Saturday, October 29, 2005

Over The Hill...

Was out last night at a party to celebrate Better Half's Brother's 40th birthday. I could have made that last statement a damn sight easier by saying my Brother-in Law's 40th but technically he's not as I am technically not married to his confusing do families need to be?

Anyway, it was a good night. Craig or Uncle Chicken as the kids call him...I don't know why...plays in a band and has done for a number of years. We have never seen him perform with the band but know he can sing so we were looking forward to finally hearing them especially as his Mum-in-Law (not technically as he's not yet married) had told us how good they were in the way only proud parents can!

I have to say though she was spot on. The band are called BlackStar and they play regularly in clubs and pubs around Midlothian and are from what I gathered last night very well known by the locals and have a fair wee following...they are also very good.

Craig and the guys played for nearly 2 hours and the set included covers of U2, Kaiser Chiefs, The Clash, Neil Diamond (no surprise there), REM and a few rocked up versions of old 60's classics to keep the old folks happy!

Craig is a real character, a one off and his lovely girlfriend Lee (my sister in law but not technically!) looked every inch the proud rock stars Mrs!

I had a laugh at the end of the night...Craig and Better Half are both follically challenged and both stand over 6ft 3 tall,Craig is very slim but Better Half is built like a brick shithouse (as we say in Scotland). The sight of a drunken Craig wrapping his arm around his Big Brother and saying to me with a very serious face "Look at us...this is the real Mitchell Brothers" cracked me up!

Carig and Lee are due to tie the knot next July...I'm looking forward to it. Maybe Better Half and I will do the same sometime then at least we can get rid of all the "technicalities" in the family and Lee and I can offically join the Mitchell clan!

Happy Birthday Craig!

Jenny xx

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Mosquito Mayhem...

While on holibobs I got bitten. I'm not happy.

It's been ages since I was bitten on holiday. Last time it was a tiny wee jumping spider thing in Florida about 4 years ago. This time it was a mosquito, which is great because I am allergic to their saliva.

I've got 5 bites on my lower leg and feet and the allergy has caused my feet and ankles to swell hideously. I am like the elephant woman I kid you not. The bites are now big blisters full of gunge which keeps running down my legs and feet...nice eh?

Apparently these little bubbles of goo are my bodies way of fighting the infection.

I love my flip flops (In fact I love all shoes - Jimmy Choo's, Manolo Blahniks, Nikes...) but even I know that I looked a complete ass wandering around Newcastle at 2 am in the pissing rain in flip flops but it was all I could fit on my bloody feet!

I've now got a course of antibiotics, a cream and a course of antihistamines to take. I am starting to rattle when I walk!

One good thing is that the mossie bit while I was asleep on the night I had gotten very drunk so I'm kind of hoping the alcohol in my bloodstream would have gotten it pissed as well enough so it flew straight into a wall and died!

Jenny xx

Home Again...

Well that'll be that then. My week in the sun is over and it's back to the wind and rain of Bonnie Scotland.

It was a good week. Got completely plastered the first night. Stopped in a few bars mid afternoon for a few beers followed up by a jug of sangria which Sis and I polished off between us. Headed back to the apartment to get changed to go out for something to least that was the plan but it got fucked up when Mum shouted to our balcony "Why don't you come through and have a wee vodka before we get changed?"

Needless to say we didn't make it out for dinner...instead we drunk a litre of vodka and a few large bottles of beer and dined on cheese and tomato sandwiches...went to bed very drunk but able to stand unlike wee Sis who was on her arse more than her feet and promptly went to bed and banged her head almost knocking herself out in the process!

We managed to behave for the rest of the time...the kids did get dinner every night after that!

Mum babysat one night so Sis, Better Half and I escaped to the town for a night. We headed off at 10pm and went to see Sticky Vicky who is a bit of a Benidorm Legend. Her trick being that she removes objects from her "Magical Vagina", razor blades, candles, pieces of ribbon...closely followed by lighting bulbs with her "bits" and for her best trick opening a bottle of coke with her aforementioned magical vagina. Good luck to any woman who at 60 odd is happy to prance around stark naked and gladly show you her beaver - and I must say she didn't look too bad for a woman of her age!

Next up was a comedian who had the audience eating out of his palm and in fits of laughter. He was followed by a hypnotist who did the usual caberet stuff. It was all good.

We finally staggered back home at 5.30am with sore sides from laughing.

My highlight of the week though was discovering that my Nephew can do the best impression of Peter Kay's character Max. Dean's "How dare you" is the funniest thing I've heard in ages.

Of course coming home is always a downer - especially as we got out of Newcastle Airport at 2.30am and then had to drive over 2 hours up the road. To top it off 5 year old decided he felt the need to wake from his sleep about halfway up the road in the middle of nowhere and puke all over my car seats which was nice. Thank the lord I went for leather seats is all I'm saying.

Still it was a good week. Really nice for us all to go together and spend some time with each other away from the hustle of our everyday lives.

Course Mum, Sis and I have a plane to catch in 8 days again so I'll look forward to that now!

Jenny xx

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Gotta Go...

I've a plane to catch.

I'm going to be absent for the next 7 days as I'll be busy lounging around the pool, sipping sangria and eating Paella in Benidorm, Spain with all the troops.

We head off to the airport in about 2 hours. That's my one gripe about the whole thing, we're having to fly from Newcastle instead of a Scottish airport as they want to charge an extra £400 for the pleasure of going from a local airport. Daylight robbery!!

So it's a nice 2 hour drive to England on what is the shittiest road in the world..the A1.

Everything is ready to go...except the things I've forgotten and won't remember about till I'm on the plane..why is that always the case?

Anyway tickets, money, passports are all accounted for so that'll do for me!

"We're all off to sunny Spain y viva Espania"

Have a great week everyone.

Jenny xx

Happy Birthday...

To my gorgeous niece Kennedy.

She was 10 yesterday which quite frankly is bloody scary cause that's a decade and it means I'm getting old.

She was a lovely baby and has grown into a beautiful (not so little) girl. I think she gets her good looks from her Godmother which of course would be me! Yeah right.

Here she is with her little brother Dean at a recent wedding.

She was due to have a big disco for all her friends to celebrate reaching 10 but instead gave it up to head to Spain for a weeks holiday with all the family. Good choice Kennedy!

Anyway Happy Birthday Toots.

(ps - I promise not to mention snogging Jamie Tubby....oops)

(Auntie) Jenny xx

Plans Afoot...

I'm currently looking into a wee business thingy at the moment. It is all going well so far. Fingers crossed that the accounts for the place I'm intrested in are looking good. If everything goes to plan I could be my own boss within a few months.

I'll keep you posted!

Jenny xx

I'm Having Technical Issues...

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Monday, October 10, 2005

Make Mine A Guinness...

Speaking of The Match...

I know I'm over 21.
I know I'm a Mum.
I know I should be past this sort of thing but one of the celebs taking part was Patrick McGuiness (comedian, writer and Peter Kay sidekick) and I am now besotted!

Yes I know it's utterly childish to still have celebrity crushes but who cares????

Tall, dark, handsome and funny...I can't resist!!

*Please note these pictures are purely for my own satisfaction!

Jenny xx

Sky One Is To Blame....

Part of the reason for my slacking on this blog has been Sky One's fault. They have been showing a programme called The Match all week which is basically about a bunch of celebrities being trained in Footie to take on a bunch of ex-pro's.

I was totally addicted for a number of reasons. Firstly I like my Footie anyway but mainly because it was full of lots of young men in shorts and no shirts with odd bits of ass flashing for good measure!

Alas it's now all over - the celebs were beaten 2-0 in the live match last night, I arsed a bottle of wine and watched engrossed...not the ball so much but the thighs!

Jenny xx

The Google Game...

Tried the google game ross was talking about last night and found it to be a bit too scary for my liking!

I stuck in a few names from my family to see what happened starting with me...

Jenny Shaw is a character. - Yep that's gotta be true!
Jenny Shaw is a virgin. - That's true as well (cough cough)
Jennifer Shaw is a single Mum. - Omen for the future?

My Sis...
Gillian Shaw is a fully trained mediator. - My Sis could start a fight with herself!

My Better Half...
Geoff Mitchell is a reciprocal spaceman. - Bloody space cadet anyway!

My Dad...
Samuel Shaw is lecturer. - Indeed I heard many during his lifetime!
"Choose something to add to the grave of Sam Shaw" also popped up which is a bit wierd!

My Mum....
Heather Shaw is a bizarre piece of surrealism with erotic elements. - What???????
Heather Shaw is just a nice girl. - Yeah I'll give her that one!

I did my son and daughter as well but as my Daughter has a really unusual surname nothing was found for her, my son though had the following result...
Jake Mitchell is a dangerous vision of manhood. - What can I say to that?? He gets it from his Father!

Jenny xx


Is what I have been regarding the blog this last week. Too busy reading other peoples to write on my own. Well no more. 'm back and I'll be (hopefully) blogging for the next few days on and off...assuming of course I can be bothered.

Jenny xx

Monday, October 03, 2005

Competition Chaos...

Ross decided to give a prize to the person who became his 10,000th hit on the cnut blog. The lucky winner was to receive a t-shirt specially designed by him.

Well I already have more than enough t-shirts to be going on with so I'm not to gutted to have missed out on the big prize - Congrats to Karen who was the lucky winner by the way - I've decided I may just do something similar.

I know exactly what the winner's prize would be. It would need to be someone close to Edinburgh that wins though so I could deliver the prize cause the postage costs to send a 5 year old and an 8 year old through the post would be expensive!!

Jenny xx