Thursday, June 30, 2005

New Kid On The Block...

There's a new blog that I need to share with you.

Joining the ranks of all us other's is Steven. Steven is Ross' cousin and lives in South Africa.

Go have a look....

Jenny xx

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Of Course On The Negative...

The sun can be very dangerous, especially to your skin.

My friend Lisa has found that out to her cost. She moved to Oz 5 years ago...

You have been warned!!!

Jenny xx

Sunny Skies...

Oh the total joy of having 4 days of lovely weather back to back! Well seen I'm Scottish eh? The sun is shining and for once it's actually really hot as well!!

To celebrate I have just had my first Barbeque of the season. Of course I will now be having them rain, hail or shine as Mum just bought me a spanking new "Aussie" style BBQ, it's massive and very go with it I have treated myself to a new gazebo with fancy netting, some bamboo torches, some new solar lighting and some new candle I'm all set for summer now.

So what's the odds it will rain for a week now???

Jenny xx

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Who Needs A Soap Opera....

So I'm chatting away to Ross last night about my life and he decides he's going to call me "River City" from now on. Apparently I have a life like a soap opera!

Now personally I consider myself and my life to be pretty much the same as everyone else's I mean I haven't experienced anymore drama than the average person. However, in view of Rosco's comment I have decided it's only fair to lay out my experiences before you all and you can judge for yourself.

Where to begin though? Well my childhood was very normal, no divorces, murders, affairs etc. I wasn't a drug addicted teenager and I have never had a drink problem. There was no incest, abuse of any form nor did I ever sleep with one of my sisters boyfriends!! There is a possibility we have slept with the same man though but not at the same time!

My adult life has been a little different I suppose...

I got married and had a baby within 5 months, I indulged in a few flings while married but no sex and nothing serious! I did meet a man while married who lit up my world and 5 weeks after meeting him I realised what love was and left my Husband to be with him. He was also married and he too left his Wife to be with me. We moved into together within 7 weeks of first meeting and 4 weeks later I was pregnant...

We found out at one point that my Maternal Grandmother was adopted and so a bit portion of our "family" turned out not to be after all...

Turned out my Great Grandmother gave my Gran away to one of her friends, no legal adoption, just a very intresting gift!

I have a Great Aunt who has two sons, both alive and both called James...

It was long thought that my Dad and his cousin (one of the above named James'!) may well have been brothers as they were so Grandfather dispelled this to us about a a year ago saying he did sleep with his wife's sister but was not my Uncle's Dad!

My other Great Aunt had a son who was raised for 20 years to think he was her Brother...

My Dad had 4 step brothers and sister's all of whom spent their childhood in care before being "rescued" by my Grandfather and brought to live with him and his new wife.

My Step Gran spent a period in an institution with suicidal tendancies and depression follwoing her divorce from her first Husband.

My Uncle Andrew had a son called Andrew from his first marriage, then married a woman whose ex husband was called Andrew and who also had a son called Andrew from her first marriage, My Uncle Andrew's son then had a son and called him Andrew...

My Auntie had post-natal depression so bad she was institutionalised...

My Uncle died in an accident falling 10 feet off a ladder...

My Dad was lifted by the police and fined for breach of the peace after refusing to give his name to a police officer who asked for it...he instead spent 10 hours in a cell repeating his army rank and number...

My Dad once tried to chat up my Auntie on a train while in the army totally unaware that she was married to a member of his family...

My ex Husband still to this day does not who his Dad was...I suspect his Mother doesn't know either!...she has refused to tell him until he old enough to ex husband is 43!

I was born with a paralysed arm on the right side, allegedly I should be left handed because of this, I'm not I'm right handed...however I can move my right arm into positions other's don't seem to be able to and I have no reflexes on my right hand side at all...

My son was born blue, or flat as medics call it...he had stopped breathing inside the womb during labour, he spent 10 days in special care and has thankfully had no side effects at all...

My sister's children both have health complaints which are potentially life threatening, one is allergic to nuts the other has epilepsy...

My Dad dropped down dead out of the blue...My Grandparents died with 3 weeks of each other...All 3 of them died within 24 days...

My Mother in Law had a heart attack seconds before we walked in to hospital to see her, she was resusitated but after being on life support for 3 days she passed away...

I have a step daughter who is 17 next month...she lives in an area of Edinburgh with a bad reputation so potentially I could be a step gran soon...

I live in a street where everything is a drama and everyone knows everyone else's business...

So that about sums it up, well at least what I can remember...

"River City" or perfectly normal? As Davina would say "You Decide"!!!

Jenny xx

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Big Brother (Part 3)...

So we're now 4 weeks in and it's about time I had a say again me thinks so let's see...

Anthony - Still not bad too look at but he's a bit thick, I quite like him though but wish he's spend less time with Saskia and Maxwell...could get involved in things he shouldn't...hope he stays though.

Craig - Love when he is camp and can be really funny but he is sucking up to Max and Sas far too much. Still...I hope he lasts the distance.

Derek - If you vote to evict him I swear to god I'll hunt you down! I love him...he's hysterical even though he's a pompous twat...his comments crack me up..I'm gutted he'll probably go soon.

Kemal - He/she's actually growing on me...shock!! Has had many a funny moment lately and his Mariah/Whitney comment was bloody brilliant!

Makosi - Mmmm...devious...twisted...nah I don't like her. End of.

Maxwell - What a shame he has got so involved with Saskia. I've gone off him totally whenever he's around her. On his own though (rare as it is) he's great. Fuck about, Sas is a bad influence on him.

Roberto - Looks fine every eveiction night in his shirts. A bit to temperamental for his own good. Think he will go this week.

Saskia - The woman who gives other women a bad name. Using Max as her puppy. Two faced, bitchy and a complete pain in the arse. I detest her.

Science - Holy fuck how much do you want to punch him right in the teeth. Can't fucking wait till he goes. My Mum is more street than him. Wank.

Vanessa - Get in with the maggots you useless creature. Never shows an ounce of guilt or regret about anything.

So there's the update. As you can see I love all the women in the house (yeah right). I tell you this if a man doesn't win it I'll eat my hat.

Jenny xx

Ideal Mate...

I had a wee chat last night with darling Ross about his quest to find the perfect woman. A few must have qualities were thrown back and forth for a few minutes in cyberspace and I suggested he think about it and get it down on his blog so we can all see for ourselves what sort of human (if indeed it turns out to be that) he is looking for.

With his sense of humour and poetic phrase I'm sure it would make great reading and it got me thinking...what is the ideal mate? I mean I have a mate but is he the ideal? Did I like millions of others settle for less than I should have? So I give it some thought...

On the purely physical side my perfect mate would be taller than me, broad shouldered, with lovely eyes and nice hands. His smile would light up his face and being picky he'd be dark haired with chest hair preferably!

On the more serious side he'd be able to protect me, make me feel safe, make me laugh, make me comfortable, be able to talk to me about everyday things and also about important things, he'd be able to cry, he'd definitely have to have a brain and be able to use it, he'd be brave enough to say what he thinks but sensitive enough to know when not to say anything, he'd be able to let me know he loved me without words, he'd inspire me, educate me in things and cherish me. He'd be someone I'd want to have as a friend, he'd be passionate, strong and rough yet tender and calm.

Oh and he need's to have a manly smell (stale sweat is nice...not b.o...and yes I mean it!!) and he'd need to be able to keep me in shoes!!

So there I think I have ideal least for now....

And as I look to the mate I have now who has kept me awake all night snoring, who burps, farts and moans, I think...he actually does tick nearly all the boxes and with that I consider myself a lucky woman....and trot off to polish my shoe collection!!!

Jenny xx

Lucky Numbers...

Last night I ventured off to play Bingo.

Not big Bingo hall Bingo but Bowling club old dears Bingo. You can read from that I was back at my work albeit in a social capacity!

It was an experience let me tell you. Eileen (one of the other barmaids) and I decided to go for a bit of a laugh. She's a Bingo pro, I'm a novice. Anyway with threatening talk from some of my friends about going to a big hall to play soon I thought I'd get some practice in...

So I buy my books, get out the pen and think I'm set. Oh no...apparently you must use a dabber to look like a pro...Eileen duly offers one from her collection!

The first few games fly past and I'm not really into it at all but then 3 games in and I'm waiting on one number...ooh! It was not to be though! Same thing happens on the next few games...waiting on one number but nothing.

Each time "house" is called the other players (average age 70) let out a groan. I'm starting to enjoy the seriousness of it all and the little quirks that are involved...

Half time comes and the punters refill their lemonades (they don't affects their concentration!). I realise I am one of only 2 people in the hall not wearing glasses!!

Second half begins and again it's the wait on one number for a few now I'm actually getting pissed that mine doesn't get called! I'm getting quite into this now...I'm waiting on one number again...56...the anticipation is getting too heart beat is palms are sweaty...adrenaline pumping...then suddenly "5 and 6, 56"...."house" I shout. I've won the line!!

The regulars let out their groan...there's comments about how I'm not even a regular...they're not happy at a stranger winning, even if they do all know me from the bar! The card gets checked...winner!!! I am given my winnings of £2. Hurrah!! And so the evening draws to a close.

The excitement dies down and everyone troops off home.

I don't think old people should be allowed to play Bingo. All that excitment surely can't be good for their hearts!!

I'm not sure if I will be repeating my experience or not...I'm not sure I could handle playing for decent money in a big Bingo hall...then again as the old ladies said last pay your money and take your maybe I'll buy a dabber just in case!!

Jenny xx

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Farewell To Nursery...

Today was my 4 year old's last day at Nursery.

He is chuffed. He is now officially a big boy going to school.

The staff threw a graduation party for them and they were given graduation certificates as well as a gift of new pencil cases for school all hand decorated with their names on!

So in 7 weeks and 6 days time 4 year old (who will by then be 5 year old) will be a school boy.

As he is my baby I can't decide whether I'm happy about this or not! On one hand I'll be glad to get him off to school but on the other hand I'm sad that he's old enough to be going!

Jenny xx

Monday, June 20, 2005

Goldfish Escapade...

So having lost Freddie the Goldfish and being the kind of mother I am I headed to Pets At Home to surprise 8 year old by buying her a replacement fish.

I wish I hadn't bothered.

I don't know if any of you have been to buy a Goldfish latelybut let me tell you this, it would be easier to buy heroin or indeed wipe out 40-odd billion of third world debt!

"I would like to buy a goldfish please" said I. Simple request really ain't it? Oh no.

Apparently Goldfish are protected under animal law and you must now under go a series of very important questions before you can be considered fit enough to home one.

Your Goldfish owning history is taken, the size and shape of your tank dictates which type you can buy, you need to prepare your water in advance by at least 24 hours, it needs to be de-chlorinated water, you need an algae reduction tablet, you must purchase an ornament to allow for sufficient shade, the fish must be fully rested for 24 hours before feeding it...and best of all "a goldfish is a big responsibility and we always ask that you go home and think it over for a day before deciding if you can commit to it, if you still want to proceed we will then supply you with everything you need and 24 hours later you can come and get your fish"

Bloody hell. I mean Boxer dog, now that was a big commitment, but a fish? It's not like I need to walk it everyday or get it bloody neutered!

So I am without Goldfish as I am in thinking mode over whether I can commit or not.

I explained the above to 8 year old who is now also in thinking mode...she's thinking she'd like a rabbit instead!

I can't see it happening...Imagine what the test will be like for that?

Jenny xx

Freddie The Goldfish...

It is with deep sorrow that I need to announce the passing of Freddie The Goldfish. He died sometime between 3pm and 9pm yesterday.

The cause of death is not yet clear but Freddie was found lying like a stone at the bottom of the tank, suggesting something bad happened as everyone knows Goldfish normally float at the top.

Rumours that he was attacked by Maisie the mad boxer bitch have been dismissed as he would not have been in the bowl at the time of death but instead in said Boxer's tummy!

Freddie leaves behind him a family including his owner the now inconsolable 8 year old. Our thoughts are with her at this terrible time!

The loss of Freddie has brought back the painful memory of losing both George and Mildred (the previous goldfish!), both of whom also died in tragic circumstances. George, aged 4 at the time, was the victim of domestic abuse when he was savagely eaten and attacked by Mildred late one night. Mildred who had survived for over 6 years was murdered by Nikki while on holiday at her home. Cause of death was never discovered although it was believed she was fed to death.

Oh well...I thought we'd at least get a couple of week out of him not 24 hours!! Now though we have fish food and an empty tank...guess what's coming next???

Pet shop anyone???

Jenny xx

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Father's Day...

I had intended to sleep right through it!

However, like all good children on Father's Day I dutifully made the trip to see my Dad. Well you have to don't you. Even if visiting him is the last thing you want to be doing.

I bought him flowers...a bit unmanly I know but I didn't see the point in buying him trousers or a jumper. Dad didn't thank me for the flowers but I know he liked them, at least I think he did.

I gave him his card. I didn't write it, just left it in the cellophane and I blew him a kiss rather than giving him a real one. Dad didn't mind.

I sat beside him and chatted for while, mostly updating him with all the gossip he might have missed, although I'm sure my sister who had already visited would have filled him in. He listened though while I repeated it all to him.

I laughed with him when I told him about Dean's sports day, at least I think he laughed.

I told him about my other half hurting his back and he seemed concerned, at least I think he was.

Then when it was time to go I said goodbye and told him I'd see him next week. Dad said nothing at all.

So I got in the car and headed home. Wishing all the way that Dad had been able to say Goodbye back to me...I'm glad I went to visit him. I only wish it had been at his house like last year instead of at his grave.

It is 11 months ago to the day since he died.

Happy Fathers Day Dad, I love you.
Jenny xx

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Well Done Wee Man...

Congratulations to my nephew.

It was his sports day yesterday and off we went to cheer him on.

Let me set the scene a bit here before I go nephew is a clumsy child (well that's what my sister says on her numerous trips to casualty with him!!). He normally runs looking backwards and will fall over nothing. He really does have difficulty staying upward and avoiding trouble.

However...yesterday he had more winning stickers than I would ever have thought possible! He rattled through the obstacle race, egg and spooned good style and although his space hopper race (what??) and his sack race did leave a bit to be desired...he left the field yesterday well out in front of all his classmates.

I think he's been kidding us all on with this clumsy child act!

Anyway a wee message to the boy himself...

Deanie, you were a wee star. Good Job.

Kids...always a surprise eh?

Jenny xx

It's Father's Day Tommorrow...

Wake me up when it's over.

Jenny xx

Family Day Out...

Well the weatherman said today summer was here. It was warm outside although not too sunny but what the hell thought I let's have a family day out!

So we did.

Off to Aberdour we went to Silver Sands beach. Now it may not have seemed nice enough to go to the beach but let me assure you it was hoochin'. There were all the hardy Scots layed upon their travel rugs, bucket and spades a plenty and enough soggy sandwiches to feed a third world country.

It was great. The kids played in the (probably hugely contaminated) water, adults lay reading books, Grannies drank Tea from thier Thermos.

The sun had the decency to break through for a good spell and by early evening we packed up and left. We decided to continue our day with a wee trip further along the coast to Burntisland. The shows were there as were most of the population of Glasgow, the Weigie women donned in the latest market stall fashions and flip flops and the Weigie men sported their new Matalan holiday Polo Shirts (Weigie teenagers wore the compulsory Burberry attire).

The kids took to the rides, We got robbed (not for just felt that way as our hands were never out our pocket giving the Gypo's money!), we ate Ice Cream and 8 year old won a Fish! Just what I need! Anyway I'd like to welcome Freddie (as she's named him!) to the family!

A fish supper each and a bottle of Irn Bru and back on the road again homeward bound.

So that's our day trip over (and most likely the Scottish summer!) and we're all back home again in one piece (always a bonus when kids are involved!) happy and sunburned!

You know what? It may not have been a fancy day out but it's days like this - out with your Mum and Dad to the seaside - that you remember when you grow up. I have many good memories of trips like this with my folks!

Hope your day was a good one.

Jenny xx

Thursday, June 16, 2005


I have a temper. I've got red hair so it's to be expected. I'm very good at controlling it though and it is few and far between that it really raises it's head.

I must admit though that I have realised that although I may take a while to explode I find it happening a little more often than it used to..I'm not sure why!

Maybe it's because there are more things in my life (or should that be people?!) who annoy me, maybe it's because I'm busier than I have been before and more stressed or maybe it's because I'm getting older and realise that my time here on this earth is ticking away and that therefore I no longer have the time to waste putting up with arseholes!

Whatever the reason..I'm quite enjoying this new more volatile me. I actually sometimes enjoy losing it...just saying all those things that are in my head out loud to someone who's pissed me right off. I last lost my temper on Sunday night when I told my boss to "fuck right off!" amongst other insults and remarks I had long kept to myself!

I felt much better for getting it out!

It's a definite probability that I get much of my temper from my Dad. He too had the knack of keeping it in check for so long then exploding into a massive fury...many will testify to that!

I will try to remain in control of my temper but have resigned myself to letting it go when the need arises. I've realised it's a good way to clear the air and the stress...of course people on the receiving end may not realise I'm doing it in a good cause!

Jenny xx


I got an e-mail today from one of my mates. The subject read "For Jenny". All that was contained inside was: "still here, still alive, speak soon"

I get little notes like this from her when neither of us have made contact for a few weeks. It's her way of telling me she's still about. We don't have as much time to spend with each other anymore, what with kids and jobs and stuff but I know all about her life and she mine. We still gossip like we did years ago when we did have the time, telling each other the scandal and drama's. Not bad given we haven't seen each other in 5 years!

Thing is it's dawned on me it doesn't matter if your friends are on the long as they are somewhere.

I have friends in all forms, from aquaintances to true friends. All of them offering something different. The trick to friendship is knowing the difference between the types of friends you have, knowing when to let one go and when to compromise your feelings and put up with their shit because they're worth holding on to.

I look at it this way...

An aquaintance will tell you you look good in something you don't.
A real friend will tell you that you look like shit.
A true friend wouldn't let you buy it in the first place.

An aquaintance will ask for the gory details if you get arrested.
A real friend will pick you up from the police station when you get released.
A true friend will be sitting beside you in the cells saying "now we're in trouble!!"

Here are a few quotes I found while pondering the friendship thing:

"Your friend is the one who knows all about you, and still likes you." -- Elbert Hubbard

"True friendship is like good health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost" - Charles Caleb Colton (1825)

"A true friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else." - Len Wein

And the final word on friendship goes to one of the heroes of the 20th century...

"When the end comes, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." - Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968)

Jenny xx

Sports Day...

So it's that time of year again. Schools everywhere are having their annual sports days.

My kids school was due to have it today... Along all us parents trotted for the opening at 10am. We duly took our seats and got our programme of events (it's a posh sports day!) and sat awaiting it to kick off. Then it rained...

So before it began, sports day was over. We were all sent home and our kids sent back indoors without so much as seeing a hula hoop layed out for an obstacle race.

There's a lot of talk at the moment that education chief's want to ban sports days as they think it discriminates against the kids who are no good at sports and teaches a bad lesson in competitiveness to kids.

Bullshit! There's nothing wrong with being competitive and anyway will they do away with maths because it discriminates against kids who are hopeless with numbers? I don't think so.

I happen to like sports day. I loved it as a child...mainly because I was good at sports and I love it as a parent. I have a friend who's child excels all year and we are constantly being told about it! Sports day though is a different matter..her child is it's the one day I get to rub it in as 8 year old normally does well. (she gets it from her Mother!)

Of course, the parents are more competitive than the kids at times! In my neck of the woods sports day is as much for the kids as the parents. It's compulsory to attend, almost every Mum has made a purchase from Next in the form of a new tracksuit and camcorders are seen in all quarters! In fact it's so bad the parents race each other for seats to watch their little darlings!

It's all been re-scheduled for the first dry roll on the good weather and let the games begin..of course everyone has seen 8 year old's new Next tracksuit now...shit! Where did I put that Next Directory??

Jenny xx

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Self Employed...

Went to visit Sister and Boyfriend yesterday. They were in Amsterdam over the weekend and by all accounts had a good time despite Boyfriend being struck down with some kind of virus.

The virus must have been quite nasty as Boyfriend has had to take the last three days off work which is quite shocking as Boyfriend is a bit of a workaholic. In fact Boyfriend is always at work!

Boyfriend is self employed and he has always taken a bit of stick about work from us nutters in the family.

Last night there was much hilarity by me over the fact he was off sick.

I wondered if he was going to have a word with himself when he got back about him being off. If he had phoned himself to let him know he wasn't coming in. Indeed if he's off too long would he discipline himself?

Just wondered.

Jenny xx

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Congratulations To 8 Year Old!!

8 year old has been fretting a bit since Friday over a big maths exam she had today.

We did the revision and yesterday she sat the "practice" test. She came home really excited because she passed the "practice" getting only 2 wrong.

Today she sat the actual test and came home to say she had passed it! She is very pleased with herself, and I am a proud parent!

Well done 8 year old!!!

Jenny xx (I mean Mum!)

Big Brother (Part 2)

Right I've had a couple of weeks to check them out. The initial boring bit is over and I'm now a proper viewer...This means I watch BB on E4 until the early hours!

I now feel qualified to give me opinion on the here it is:

Anthony - Quite like him. Not to lairy but intresting enough and not too bad to look at which helps.

Craig - Irritating me ever so slightly. I'm not anti gay by any means but he's trying too hard to be Brian from BB2.

Derek - Loving him totally, which is wierd cause I hate fox hunting and the tories! His voice is fab and so are his words of wisdom!

Lesley - I used to think she was ok...and kind of still do. She looks and acts like trailer trash but who says thats a bad thing? Didn't do Britney any harm! She needs to stop pulling at her obviously too small tops in a bid to cover her jordanesque boobs though it's getting on my tits!

Kemal - I want to bitch slap that little irritating fucker so much. I can't stand him. I cannot believe that his parents don't know he is gay. Piss Off! Are his parents blind and deaf? He is an obnoxious, rude, ignorant little twat.

Makosi - She's another one in need of a good punch. She's in bed and BB asks her to go to the diary room so she puts on her shades. lipgloss, earrings and high heels to go, so she looks good for the cameras darling! Vain, Vain, Vain. Hopefully when more leave she'll settle into being a half decent character though! There is potential.

Maxwell - Still tops with me just now.

Roberto - Nice eye candy and a great accent. Can be a bit nippy though. Getting a bit stroppy but he's latin so I'm allowing it. Oh and did I mention he's easy on the eye!

Sam - I would take her make up bag and shove right up her...and that laugh...oh my god. She has got to go.

Saskia - She's doing alright. Obviously does fancy Maxwell even though she says she doesn't. Might be a bit too Kate Lawler for me...we'll see.

Science - Immature, silly little boy. Doesn't understand english, can't have a conversation without shouting and doesn't listen. He's nippy.

Vanessa - who?

So there you have it, my opinions of the freaks in this years BB.

Jenny xx

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

It's Not Florida But...

The sun is shining in Edinburgh. The birds are singing. There are flowers in bloom in my garden and butterflies floating around. The dog is lying in the sun. I have been in the garden, magazine in hand and sunglasses on, cool drink to quench my thirst.

It may not be 90 degrees and I may not have a pool in the garden in which I can lay on a lilo and float but the sunshine has cheered me up no end.

Jenny xx

Slimming Pills....Aye Right!

My friend Nikki has been internet shopping. Nothing out of the ordinary about fact if Nikki wasn't internet shopping I'd be really worried. However this time she's bought herself some slimming pills.

She showed me them...quite excited about it, and sure enough there they are looking for all the world like the placebos they will be along with a little diet plan telling you what to eat which is basically the same as your average healthy diet which we should all be eating anyway.

"They're supposed to be really good" says Nikki. "They have a little diet plan telling you what to eat"

"Yes they do" says I "It's telling you to eat healthily, fish, veggies and fruit"

"I know, it seems quite good" says Nikki

I feel the need at this point to explain to Nikki that the people buying these "pills" are going to be fat people and that if you are fat you obviously don't eat very healthily so changing your diet to fish, veggies and fruit instead of pies, chocolate and crisps will be what makes you lose weight not some "pill".

"Yes but these are from America and they're a big thing over there and Americans are all fat" Says Nikki

"Yep" I sigh "So if these pills work then, and they're so popular in America how come the Americans are still fat?"

"Oh" says Nikki and laughs.

I rest my case. Honestly...

Jenny xx

How The Hell?

As you'll know I am Mum to 4 year old and 8 year old, this can be tricky at the best of times but at this time of year it's just a bloody nightmare.

Normally I am a working Mum, out of need not greed, but this year I am not. Thank God!! How any parent is supposed to hold down a job at this time of year is beyond me! How the hell I've managed it in previous years is a mystery.

The reason for my disbelief is's June and the end of term is fast approaching.

In the run up to the end of term, there is in my diary the following:

Nursery Sports Day, School Sports Day, Pre-School Health Checks, Pre-School Immunisations, Primary One Induction Day, Primary One Cirriculum Day, Leaving Nursery Assessment Day, Moving To School Leaving Day, End Of term Assembly.

Any parent will tell you...missing sports day is an unforgivable, punishible crime that will leave your child mentally scarred and will make other parents talk about you.

In a normal year when I am working that little list of "must do's" would have accounted to 6 days off work! Christ!

Of course us Mum's need to deal with these things and we do. I wonder though how many Dad's will be at sports day and taking time off to attend all these other "really need to go" events????

Still at least it'll soon be over...2 and a half weeks till the end of term.

And then 7 weeks holidays. Fucking fantastic.

Jenny xx

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Big Brother...

Christ what a bunch of complete freaks...well most of them.

Obviously the rules this year were that if your gay or have unfeasibly large tits your in!

Frankly I always hate BB in the first few weeks. I do try though to pick a few I like so I can join in at the early part. I'm liking Maxwell a bit and Lesley (huge breasts) is also ok so far.

Next year I am going to audition. I will simply say "Hello BB, I am totally fucking normal, I am straight and a Mum and fairly similar to the millions who watch your bloody show so therefore nearly all your viewers will identify with me, which in turn means that because I am relatively normal, they will vote for me and I will win".

I can almost hear Davina..."Jenny I'm coming to get you!"

Of course my mate Ross would be the ideal contestant...Maybe I can persuade him to audition next year!

Jenny xx

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Dear Mr Blair...

I backed your decision to go to war in Iraq, to liberate people and give them their freedom and a chance at a better life, one with hope.

I am asking you to continue your stance by ending world poverty and promoting free trade to allow third world countries that chance to be liberated, have freedom, a chance of a better life and hope. You have the power to help Mr Blair.

Don't let me down.

Jenny xx

Home Again...Boo!!!

Well that was that.

I have returned from 2 glorious weeks in sunny Florida.

I am now depressed as always at hiving to leave it behind and return home. Christ why are our houses so bloody small??? Why is our weather so shit?? Why is our life here so hectic??? Why is everything so bloody expensive here???

I miss the sun, the pool, the people, the beautiful houses, the low cost goods, the laid back life.

I am utterly pissed off.

Only one thing for it...I think I'll need to book a holiday!!!

In fact bugger it I'm going to buy a villa in Kissimmee.

Jenny xx