatised and very upset right now. I'm not sure I'm up to talking about this right now. I seriously thought I was gonna die. I'm probably gonna need counselling"
Scot: "Aye I'm happy tae be interviewed pal but gies 2 minutes till a phone ma auld dear cause if ahm gonnie be on the tele ah want her tae tape it like"
Course these are all fictional quotes but here are two real ones...
John Smeaton, who was actually on the scene and helped to restrain one of the terrorists was interviewed by several news programmes. During his interview with ITN News the interviewer asked John: "What message do you have or the bombers?" John replied "This is Glasgow. We'll just set aboot ye" and when interviewed for CNN News John was asked how he restrained the terrorist. John replied "Me and other folk were just tryin' tae get the boot in and some other guy just banjoed him".
Absolute class.
Jenny xx
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Rip Off Britain...
You know us Brits are royally ripped off. Everytime I go to the States it gets my back up at how fecking expensive everything in this country is. Let me show you what I mean...
I went to a store in Florida and made a few purchases (from the receipt which I kept) which were as follows:
4 pairs of boys jeans
1 denim jacket
4 adult hooded sweatshirts
1 pair mens cargo shorts
4 mens t-shirts
2 mens polo shirts
3 pairs ladies jeans
2 ladies casual tops
1 ladies long sleeved top
2 boys shirts
1 pair girls trackie bottoms
1 mens shirt
3 boys t-shirts
1 girls t-shirt
1 pair boys cargo pants
The total? $220. Or in pounds at the current exchange rate £113. I say again, £113. Now this wasn't some discount American outlet place this was a regular store on a par with somewhere like Debenhams here. Would I have gotten that much in there for £113? I don't bloody think so.
Let's take it a bit further will we? Say I wanted a new Toyota Rav 4...well here in the UK I'm looking at a base price of £19,999. If I bought the same base model in the states it'd be $21,686 or £10,870. For the same car? How can that be right? Or how about if I wanted a new washing machine? Maybe Whirlpool one with 12 settings for example. Well the price would be £422.99 or maybe I should pay $229.99 (£117) for the same one in the USA!
It does my fecking head in. Really it does. A flight from Edinburgh to London advertised today £189 return. A flight from Minneapolis to Orlando advertised today $110...double the distance and with the same air carrier but half the bloody price. Road tax? Nah, toll roads to pay as you go and if you don't use the route you don't pay. Discounts on attractions near you because you live there? Yes. $49.99 for an annual pass into the water park. Us? One day a year when the castle is free. Food? Don't even go there. TGI Fridays are offering a apecial deal just now... 2 courses for £10.99. TGI Fridays in Kissimmee? 2 courses for $10. Same food, different country.
As for Petrol? Do you the Americans are having a shit fit because their gas is up to $2.99 in places? That of course is a gallon though and not the hideous 89p per litre we pay here. Now fair enough in our gallon there are 4.54 litres and the US gallon only 3.78 liters but do the maths...4.54 litres here (litres are standard measure universally) would cost £4.04. So $2.99 for 4.54 litres seems like an absolute bargain. Here we accept the expense meekly with our usual stiff upper lip and British "let's take it on the chin" attitude yet in the States truck drivers are suing for millions in lost gas because at anything over temperatures of 64 degrees the gas expands and they are losing 0.4 of a gallon each time they fill up in hotter states and big haulage firms are suing for loss of earnings due to soaring gas prices. You wouldn't mind but damn me if we can't see fecking oil fields from the coast of Aberdeen! Yes I know that's bollocks and it doesn't matter that we have our own oil but it didn't stop the SNP using that little fact as part of their manifesto did it? Nor did it stop thousands of numpties voting for them either.
House prices? Another fecking bone of contention. $300,000 will buy you a 5 bedroom, fully furnished (and by fully furnished I mean right down to the lamps and cushions of your choice), decorated, new built detached home with a pool, 2 car garage and 3 bathrooms. That's £160,000 there abouts which if you're lucky will buy you a 2 bedroom flat in a stair in Edinburgh which may have a white bathroom suite instead of an avacado coloured one and if your dead lucky double glazing and central heating but you will have to pay and additional £700 per year for a parking permit to get your car outside.
As that chicken thing Caba-whatsit would say "Eeets an injusteece".
Pfft. Rant over.
Jenny xx
I went to a store in Florida and made a few purchases (from the receipt which I kept) which were as follows:
4 pairs of boys jeans
1 denim jacket
4 adult hooded sweatshirts
1 pair mens cargo shorts
4 mens t-shirts
2 mens polo shirts
3 pairs ladies jeans
2 ladies casual tops
1 ladies long sleeved top
2 boys shirts
1 pair girls trackie bottoms
1 mens shirt
3 boys t-shirts
1 girls t-shirt
1 pair boys cargo pants
The total? $220. Or in pounds at the current exchange rate £113. I say again, £113. Now this wasn't some discount American outlet place this was a regular store on a par with somewhere like Debenhams here. Would I have gotten that much in there for £113? I don't bloody think so.
Let's take it a bit further will we? Say I wanted a new Toyota Rav 4...well here in the UK I'm looking at a base price of £19,999. If I bought the same base model in the states it'd be $21,686 or £10,870. For the same car? How can that be right? Or how about if I wanted a new washing machine? Maybe Whirlpool one with 12 settings for example. Well the price would be £422.99 or maybe I should pay $229.99 (£117) for the same one in the USA!
It does my fecking head in. Really it does. A flight from Edinburgh to London advertised today £189 return. A flight from Minneapolis to Orlando advertised today $110...double the distance and with the same air carrier but half the bloody price. Road tax? Nah, toll roads to pay as you go and if you don't use the route you don't pay. Discounts on attractions near you because you live there? Yes. $49.99 for an annual pass into the water park. Us? One day a year when the castle is free. Food? Don't even go there. TGI Fridays are offering a apecial deal just now... 2 courses for £10.99. TGI Fridays in Kissimmee? 2 courses for $10. Same food, different country.
As for Petrol? Do you the Americans are having a shit fit because their gas is up to $2.99 in places? That of course is a gallon though and not the hideous 89p per litre we pay here. Now fair enough in our gallon there are 4.54 litres and the US gallon only 3.78 liters but do the maths...4.54 litres here (litres are standard measure universally) would cost £4.04. So $2.99 for 4.54 litres seems like an absolute bargain. Here we accept the expense meekly with our usual stiff upper lip and British "let's take it on the chin" attitude yet in the States truck drivers are suing for millions in lost gas because at anything over temperatures of 64 degrees the gas expands and they are losing 0.4 of a gallon each time they fill up in hotter states and big haulage firms are suing for loss of earnings due to soaring gas prices. You wouldn't mind but damn me if we can't see fecking oil fields from the coast of Aberdeen! Yes I know that's bollocks and it doesn't matter that we have our own oil but it didn't stop the SNP using that little fact as part of their manifesto did it? Nor did it stop thousands of numpties voting for them either.
House prices? Another fecking bone of contention. $300,000 will buy you a 5 bedroom, fully furnished (and by fully furnished I mean right down to the lamps and cushions of your choice), decorated, new built detached home with a pool, 2 car garage and 3 bathrooms. That's £160,000 there abouts which if you're lucky will buy you a 2 bedroom flat in a stair in Edinburgh which may have a white bathroom suite instead of an avacado coloured one and if your dead lucky double glazing and central heating but you will have to pay and additional £700 per year for a parking permit to get your car outside.
As that chicken thing Caba-whatsit would say "Eeets an injusteece".
Pfft. Rant over.
Jenny xx
And So It Is...
That my 3 weeks in sunny Florida comes to an end.
"Ladies and Gentleman this is the flight deck again, we will shortly be commencing our descent into Edinburgh airport and have been cleared for landing. Current weather conditions in Edinburgh for our landing will be cloudy skies with some showers and the current temperature is about 15 degrees celsius or 59 farenheit. Please return to your seats in preparation for our landing. Thank you"
15 fecking degrees? I will admit to making a highly audible sigh when I heard that. Home sweet home indeed. I'd just spent 21 days hearing "Well it'll be another warm day here in central Florida with temperatures around 94 tomorrow but when you factor in the heat index it'll feel more like 104" from the very cheery meterologists on central Florida news 13 during their weather on the 1's updates! 15 degrees seemed positively arctic after that!
So we're home after a great 3 weeks which involved sun, fun, food and thrill rides and a few days lounging by the pool doing nothing with a book in hand which was bliss.
I did a fair bit of shopping...went out with 1 suitcase with clothes in it and 2 empty ones (one inside the other!) and returned with 5 full size suitcases, 1 hold all, 2 pilot cases, 1 vanity case and one back pack all full to bursting and a $100 excess baggage charge for being overweight! The weight limit was 24kg per case...4 of mine weighed in at 64kg each. Oopsy! But hey ho...America is the land of the free (or at the least the land of the very much chepaer than here (more on that later!. I have not looked at my bank balance nor do I intend to any time soon (although it's a fair bet my bank manager will be looking at it and shaking his head).
We are still in the realms of wacky jet lag/sleeping at the wrong time thing that happens when you return from the States but that'll pass by tomorrow so it's all good.
Jenny xx
"Ladies and Gentleman this is the flight deck again, we will shortly be commencing our descent into Edinburgh airport and have been cleared for landing. Current weather conditions in Edinburgh for our landing will be cloudy skies with some showers and the current temperature is about 15 degrees celsius or 59 farenheit. Please return to your seats in preparation for our landing. Thank you"
15 fecking degrees? I will admit to making a highly audible sigh when I heard that. Home sweet home indeed. I'd just spent 21 days hearing "Well it'll be another warm day here in central Florida with temperatures around 94 tomorrow but when you factor in the heat index it'll feel more like 104" from the very cheery meterologists on central Florida news 13 during their weather on the 1's updates! 15 degrees seemed positively arctic after that!
So we're home after a great 3 weeks which involved sun, fun, food and thrill rides and a few days lounging by the pool doing nothing with a book in hand which was bliss.
I did a fair bit of shopping...went out with 1 suitcase with clothes in it and 2 empty ones (one inside the other!) and returned with 5 full size suitcases, 1 hold all, 2 pilot cases, 1 vanity case and one back pack all full to bursting and a $100 excess baggage charge for being overweight! The weight limit was 24kg per case...4 of mine weighed in at 64kg each. Oopsy! But hey ho...America is the land of the free (or at the least the land of the very much chepaer than here (more on that later!. I have not looked at my bank balance nor do I intend to any time soon (although it's a fair bet my bank manager will be looking at it and shaking his head).
We are still in the realms of wacky jet lag/sleeping at the wrong time thing that happens when you return from the States but that'll pass by tomorrow so it's all good.
Jenny xx
Friday, June 22, 2007
Oh And Absolutley My Last Post Before I Go...
I got my season tickets last Saturday! Yippee! Well actually I got 5 of them to be exactly! I am £1450 poorer but all the money spent at the club stays at the club so I like to think I've just paid for a toenail of a new player!
And anyway when us Jambos win the league this year it means I'm guaranteed to be there to see it!*
*Well you gotta have a dream eh?
Jenny xx
And anyway when us Jambos win the league this year it means I'm guaranteed to be there to see it!*
*Well you gotta have a dream eh?
Jenny xx
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