Right then I reckon I have the plague or at least some other horrible lurgy.
For the last fortnight I have been feeling rotten. Just a wee bug I thought when it kicked off exactly two weeks ago today but now? Well now I reckon I have some hideous superbug which is systematically detroying me!
It all began innocently enough. Achy bones and the mother of all headaches which lasted for 48 hours before easing of to the daughter of all headaches. By the Friday of that week the headache and achyness were accompanied by a temperature which was up and down more than a whores knickers. By the following Monday I felt knackered and had developed a sore throat. On the Tuesday I awoke to that nice runny nose that comes with a cold. By Wednesday I was into nostrils permanently blocked territory and needing to breath through my mouth due a lack of oxygen making it up my nasal passages! This wee phase lasted through to Friday when the runny nose had returned and was trying to choke me by sitting in my throat and attempting to drown me!
Saturday arrived and brought with it more snot and gunk and a headache...probably caused by me constantly blowing my nose in a bid to breath! By Sunday the gunk was there but was now accompanied by a dry throat which led to a nippy, irritating cough which wanted to appear every time I breathed to deeply or spoke and a tightness in my chest which was borderline painful whenever said cough reared it's head. That's how it remained until yesterday when the cough decided to get deeper and gunkier. And all the way through I have been plauged with sneezing and the inability to go more than 5 minutes without blowing my nose! Add to that a rash on my tummy, a throat that feels as thick as Pavarottis waistline and a mysterious red cricle under my arm and I'm kinda convinced I have some random plague type thingy!
I've self-medicated with every sort of over the counter remedy. Asprins, Paracetamol, Headaches tablets, Lemsips, throat lozenges and fresh orange but for some insane reason I seem to be getting sicker instead of better! I've tried to stay active throughout, getting on with stuff and getting fresh air but yesterday I admitted defeat and went to bed at 4pm.
I've also rung in sick to work as there was no way I was gonna make it through a 12 hour shift today (just as well really as I woke up this morning at 5am with a killer sore tummy and pain in my ears!). Anyhow the image of me standing behind my wee glass partition trying to offer advice, sympathy and air of authority to the public as they come in while excusing myself to sneeze, losing my voice and never being more than a minute away from a tissue is less than professional!
I'm gonna cave in again today and stay in bed. Hopefully the warmth and rest will shift this thing once and for all.
Anyhow if it's not shifted in a day or two I'm going to the Doc's as it might just be that an anti-biotic is required. I dunno what it is but I do know it doesn't respond to the usual remedy of retail therapy...I've bought a new american fridge/freezer, a set of new french doors, a new coffee maker, some new outdoor lights and a new car in the last week and none of them have helped!