Sunday, December 24, 2006
Thursday, December 21, 2006
It's been quite a news item in the last week or so. Headline news and all over the press...it even made the headlines whilst we were in Minneapolis "Britian has a serial killer on the loose" said the reporter in the States...along with the usual sensationalism.
What bugs me is that in every mention of these women's murders there is a need to tell us all over and over again that they were prostitutes. Why is that I wonder? If these woman had been of a different occupation would be repeatedly be told what it was? Perhaps but then again perhaps not...
Let's look past the fact that these women were prostitutes and remember that they were also someone's daughters or someones girlfriends or someones grandchild or someones sisters. Theres a human side to this story that is far more important than the fact these women sold sex. I hope the police have got their man...and hope he's put away for a long time..not for killing prostitutes but for killing women.
This is the other side of Christmas (I hate typing the word Christmas cause I type that fast it always comes out as Chrostmas...bugger whoever put the "O" next to the "I" on a keyboard!).
The shops are bloody heaving. Spaces are like gold dust. Queues are massive and we're paying full price for shit that will be reduced by 50% in 4 days time.
Every time I think I've sent my final card another one drops through the door from someone I've forgotten. Bloody cards...30-odd for his classmates, 30-odd for her classmates, special one's for Mums, Dads, Boyfriends, Grannies, Sons, Daughters, the ones for the neighbours, one's to old friends now far away, one's to the rest of the family, one's to work mates and one's to people you met on holiday once and have never seen again. What a bloody hassle. I'm sending cards to people I never see from one years end to the other and to people I don't even like much!
Then there's wrapping...sellotape sticking in the wrong places, paper that you measure by eye and find is too bloody small to go round whatever it is you want to wrap.
As for food?? Why do we still insist on shopping like there's a fecking siege coming? Buying up tubes upon tubes of pringles and tubs upon tubs of dips because your Auntie might pop round unannounced and you need to have nibbles in? Any other time she'd settle for a biscuit with her tea!
It's all nonsense...all of it.
Bah fecking humbug.
The kids and I went out tonight and got a few extra bits and pieces for Better Half and in doing so concluded the 2006 Christmas shop! Nae luck to those of you who will be battling it out for car parking spaces in shopping centres or for the last remaining bag of sprouts over the next few days!!
Tomorrow morning I'll be getting tooled up with sellotape (real stuff cause the cheap stuff is worse than hopeless!!), scissors and gift wrap and finishing the wee bit wrapping I have to do...the kids break up at 12 noon...then it's tacky Christmas films and a feeling of general excitement and anticipation for the next 2 and half days!!
It's dinner at ours this year. This is our first in-the-house dinner for 2 years. Mum, Sis and her troops are all coming to stay on Christmas Eve like last year so all 8 of us can open our pressies together...it'll be choatic, noisy and messy but damn it that's what it's all about! What better day to let the kids off the lead a bit?? Or for that matter your Mother?? Mine's tends to get as excited as the kids on Christmas morning!
So roll on Sunday night cause I'm ready to go!
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
This time round he's after a tattoo of the number 13. 13 is a number Better Half likes...his birthday is on the 13th and he see's it as a lucky number for him. We've spent the last few days debating as to where he should put his new art work.
It's also got me thinking as well. I have 3 tattoos. All quite small and in places where they ain't too obvious! I quite like tattoos but I'm not a fan of women having huge ones or putting them in the wrong places...I hate it when you see a girl with a massive one on her forearm for example. Mine's are visible if I want to show you them and that's how I like it.
Like most people with a tattoo I have become a bit bored with my first one. I got it on a whim. I was on the bus with my Sister one day and we went past the tattoo shop and suddenly said "let's get a tattoo"...30 minutes later it was done! It's alright...a small dolphin to my right shoulder but it looks kinda tired now so I've decided to get it covered over.
I want something that will remind me of my Dad and mean something to me as well. So after a few years of toying with various ideas I've decided to settle for a guardian angel. It fits in with all my criteria...I'm a believer in guardian angels and reckon Dad is my angel now...always with me looking over my shoulder. So it will tie in nicely that my guardian angel will be situated on my shoulder.
Trouble is I couldn't find a design I like anywhere...I've looked in books, tattoo shops from Inverness to America and trawled the web. I have now found 2 that I quite like. I say quite like becuase they're still not 100% what I want but they're close enough to be altered to suit my needs by an artist. Here's the two I've seen...
This one is from a t-shirt for the band Stone Sour...fecked if I know who they are but I spotted the t-shirt front and liked the angel!!
This is the second...Blogger won't let me make it any bigger...it's quite hard to see and bizarrely was found in Woolworths on the cover of the DVD for the above film!
Both have a ribbon detail to allow for writing...I like that idea although what to write on them is still up for debate. Something incorporating bits from both would be nice. Although I'm leaning a bit more towards the second one...what do you think??
Why do I need to be so picky? Why can't I just want a simple 13 like he does?? Maybe it's becuase I'm a girl and therefore everything needs to be a drama!
Well that's me back from another trip across the pond.
The shops in Minneapolis have less stock in than they did when I arrived. Mum, Sis and I did Scotland proud and if there was an olympic gold for shopping I reckon we'd have won it! We hit the stores like wee Scottish hurricanes.
I landed back in Glasgow with exactly One Dollar & 16 Cents to my name...I always believe that if you come home skint you've done the job well!
That picture encapsulates the whole mood of the 5 days...dump the bags and head out for more! What a bloody mess!
I added 3 pairs of shoes to my collection and brought back another 6 pairs for the rest of my troops...well when you're getting Timberland boots for $9.99 (yes $9.99 a pair, that's about £6 as opposed to the £60 the same ones are in a shop about 4 miles from my house!!) and K Swiss trainers for $22.99 it would be rude not to buy them!
We didn't just shop though...oh no we also saw the sights...we saw the worlds largest gingerbread house, every bit of it made from edible goodies. Mind you it was slap bang in the middle of the Mall so I suppose you can't really call it sight seeing!
So with Minneapolis out the way for another year all attention is now on getting ready for Santa coming...It's all very well shopping for the stuff but wrapping it will take some doing!
Monday, December 11, 2006
Yep it's that time of year again when Mum, Wee Sis and I head over the pond to indulge in a bit of child-free, man-free retail therapy.
It'll take the now usual form...flight from Glasgow to Reykjavik, a few hours in Iceland and the customary trip to the Blue Lagoon before heading off to Minneapolis. No doubt we'll still marvel at the fact we leave Iceland at 5.20pm and get to Minne at 5.31pm! It's tradition. As is being in the bar by 8pm with a Vodka Cranberry in hand!
The Blue Lagoon on a typical December afternoon...the sight that awaits us tomorrow!
There has been one slight change to our plans this year though. We will be staying at a different hotel this time round. I've a feeling this may lead to a bit of chaos where driving is concerned as we were quite familar with the routes needed to all the major shopping areas from our old hotel! Still it ain't a holiday unless you get lost!
The majority of our time will be spent in The Mall Of America browsing the 397 stores and up at the Outlet Mall wandering round the various areas of stores. There will be time for a wander round Downtown to take in the delights of the department stores and slaver over Jimmy Choo's and Juicy handbags. There may even be time to fit in the manicure and pedicure...well with all that walking your feet need a treat!
I get excited just thinking about entering that door!
So I bid you farewell friends. It's now 2.05pm and I haven't even started to get ready to go....saying that how long does it take to throw a few pairs of knickers, your make up, one pair of jeans, one t-shirt and a pair of pj's into a case? Anything else I need I'll buy when I get there!
Cheerio! Stay safe till I return!
On Saturday at 6pm the statement finally arrived. It was brief and to the point...
"Heart Of Midlothian FC and Steven Pressley have reached an amicable agreement to part company with effect from today"
And there in those 19 words the hopes of any reconcilliation were dashed.
Steven signed for Hearts in the summer of 1998. I doubt any of us realised back then what an important signing this would turn out to be. Elvis went on to become the backbone of the Hearts defence, the man who wore the Captain's armband and wore it well. A man who drew respect by the bucket load from not only the Jambo family but from many a neutral. Steven Pressley was, and I'm sure will continue to be, a shining example of how a professional footballer should behave. A true gentleman and one never to busy to stop for the fans, to chat to the kids, sign the autographs and pose for the pictures.
The writing had been on the wall for almost 6 weeks now. Ever since the now infamous "Riccarton 3" statement in which Elvis, flanked by Hartley and Gordon told of significant unrest in the dressing room and Elvis' subsequent withdrawal from the game against Falkirk questions have been asked about his future at the club.
And so it was on Saturday that the man who had proclaimed he wanted to see his career out at Hearts, the man whom we named Cup Final day after only 6 months ago, the man who has been seen as the mainstay of this team was no more. The fans who had chanted his name week in, week out robbed of the chance to say a final farewell to him. Whatever the in's and out's of how and why this happened, no matter who was right or wrong...the fans who pay the money surely had a right to be able to say farewell to a man who has reached and thoroughly deserved the title of Hearts Legend.
How ironic that on the day we find out he is to leave our club, the Steven Pressley Legend banner fell from it's place high on the tower in Tynecastle and was left crumpled.
Farewell Elvis...Thanks for the memories, watching you lift that Scottish Cup in May and bringing it home to Tynie is something we'll never forget. I have a feeling you will be one ex-Hearts player who will hear his name ring out at tynie when you next appear there..whatever colours you are in instead of the usual boo's.
One Steven Pressley...There's only one Steven Pressley....
Sunday, December 10, 2006
There is though a fine line between a humourous wind up and over stepping the mark into dangerous territory where the joke back fires and you just piss people off. That occurs when you take it too far. When you just cross the line thinking you'll be safe because your performing the wind up from a distance and you think no-one knows who you are. When you see the reaction and want to goad it some more. When you think you have the upper hand and you just push the button a wee bit harder and the witty remarks become insults instead.
To be able to carry off a good wind up, in particular when the person you are winding up is known to you quite well, you need to know when to call it a day. You need to have a bit of intelligence to read when enough is enough...to make a get away before you leave evidence behind that if looked at closely enough will reveal your cover.
For example if your wind up took the cover being done by written word (perhaps by passing yourself of as someone your not) then you have to look carefully at what you write because silly spelling mistakes and the words you use can all give clues to your identity, your age and your sex.
So to the little wind up merchant who has been trying his hardest to come the smart ass in recent times with me...
If I had to mark your report card it would need to read must try harder. I know who you are and I know that you know that I know who you are (did you follow that or was it too difficult for you?). So we'll leave it at that...never try to kid a kidder...espcially one more intelligent than you. Come back and try again when your old enough to vote!
Thursday, December 07, 2006
However, a quick look at my stats has revealed a bizarre thing. On Tuesday I had 359 different people look at this Blog. Now normally in the average day I have about 20-odd so this raised my wee eyebrows. Closer inspection revealed they had all come from the same place...Jambo's Kickback!
A thread appeared called "Does anyone know this girl?"...so I've been rumbled!
Och well! That's my nice girl cover blown now...they'll read this and realise I'm a complete nutjob! Actually come to think of it that'll mean I fit in well on JKB!
p.s Mon The JT's!!
Monday, December 04, 2006
A date we all know well. It was the day terroists flew planes into landmark sites in the USA. The day the WTC came down. We've all got an idea of events on the day. We watched it unfold on TV. We also know that there have been various alternative theories as to what happened. Some have been dismissive of these. Some believe there was hidden agendas relating to what happened...
Hit the link and watch the video...be warned it's long, this is a full documentary...it may though just give you another angle with which to look at events from that day. Conspiracy Theory? You decide.
It works for me now!!
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Today I made yet another trip to Weegieland to said Passport Office. I think due to the number of times I seem to go there I should really have a specially customised seat with my name on it. This time I was accompanying my Sis who needed to renew her passport. As we are off to the States in 13 days (yippee!) she needed to renew it now as there was less than 6 months until it expired and the States being the States won't let you in without 6 months clear left on your passport.
I was braced for the usual idiot behind the counter, the usual silly statements and sillier questions, the argument, the nonsense and general pissing performance that we always encounter whenever we go there. However....
We handed the form in, did the photo's and paid and 3 hours later, with no problems at all, got her passport! It's a miracle! Hurrah!!
(p.s Dear Sister, the photo is a topper. 10 years!! It'll be on there for 10 years!! What a day to have a big spot!! Still you've gained a nose so it's all good!)
I got a letter in the post today. I read it. It made me laugh. I am not at liberty to share with you what it was about or what it's contents were but... I got a letter in the post today. I read it. It made me laugh.
That is all.
You and I have shared some good times. We've spent many an hour in each other's company, sometimes too many hours some would say, often still here together late into the night or even into the wee small hours when everyone else is in bed. You've helped me through some troubled times...remember when we were handed the puzzle of trying to find out the names of 5 british football players who had played in the Champions League for 2 different clubs? God how that bugged me. I HAD to find the answer and you my trusty friend helped me. We got the result we wanted and we showed them all! Or that time I couldn't remember the name of that song I wanted to download and you found it for me.
We've done good deeds together, we've passed messages round the globe, we've made new friends and we've made some enemies...but we won't talk about that! Fair enough, having you has at times meant my bank balance has suffered....you make it so easy for me to buy things while just sitting here with you but I know it's because you care...you don't want me to leave you to head to the stores in person. Even though you sometimes threw a strop and pissed me off by refusing to do what I asked you, I knew you'd always come round eventually.
Sadly our time together is becoming less and less lately.
I'm being edged out of my position here in front of you and it's just not right. You'll notice that Doodle is on here more now. He likes you because you let him play Scooby Doo games with you. Better Half is here more and more now he has that fantasy Basketball thing to do and his footie predictor and we won't mention the hours he spends making you download for him from iTunes. Of course Belle has now claimed her spot here as well. Now she's on here chatting to her mates for hours on end. Bloody MSN. I mean it must drive you mad when the basic conversation goes "Hi babes" "How's u?" "seriously???" "no way" "omg!!!!" "yes i did" "no not no way but yes way" "waaaayyyyyy" "kool" "luv ya hunni" "right babes" "cya spk 2 u at skl 2moro" ...I can only apologise for ever setting the damn thing up for her.
So you see computer between the 3 of them they're whittling away the time I get to spend on here with you. Fear not though my friend for Better Half's laptop has been repaired and soon he will divert his attention away from you and back to her. He's a fickle man. Doodle is easily removed with the promise of a new PS2 game which will keep him occupied for weeks and we will limit Belle to only being allowed to use you for 2 hours per day and look into getting her a pc of her own. For now though we will continue to have our snatched moments together like now when the small ones are in bed and the big one is at work.
Forever yours, (at least until I have saved enough for my new laptop cause to be honest I'm getting bored with how much space you take up)
Thursday, November 23, 2006
There was no way he was making it to school on Monday. I was gutted. Not because it meant I'd have him at home all day but because in the 18 months he's been at school he's never had a day off before so this would be his first. By Monday night Belle was also running a temperature and so on Tuesday I kept them both home. Belle has had about 4 days off sick since she started school over 5 years ago so it pains me to keep her off as well!
I'm lucky to have been blessed with 2 kids who are very rarely ill. Most viruses and sickness bugs that go round seem to think the better of messing with my kids and if they do succumb to somethign they tend to do so during the holidays! I honestly couldn't tell you the last time either of them were sick before this week. Personally I put it down to the fact that I let my kids go out to play...they wade in burns, climb up hills, play in trees, catch frogs, newts and toads and don;t head straight home at the first sign of drizzle. They are exposed to germs and I think it's been beneficial for them health wise...all this keeping them clean, changing their clothes at the first sign of dirt, keeping them off school at every ache, pain or cough and filling them with paracetamol at the first sign of a sneeze is nonsense...it's the kids like that who are the ones forever coming down with something.
After spending most of Tuesday morning in their beds Belle, who was feeling a bit brighter by lunchtime, was up and pottering about in her bedroom. Better Half was on a day off and him and I were downstairs on the sofa catching up on the episodes of Lost we'd Sky+ed on Sunday night. All of a sudden there's a high pitched scream of "Mummy, Muuuuuuummmmyyyyyy". As a parent you know instantly from the type of cry it is that something bad has happened. We jump up and head for the stairs...the scream having come from up them. Better Half shouts "What's happened?" as we're on the move and the shout comes back "There's a fire, the house is on fire". Originally I'd thought the scream had come from Doodle due to his sore throat...it now becomes clear it's Belle. "A fire? Where?" Shouts Better Half as he's heading up the stairs two at a time. "The bathroom" shouts Belle. Better Half and I exchange glances...the bathroom is on fire???.
We get to the top of the stairs, and we look towards the bathroom and there on the floor is a toilet roll...on fire! Better Half extinguishes it and we both turn towards Belle who is in a state of panic, shaking like a leaf, crying, shaking her head, wringing her hands...there is a lighter lying on the floor in the bathroom not far from the scene of the crime. I calm her down a bit and ask her if she knows how the toilet roll got on fire...no comes the reply...I ask again....no she says...so I try another route...I ask her if she's had a fright...yes she says...I asked her at what point she thought holding a lighter to a toilet roll was a good idea...I don't know she said and with those 3 words we clarified two things...our daughter was guilty as sin (which was never in doubt!) and she has a head full of silly ideas (another thing that never been in doubt!).
The necessary lecture regarding fire and it's dangers took place...with a note that she may want to run any more silly ideas past us in future and a word of thanks that she at least had the brains to drop the offending burning item on the tiled bathroom floor as opposed to my newly carpeted landing. The lecture was short and sweet without high dramatics, shouting or punishments being dished out...one look at her shaking, panicking, tear stained face was enough to realise the lesson was learned and would not be repeated. The fright had been punishment enough!
I did feel it necessary to have a word with Doodle though...he had stayed in bed through all the shouting and noise playing his Playstation even though we were right outside his bedroom door...I felt it was important to point out to him that when someone shouts the house is on fire he might want to at least pause the game and take note!
So Belle has learned a lesson and I pointed that out to both of them. Doodle was savvy enough to advise me that this is the second lesson he's learned from his sister. The first, he informed me, was when Belle had put her pennies in her mouth and they had gone down her throat and she had choked. That was indeed correct, how he still remembers it given he was 3 years old is anyone's guess...but the fright we all got that day has been enough to ensure none of the two of them ever stick money in their mouths!
So with all her teaching and the lessons she's dishing out I think maybe my daughter is heading for a career in education! And for the record they were both back at school on Wednesday morning!
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
So I'm sitting here on Friday night about 7pm and a message flashed up on my screen. It was a private message from Jambo's Kickback, the fans forum for all good Jambo's, I won't bother sticking in the link because due to all that's going on with Heart Of Midlothian Football Club at present guest viewing is disabled so unless your a member already you won't be able to view it.
Anyway the message is from Scott (aka GodsaJambo) to tell me I've won a competition they were running...my prize?...a pair of corporate hospitality tickets to Sundays game against Rangers compliments of The Diggers bar. Now sadly Geoff is working on Sunday so he can't go with me (hahahaha) so Mum steps in to take advantage of the offer.
Sunday morning arrives and Mum and I arrive at The Diggers at 11am as instructed in our Sunday best appropriately as you need to comply with the dress code...I have never, ever been to the Football before in dress trousers and my good going out coat...it's normally jeans and trainers so this was something new! We're met by the lovely Karl, the bar's owner who is beyond hospitable! The pubs don't open on Sundays until 12.30pm but by the time the doors open for business we've been in for an hour and a half and are on vodka and lemonade number 4! Karl has reserved a table for 10 guests and we meet the remaining 7 who we will be spending the day with...all men and all of them polite, gentlemanly and friendly.
We wander down from the pub at about 12.45pm and head to Tynecastle. We head straight to the Gorgie Suite (a function room within the stadium that I've been in before after the Cup Final parade in May) and are shown by our hostess to our table. First things first and we have a wee toast with the free champagne (real not cava which was nice...I only know because I'm not keen on champagne but can drink cava by the bottle!). We got stuck into the bottled beer supplied in the ice buckets on the tables and filled our wine glasses before handing in a substantial bar order for some spirits to wash it down with. Then it was on to serious business as we all studied the football coupons to check the match betting and stuck on our respective flutters! By the time our soup was served at 1.15pm we were all the best part of 9 drinks in and were all chatting away like we'd known each other for years!
The MC pulled a few well kent faces from the past on stage for a their opinions on what's happening at Hearts (mad owner, Captain dropped, not won since September, fans in uproar, protests, another new caretaker coach, our "real" manager still off on sick leave, mad tactics, crazy team selections, etc, etc) Gary Mackay was his usual diplomatic self but Dave McPherson who has played for both clubs was a bit more blunt in his responses! The team for the day was read out and the raised eyebrows and sighs went round as it now customary at Hearts these days! Gary came over for a chat and we got a few photos for prosperity and him and Dave signed everyone's programmes as did another couple of old Hearts legends Freddie Glidden and Jimmy Murray who incidently was the first man to score for Scotland in a World Cup Finals. Jimmy was lovely and stopped to chat for quite a while telling us a few funny tales from days gone by! At 1.50pm we headed out and up to our seats in the stand.
45 minutes of nothing much later and we were back inside eating pies and sausage rolls and drinking coffee to heat us all back up again. We spent a few mnutes discussing our man of the match choice. As Karl was the days match sponsor out table got to choose a man of the match, it was looking like Brellier or Bruno would be getting the honour but we had until 10 minutes before the final whistle to decide. The bar order was duly deposited for our return and we went back out for the second half. The final result was not what we'd hoped for...Rangers edged it 1-0 in a game that was really 2 off form teams struggling against each other but to be fair none of us were too upset about it...must have been the drink! We had a democratic vote on our man of the match midway through the second half and Paul Hartley edged out...just I think for his passion and running more than anything else and possibly to show a bit of backing to him after recent times.
Back in the warmth of the Gorgie Suite, Karl was most insistent we make full use of the bar and at one point I'm sitting there with 4 vodka's and a glass of wine in front of me. We tucked into our main courses and Karl asked if I would go on stage to accept the match sponsors gift from the club and present the man of the match champagne on behalf of The Diggers when the time came! So about 10 minutes later I'm making my way onto the stage to be presented with a signed rangers shirt and a signed hearts shirt all encased in a huge frame which I received from none other than Scotland's number 1...Craig Gordon, who smells lovely and has ridiculously soft hands! Photos were taken and it was all good.
We drank our way through our orders, finished our desserts and placed our final drinks order of the day...doubles all round. We had received the usual free gift...this time it was a 2007 hearts diary as well as the minature of whisky (which some of the men had drunk before the game and a few others took up to the stand for a wee dram during it...but Karl told the waitress after the game that we'd left them on the table and they'd been nicked and she duly brought 10 more), the programme and team sheets but Karl was after scarves and after a bit of persuasion we were presented with new Hearts scarves worth a silly £13.50 each! At 6pm after outstaying our welcome by almost an hour and being among the last to leave...we headed back up to The Diggers for a wee refreshment to finish of the day! Mum wandering up arm in arm with her new best friend George discussing the world at large!
Karl was a great host and the rest of the guys...well we couldn't have wished for better company for the day...I hope I will come across each and every one of them again in the future. I reckon I must have scooped the best part of 16 drinks on Sunday in 6 and a half hours if you minus the 90 minutes match time! Not bad going really!
If you're ever in Edinburgh and in need of a pint...I demand you go to The Diggers...it's the home of heavy don't you know!
Monday, November 20, 2006
Unfortunatley his idea of taking him out to buy his birthday present meant a trip to the Hibs Superstore. I tried to tell him it would make me feel sick but he was adamant. So being a good Auntie I agreed. So it was across town to the dark side...Hoboland... on a wet winter's night to the bright puke green neon lights of the Hibs shop nestled under the pit that is Fester Road stadium.
We arrived and got parked and I reluctantly got out the car with him. Reluctant on 2 counts...one because it pained me to be spending money or setting foot in the place and two because I was worried about leaving my beloved ST parked there!
An hour....yes an hour...later he'd finally made his mind up that he wanted a new Hibs home top with his name on the back and a green foam pointy finger thing with Hibernian FC written on it...this was (slightly) preferable to his earlier desire for golf balls, chocolate, pens, calendars, teddy bears, car stickers, air fresheners and pencil toppers!
So we got it and escaped as quick as we could...well as quick as you can when your Nephew takes an hour to decide on some thing and keeps wandering off because some other puke green coloured thing has taken his fancy!
I've burned the clothes I was wearing, scrubbed myself clean and have vowed never to return...last time I was in there was just after he was born...Hibs won 4-0 just after my first visit and after my visit on Thursday they won 6-1 on Saturday now I reckon there's a link in there somewhere so I ain't going back...ever Nephew or not.
Happy birthday to my funny wee Nephew who is 8 today.
This will mean nothing unless you are him....
Maybe one day soon during rushing hour Pika Jenny take you up to Athur's Street going past the open 7 days shop as we go and I'll help you up the Saltsbury Cracks to save you wheelchairing yourself up for your second attempt.
I can't wait till your old enough to be fully red-faced by that little statement Deanie!
Happy Birthday little man!
(Auntie...or should that be Pika) Jenny xx
Monday, November 13, 2006
That's her into double figures. A decade passed since I first clapped eyes on her. To be fair when I did first clap eyes on her she was screaming big style and looked very unchuffed to be here!
I had her for only moments after she first arrived at 6.42pm, not due to me not wanting to hold her but due to the fact that I was bleeding somewhat profusely and all hell was breaking loose around me! Doctors and nurses running about the place shouting, a machine beeping like mad in the corner, a blood pressure cuff going slack and tight at scarily regular intervals, blood running of the bed onto the floor...I remember little about it but I do remember hearing Belle (for Belle read Chloe) screaming in the distance!!
It was nearly 10 hours later that I finally got to see her properly. After calming things down medically and inserting enough stitches to create a masterpiece of needlework, my family were allowed in for half an hour to get their wee shot of the new arrival. After that everyone was sent packing to let me sleep and Belle was whisked away to the nursery so I could recuperate from 2 days in labour!
4am it was when I awoke. Instantly, as I had done for nearly 9 months I moved my hand to my stomach and the haziness disappeared. I'd had my baby! I looked round and saw she wasn't beside me, a slight panic set in...probably my first moment of Mothering instinct and the memory that she'd been taken to the nursery came back. I walked along to the nursery and there were 2 plastic cots lying there. As I approached I saw the first baby...she was a huge, gorgeous pudding with masses of black hair, lots of wrinkles and a bruising to her face. A wee voice inside was saying "how will you know which one's yours?", then I saw the other baby...she was small, with skin like a peach, a tiny amount of strawberry blond hair, lying with both hands under her cheek looking every inch a little madam and angelic at the same time...as I looked over her she opened her eyes and seemed to stare right at me (impossible I know!) and her eyes were almost black instead of the usual baby blue...I knew straight away that she was mine. I took her back to the side of my bed and spent the next 3 hours till breakfast just staring at her...she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.
She's not changed much over the last decade. She's still got the air of a little madam about her at times. The hair colour didn't last long, the eyes remained a dark brown which bizarrely flash almost green when she gets a temper on her, she is the image of her Dad which I don't actually mind even though we've long since parted as he's actually given her some nice features like the eyes, her legs and her mediterranean colouring. Something that can't be said for her step-sister and his first daughter who is pale, blonde and blue eyed! They are like chalk and cheese!
So we head into decade 2 of parenting her. Time is flying past now it seems. It's hard to believe that in just 6 years time she will officially be able to get married! It's 6 years ago since I was getting all narked about her leaving nursery!! I thought she was getting to big then! Still you know they're getting older when the girls at her party shout "sperm" instead of cheese when they get their picture taken!! Seriously , I kid you not...they've been getting Sex Ed and it's all still gigglesome and shiny and new to them!
Anyway...Happy Birthday Belle...I love you too much!!
Jenny xx (Mum)
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Yep it's that time of year again..time for the annual jaunt with Mum and Sis to the chilly climate of Minnesota for some retail therapy!
It was all booked back in February but with one thing and another...one thing being a serious lack of spending money and another being my sore butt...I wasn't sure if I'd need more surgery on it or not prior to December, we decided to cancel it and go next year.
However, Mum phoned on Sunday in a fit of depression getting all narked cause the time was drawing nearer when we should be heading off and we weren't going to be. She got me all pissed off about not going and the mere mention of the word Minneapolis got my Sister all excited.
So after a few days deliberation and soul searching about whether it was acceptable to squander the savings on a trans-atlantic jolly so close to Christmas we all came to the same conclusion...fuck it let's go!
So 12th December I'm off on my travels again. I've been low on American trips this year (cough, cough) this will only be my third for 2006! This time of year just ain't the same without a wee trip to Iceland or the Mall Of America though!
That was the worst fucking display by a fucking Hearts team I have fucking seen in a fucking long time. They were bloody piss poor. Playing against a shit team with the fucking worst goalkeeper in the fucking entire universe and we didn't even bloody trouble him once. He might as well not have fucking stripped for the game. He could have sat at fucking home dipping chocolate fucking Hob Nobs in his tea and still we wouldn't have bloody well scored.
Each and every fucking one of those idiots who played in maroon tonight wants his fucking ass kicked. No passion, no aggression, no tackles, no passing, no fucking idea what to do with the ball the few times they got it. They made that bunch of tattie eating immigrants look bloody miles better than they actually were.
And don't even get me started on that so called stand in fucking head coach Malofeev...actually you may as well since I'm off on one anyway......his names more likely to be Mal O' Feev. He's obviously not fucking Russian and is definitely Irish cause he played right into the hands of those Irish Gypsies tonight. The fucking Choob. Who the fuck in their right mind plays a 4-5-1 against a team who play 3-4-3?? Why play one forward against a fucking 3 man defence?? Better still hands up if you think playing a right back in midfield is a good idea? Oh only you then Mr Mal O'Feev! Even more fucking stupid is playing a defender in midfield when you have a fucking brilliant midfield player itching to get on. Hands up who thinks it's a good idea to drop from the squad one of the best players at the club?? Oh aye you again Mal and your pal Vlad.
Imagine having a head coach who can't speak a fucking word of fucking english! How the fuck is he supposed to shout instructions? And how much time do they waste at Half Time waiting for a translator to repeat everything he says? Utter fucking nonsense. Sheer fucking stupidity. Oh and for the record Mr Mal O'Feev...when yer man has been booked and then recieves a word from the ref on 2 other occaisons he's nearing the red card, it means he can't risk tackles or anything else so in reality he's fucking useless to you....so take him fucking off and replace him you total tosser instead of subbing someone else and putting on an 18 year old inexperienced laddie against your biggest and most bitter rivals in place of a no bad player.
As for the choobs who were on the park...get your defending of set pieces sorted out...3 games, 3 corners against you, resulting in 3 goals. Not good enough. Beaten soundly by a bunch of scaffs. Its fucking disgustifying I tell you. All those fucking aids ridden, smelly, soap dodging gypsies will be out getting bevvied now on cheap cider. All their Giros away in one night. Their bairns starving for another week!
Right then, rant over.
Anyway it could be worse....I could be a Rangers fan! How good are they? Polly Gwen must stay!!
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
I've managed to gather a few wee bits and pieces to try out just to get the insanity thing turned up a notch. I thought I'd share them with you all in case you fancy trying for your very own padded cell...
1. Sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Every time someone asks you for something, ask if they want fries with that.
3. In the note part of your chequebook where you write what the cheque was for put "for smuggling diamonds".
4. Wherever possible skip rather than walk.
5. Ask for diet water whenever you're in a restaurant with a very serious face.
6. Make sure you tell the guy/girl at the drive thru that your order is "to go".
7. Go to the opera and sing along.
8. Begin all your sentences with "I hereby declare"
9. Ask everyone to address you by your new wrestling name of Rock Nroll
10. 5 days before the event, tell your friend you can't come to their party/wedding/whatever because you won't be in the mood that day.
11. When you go to the cash machine and money comes out shout loudly "I won!, I won!"
12. When leaving the Zoo and heading back to your car, run and shout loudly "They're all free, run for you lives!!"
13. Tell your family over dinner that due to the state of the countries economy and todays business climate you'll have to let one of them go.
14. Whenever you are in a store and hear music, dance.
15. Spend a whole day speaking in a different accent.
16. In a clothes shop when you see someone lift a garment to look at it run over and say "Put that back at once...it's hideous"
17. When in a food store and you see a fat person buying cake/biscuits/sweets go up to them and say "It's hard to give them up isn't it?" in a very symapthetic tone.
18. Get on the bus and ask for a child fare.
19. Phone your boss and them your not coming to work today because you've nothing to wear.
20. Walk up to one of those perfume sprayers in department stores and spray them with your own perfume.
21. Buy a bulk lot of condoms and tell the girl when you pay for them that business is booming
I'm away to try a few now!
In fact my Mum, Sister and I will often just jump in with "well I don't know" mid-conversation now when we haven't got anything else to say in response. It's like a wee homage to my Auntie!
Anyway, aside from her wee catchphrase my Auntie is...how should I put this?...a bit highly strung. She is a lovely woman, full of life and fun and she has the loudest most hearty giggle you'll ever hear but she is absolutely 100% hyper at the best of times.
Funny thing is her Brothers and Sister (my Uncle's and my Mum) and even her Mum and Dad were/are laid back to the point of horizontal in comparision to her. In fact my Uncle's and my Mum all look very similar but my Auntie (who is the eldest) looks nothing lke them. There is no-one else in our family like her in fact...well apart from me..but just a wee bit and only because we're both a bit hyper at times and love shopping!
Last week my Auntie was in floods of tears at Mum's....there was 2 reasons for this. One was that she had a flat tyre and was just devasted to the point of wanting to top herself and the other was because she has no grandchildren!! This second one is a bit of a sore point to my Auntie. She's recently turned 60 and there's no sign of Granchildren on the horizon. My Mum has been a Granny for 11 years now, My Uncle had 3 Grandsons and My other Uncle (who has been dead since '99) had 2 step-Grandkids before he died and 3 more since. So my Auntie, who loves to do things first, is being left well and truly behind.
I think she's lonely. Her kids have long since flown the nest and don't exactly live on the doorstep anymore. Friends and family all have these gatherings for birthday's and the like where all the Grandkids come round and it's all good. There's just her and my Uncle and to be fair my Aunt loves a good get together and a laugh (her parties were legendary when we were kids!) but my Uncle has since settled into the quiet life of a 60 year old and those days of throwing big family parties are behind her now.
So this Christmas I'm going to head round there with my troops at some point over the festivities, with a bottle in hand, some dips and crisps and let my kids run riot! It'll end one of two ways...she'll enjoy herself and get a wee smile on her face from having us there and it'll make her want Grandkids even more...or....she'll realise how tiring and how much of a nuisance kids can be and will count herself lucky not to have grandkids!
What will happen? "Well I don't know" we'll wait and see.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
I will spontaneously feel the urge to dance at any given moment or sing out loud or even just shout something out. I am very prone to talking to myself, have a habit of asking myself questions and will then answer them but use a different voice in reply. I talk on behalf of the dog and use "boxer voice" when I do so because the dog can't speak for herself. I will encourage the kids to join in my silly moments and they normally will do quite happily...this may explain why I like kids so much!
So it may be that I am touched with a hint of madness. Either that or I'm bi-polar!! Anyway I think I may need to increase this disfunctional gene of mine and start showing more signs of madness. The reason for this is that I have always fancied a wee shot in the padded cell. Sitting there day after day rocking back and forth and mumbling away to myself in a variety of voices. Sleeping when I like, singing whenever I want, being able to scream really loudly if the mood occurs. There's somethng undeniably appealing about that for me.
You need to try everything in life don't you? Give everything a shot once...except for going into a room full of spiders because that's not madness that's just plain stupid and there's a difference. So anyway I might try for the padded cell one day. It's offically going on my "to do" list.
ps mission accomplished with ironing the trousers yesterday! I shouted out loud a lot, swore a lot and talked to myself for 30 minutes but I got there in the end!
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Actually that should be a whole other post...I use a shitload of words that other people probably don't, that probably aren't even real words and that are just real words said differently. Watch this space for that post!
Anyway I'm off on a tangent aren't I? I'm losing the plot a bit here because I should really be ironing my "good" trousers for this funeral later this morning but I'm putting it off for two reasons...1) I can't iron dress trousers to save my life, for this I blame my Dad, who being an ex-soldier was very precise in how trousers should be ironed and so he always did them for us! Now I've got Geoff to do them but he's at work and so panic is setting in! and 2) I will fuck it up and lose my temper cause I can't do it right which will lead to a tantrum in front of the dog...since she's the only one here!
See I'm off again...onto another topic altogether!
Aye, so Hallowe'en has been and gone for another year. My 2 headed out into the street joined this year by their cousins (a Morticia, 2 Screamers and a Bat!) and came back a few hours later with bags full of sweets.
The doorbell went solidly from 6pm through to 8pm with various children from the neighbourhood dressed up in a variety of costumes.
They're all growing up so fast now...I remember the ones in Chloe's class coming round when they were all shy and knee high to a grasshopper...they used to sing a wee song, it was ever so sweet. Last night some of the boys in her class came to the door on the hunt for chocolate and it was then that I really noticed how grown up they've all become...they didn't sing a song but chose to tell a joke and here it is for your amusement...
What's the difference between a hedgehog and a bus full of Rangers fans?
There's more pricks on a bus full of Rangers fans.
What???? Oh my god! They are 10 years old!! The joke though made me giggle (internally of course because I had to show my disapproval by keeping a very straight face at the time!) 10 years old! Their Mothers must be so proud!
The rest of night was spent flying round the place, meeting up with my mates and chatting about wart remover and how cat's piss can leave a horrible smell on your good ikea rugs. I had a few glasses of Champange to celebrate the season and flew home on my trusty broomstick a little the worse for wear laughing at the traffic cops below me!
Right there's no more putting it off by sitting here. I need to go and make an attempt at these trousers. They're staring at me from the dining table...I think they're chanting "you'll never dae us" over and over but I can't be sure!
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
She was a nice woman with a lovely personality. Never the sort to pass you in the street, always stopped to say hello. Never passed my Mum and Dad's without pausing at the gate for a natter and to say how gorgeous the grandkids were or to comment on how grown up my sister and I were now. She would often say how lucky my Mum and Dad were to have Grandkids and say how she couldn't wait to be a Granny herself.
She got her wish and her son and his wife had not so long ago had a baby boy.She and her Husband had just sold their house and were moving down there to be nearer their Grandson. They'd made plans and were looking to the future.
Now this is normally where the old "but fate had other ideas" line would be used. Sadly it doesn't apply here. For her life wasn't ended by an act of fate. It was ended by her own fair hand when she made the decision to kill herself. There is the reason I will not name her. Her family have asked that it not be made common knowledge, possibly because of the stigma attached to suicide and possibly because it's not how they want people to remember her. Of course it'll come out in the end...these things always do but I will respect the families wishes.
Her Husband came home and found her. One year exactly to the day that her Mum had died. Apparently she had struggled to cope with her Mum's death and had taken it hard. Her joy at being a Granny, her plans for moving down south to begin a new phase of her life were all just a cover up for the grief she felt. It's a tragic and sad ending to the life of a lovely woman who always walked down the road with a spring in her step and a smile on her face.
So tomorrow I'll be putting on the funeral clothes and heading to the crematorium with many others to say goodbye to another poor soul.
Periodically they do a "Live" event such as last nights where the team head to a reputed haunted hot-spot and do the show live from wherever they are. They're backed by a team in the studio who do all the links and such like. This Hallowe'en they decided to come to Edinburgh for their Live specials and my mate Eileen managed to get her mits on a couple of tickets (one of which she offered to me...cheers Eileen!!) so her and I headed down to be part of the studio audience last night.
The team consists of a bunch of regular joes all of whom began life as sceptics, they're headed up by Yvette Fielding a former Blue Peter presenter and they're joined by a para-psychologist who tries to explain the strange occurances they encounter with science and a medium/spiritualist who tells them what he can see. The studio support includes a historian who searches for fact to back up the vibes the spiritualist gets.
Edinburgh is a good place to go ghost hunting. The city has a grisly history and there enough spooks, spectres, ghosts and ghouls to keep anyone amused for much longer than the 3 nights the Most Haunted team are in town for. The very fact we have a resident tour company who make big bucks doing ghost tours 50 weeks a year proves that one.
Among the ghoulish history in the city we have Burke and Hare, the notorious grave robbers, who dug up bodies from the city's graveyard's and then sold on parts as research tools for cash sums to the medical scholars. The witch trials which began under King James 1 Scotland (James VI in England) where women suspected of being witches were tied up and thrown into the Nor Loch, a site which is now Princes Street Gardens...legend has it that if the women sunk and drowned they were proclaimed innocent and if they floated to the top they were fished out and burnt at the stake in a public ritual up on the Castle Esplanade but not before many of them were tortured and humiliated in private.
One of the best known haunting hot spots in Edinburgh are the closes of the Royal Mile, in particular Mary Kings Close which is about half way down the street. The closes were home to many impoverished familes back in the 16th and 17th century, nowadays you'd need to splash out in the region of £450,000 for a two bedroom flat in one of the closes especially one with a view! The closes were ravaged with the plague in 1645 and hundreds were killed by it. Mary Kings Close in particular was affected badly and the city officials, desperate to try and contain the plague and stop it's spread decided to seal Mary Kings Close up, trapping everyone inside and leaving them to die. Men, women and children were all trapped, families members who did not yet have the plague were also trapped as it was condsidered unsafe to try and save them as they had been in contact with people carrying the disease. It's rumoured the screams of those trapped inside and dying in agony could be heard in the surrounding closes for weeks. It was some years after the plague had finally gone that Mary Kings Close was opened up again. Edinburgh was a city with a growing population and the officials needed the close to provide housing for other familes and so it was decided to clear the close to make it ready for new families to move in. In addition Mary Kings Close lies upon a steep slope and there had been a steady stream of fluids running from the close for several years!
What was discovered within was a grisly sight. The carcasses of the dead had rotted to the extent that the flesh was hanging from the bodies, the smell was putrid and the area damp. There were hundreds of corpses all needing to be removed. The city officials gave the job to just 2 men who armed with axes and wheelbarrows were left to clear up the mess. The men had an altogether different trade in usual life....butchers! The first couple to rehabit the close were a Mr & Mrs Coldhart. Within days they reported unusual sightings and sounds and stories of sightings of severed heads and hearing the screams of a little girl were soon being reported on a daily basis. Therein began the tales from Mary Kings Close. The Close was finally sealed off considered unhabitable in the early 1900's and remained sealed (for the second time!) until the early 1990's when it was re-opened as a historical sight. It is now a world famous haunt spot with numerous sightings and reports of strange activities. Other Closes in the area provide similar tales heightened by the fact that fire swept through them in 1750 causing the loss of hundreds of lives.
We also have Greyfriars Kirkyard which is said to be the most haunted graveyard in the world. Numerous people have reported being injured whilst in there including bite marks, scratches, burns and bruises.
There are also the Niddry Street Vaults and the Blair Street Vaults which are caverns of old housing built in the heart of the Old Town underneath what is now the South Bridge, a street built to connect the Royal Mile with the streets of the New Town. Both sets of vaults are widely accepted to be haunted with hundreds of people feeling, hearing or seeing strange phenomenon whilst inside them. I've been inside the Vaults myself and swear blind I heard a cat miaow right by my feet...there was no cat to be seen though! That is where the team headed to last night. From experience I can say that the vaults in Niddry Street are a cold and eerie place. The ground is uneven, it's damp and in places very dark!
So we sat in the studio and watched live like the millions at home as the team toured the area looking for strange occurences. It seems they found a few! The medium felt the presence of a female spirit whom he declared was named Alison Balfour, the historian managed to back that up by finding a resident of that name in 1694! He later saw a man who he described as a "religious zealot" and whom he said hated women, he suspected he was a gay man and gave the name Alexander Clarke..again the historian managed to find him from records. He had been a city official and a religious preacher who was involved in the witch trials. Now I am a believer in the spirit world but I'm what I call a sceptical believer relating to shows like this, meaning that I fully believe this could all be down to clever staging but I'm open minded that it might just be something else...I'm willing to be convinced shall we say!
So far I hadn't seen or heard anything to make me believe this was nothing more than a staged event designed to make good tv. When the medium said he sensed the presence of a "beast" with cloven hooves I was erring towards definite scepticism. However, what followed had me wondering. One of the team members began screaming out and complaining of a stabbing pain in his back. He pulled his jacket and t-shirt off and there was a series of large, deep, bleeding scratches across his back and side. This was followed a bit later by another member receiving a similar wound to his leg, another receiving a series of smaller scratches at different intervals across his back before the team member who had already had his leg gashed was hit again. These were proper, deep straight wounds very similar to knife slashes and there was plenty blood dripping from them. Definitely not the sort caused by human nails and not the sort you'd self inflict...these were requiring stitches jobs!
I admit to being a bit lost as to how this could be explained away with science or clever staging...one of the guys is in camera shot the whole time just before he's attacked and there's no way he or anyone near him could have done it without being seen...Geoff watched it back with me earlier and he is the biggest sceptic I have ever known...he like me originally thought it was all clever camera work and staged but even he couldn't explain the slash marks with logic!
I'm now planning a return to the vaults. Geoff has never been and quite fancies having a look so we're going to see if we can get a visit in sometime soon.
Meantime I will be tuning in tonight for the Most Haunted teams final night of live broadcasts from Edinburgh. Rumour is they're heading to Mary Kings tonight! Of course that's after I've taken my offspring out guising (as we call it here but trick or treating to the rest of the world!), my 2 are going out as the character from Scream and Mortica Adams tonight! I'd better get moving actually as I've still got a pumpkin to carve and sweets and apples to buy...no rest for the wicked eh?...and you may insert your own punchline to that comment if desired!
Happy Hallowe'en guys and girls.
Friday, October 27, 2006
Every year since 1901 (with the exception of 1976 when everyone was too busy dancing to "save all your kisses for me" by Brotherhood of Man) there have been more births than deaths.
Mortality rates are dropping rapidly - in the first 15 years of the 20th century over half the population (61%) died before they got to blow out 45 candles on their cake. In 2005 only 4% of UK deaths accounted for people under 45, so we're all living longer.
Fact is that 16% of the Uk's population are now 65 or older...by my calculations that's about 3.76 million people.
The good news about us all living longer is that most of us will get the chance to hang around for longer than our ancestors did. More of us will get a chance to know Granny and Grandad, as someone who missed out on ever meeting one of each of mine due to them dying very young, that is a nice thing. It means we're making breakthroughs in health research and are more educated than before...seriously, I have old death certificates for family members of mine back in the early part of the 1900's and I kid you not some of them lost their lives to "diahorrea" and "coughing". I mean "diahorrea" and "coughing" what sort of things are they to die from? I'd hate to have that on my death certificate! Or what about one of Geoff's relatives who's death certificate states "Fall of stone in mine accident, wound to forehead, concussion and shock, asphyxia on blood for 30 minutes, profuse bleeding from wound and fitting, attended, watched and waited for death to certify"...poor George from 1932 had no chance it seems, the Doc actually stood by and waited for him to die as he choked on his own blood! Not nowadays though, oh no...they'd have patched him up and given him paracetamol for the pain and sent him back to work the next day and as for dying from diahorrea? When was the last time you knew someone who died from having a dose of that?
The bad news of course is that most of us will get the chance to hang around for longer than our ancestors did! The queues in the Post Office on pension day are not likely to get any smaller, there will be more adverts on tv for discreet pads to help with incontinence and they'll still produce Spam cause there will be still be old folks who want to buy it. On top of that anyone under 40 will still hear comments of how the old folks fought the Germans to save the world and how we should appreciate bananas or a juicy orange more.
It's all tongue in cheek of course because you need to love the old folks don't you? I mean they are comedy value at it's highest level. Some of the things they say and do are just enough to crack you up. Many of them now have a "I'm too old to put up with any shit attitude". They say whatever they like, whenever they like and are sometimes so damn rude it's hysterical.
I remember being about 14 years old and waiting to get on a bus in Gorgie with my mate, We timed it so we got caught at the bus stop just as the Bingo was coming out. We'd queued for the bus and had been waiting for 20 minutes. The bus arrives and we're shoved out the way by demonic looking Grannies who wanted on the same bus, and I mean shoved out the way, they were using their brollies as weapons! I get on and sit down, about 6 of the Granny offenders are sitting in seats in front of me...you know the ones for the eldery and infirm...being 14 and full of attitude I say rather loudly "Honestly, how bloody ignorant, shoving people out the way to get on the bus, it's not like there was a queue or anything". One of the Grannies turned round and replied "There was a queue was there? well I've stood in queues to get bread to feed a family, men in my family stood in queues to sign up to fight the Germans and if they hadn't stood in that queue there'd be no bloody bus for you to be getting on, ungrateful bugger that you are, think about that!". I swear I nearly wet myself laughing. It wasn't helped by the fact she was wearing a rain mate on her head at the time and the water was dripping from it onto her nose!
Then there was the old man who lived downstairs from my pal. He came to the door one night to complain about how loud the stereo was. After making his feelings clear by ranting for several minutes, my pal told him it wasn't that loud, cause after all she'd heard the doorbell over it and he should calm down a bit before he had a heart attack. The old man was incensed and in his wee fit of anger responded by banging his walking stick down on the stair floor shouting "I lost a leg in the war so the likes of you could live withoot speaking german, but ye cannae understand that can ye, fucking retards, naw ye cannae understand that at aw cause yer fucking mongols that's what ye are, if I'd known then what I wis fighting tae save I'd have told King and country tae fuck off. Bastards the fucking lot o ye" before about turning and heading (very slowly) back to his own flat. Yet again I was left in hysterics. I mean I can be rude when it occurs to me but you don't go round calling folks fucking retards or mongols!!
Only the old folks can do stuff like that!! They just don't give a fuck and to them retard and mongol are acceptable words because they don't understand or bother with political correctness...gays are still poofs and queers, all asians are still pakies, disabled people are still spastics, people with learning difficulties are still backwards and coloured people are still coons. They refuse to acknowledge times have moved on, they don't like metres and centimetres, they still count in old money, shout into telephones, refuse to operate anything with a remote control and still believe that music is only music if it involves a big band sound.
I'd never wish my life away but I'm kind of looking forward to being rude as hell without apologising and getting down on a Saturday night to Dr Dre and the Chemical Brothers with my old homies.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
We drew 2-2 with the Hibs at Easter Road on the 15th. This is unacceptable especially as we fielded a eyebrow raising team.
I agree that the team selection was poor and was not the team I'd have put out against those peg selling docksiders. However...2-0 down in 16 minutes, a man sent off, not won there in 4 seasons, playing a team nowhere near our best 11 and we came home with a draw! Or to put it another way...a 2 goal lead, an extra man and the chance to play against a weakened Hearts team with home advantage and still the Hibs couldn't beat us.
We got beat 2-0 by Kilmarnock on Saturday at home.
Aye we did. The shame and humiliation of it! Get a grip...we will be beaten from time to time that's how it goes, even the best get gubbed now and then. Anyway we're still second in the league. Defeat from a well organised Kilmarnock side hardly warrants the knee jerk reactions of some folk. Hearts played well in the first 20 minutes but were piss poor for the remainder...that's just your luck sometimes.
Valdas has been given two weeks "sick leave". It's all a conspiracy and he's going to be sacked. Anyway he's not the man for the job and he's under way too much stress.
Or maybe he's just ill and needs some time off. Maybe he will be sacked. Who knows? Vlad says he won't be and he may well be lying and it may well be a conspiracy to get rid of him but if he's not the man for the job why the hysteria? As for him being under stress...he's a premier league manager it's in the job description and really he's probably not feeling a 10th of the pressure that Polly Gwen must be feeling right now cause his team are well rank and the great unwashed are starting to revolt!
Squad rotation is destroying our team and Vlad is interfering too much in the selection of who plays.
Agree entirely that a more settled squad would be better than the 59 changes in 9 games we've seen but on at least 4 occasions those big team changes have produced fantastic results. 4-0 over ICT, 4-1 over Dundee Utd for example. Where else will you see 3 different players scoring their first goals for the club on their home debuts??
Supporting Hearts is and always has been a rollercoaster. Massive highs and stomach churning lows. I wouldn't have it any other way!
I swear she is a jewellery-holic my Mum. Diamonds, Garnets, Sapphires (they're her favourites), Amythests (her birthstone), Topaz...you name it, my Mum will have a ring with the stone in it and she doesn't favour small delicate pieces either...no my Mum likes a nice rock and a thick band of gold to hold it in place! The only thing I've never seen her wear is either Pearl or Emerald. I'm not sure why that is.
She has pieces which her Mum's and her Mum's before that, she has chains, bracelets, watches, brooches, earrings, bangles...in fact I reckon my Mum is a human magpie!
Still it's better than her having a crack cocaine addiction I suppose!
I'm trying to convince her to buy something in white gold with diamonds...she won't wear it of course because she only likes yellow gold but I know someone who'll keep it safe from her!! I am partial to a bit of white gold!
Wake Up Call Part 1 ....
Steven has done a fair bit of writing since I last looked. The main topic of his posts of late have been about his Dad who had a wee health scare in the form of a mild heart attack. Luckily he seems to be doing well and has been released from hospital. It looks like Steve's Dad has taken this wee scare as a wake up call and he's decided to give up smoking for the sake of his health. It's good news. It's a disgusting habit and however much you might want to protest there's no denying it screws up your health...I'm not preaching here...I'm just one of the millions of nictotine addicts round the globe who knows the facts but still chooses to poison myself every day. How intelligent is that?
The fact is smokers are addicts but more importantly it's the habit part of smoking that's damn hard to break. I'm a big believer that you need a reason to stop smoking, something that's individual to you. I quit completely both times I found out I was pregnant. Didn't touch one from day one of finding out. Knowing I was carrying a baby was the reason I needed to give up. It was a piece of cake both times and I continued not to smoke for at least a year after both my kids were born. However, it wasn't the addiction that started me again...that was long gone from my system, it was the habit and as soon as I returned to work both times I automatically bought a pack on my way and joined my colleagues outside for our wee mid morning ciggy break. It was habit.
Steve's Dad has got his reason now and I wish him all the luck in the world as he bids to give them up.
Wake Up Call Part 2....
It was nice to hear that Steve made the long drive down to be with his Mum and see his Dad in person when he heard about his illness. I think Mum had tried to reassure Steve (as Mum's do) that it wasn't necessary for him to make the trip. Steve (like kids do) initially agreed with Mum but then (as kids do) decided to do the opposite! I'm glad Steve took the typical kid route and I'm sure he felt much more settled having seen first hand how his Dad was and despite Mum's reassurance I'm damn sure she was pleased to have her Son there for a cuddle and a bit of moral support.
I went to see my Dad on Sunday morning. It was chilly and damp and the only sound to be heard was the wind moving through the trees and making the various windchimes tinkle, that and the sound of a woman two rows away from me sniffing as she replaced the flowers in a vase on her own Dad's grave. I couldn't give my Dad a hug and neither could she. There lies wake up call number 2 folks...
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Firstly, you may well remember that I posted on here a wee while back about a job dilemma. It kind of went along the lines of "do you take the secure permanent job that provides stability but may be boring or risk it for the temporary one that may become permanent that you really enjoy"
Well it was decided to take the risk, follow the heart and go with the temporary job. Looks like it was the right decision after all. The temporary job is now officially a permanent one! Better Half has officially kissed goodbye to 20 odd years in civil engineering and management for a job he likes and enjoys.
I'm going to give myself a bit of kudos for being brave enough to support him and take the gamble on not being able to pay my mortgage if temporary job had not become permanent job. What the hell though eh? Life is full of gambles or at least it should be. Some pay off, some don't but I'm big on following your heart instead of your head. Gut instinct wins out everytime with me. I believe in fate....whit's fur ye'll no go past ye and all that.
Monday, October 16, 2006
To repeat for Max's benefit....I am going on a wee trip, that means I will not be posting until at least Friday night, so don't go throwing your toilet in this direction!!!
Have a good week ya'll!!
Saturday, October 14, 2006
She's having some friends in today and various folks will be heading up to say Happy Birthday. There's to be a wee Buzz challenge. I am a champion at Buzz. My darling niece has told me she's not having me on her leader board! The cheek of it! It may be her birthday but I'm heading there now to kick ass Buzz style. Not only am I going on that leader board but I'm going to the top!! I don't care if the average age of the competition will be 10!
Competitive? Moi? Never!
Not only is she my favourite niece (well she is my only niece!) but she's also my wee pal.
She joins in with my silliness, dances with me in public places, joins me on shopping trips, stays up late with me to watch tv, comes to Hearts games with me and is my ally in keeping secrets like a few weeks ago when I hung all the ironing on the curtain pole as I was doing it only to find the weight of it has pulled the pole away from the wall! We laughed our butts off when we saw what had happened but decided against telling Uncle Geoff!
11 years ago today (she was born on a saturday) at this very time I was in the car on my way to Simpson's to see her with my Mum. I think we were as tired as my Sister having been at the hospital from 4pm on the Friday through to 7am on the Saturday morning. It was a long night given she didn't make her appearance into the world until just before 6am! I managed a whole 2 hours sleep when we finally got back to Mum and Dad's just after 7am and I was in the local shopping centre (flanked of course by a very excited Granny and Grandad) buying pink clothes by 9.45am!
I will always remember the first time I saw her and the way she opened her wee eyes when I held her. It was almost as if she was saying "so you must be Auntie Jenny then". When I put her back down she started crying, so I lifted her again and she stopped instantly and looked at me again. I knew then we'd be pals!
Happy birthday honey.
Mind your Hearts top for tomorrow and you and I will sit in front of tv and cheer the Jambo's on against the Hibees! Mon the Jambo's!!
Love and Kisses,
(Anutie) Jenny xx
It's nice news as I know they'd been trying for some time before turning to IVF and after having one unsucessful attempt already they must have been nervous waiting for the results of this one.
May and Bill have been like part of the family for over 20 years. They lived in the house next door to us when we were growing up but the connection goes further back than that...May used to push my Mum round in her pram when she was a bairn as they grew up a few doors from each other and Bill worked with my Gran on the buses many moons ago. Angie is their only child but they've got lots of knowledge of what being a grandparent is all about having had my kids and Gill's around. I'm a bit gutted actually cause May and Bill have been fantastic babysitters for me for many a year now, I reckon I might need to come second in line for that now!
I saw May today and she's so excited. She thought this might never happen following her triple bypass last year and her being very near 70 now! She and Bill will make good grandparents I'm sure. Congratulations to all of them.
She opted to be out to sleep for the procedure instead of taking the spinal block as she wasn't too keen on remaining awake while they cut her feet open, filleted the offending bits off the nerves and achilies tendon and stiched her back up!
Everything went well and she was free to go home by 1pm following her 9.40am surgery. They don't keep you long in the old NHS now! It's only a few years ago that you'd have been taken in the day before an op and only allowed out a full 24 hours afterwards. Nowadays getting home merely depends on being able to have a pee and eating a bite of a soggy NHS sandwich!
She's got a hefty bandage on her foot up to mid calf and has to go back in two weeks to get the stitches out and a lovely blue velcro fastening shoe like those they give out when you're in plaster! I'm away in 2 days so I'm leaving her in the capable hands of my sister and Mike.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
For those from further afield who don't know about the story, Jack, who was 10, was knocked down and killed last Thursday in an Edinburgh housing area not far from where I grew up. He was crossing the road at a pedestrian crossing on a green man, the traffic lights at red but the driver of the car that hit him headed straight through them passing stationary vehicles who had stopped at the lights as he did so. The driver was travelling at the time at an estimated speed of 80 mph. It was about 3.25pm, that time of day when the kids are getting out of school and making the walk home. Jack was just 200 yards from his front door. The driver hit him, left him for dead and kept driving.
It has emerged the car used was a former police car designed for high speed chases. It was a peugeot 406 GTX V6. It has also emerged that police were chasing the vehicle in the lead up to the accident following another incident in the Corstorphine area of Edinburgh. This wee revelation has led many to question why the hell the police saw fit to chase a car at speeds of up to 80 mph through a built up that they must have known would be full of kids at that time of day...the area the chase went through is home to at least 4 primary schools.
The driver, who was accompanied by 2 other passengers, then dumped the vehicle in the car park at Saughton Prison and all 3 were seen making a run for it. They have yet to be found.
Bizarrely, last Thursday we had gone into my Mum's at 4.15pm. My Mum lives within stone throw distance of Saughton Prison and her window actually looks onto the Prison car park. We seen the police out in huge numbers, they were doing door to door and had cordoned off an area in the prison. We watched it all from the window in Mum's lounge and we commented on how something big must have happened. You get a bit blase though and having grown up next to the prison we had witnessed on a number of occasions police in the area and it was normally linked to an escape or attempted escape. Sadly this one was linked to a wee boy being needlessly killed as we found out later.
It has left that horrible feeling that you get when you hear of the death of a child especially one from round "your neck of the woods". In this case it's a bit more sad for me as I actually know Jack's Mum as we are former work colleagues. My heart goes out to her and the rest of Jack's family and friends.
I hope they find the bastards who have robbed Yvonne of her little boy, who have stolen precious memories yet to be made, who have cut that wee boys life short in the most senseless and needless way. To leave a child lying for dead in a road and drive off is a sickening act of cowardice and I hope those fuckers never get another nights sleep again, I hope their conscience eats at them eternally and the guilt kills them. For you can bet your ass that it will be along time before Jack's family sleep well again.
Rest In Peace Wee Man.
Monday, October 09, 2006
I've got a bit mad as we're looking much further afield than I would have a few years back. Once upon a time I thought this wee village of mine was in a land far, far away...well 6 miles from Edinburgh when you've been raised in the Big City and know nothing else seemed like far away! Now though we're looking a bit further off. Since we moved out here in 2000 the house prices have rocketed. Ours is now worth double what we paid paid for it, although I have to say anyone who pays the money required nowadays for a house like mine has more money than sense quite frankly! The prices have risen mainly due to location (and low intrest rates in recent times of course!) as we're slap bang between Edinburgh and Livingston and in the last 5 years Livingston has become a far more desirable neck of the woods and now has some of the best shopping facilities in Scotland.
Still to get the most out our money it's wiser to look further afield. To show the difference...a 4 bed detached house here about 10 years old would cost us about £270,000 where as in somewhere like Falkirk or the outskirts of Glasgow it would cost about £200,000 for a bigger, newer house. It's all about commuting distance to Edinburgh. The nearer you are the more expensive the housing. Glasgow doesn't seem to be growing quite as fast but probably due to there being a shit load more wee towns and villages on the outskirts over that way. Demand for housing won't be quite as high.
So we've looked in Lanark and a few wee villages nearby, Lesmahagow down the M74 from Glasgow and Newarthill just outside Motherwell. So far I've seen 3 I really liked but the locations have been wrong. We even looked at a townhouse in a converted church. It was beautifully done with high ceilings and original features mixed with very modern touches but it felt wrong. Kind of empty and it would be hard to make it a family home.
We've mainly focused on older properties as they are always much bigger. In fact we agreed we'd only look at older houses...until last night that is! There are so many new homes being built round the area that we decided to have a look online at the various developments nearer our current location. Two have caught our eye...they're new builds but much bigger than average and we'd gain an extra bedroom, en suite, family room, dining room and garage. So today since it's Geoff's day off I will be dragging him round a few showhouses!
In order to do that I need to go and drag the lazy sod out his bed...10.06am and he's still snoring. He's hiding up there till he hears the dishwasher start and the hoover stop which signals the all clear in the housework duties!
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Holy Shit!! We have just beaten probably the best team on the planet right now (no offence to world cup holders Italy!) us little old Scotland a team who under Bertie Voights couldn't beat an egg!
Well done Walter Smith, well done Gary Caldwell and well done to the Jambo's in the squad...Scotland's number 1 Craigy Gordon, Steven Pressley and Paul "so good looking it hurts" Hartley!
I watched the match on Tv with Geoff and his mate in typical Scots fashion...lots of shouting at the tv, mad cheering at the goal and a few beveridges to help it along. We rounded off the night in the company of said mate and his wife with a chinese and a few more beveridges!
It may not last. It may yet end up in us failing to qualify for the Euro Championship in 2008 but tonight we're top of a group that includes Italy and France and have a 100% record with 9 points from 3 games...tonight we're fucking unbeatable!!!!!
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
I've decided it might be time to move on so I've started looking at other houses and have arranged a few viewings for tomorrow.
I've ended my sex drought of a month twice over in last 24 hours...just don't tell Geoff (only kidding!).
And we're going on holiday on the 16th for 5 days. It's only Southport, I've never been to Southport but I wouldn't care if it was Portobello right now. The main thing is I will be out this house for 5 whole days, just me, he and the bairns.
So it's all good. Who'd have thought a trip to Southport and a bit of how's your Father could make a girl so happy!
Monday, October 02, 2006
That's where I'm at right now. Every day has the same ring to it and my weekends now merge with my week days with the exception that the kids are home!
In all honesty it's a wierd place for someone like me to be at. Don't get me wrong, I've never been a big dreamer. I'm nothing if not practical about life. I'm so basic and straightforward sometimes it hurts! I left school at 18 with a clutch of decent exam results under my belt and no idea what lay out in the big, wide world for me. In fact at 18 I didn't know there was a big, wide world. I didn't realise half the opportunites that where out there. If I had I'd more than likely be writing this from the USA. At 18 my big, wide world was Edinburgh and it's pubs and clubs.
I had no idea what sort of job I wanted, so much so that I couldn't even settle on a University course and ended up spending my first year after school partying in various establishments and living off a giro of £60 a fortnight. My year out I called it. Eventually though I fell into line, commenced employment, got married, had kids, moved to the suburbs. All very basic and straighforward. Everything that's expected of you.
However, underneath the practicalities of life, while not harbouring mad ambitions and unrealistic pipe dreams, there has always been a feeling of wanting something else. That feeling that something is still missing. In that repsect I have noticed an affinity with my Dad. Looking back it seems clear that he, like me, had that longing for a different life. He sat contented in his house for over 20 years but the very fact he was willing to give up that house for a "new life" at 56 shows he was after trying to find that elusive something.
So I guess I need to figure out what it is I want from this life of mine. On the surface I have it all. Nice house, good family, healthy kids, fantastic partner, holidays, cars in the drive...but I still feel unfulfilled.
Maybe it's a case of the black cloud of depression heading my way caused by a feeling of entrapment due to my recent troublesome butt (over a month in and I've got an infection, back on antibiotics, painkillers and still being packed and dressed almost every day!!!) or maybe it's down to the fact that it's hard to feel alive and attractive on strong painkillers when all you want to do is sleep cause you feel so woozy and slob about in trackie bottoms and a vest top. Poor Better Half will die of shock the next time I put on make up or straighten my hair (benefits to be had though that my make up free skin is looking remarkably healthy!) I seriously doubt he'll ever find me attractive again! Did I mention he is now the one packing my wound? No? Well he is...shoving the packing in with a remarkably gentle touch for a big laddie. How attractive is that? It's not really the kind of anal action your man's after is it?!!! Talking of which, don't even get me started on my sex life. The bloody logistics of finding a position without hurting my ass and back is enough to send you to sleep, if the painkillers haven't gotten there already!
Of course maybe being entraped has given me too much time to think about my life. Too much time to think about what I could be doing. Too much time to sweat the small stuff. Too much time to compare my life to everyone else's. We all know how dangerous thinking can be!!
I think I'm possibly going stir crazy now. I've upped my bleach obsession to crazy levels. Nowhere is safe...I'm surprised there's not a hole in the bath from all the scrubbing. The mop is seeing more action than it has in a while and god forbid anyone leaves my bedroom without closing the door behind them. That has more to do with the dog who is currently my number one enemy right now. I've developed a serious dislike to her and her bloody dog hair. Yet another addition to my life caused by my arse...I'm at war with germs and dog hair. Am I filling a gap or is it because I'm obbessive about infection now? Who knows?! Really the poor dog should be my new best friend...after all she's the one here with me day in, day out!
Fuck it. I'm going to make a "To Do" list! That always cheers me up! I'm going to write a big list of everything I want to do or need to do and I'm going to bloody well start ticking them off from tomorrow. No point starting today....there's a bar of chocolate in the fridge, the kettle's boiled and there's a true movie on the planner with my name on it...anyway I'm pissed off and the emegency sure is always chocolate and a cup of tea!