Saturday, December 31, 2005
Last Hogmanay (New Year's Eve, Old Year's Night...whatever you call it) I couldn't wait for the bells to kick 2004 into the past forever...I spent a quiet night with Better Half (who has a name by the way....Geoff!) and a couple of good friends and raised a glass to the end of a shit year!!
This time I'm going out to see in the New Year...with gracious thanks to my Sister who is having the kids to stay with her tonight and my Sister's Ex-Husband who is actually doing the babysitting!! So we're spending the New Year at the club with my Mum (who has just told me she's got a sore back but feels she has to go out anyway because the one year my Dad didn't was the year he died and she doesn't want to tempt fate!!...see what I have to put up with!!!) and friends. We get a great view of the Fireworks at the castle from the club and everyone stands round to watch. There's no place like Edinburgh for Hogmanay...and no race in the world that does New Year like us Scots...everyone should be here at least once in their lifetime to try it!
I'm a bit concerned that going out inevitably means you need to go home agian and this means you end up being your own First Foot...when in fact it should be a tall, dark haired man carrying a lump of coal and /or shortbread and a dram...please tell me I'm not going to have to explain what First Footing is...yes Lee I'm talking to you!!...However I may go and knock up a neighbour to come and do it for us!
The house is tidy...another Hogmanay tradition, out with the old and in with the new...superstition has it that if your home is dirty on Hogmanay it will be dirty all year...and there's a drink in the house for anyone that wants one...another tradition...you need to have an open door for the New Year and offer anyone who comes knocking a drink!
So I best get going...I've only got 4 hours till I'm leaving and you men all know how long it takes us girls to get ready!!
Before I part though I'll leave you with the words (at least the ones we all know and not the 2 verses in between!!) that everyone will have on their lips at about 12.05am....
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o' auld lang syne
And for auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne,
And there's a hand, my trusty freen!
And gie's a hand o' thine!
And we'll tak a right guid willy waught,
For auld lang syne.
And for those who don't speak in Scots tongue here's the English translation...
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
And days of old long past.
And for old long past, my dear
For old long past,
We will take a cup of kindness yet,
For old long past,
And there is a hand, my trusty friend!
And give me a hand of yours!
And we will take a right good-will drink,
For old long past.
So raise a glass at midnight and think of friends and family absent and those who are no longer here to see another New Year...and then look forward to 2006 and all it has in store, I hope it is full of wealth, health and happiness for you all, especially Steven & Steph and Lee, Jordan, Raeannyn & Angelina whom I can't offer a drink too or give a kiss and a wish of a good new year to in person!
A guid New Year tae aw' o' ye, aw the best when it comes...
I agree whole-heartedly that Christmas should be about more than the presents but that would be in an ideal world and we all know damn fine we don't live in one of those...if we did we wouldn't be having this discussion would we?
I love the Christmas story. Mary, Joe, Baby Jesus, the donkey, the wise men, angels and kings...it's a universal tale we all know well but I am not religious. The faith I did have that there was a higher being was tarnished when I saw a family suffer the devastation of watching their Mum die slowly of cancer...a good, kind, religious woman, who held her faith in Christ up like a beacon for others to see. My faith was crushed when I lost my Daddy...a big, brave, funny, loving man with everything to live for who was stolen with no warning. My faith was wiped clean away when I stood by a graveside watching a young couple bury their first born child, a new, innocent life who had done nothing to deserve being taken. So I no longer bow my head when asked to pray to God/Jesus. I no longer believe he loves and protects me. I now prefer instead to believe in Guardian Angels who guide us through life, who help us enjoy the good times and pull us through the bad.
I hold no grudge or issue with anyone who believes anything different from me...each to their own. Lee has her faith and it works for her...I may not share it but I'm glad she has something that she can hold on to.
Maxz made the point that he was disturbed about the amount of gifts that landed in my home at Christmas, that I may be better off sharing my "excesses" with others around me, that maybe my priorities are wrong and I am spoiling my kids. Fair comment. I know there are areas of the world with devastating poverty and that South Africa is one such place which does have problems of this kind but I live in Scotland...a part of the 3rd richest country in the world and I know damn fine that what appeared as gifts in my home on 25th December was pretty much what appeared in houses all over Scotland (and the rest of the UK) on the same day. You only have to look at the news to know that...Scots spent £13 million pounds in the week running up to Christmas.
I make no apology to anyone for spoiling my kids at Christmas. I work to afford it and every item was bought and paid for. My kids are a blessing. I count myself lucky to have been given both of them and I take my job of Mum very seriously. My kids get what I can give them but they also know the value of what they get...they have rules and if during the year they want something they know they need to earn it. They have manners, they know they need to respect their elders, I explain how lucky they are while we watch news pictures of others less fortunate, I make sure they know the world doesn't owe them a living and I make damn sure that when they don't want to finish a meal they know others are dying of hunger. I get so much joy and laughter out of my kids...and if I spoil them at Christmas then so be it! Show me a parent who doesn't or who wouldn't if they had the means??
I alone cannot change the mass poverty in the world. If I could I would. My giving my kids one present each at Christmas will not change the world. As for donating my "excesses" to others less fortunate in my neighbourhood...like I said I live in Scotland...in a small village, full of middle class homes, with neat gardens and well kept homes, where almost every home has 2 cars in the drive so I can't see that they'd need a food parcel from me! Don't get me wrong...we have poor people in Scotland...that's the reason I donate to charity, but we also have a whole host of people who are poor through choice. Women in their 30's who have never had a job....not because they can't get one but because they are happy living off the state with numerous children they can't afford to keep running around their feet. Men who are happy to let others keep them while they father children left, right and centre...do they deserve my pity and my help? In any event they get it because people like me and every other working person in the land who pays tax is paying to keep them anyway.
I'm not perfect...none of us are but I do my bit for others...only I choose who, when and where to give my help. I do not see sending gifts to Lee and her kids as charity or help, I do not look at it as sharing my excesses...she doesn't need either...she is richer than most in a way material minded people will never understand. I sent gifts to put a smile on the faces of 3 kids who have taken a few knocks this year to let them know they have friends in other places who were thinking about them. I sent Lee a gift to let her know the same, to hopefully put a smile back on her face and let her know she has a friend way over here with an open door and an open mind...if she needs it. Lee is trying to make a better life for herself and her kids and that is to be commended...the power of the internet is that it allows you to "meet" people you never would in normal life...as far as I'm concerned she is my neighbour and yes I gave them gifts too!
So while some may believe Christmas should be about a little gift each and sharing excesses and others think it should be about Christ...I believe it is all about family and friends...extended or otherwise. After all the story is about the birth of a new family member. So I'll keep spoiling mine at Christmas and any other damn time I feel like it without guilt over the rest of the world.
I have only one fear in life and that is regret...
I will enjoy what I have while I can...spoiling my kids, travelling, buying too many shoes, eating too much. For who knows when it will all come to an end? I may wake up tomorrow with nothing...or I may not wake up tomorrow at all.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Here's how my lounge looked at approximately 1am on Sunday morning...
Please accept my apologies if Santa didn't make it to your house but I have a feeling there would have been little room on the sleigh for anything else and anyway Santa very probably put his back out carrying this little lot in!
It took the kids (4 of them) 2 hours to open this little lot...they were up late though rising at 6am instead of 5am which was a bonus!
I am now coping with the aftermath of Santa's visit trying to find places in their (already bursting) bedrooms for all this stuff. All I have done today is open bloody boxes and untie plastic wires...why do they feel the need to secure the toys with so much damn plastic wire anyway? I now have so much cardboard outside that I could build a homeless person a mansion...with a granny flat!
One good thng to come out of this is the fact that Santa will be able to give us a miss next year because between my 2 terrors and my niece and nephew I don't think there's a toy that exsists that they haven't got.
Saturday, December 24, 2005
One of the regulars at the club, a lovely man named Willie McNair sadly passed away a few days ago. His death is a real shock as he always seemed so full of life...but I know only too well that the grim reaper likes to use the element of surprise. Willie will be sadly missed around the place, he always had a smile for you and a word to say and was involved in so many of the clubs social activities.
So again this year I will be at a funeral over the festivities...it's becoming a tradition in our house and one I'd like to break as fast as possible.
So while I am enjoying the company of freinds and family tomorrow I will be sparing a thought for Willie's wife Ann and his children and grandchildren. All they will want from Santa is the one thing they can't have...I know the feeling as I still only want one thing from Santa myself that I know I can't have.
I'm escaping to work from 6 until 11 tonight and will return home, having made 2 stop off's to collect presents, at about 1am when I will sit down with a glass of wine before playing Santa and getting all the pressies in and placed in the lounge for the morning. I've no idea how the hell I'll get all of them in there, along with the gifts for the 4 of us I also have my Mum, Sis, Niece and Nephew coming to stay over tonight so I need to find room for all their gifts too! To give you a taste of Christmas Chez Mitchell I have a small shed (used normally to house the kids bikes!) full of presents for the kids, about 30 already under the tree and piles more in the car...my Mum has a car full to bring with her and I've to pick up more after work and my Wee Sis will also have a car full! I live in a modestly sized 3 bedroom semi so this could get totally out of control!
Tradition dictates that we will be up at about 5am with the (very excited) kids and the present opening will commence! This will take a couple of hours and then it'll be breakfast for 8 followed by a mass fight for the bathroom to get ready to head out for lunch at 12! As we're travelling into Edinburgh (about 6 miles away) I'll be driving so I can't even have a bloody drink to help cope with the stress!
However when we get home again about 5pm I will be opening a bottle of something and making the most of the festive season before falling into bed late tomorrow night exhausted but happy!
So here's to a house full of roboraptors, nintendo ds's, ipods, dolls, ps2 games, cd's, King Kong's, Bratz dolls, scooby doo's and various other creatures, noise, nonsense and laughter - which is just as it should be!
Whatever you are doing I hope you have a great, safe, happy, love filled Christmas!
Friday, December 23, 2005
So to put you all out your misery...here's the words!
It was Christmas Eve babe
In the drunk tank
An old man said to me, won't see another one
And then he sang a song "The Rare Old Mountain Dew"
I turned my face away
And dreamed about you
Got on the lucky one
Came in eighteen to one
I've got a feeling
This year's for me and you
So happy Christmas
I love you baby
I can see a better time
When all our dreams come true
They've got cars big as bars
They've got rivers of gold
But the wind goes right through you
It's no place for the old
When you first took my hand
On a cold Christmas Eve
You promised me Broadway was waiting for me
You were handsome
You were pretty
Queen of New York City
When the band finished playing
They howled out for more
Sinatra was swinging,
All the drunks they were singing
We kissed on a corner
Then danced through the night
The boys of the NYPD choir
Were singing "Galway Bay"
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day
You're a bum
You're a punk
You're an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy Christmas your arse
I pray God it's our last
The boys of the NYPD choir
Still singing "Galway Bay"
And the bells are ringing out
For Christmas day
I could have been someone
Well so could anyone
You took my dreams from me
When I first found you
I kept them with me babe
I put them with my own
Can't make it all alone
I've built my dreams around you
The boys of the NYPD choir
Still singing "Galway Bay"
And the bells are ringing out
For Christmas day
So now you know!
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Marks and Spencer food hall with only 2 days before Santa comes?? Last year I witnessed a fight, and I do mean a fight, between 2 middle aged respectable women over a ready to roast turkey crown and another between 2 younger women over a packet of ready prepared vegetables.
Why I'm putting myself through this is beyond me given that I'm going out for Christmas lunch and therefore do not need anything but that dread that someone will appear on my doorstep for a visit and I'll be all out of dips and nuts is enough to send my scuttling off to do battle. So I'll put on several layers of clothing and my boots and brave the elements of M&S - it's not going to be cold but the layers will help stop me getting bruises from other rabid women shoving me out the way and the boots will protect my ankles from trolley rage!
I'm feeling a bit better now than I was earlier this week...I'm not fighting fit but if anyone dares argue with me over the last packet of pretzels I'll be strong enough to hold my own!
I'm off to bed now because I'll need all my strength. Wish me luck.
You can't go in a shop without hearing Noddy Holder screaming out "It's Chriiiiissstmaaas" and I've lost count of the times I've heard Wizzard wishing it was christmas everyday or indeed The Jacksons telling us about Frosty The Snowman's happy disposition.
Don't get me wrong I don't mind a bit of Christmas music but when it's been on repeat everywhere since 1st november it does start to piss you off ever so slightly!
Still there are a couple of Christmas tunes I don't mind hearing again and again. One being Wham's Last Christmas which always brings back memories of my primary 6 school disco and the boy who bought me the single for Christmas and the orignal (and definitely the best) version of Do They Know It's Christmas.
Then of course there is the best Christmas song ever written which I will never ever get fed up hearing and which would make it into my top ten favourite songs of all time and that is the fantastic Fairytale of New York which still gives me goosebumps everytime I hear it.
It is the most amazing piece of storytelling and if you've never heard it (how fucking sad would you need to be not to have heard it?) then go and find it on itunes or similar and listen to it right now.
The hall was packed with parents, all with camcorders and digital cameras ready to catch the action for prosperity...or more likely for the sole purpose of embarrasing their offspring in their teenage years...or is it just me that thinks like that?
Anyway along came a bright star and behind it the wise men and onto the stage strolled my very own wise man complete with gown, crown and big cheesy grin.
I had reservations about how 5 year old would cope with the spotlight...my reason being that during the main school concert which was earlier this week, 5 year old was spotted picking his nose and counting the light fittings rather than singing! I'm pleased to say there was no nose picking today but there was a lot of yawning and the crown was getting swung around good style during the finale!
They were all really cute given most of them are still only 4 years old and they did the job well. I'm lucky because my kids go to a fantastic school. They encourage the kids to try different things and put a lot of emphasis on the fact that school should be fun...the kids are always doing something or going somewhere. Tomorrow is the last day of term and the school hold a raffle when the kids can win prizes...the kids love it...when 9 year old was 5 year old she walked out of school with about 10 prizes including the doll she had asked Santa for but that Mum couldn't get for love nor money...Result!
Anyway I better go and pamper and praise the Wise Man and after that it straight to bed for him as he's obviously tired!
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Off I went as my head (it's a weapon of mass destruction!) had decided it wanted to get Better Half one more thing. Being female (!!!) my car is running a bit low on petrol (which is girl speak for the red light has been on for about 30 miles!) so I decided to take Better Half's car as he is male and therefore always has petrol in his car...I knew men were useful for something.
So I get to the shop, make my purchase - actually I need to correct that - I made several purchases, it's not just my head that runs away with me, I think my eyes have problems to...they see things and my body instantly picks them up...I may need to seek help for this in the New Year especially when the credit card bill arrives! Anyway I digress, so I complete my transaction and head back to the car...slightly concerned for a split second because the car park is hooching (extremely busy for those of you not from Scotland) and I can't remember where I parked. I find it and decide to head to another shop for another random item my head has just told me to buy.
I get to the shop and start looking for a parking space. It's like wacky races, or musical parking with all the drivers spotting a space and seeing who can get in it first..."right the music has stopped find a bloody space or your out" style. Several minutes tick by and I'm going round in circles getting ever more annoyed by the lack of spaces and the amount of old women in Micra's fannying about taking 7 attempts to get in and out of various spaces and holding everyone up...then I spot one...I see ahead of me a lovely empty space...and it's calling my name! I head for it and swing the car round to enter the space and...Bump.
Oops! I only go and hit the bloody car parked in the space next door. I don't hear smashing or a major bang but I feel a shudder and know I've hit it. I get the car in the space and swallow the lump in my throat and get out to have a look...I'm greeted with a nice scrape on the corner of the front bumper...I glance at the other car...luckily the driver is not in it and there's no-one else around...it seems ok, no marks to be seen on it...so I do what all good drivers do in these occasions...I get back in the car and drive away...only as far as another space though...I had shopping to do!
So I complete my shopping...looking behind me all the time in case someone saw what I did and they're coming to get me...and head back to the car. Some need a stiff drink when they have a bump, some have a fag to calm their beating hearts, I needed the "kerching" of the till...I pull out a tissue and give the car a rub...thankfully the scrape is superficial and most of it rubs away...oh but deep joy because while I rub off the superficial scrape marks I also rub off a scratch in the paint and I'm now left with a nice white mark where the paint has come off...it is at this point I start feeling a bit sick...not because I've damaged the car but because I've damaged HIS car and he is going to kill me. I am dead and no mistake. I toy with taking it to a garage to be repaired but know in my heart that even if I bought a fucking exact copy of HIS car he'd know it was different. He'd spot a repair a mile away using his Man Radar or whatever it is he has that means he knows when I'm up to no good...I am panicking by this time.
I should confess that my fear is down to the fact that I once crashed his (brand new) car and caused over £1000 of damage...to be fair though it was snowing...anyway he went off on one big time and I was barred from driving his car for months!
However I am a big girl now and I can take it on the chin so I decide to confess what I've done...so I phone him (well I wasn't going to tell him to his face!) and I swear to god the conversation goes like this...
Me - "Hello, How's you? Do you still love me ?"
Him - "What have you done to my car?"
Fucking man radar I'm telling you!!!
So I tell the tale and hold my hands up to my crime and guess what? He doesn't even bother that much...well he calls me an arse but there's no shouting, swearing, screaming...I'm stunned!
All my worrying was for nothing!
Of course it turns out that he's not that fussed because the front bumper needs to be replaced anyway because HE hit an animal and caused £750 worth of damage to the car!
So I am relieved and he is cool about it. Phew...although he has barred me from using his car again...so I sent him for petrol for mine!
Sunday, December 18, 2005
I feel like shit. My head hurts, my bones are aching and my nose is altering from runny to stuffed up with alarming speed.
I could happily have hibernated in bed this morning but my Better Half's brother was coming today for a flying visit with my 1 year old niece and as we don't see nearly enough of her (or him) I made the effort to drag my butt from my bed. Once I had made the decision to get up and dressed I couldn''t be bothered going back to bed and have spent the day reading the sunday papers and watching t.v although I will confess to lying on the sofa fast asleep while Better Half watched Chelsea and Arsenal battle it out on Sky.
Personally I blame Ross and Nikki for my current plague. Both have been ill with a similar illness in recent times and obviously felt with this being the season of goodwill to spread the joy around. I am damn sure I will feel worse before I feel any better. Deep joy with Santa due in for milk and cookies in less than a week.
Really I could not have picked a worse week to get ill. The kids have a million and one things on this week - Brownie carol concert, school concerts, Nativity play...and I've still got my food shop and wrapping to do and a couple of shifts at work to fit in yet.
Oh and just to add to my woes, my wisdom tooth is playing up so one side of my mouth is swollen and aching. Yes I know I'm past 30 and shouldn't have issues with wisdom teeth but mine never came through properly and are still trying from time to time to stake their claim for a place in my mouth...
Och well. Not to worry. Luckily I am a female and not a male so I will be able to carry on as normal and get through the week. If I was male I would have had to lie dying in bed until at least Thursday...we all know how serious the man-flu can be.
Monday, December 12, 2005
I woke up in my own bed this morning (always a bonus!) feeling surprisingly fresh. This may be because I was only in the early stages of tipsy when I headed home instead of legless drunk, although it wasn't for the lack of trying.
Normal routine dictates that my drinking cycle should start with a few glasses of wine followed by my favoured tipple of Vodka/Lemonade...and if the routine goes to plan I should be beginning to feel no pain by vodka number 4...which is normally obvious by my urge to dance/sing on a karaoke.
However last night as I approached vodka number 5 nothing was happening, so after finishing said vodka I whipped £20 out my purse and sent Ross to the bar for tequila and aftershock shots. I reckoned this would tip the balance. It didn't and so it was onto vodka number 6...I was even more pissed off at the lack of effect when I realised we had been drinking doubles!
Ross proceeded to return the favour by extracting £20 from his wallet and sending me to the bar for more shots...this time we went for a mix and I think I ended up with apple sourz and midouri...there followed another vodka, a cocktail pitcher, another vodka and another cocktail pitcher...and lo and behold I'm still on my feet...shocking.
Despite only making it to giggly rather than legless I still enjoyed the evening. We ended up in a club which in my youth had been a great place to go...it's damn different now but there was a bit of reminiscing by Ross and I...I recalled that the club we were in was where I first developed a love of hip hop and Ross took me to the exact spot (right down to the floor tile) where he first fell in love and the exact spot (again down to the floor tile) where he lost his mind...I can't recall if both happened on the same night...I also got the chance to watch transfixed as Ross decided to test the restaurants "all you can eat" slogan to it's fullest meaning. I feared we might end up there all night...but just as he was pondering over whether he could get a carry out and literally carry out the entire buffet, we managed to escape!
One other bonus of the night was the fact that I came home still wearing my footwear. I normally return home with them in my hand because my feet are aching! Last night I made the really wise decision to wear brand new knee high 3.5 inch heeled boots...I have blisters like you would not believe today but I made it back with them on my feet and I'm damn proud of that achievement...especially as I had bright pink fluffy socks on under them!
Friday, December 09, 2005
I'm an eternal optimist, I like to see the best in people and usually do until gut feeling and instinct tell me different. So I'd like to believe that those who chose to rob you weeks before Christmas and take your kids Christmas gifts from under them did so because they are worse off than you are...my gut feeling though tells me that they are just scum. However, being optimistic I am sure they will get exactly what they deserve at some point...what goes around comes around. Not much comfort to you I know...
I could rattle of here how Christmas is too commericalised anyway and how it should be about love and peace and not what you can afford to give...but sadly the world doesn't work like that. Yeah it can be explained to the kids that there's no money for stuff...and bless them they take it in and tell you it's alright, but any Mum knows that deep inside they are disappointed and it just breaks your heart for them.
When I was a child my parents struggled damn hard to give my Sis and I what was on our list to Santa...my Dad was out of work and Mum working part-time but we got what was on that damn list every year without fail...I still have no bloody idea how they managed it...
I am a very lucky girl and I thank whoever it was that decided I was going to land on my feet. My marriage may have fell round my ears but I met a man, fell in love and got a chance to start again...and I grabbed it with both hands.
There's little someone like me who has been able to get the presents on the list this year can say to you without sounding patronising so I won't even try. I'm not going to tell you it'll all get better...or that you'll meet prince charming.
What I will say though is this...if I could jump on a plane today and come to give you a hug I would. If I could magic up your dream Christmas and give it to you I would. If I could bring all of you across here for the holiday's to share my Turkey I would. If I lived in Indiana and could have adopted your family for the holidays I would and I hope you know I mean it most sincerely and I hope you know that on Christmas day I will raise a glass and hope that no matter what, you and the kids are having a lovely day together.
On a more practical note I have something for you which I want to send to you...but I need an address to send it to.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
We missed out on our christmas jolly last year so we've got a year to make up for...I reckon that means we can drink twice as much then.
Last time round we stayed local and went to a pub near to the club for a meal and a few drinks. The karaoke was on and as usual it was the quiet one we had to watch...Ruth, a normally level headed and sensible sort was on it in a flash singing and strutting her stuff much to the amusement of us all.
Ross and I treated the place to a fine rendition of Frank Sinatra's My Way. Both of us have fine singing voices...well we all think we do when we're a bit pissed eh? After chucking out time we headed for a club and danced for a bit...although not on the dancefloor...
This year it's out for a traditional christmas meal...a chinese, then we're hitting the pubs and clubs of Edinburgh's city centre...so there'll be a fight, an arrest and a trip to casualty before midnight no doubt!
I'm sure it'll all be good fun because all the team get on like a house on fire. Well if you don't count the fact some of us can't stand each other and would rather stick nine inch nails in our eyes that have to sit next to each other at the table! There's only one way to deal with that though...just keep drinking till the room spins and then I won't know where I'm sitting never mind who I'm next to.
Whatever happens I'll be feeling no pain on Monday morning... because I won't be getting out of bed until Monday afternoon.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Right here goes:
If people from Edinburgh are Edinburgers, Folks like me born in Dundee are Dundonians, Glasgow folks are Glasweigans, Liverpool is full of Liverpudilians, London has Londoners, Manchester is crammed with Mancunians and Newcastle full of geordies...what are people from Cardiff called??? Now I know you'll give me bloody stupid answers like Welsh or Taffy or Stupid but I'm looking for the real answer!!
Better Half was no help he said they were sheep shaggers...but everyone knows they come from Aberdeen!
So what are they called then? Cardiffians, Cardifites, Cardiffonians? Actually what are people from Perth called? Or people from Southampton? Or Brighton? And why do I care?
This is what happens when I let my brian wander...it fills full of silly questions, anyway answers on a postcard to the usual address please!
Monday, December 05, 2005
What next? The 2 remaining Beatles getting back together as a duo for old times sake? Or maybe Gary Glitter securing a new deal and asking us again if we'd like to be in his gang...actually that's about as likely as Michael Jackson developing a taste for old women.
Mind you it's not all bad that these old groups are reforming, Five has a very gorgeous member called Jay whose pretty face I've missed in the last 4 years and at least I'll get some more use out of my Spice Girl platform trainers and union jack dress...
ps I don't actually have spice girl platform trainers or a union jack dress...I made it up...no honest I did...do you honestly think I'm the sort of sad person who'd have bought these things?...what do you mean yes?
I was there in March this year with Mum. It was her birthday treat and the two of us had a great time seeing the sights. Better half has never been before so it'll be fun showing him around. We're going Icelandair so he'll get to see Iceland as well and do the Blue Lagoon trip.
Of course the trip was our present to each other for Christmas and we agreed it was better than buying each other loads of stuff we don't need but as was always going to be the case I am unable to give him nothing to open on the day itself so have decided we'll spend £100 on each other so we'll have a few parcels to open.
I plan on buying him as much rubbish as I can for the money...I know secretly he was hoping for alloy wheels for his car but they went out the window for the New York trip...anyway it's his birthday in March so he might get them then.
Actually who am I kidding...I'll never be able to stop at £100, he'll end up getting the same amount of stuff he always gets from me and I'll be mad because he'll stick to the £100 agreement!
Oh well it's all about the giving eh?
9 year old's was really good although the run up to it being staged wasn't without drama...9 year old (who was at the time 5 year old) was originally cast as an Angel who helped guide the shepherds to the baby Jesus but she was relegated from this role by the teacher for misbehaving during rehearsals and was subsequently given the part of a stable pig! They have pigs and sheep as characters at our school so everyone gets a part! 9 year old was highly unamused by her new role...and so was I because I had to supply the costume which consisted of pink tights and a large pink long sleeved sweater, neither of which I owned and anyway I'd been hoping she'd have been Mary, the starring role...at our school though starring roles are given to the kids who try hard at school and follow the golden rules so 9 year old didn't stand a chance really!
5 year old is in Primary One this year so it's his turn. I was hoping for Joseph but alas it was not to be. 5 year old has got a main part though, he's going to be...deep breath...a wise man!! (I take it all back what I said about the wise men in my earlier post!) I'm kind of chuffed because it means he's doing well at school and I don't have to put him in pink tights!
5 year old is quite excited about it all...9 year old is still fuming about being a pig all those years ago...
On the same note...my 7 year old nephew Dean is also doing the Nativity at school this year, he was cast as an angel but refused to do it because he didn't want to wear a white dress so his teacher said he could be a shepherd instead which pleased him a bit more until he found out that they also wear a dress...he's not a happy bunny but has agreed to be a shepherd because it's a more manly dress than the angels...still I wonder what he'd do if he went to the same school as my kids and had to be the stable pig...pink tights...I can't see it somehow!
Happy Harry is a toy dog which the Primary One kids get to bring home for the night. The kids get really chuffed if they get to bring Harry home because it means they are "special person" in class that day!
Harry comes with a diary and you need to write what you did the night you had Harry home. We had Harry a few months ago so this is our second time with him...5 year old is super chuffed!
Of course it's not enough just to write what you did with Harry, somone who had him early on decided to take photos of what Harry did when he was with them so now we all do that...the photo's are printed off and stuck in the diary along with your entry!
I like Harry, he's a really nice dog and a credit to his parents. He's very quiet so it's difficult to have a decent conversation with him but he is very polite and goes to bed when he's told to unlike 5 year old!
Last visit Harry played on the Playstation till his head was bursting...this time 5 year old showed Harry his new "hearts fc" bedroom and taught Harry a few football songs! Harry had to have Macaroni cheese for tea because 5 year old says it's Harry's favourite and of course Harry ate it all up so he got Ice Cream for afters. 5 year old and Harry are now in bed watching Scooby Doo.
Here's Harry and 5 year old...
And so ends another average night in the mad house I call home!
People have their trees up, fairy lights shine from windows, everyone is out buying their gifts, the children are excited, the weather is cold and crisp, women are making the house cosy for Christmas, food is being bought, cards are arriving, relatives are getting ready to go to their loved ones for the big day and throughout the land is a sense of magic and calm, everyone filled with Christmas joy...and if you believe that you'll believe anything!
It's more a case of everyone being filled with stress and anger than Christmas joy. Have you noticed how we all become violence filled, crazed maniacs as Christmas approches? It's the same every year: Choas, stress and arguments and that's before the big day even appears!
Relationships and marriages suffer as husbands/partners/boyfriends are dragged round the shops by their other halves to purchase the necessary presents. The men would rather eat their own hands than have to be standing in a queue in Argos, especially on a Saturday afternoon when the footie is on.
Grown women fight with each other to grab the last Bratz doll or Power Ranger off the shelf in Toys R Us and normally placid Ladies get trolley rage fighting to get their sprouts and turkey in Marks & Sparks food hall. As for finding a car parking space in any shopping centre car park at a weekend...forget it! Families argue over where to put the tree and teenagers get pissed because Granny and Great Aunt Ethel are coming to stay so they need to clean their rooms and give up their beds.
Overdrafts get higher, credit card bills get higher and women get mad because despite all the hints, the other half hasn't been shopping for her present yet and she knows he'll leave it until Christmas Eve and she'll get a bra that's 2 sizes to big and crotchless pants that are 2 sizes too small or worse still a gift voucher!
I blame the wise men for all the hassles related to present buying...it's their fault we fight over car parking spaces, toys and turkey's...it's their fault we have to spend too much money...
I mean honestly...they rock up to the stable, not even knowing the family, poor Mary lying there puffed out from all that pushing, probably arguing with Joseph about who's baby it is and saddle sore from that bloody donkey ride and these 3 strange men appear bearing gifts...and because these wise men listened to voices and followed a star and felt the need to bring their gold, frankincense and myrhh as gifts to the baby we're all here arguing in Argos!
They started the whole present giving thing...so it follows that it's all their fault! Well I need to blame someone!
Monday, November 28, 2005
Bloody hell this could be truly embarrassing. I watched the documentary on tv a few weeks ago and felt a wave of nostalgia...I was a huge fan. True Take That fans have known for several months now that a reunion was on the cards. We have been waiting to find out if they would tour again and now they've announced that they will.
I can still remember the day they announced they were splitting up. Thousands of girls in tears and suicide helplines set up to aid those so overcome that they thought life wasn't worth living...Richard and Judy dedicated their daily agony phone in to Take That fans!
10 years on and those same girls who were in hysterics were cringing on their sofa's last week as the footage of them in their grief was re-shown during the documentary. I was a 22 year old woman expecting my first baby the day they split and I'm pleased to say I wasn't in tears or in need of the suicide helpline...
Sis and I used to have posters of them all over our room. Back then she was very much a Robbie girl and I was a Mark fan and the room was divided to show this! We bought the cd's, taped everything they were in off the tv and kept it...I still have it to this day, we went to all the tours, bought magazines with them in and t-shirts...you name it we wanted it...The money spent doesn't bear thinking about!
So now they're back again. Of course it can never be the same. For one thing the boys are all a decade older and I can't see them breakdancing or wearing rubber anymore, for another those screaming girls are now mostly Mum's like me...more importantly there's still no Robbie...
Still I went to see Wet Wet Wet a year ago on their reunion tour and I was instantly 15 again...Marti Pellow is still gorgeous (if a little haggard from the heroin) and the voice still there. The audience had all been there before and were all a good bit older than the last time we saw them in Glasgow but the atmosphere was still the same, the women still screamed and everyone sang along...I hope the Take That gigs are the same.
I will dust off my dungaree's, dig out the video, get my dummy round my neck and queue for my tickets...for deep inside me there is a teenage girl still lurking desperate to get out...I shudder to think what would happen if Wham! reformed!!
And if all we get from this reunion is one more chance to see the guys live before they drop into obscurity again then so be it.
So forget Westlife and Boyzone and all hail the original and best boy band of the 90's and naughties....
None of us were old enough to have gotten into the cinema to see the movie when it was first released...I was about 4 at the time but being in my (very early) thirities I was part of the "John Travolta was a god" era. You know, the same age group of women who worshipped John Taylor from Duran Duran and who dreamed of marrying George Michael long before we knew he batted for the other side and who proudly wore t-shirts with "Frankie Says Relax" on the front.
Sad but true.
So we sang our way through the performance in our best Bee Gee's voices, much to the embarrassment of children and the whole place was on it's feet dancing along at the end even the kids!
It's not the best show I've seen but it was a good night out and strangely enough 9 year old has asked me to download the soundtrack for her...I won't be downloading it though because I already have it...it sits alongside my Wham and Duran Duran CD's.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Mmmm. I'm not sure about making it that easy yet. As I've already said I normally go in all guns blazing. I'm not hugely confrontational but when I'm pissed people generally know about it.
In the intrests of fairness and logic though I feel it may be an idea to gather opinions on the matter and ponder them over. After all some of you folks on here give not bad advice!
So for the benefit of allowing you all to make a judgement on my revenge here's the actual chain if events...
I have known this "friend",who we will now name X, for about 5 years. She is in her mid-thirties. In that time we have partied together, cried together, laughed together, gossiped together, got drunk together, even been on holiday together. Her kids are ages with mine and we live 100 yards from each other.
Each year around Christmas we have a night out...there are 8 of us that go, all couples. Last year X got hideously drunk...which she blamed on having her drink spiked! So nothing to do with the fact that she mixed her drinks all night and regularly gets into that sort of state. X became abusive and eventually was dragged away and after falling down drunk...in a 4 star hotel I might add, very classy behaviour...she was taken home.
None of us spoke to each other for the next 6 months...I hadn't fallen out with her and had said nothing wrong on the night. She had fallen out with better half. Eventually the move was made to patch things up. I called her and tried to sort out what had happened all those months ago. It seemed to work and we agreed to put it all behind us. A week or so later at another mutual friends house I met her for the first time in ages and as per the script she was slightly pissed when I arrived. She basically spent the next hour and a half taking the piss when ever she could and doing her utmost to get me to rise to it...which I didn't. She spouted out all sorts of lies about the infamous xmas night out and blamed everyone but herself for what happened. I left, having bit my tongue, but was absolutely raging. I told the other people who had been out that night what she had said and they too were less than happy at her.
Amazingly she denied all knowledge when confronted by another friend despite that fact that she had accused this friends husband of spiking her drink and said she'd reported him to the police. Again I made the move to sort out the shit she had caused. Again everything was to be forgotten and we all agreed that we could never go back to being as close as we all were but we could still get togther now and then and at least be civilised adults.
So I invite them all up to mine for a take away and a drink...I figured the sooner we all got back to normal and got together to put everything behind us the better...everyone agreed to come and the date was set for 6 weeks away.
The gathering never took place.
The reason for this I can't say without letting them know what I do...and I don't want them to know yet. When I found out...and I always find out...I cancelled the whole night without a word to anyone why. I have since got a few more nuggets of wisdom which have prompted the already festering anger I had to start bubbling away nicely.
In all honesty I have made every effort with this piece of trash and I am now at the end of my rope. I have held my fucking tongue even when she tried her best to get me to react. She even informed me I had called her 9 year old a "fanny"...wrong I called him "rude"which he was... but I let it ride.
I have not spoken her name to anyone in weeks and I said and did nothing to her at the Xmas night out...in fact I was the one who tried to help her out of the mud when she fell on her arse.
Yet somehow I have come out as the baddie here...could it be that she has been helped to this conclusion by others? Most possibly. Forgive me for being cynical but one other "friend" who has stated time and time again that she's not getting invloved has been distant in the least for a good few months now. There was a time when she would be on the phone asking if I fancied a glass of wine but it seems X now gets the call. Mmmm. All the while X smiles and waves as if nothing has happened and as if she still likes me...even though she's made it damn clear she doesn't.
What pisses me off is knowing that she'd have sat in my house, playing nice, acting as though all was forgotten yet just days earlier she was slating me to others.
So that's basically it. So what's a girl to do? I'm still for slow-burning revenge myself but if you know better let me know.
Sunday, November 20, 2005
For example I can't stand people with no manners. I also have a general dislike for people who are nice to your face but slate you behind your back, especially when they haven't got the balls to say it to your face. I also can't be arsed with people who are involved in conflicts but pretend they're not while all the time getting more and more invloved. I also have no respect for people who would rather not talk to you but pretend that they really like you.
Sadly I know one such person who has all these traits and bizarrely enough she is a so called friend.
There have been a fair few up's and down's with her over the last year and despite the fact that everything is supposed to be sorted out now I have been unable to shake the feeling from my gut that something has been going on behind my back.
Luckily I am a clever girl and smarter than the average dumb fuck. I now have the information I have been looking for to confirm my gut feeling and now know without a shadow of a doubt that this "friend" is in fact a two faced cow.
It's a pity really because we've had some good times over the years and she has a damn fine sense of humour. I wouldn't say we were ever really close, unless you count the times I've held her up to stop her falling over drunk or tried to lift her out of bushes when she's fallen down drunk, but we were once quite good friends. However, I have suspected for a few years now that she had a devious streak to her.
Gut feeling is always a good thing to have and I tend to go with it in most cases because it's nearly always right. Of course it helps when what you suspect about someone is backed up by "mutual friends"...seems some who have known her a hell of a lot longer than I have already have her marked as a prize cow.
Still like I said we have had some laughs in the past and it's a shame things couldn't be different. I've tried to sort it out with her this year...I've made the phone calls, I've invited her to my house, I've shrugged off her comments and her lies for the sake of the fact that she does have the ability to be a nice person.
Now I should, for the sake of fairness, admit here and now that I am no angel myself. I bitch and gossip as much as the next woman but the thing is I whatever I say behind your back, if you ask me, I'll say it to your face. Pity she's never asked...
So now I know what I do, what on earth shall I do with the knowledge I have? I could go to her home and tell her what I know...but that would give me source away. I could just cut ties with her totally...but that would be too easy. I could lose my temper and slap her clean across the face...but the buzz of doing so would wear off too soon. I could keep what I know to myself...but that would just be silly.
So instead I'll bide my time a bit and have a bit of fun with what I know. Normally I'm all for jumping in with both feet and causing fireworks but this time I'm going to play clever because I can. It'll be more effective that way because while she is a prize cow I am a prize bitch and I have one thing she doesn't and that's a fucking brain.
Like the saying goes revenge is a dish best served cold.
I feel this little post makes it one-nil already.
Monday, November 14, 2005
She's a really nice lady and it's both nice and scary to see she's been on here.
Nice because Phylis was always really good to me whenever I visted her home in my younger days and she was a great role model mum!
Scary because some of the stuff written on here and commented by me on Ross' blog is not the sort of stuff I'd like her to be reading!! I've been swearing and all sorts!!
Still she reads a damn site worse on Ross' blog I suppose!
Anyway nice to hear from you Ross' Mum and I hope you're well!
Friday, November 11, 2005
It was bad enough when 4 year old became 5 year old but this is just nonsense. How the hell can she be 9? What happened to the other 8 years?
It is scary how quick the kids grow up. I still look at her and see the cute little toddler that used to run around the place singing and looking in the mirror at every chance. Actually she still does the singing thing...and the mirror thing come to think about it.
I suppose I'm lucky. I have a 9 year old who still wants to climb on my knee for a cuddle and still wants a kiss as she goes into school despite that fact she thinks she's one of Girls Aloud and would happily dress like one of them given the chance.
She has asked fro a mobile phone and a Barbie Pegasus Styling Head for her birthday which I think sums her up totally...allRizzo from Grease one minute and Sandra Dee the next.
Anyway she's got the phone and the Barbie thing so she should be happy!
That's her above with 5 year old. This year's party is more traditional...we've booked a table at a restaurant of her choice so she can have dinner with her friends. Last year it wasa pink Limo which I really enjoyed and it was nothing to do with the free booze!
Happy Birthday BeccaBelle (not her real name but her nickname!)
Jenny xxx (or Mum!)
I am relieved and pleased and have lost the butterflies I have had in my stomach for the last few weeks.
Get Well Soon May.
I need to finalise my business plan...a little scary...and I have another meeting next week to discuss finance and proposals for investment.
The timescale is a bit up in the air...if everything goes alright I could be in within the next few weeks but it seems more likely and more sensible to wait until the new year now.
So for the next few days my head will be full of profit margins, stock levels and staffing issues while I fill this plan in.
This is where it starts to get serious I think...I only hope I can keep my sensible head on long enough to get it done!
Minneapolis was, as usual, fantastic. I had a great 5 days with Mum and Sis doing the shops. I spent a hideous amount of money at the BeneFit make-up counter in Macy's and more money than I should have in Old Navy but c'est la vie.
I also helped Santa out a bit by getting in a few things to save him the bother!
I have discovered that neither my Mum nor my Sis should ever get an automatic car...in fact Mum just shouldn't be allowed to drive at all never mind in a foreign country and Sis thinks that automatic means there is no hand brake!
I managed to boost my shoe collection by another 3 pairs which is always good and the only issue I have now is that I have no space for the clothes I bought for myself which are all still lying in my bedroom.
We took a bit of time out this year to do a few girly bits and pieces...manicure, pedicure and massage which was nice although I'm typing like a novice now that I have nails!
So I leave Scotland with one suitcase holding only a pair of jeans and 2 tops in it and return to Scotland with 2 large suitcases and a large hold all all full to bursting...sounds like a sucessful mission to me.
Oh one more word while I'm here...I flew Icelandair again this year and I need to say that the flights were fantastic, bang on time, large seats, loads of legroom and decent food. I've flown with a fair few airlines and they are definitely among the best.
Roll on next year...
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
It's not the place I'd want to have in normal circumstances but I'm being led by the potential more than what already exsists. The place has the potential to be better than it is and needs a bit tlc. I like a challenge so I guess that's why I'm intrested when my initial reaction would have been to say no outright.
Anyway if it all works out Better Half will be right beside me running the show and I couldn't ask for a better partner.
I've told a few people about it and alredy have people asking for work and I haven't even decided I'm going for it yet! That said I'll confess I've already given staff issues a thought and I reckon I'll need someone else who I can trust in their with me. I know who I'd like it to be but I'm not sure if it will happen although I'd be a better boss than they have now without question!!
We'll see what happens...I'll update you all next week once I've seen things for myself.
I'm off on my travels agian tomorrow and at around about this time I will be boarding my plane. First stop is Reykjavik in Iceland. Iceland is a strange place. I can remember last year, my first visit, thinking it was insane that at 2pm it was already getting dark. The landscape is desolate, very volcanic looking and if I'm being honest it looks pretty much like Sweden does in all those Ikea pictures. When you land you are whisked off in a coach for a swim in the Blue Lagoon which is just fantastic. Everyone should try it. The Blue Lagoon is a "geothermal spa" which basically means it's a naturally occuring pool of hot water with a very high mineral content! The name is very apt as the water is the most beautiful shade of topaz blue and the pool is surrounded by brilliant white rock all of which is natural. It's a bit chilly in Iceland at this time of year (-5 today) but luckily you can enter the water from an indoor area - soon as you get outside though everyone drops instantly to their knees to get covered by the water which is a warm as a bath. Last year is seemed very surreal to be in this lovely hot water in a swimsuit while the snow was falling on my head. You also get to try the natural clay face masks which is nice!
Following our wee stop off it's back to the airport to board the flight to Minneapolis. Bizarrely enough we get on the flight at 5pm and land in Minne at 5.20pm yet it will take a good 7 hours to get there! Ain't time changes a wonderful thing!
It's not far to the hotel from the airport once we land so all going well I should be in the hotel bar - vodka and cranberry in hand- by about 7pm.
For the next 4 days it's all shops, shop's, shop's! Minne is home to the largest shopping mall in the world and also a fantastic outlet centre and like last year I fully intend to make the most of them! My credit card is quivering already! Last year I sensibly thought that if I limited myself to about $300 a day I'd have more than enough money with me! Yeah right! I spent $700 in about 4 hours and that was on day one! This year I've taken a wee bit more cash with me...it'll avoid the need for me to find a cash point and rob my bank account like I did last year!
I'm not a mad designer bitch (luckily) and to be honest I love wandering round Wal-Mart for hours buying cheap clothes and accessories. Better Half thinks it's hysterical that I go across the Atlantic to shop in what is essentially Asda's! However my view is I'd rather spend $10 on a gameboy game for the kids there and buy shit loads of them than pay £30 here and buy them one! Anyway they have a massive Apple shop and last year I got an Ipod for less than half what I'd have paid here. The flight justifies the ending!
We're a little more prepared this year as we know what we're heading to. I've got empty suitcases and am taking nothing more than a few pairs of knickers, one pair of jeans and 2 tops. I'll buy anything else I need when I get there! Hopefully Mum and Sis will be doing the same so we won't need to sit for an hour on our cases to get them shut when we're heading home!
Have a great weekend y'all and I'll see you soon!
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
May lived next door to us for over 20 years and has known my Mum since she was just a baby when she would take my Mum out in for walks in her pram. She has been there with my family through the good times and the bad times along with her Husband Bill and a testament to how close she is is that her number was the first I rung when Dad died as she and Bill can always be relied upon in any crisis.
Now normally we are there for May and Bill as much as they are there for us but fate has dictated that we won't be around this weekend or indeed on Monday when she has her Op. We don't get back from the States until Tuesday. I'm a bit pissed of about this.
Yesterday we met up with them and Mum for lunch and it was a strange occasion. May looked tearful although she was her usual chatty self but when I gave her a hug in the car park she looked so sad and I couldn't help but think that she was saying goodbye to me in her own way...She is terrified, it's written all over her face.
It made me uneasy and a little sad to think that she feels she might not pull through this op. I don't know if she will either but I do know they wouldn't being doing it if they didn't think she had good odds. There is a high chance she'll suffer a stroke while she's under but it's a risk you've got to take when the alternative is that you could drop down dead from a heart attack at any moment. May's Dad did just that at a bus stop.It's a big operation but god willing if it goes to plan she'll have a much better quality of life and can get back to her dancing!
We'll just have to wait and see...fingers crossed.
Now though we seem to have adopted the American form and the kids come to the door asking Trick or Treat...I'm not always a big fan of doing things the American way but they have always been big on Hallowe'en and I love it myself so I'm all for this new change of ways.
Our street is a big cul-de-sac of 102 houses and there are a fair number of kids in the street all of whom from the toddlers to the 10 year old's were out last night in their fancy dress costumes. The good thing about it is the Mum's and Dad's get into the spirit as well...houses have decorations outside and the Mum's head to Asda (Wal-Mart if we're being American!!) and buy in sweets to dish out to little witches and wizards who come knocking. Most of the Mum's and Dad's go out with the kids and we all have a chat and frequently a glass of wine or two as we go round! It's not unusual to see Mum's and Dad's wandering round with masks and hats on!
A quick glance out the window last night and I saw a handful of witches, a good few wizards, a few skeletons, some cats and a princess! I am always reminded of that scene in ET when they go out trick or treating and take ET as a ghost!
I'm not sure why I enjoy Hallowe'en so much. Better Half hates it. He can't be arsed with all the knocks at the door and constant ding dongs of the bell. So he says anyway. Secretly I think he does enjoy it...after all he's often heard telling people he lives with a witch!
I assume he means 8 year old!
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Anyway, it was a good night. Craig or Uncle Chicken as the kids call him...I don't know why...plays in a band and has done for a number of years. We have never seen him perform with the band but know he can sing so we were looking forward to finally hearing them especially as his Mum-in-Law (not technically as he's not yet married) had told us how good they were in the way only proud parents can!
I have to say though she was spot on. The band are called BlackStar and they play regularly in clubs and pubs around Midlothian and are from what I gathered last night very well known by the locals and have a fair wee following...they are also very good.
Craig and the guys played for nearly 2 hours and the set included covers of U2, Kaiser Chiefs, The Clash, Neil Diamond (no surprise there), REM and a few rocked up versions of old 60's classics to keep the old folks happy!
Craig is a real character, a one off and his lovely girlfriend Lee (my sister in law but not technically!) looked every inch the proud rock stars Mrs!
I had a laugh at the end of the night...Craig and Better Half are both follically challenged and both stand over 6ft 3 tall,Craig is very slim but Better Half is built like a brick shithouse (as we say in Scotland). The sight of a drunken Craig wrapping his arm around his Big Brother and saying to me with a very serious face "Look at us...this is the real Mitchell Brothers" cracked me up!
Carig and Lee are due to tie the knot next July...I'm looking forward to it. Maybe Better Half and I will do the same sometime then at least we can get rid of all the "technicalities" in the family and Lee and I can offically join the Mitchell clan!
Happy Birthday Craig!
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
It's been ages since I was bitten on holiday. Last time it was a tiny wee jumping spider thing in Florida about 4 years ago. This time it was a mosquito, which is great because I am allergic to their saliva.
I've got 5 bites on my lower leg and feet and the allergy has caused my feet and ankles to swell hideously. I am like the elephant woman I kid you not. The bites are now big blisters full of gunge which keeps running down my legs and feet...nice eh?
Apparently these little bubbles of goo are my bodies way of fighting the infection.
I love my flip flops (In fact I love all shoes - Jimmy Choo's, Manolo Blahniks, Nikes...) but even I know that I looked a complete ass wandering around Newcastle at 2 am in the pissing rain in flip flops but it was all I could fit on my bloody feet!
I've now got a course of antibiotics, a cream and a course of antihistamines to take. I am starting to rattle when I walk!
One good thing is that the mossie bit while I was asleep on the night I had gotten very drunk so I'm kind of hoping the alcohol in my bloodstream would have gotten it pissed as well enough so it flew straight into a wall and died!
It was a good week. Got completely plastered the first night. Stopped in a few bars mid afternoon for a few beers followed up by a jug of sangria which Sis and I polished off between us. Headed back to the apartment to get changed to go out for something to eat...at least that was the plan but it got fucked up when Mum shouted to our balcony "Why don't you come through and have a wee vodka before we get changed?"
Needless to say we didn't make it out for dinner...instead we drunk a litre of vodka and a few large bottles of beer and dined on cheese and tomato sandwiches...went to bed very drunk but able to stand unlike wee Sis who was on her arse more than her feet and promptly went to bed and banged her head almost knocking herself out in the process!
We managed to behave for the rest of the time...the kids did get dinner every night after that!
Mum babysat one night so Sis, Better Half and I escaped to the town for a night. We headed off at 10pm and went to see Sticky Vicky who is a bit of a Benidorm Legend. Her trick being that she removes objects from her "Magical Vagina", razor blades, candles, pieces of ribbon...closely followed by lighting bulbs with her "bits" and for her best trick opening a bottle of coke with her aforementioned magical vagina. Good luck to any woman who at 60 odd is happy to prance around stark naked and gladly show you her beaver - and I must say she didn't look too bad for a woman of her age!
Next up was a comedian who had the audience eating out of his palm and in fits of laughter. He was followed by a hypnotist who did the usual caberet stuff. It was all good.
We finally staggered back home at 5.30am with sore sides from laughing.
My highlight of the week though was discovering that my Nephew can do the best impression of Peter Kay's character Max. Dean's "How dare you" is the funniest thing I've heard in ages.
Of course coming home is always a downer - especially as we got out of Newcastle Airport at 2.30am and then had to drive over 2 hours up the road. To top it off 5 year old decided he felt the need to wake from his sleep about halfway up the road in the middle of nowhere and puke all over my car seats which was nice. Thank the lord I went for leather seats is all I'm saying.
Still it was a good week. Really nice for us all to go together and spend some time with each other away from the hustle of our everyday lives.
Course Mum, Sis and I have a plane to catch in 8 days again so I'll look forward to that now!
Saturday, October 15, 2005
I'm going to be absent for the next 7 days as I'll be busy lounging around the pool, sipping sangria and eating Paella in Benidorm, Spain with all the troops.
We head off to the airport in about 2 hours. That's my one gripe about the whole thing, we're having to fly from Newcastle instead of a Scottish airport as they want to charge an extra £400 for the pleasure of going from a local airport. Daylight robbery!!
So it's a nice 2 hour drive to England on what is the shittiest road in the world..the A1.
Everything is ready to go...except the things I've forgotten and won't remember about till I'm on the plane..why is that always the case?
Anyway tickets, money, passports are all accounted for so that'll do for me!
"We're all off to sunny Spain y viva Espania"
Have a great week everyone.
She was 10 yesterday which quite frankly is bloody scary cause that's a decade and it means I'm getting old.
She was a lovely baby and has grown into a beautiful (not so little) girl. I think she gets her good looks from her Godmother which of course would be me! Yeah right.
Here she is with her little brother Dean at a recent wedding.
She was due to have a big disco for all her friends to celebrate reaching 10 but instead gave it up to head to Spain for a weeks holiday with all the family. Good choice Kennedy!
Anyway Happy Birthday Toots.
(ps - I promise not to mention snogging Jamie Tubby....oops)
(Auntie) Jenny xx
I'll keep you posted!
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Monday, October 10, 2005
Speaking of The Match...
I know I'm over 21.
I know I'm a Mum.
I know I should be past this sort of thing but one of the celebs taking part was Patrick McGuiness (comedian, writer and Peter Kay sidekick) and I am now besotted!
Yes I know it's utterly childish to still have celebrity crushes but who cares????
Tall, dark, handsome and funny...I can't resist!!
*Please note these pictures are purely for my own satisfaction!
I was totally addicted for a number of reasons. Firstly I like my Footie anyway but mainly because it was full of lots of young men in shorts and no shirts with odd bits of ass flashing for good measure!
Alas it's now all over - the celebs were beaten 2-0 in the live match last night, I arsed a bottle of wine and watched engrossed...not the ball so much but the thighs!
I stuck in a few names from my family to see what happened starting with me...
Jenny Shaw is a character. - Yep that's gotta be true!
Jenny Shaw is a virgin. - That's true as well (cough cough)
Jennifer Shaw is a single Mum. - Omen for the future?
Gillian Shaw is a fully trained mediator. - My Sis could start a fight with herself!
My Better Half...
Geoff Mitchell is a reciprocal spaceman. - Bloody space cadet anyway!
Samuel Shaw is lecturer. - Indeed I heard many during his lifetime!
"Choose something to add to the grave of Sam Shaw" also popped up which is a bit wierd!
Heather Shaw is a bizarre piece of surrealism with erotic elements. - What???????
Heather Shaw is just a nice girl. - Yeah I'll give her that one!
I did my son and daughter as well but as my Daughter has a really unusual surname nothing was found for her, my son though had the following result...
Jake Mitchell is a dangerous vision of manhood. - What can I say to that?? He gets it from his Father!
Monday, October 03, 2005
Well I already have more than enough t-shirts to be going on with so I'm not to gutted to have missed out on the big prize - Congrats to Karen who was the lucky winner by the way - I've decided I may just do something similar.
I know exactly what the winner's prize would be. It would need to be someone close to Edinburgh that wins though so I could deliver the prize cause the postage costs to send a 5 year old and an 8 year old through the post would be expensive!!
Thursday, September 29, 2005
In the bible we are told that He surveyed his work and He saw it was good. A man who took pride in his work then?
Let’s face it the Old Testament is full of instances of Him letting someone feel his wrath. I quote “The anger of the Lord burned against Israel” Samuel (24.1) Burning anger/Wrath - six and two threes if you ask me. There are many examples of the same. Seems He had an anger of biblical proportions which is highly appropriate!
Wording from the Ten Commandments - "You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord, your God, am a jealous God..." Says it all really.
A liking for young virgins, holy spirits impregnating them, Jesus hanging around with prostitutes…
Mmmm let me think. He wants to be the only Big Cheese in town and He would like us all to worship him. Seems He is not content unless he has Billions of us falling on our knees to Him and created us for that purpose. Now that’s just greedy.
Now here’s where He might redeem himself. He had no need for money after all. However His representatives here on Earth certainly do. All those American Evangelists on Tv “$100 to get you straight to heaven” and all that.
The Bible tells us "By the seventh day God finished the work He had been doing; so on the seventh day He rested from all His work.". Fair enough but as none of the work he did was physical why did he need a rest? Anyway if He is all seeing how comes He does nothing when His people are facing crisis? He may have created the Universe but Man has created all the really useful things we have today. What the hell has He been doing for all these years since His last project? Guess He’s been chilling out.
It's not looking good as far as setting an example goes is it now?
The Ten Commandments (Updated)
1. I am the Lord your God who brought you out of slavery in Egypt. Unless you’ve never been to Egypt or were a black slave in America in which case your God could be Martin Luther King.
2. You shall have no other gods but me. Except those who play for your favourite football team or indeed sing with your favourite rock group.
3. You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God. Unless you are angry, in pain, fed up, tired, excited, emotional, giving birth, delirious, happy, surprised…at times like this you may find use for the phrases Holy Fuck, Jesus Wept, Christ Al-fucking Mighty, In The Name Of God, Jesus H Christ, Fucking Crucify Me Why don’t You?, For Christs Sake, I Swear To Fucking God I’m going To Fucking Kill You.
4. You shall remember and keep the Sabbath day holy. Indeed wholly for lounging about reading the Sunday tabloids, eating and drinking.
5. Respect your father and mother. Unless they are complete fuck ups who have ruined your life or you do not know who they are.
6. You must not kill. Unless some bastard interferes with your child. This commandment does not extend to spiders who are free game.
7. You must not commit adultery. Unless you are sure you will not be caught.
8. You must not steal. From family or friends but major retailers that make millions of pounds in profits are a fair target.
9. You must not give false evidence against your neighbour. Unless they are the neighbours from hell in which case you are entitled to say what you like to get rid of them or drop them in the shit.
10. You must not be envious of your neighbour's goods. You shall not be envious of his house nor his wife, nor anything that belongs to your neighbour. However, there’s a good chance that you will and in such cases you will out do his home improvements, sleep with his wife and drive a bigger and better car.
I'm called after my Gran who was a May. Could have been worse I suppose she could have been an Agnes! I've only ever met one other person with the middle name May and that's my good fiend Nikki's little girl Rowan. Maybe there is something in a name because she is a lovely wee thing, individual, fiesty and always has a "thinking" look like she's summing things up. I predict big things for her!I was surprised to find out that May is the 5th most popular middle name for a girl in Britain.
Traditionally middle names are used as a salute to other, mainly older relatives. This is certainly the case in my family. My younger Sis has the middle name Heather after Mum and poor Mum got the middle name Williamina after her Grandad who was obviously William. My Dad was the only one of us without a middle name but his name lives on in my nephew Dean whose middle names are Samuel Ross after both his Grandad's!! My two carry middle names as well. 8 year old has Rebecca in the middle in memory of my Great Gran Becky and 5 year old carries the names Thomas Francis around with him in tribute to Better Half's Grandad and Dad.
I suppose many people think it's a bit uncool to use middle names as a bit of respect to another relative but I think it's lovely especially when you are the person being remembered! I recall being chuffed to bits when my Sis and her Hubby told me they had given my niece the middle name Jennifer after me.
Ross I know is one who was never a big fan of his middle name and so changed it, one person I know has the middle names Jemima Helen which is so strange it's brilliant and my other little niece carries the middle names Isabella Carmen which brings to mind a dark haired film godess instead of a little girl from Midlothian but as she's gorgeous and dark I think she'll grow into the name just fine!
Spare a thought though for a girl I used to work with who got landed with the middle names Isobel Theresa...sounds ok until you know her first name began with T and her surname was Spencer. Name on the cheque book? Miss T.I.T Spencer. As for the parents who called their son Paul Rory Ian Cameron Knowles...what the fuck where you thinking??
Sometimes in life we fall for the wrong person. Sometimes we fall for the right person. It's a gamble. If you're really lucky and all things are going your way everything works out just fine and then love is the warmest, happiest feeling you know. If the stars ain't on your side though love can be painful and leave you empty inside.
In life we all must take risks and relationships and love are full of risks. That and opportunity.
The world is full of people who have fallen for someone but missed their opportunity or been too afraid of the risks. How many times have we heard the excuses used for not pursuing someone we want. It's that same old lines everytime..what if it ruins our friendship? They might say no, they're with someone else, it's too long distance, I'm not pretty/thin/funny enough for them...
Time isn't always on your side and an opportunity missed is an opportunity wasted. I'm sure most of us have experienced that feeling in your gut when you realise that you've missed your chance and the object of your desire is now with someone else. Then you beat yourself up wishing you'd done something sooner. Too little, too late.
Personal experience has taught me to be bold in love. To follow the instinct. Better half was a married man when I met him. I was a married woman with a toddler. I had a list of excuses as long as my arm why I shouldn't take things further...but my heart told me to go for it and for once in my life I listened to that instead of my head and all the excuses it was full of and I jumped in with both feet.
It was the best thing I ever did. We've now been together 6 years and although we caused grief along the way, everyone involved is in a better place now especially me.
So to those of you pining for someone, for those of you wondering whether to make the leap...take a deep breath and jump. Think about it what's the worst that can happen? Yeah you could be rejected and suffer embarrassment but on the other hand you could just find yourself living out for real the things you dream about in your head.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
The reason for this isn't because I'm a minging cow who has't cleaned...it's because we're decorating.
Currently as I write I am in the kitchen. Alongside me are two bin bags full of old clothes, a pile of mail to either be discarded or filed away, 2 mirrors, shelves, nick knacks for the downstairs loo, a matress, pictures, pots of paint, rollers, trays and brushes. Luckily my kitchen is fairly big so there's still room for me!
We decided to re-decorate 5 year old's bedroom...I use that term loosely, why do builders assume that a room 8ft by 6.5 foot is any use to anyone?? Anyway I bought the paint, white and blue seeing as he's a boy and joyously showed my choices to 5 year old who instantly declared "I don't want blue, I want Maroon" before throwing himself to the ground in a complete hissy fit. My son, like the rest of my household is a massive Hearts fan, hence the desire for the Maroon paint of his favourite Fottball team! I still reckoned on the blue but was out voted when 5 year old called in his Dad who instantly agreed that Maroon was indeed a good choice.
So the room is now freshly painted in White and Maroon. Of course it didn't stop there. Oh no. The painting was followed by new flooring, a new bed (in the process of being built as I write this) and a new wardrobe, currently sitting in the downstairs hallway!
In addition to 5 year old's room, the downstairs loo and kitchen are about to receive the same treatment. I must be mad. Every good housewife will tell you though that Santa likes a nice house to visit! We do we always feel the need to decorate "for christmas"???
Anyway I'm off now to help with the flat pack building, we all know men can't so it alone!
Rumours are rife that she has got herself a boyfriend and I suppose in a way she has if you put a space between the words boy and friend.
Mum has a group of friends that she socialises with and amongst that group there is a man who like Mum is on his own following the death of his wife. I used to think that once you got past a certain age it was possible to hang around with a man without people automatically assuming you were together. It appears this is not the case!
Some of Mum's other friends who are not part of the immediate group have convinced themselves and anyone else who'll listen that there's a serious relationship in development. I think they can hear wedding bells and knowing how gossip can spread I can only assume that in a few weeks time my Mother will be pregnant!!
I find the whole scenario amusing. Mum on the other hand is more of a worrier. She doesn't like people talking about her. I suppose for nearly 40 years she was able to hide behind my Dad whenever things got rough and he wasn't one to stand back and say nothing! Both my Sis and I have told her not to be daft...let 'em all think what they like is our feelings!
For the record, Mum and the man in question are good friends. He escorts her to club functions and she has helped him measure his curtain lengths in his new house. Occaisonally they dance together and he will buy her a drink at the bar...shocking ain't it?
As far as I'm concerned anyone who has known my Mum and Dad as a couple for any decent length of time or indeed anyone who saw what the aftermath of my Dad's death did to her will realise that my Dad meant the whole world to my Mum, he was and is the only man she ever loved. That said let's remember that life does indeed go on and my Mum is a 54 year old woman with (god willing) plenty of life left in her. In the last few months she has tranformed from a woman clouded with grief to a woman full of life and that is a good thing as far as I'm concerned. She will never get over losing my Dad but if someone else's companionship is helping put a smile on her face then so be it!
I loved my Dad more than any other man on the planet. He was unique, handsome, funny, intelligent and the best Dad anyone could have wished for. No one will ever take his place in my heart but of course there will be room made for anyone who makes my Mum happy.
If she chooses to take her friendship further then I'll back her all the way. After all she , my sister and I all know the hard way that life is too short not to be happy.
Whatever happens, be happy Mum.
Friday, September 23, 2005
Today though I saw the nurse who decided to stick number 3 in my upper arm. I took 5 year old along for the ride and while I winced and screwed up my face in pain he lay on the table in the nurses room laughing at me. Nice.
It was a damn sight more painful getting the jag in the arm. My arm feels like lead just now and I can't raise it above elbow height without making strange faces and wanting to moan out loud.
Now not being able to use my arm tonight meant I would be useless behind the bar so I'm not at work which is a shame because if your going to be off work you should use the time to get pissed and go out instead of sitting watching tv holding your throbbing arm.
I need to cheer myself up. I'm off to e bay to buy things I do not need nor want but as painkillers have not helped I am going to see if retail therapy will!
Have a nice evening.
Friday, September 16, 2005
All through childhood I was a night person...always up late, living on little sleep. Once I started working I loved doing the night shifts and often had only a few hours kip each day. I always had bags of energy and was always up to something, going somewhere or planning something.
Then I hit 26 and things began to change. Following the birth of 5 year old my body decided to change the way it worked. Gone were the days of boundless energy and in came tiredness like I'd never had in my life. I could sleep for 15 hours a night and still be tired a few hours later. I was often freezing cold and I began to get headaches which would last for days on end.
The Doc's diagnosed depression and treated me for such but it made no difference. In any event I didn't feel depressed just bloody tired. 18 long months later I was told I didn't have depression I had hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid).
There's a barrel load of symtoms that go along with this illness...lethargy, weight gain, headaches, muscular aches, cold extremities, dizzyness, period troubles and many, many more. I have them all. Luckily once I begun treatment the tiredness eased off and the periods are now gone, the rest of it I put up with still but to a lower degree.
Recently though I noticed another wierd thing happening. The tiredness came back, the headaches became worse and instead of always having freezing feet and hands they now altered between freezing cold and boiling hot. Most worrying of all though was that I began to lose feeling in my feet and legs, and I noticed that my arms would turn purple. I also realised that I was getting pins and needles at least 7 times a day and that my hands and feet were constantly tingiling.
The Doc ran blood tests and we awaited the results. When they came back we were baffled. Everything was fine. She had ruled out neurological problems, diabetes, my Thyroid was ok, I wasn't lacking in Iron...it seemed a mystery.
She decided to run more bloods explaining she wanted to check my vitamin levels and folate levels. Today I got a call from her to say I am vitamin B12 deficient.
There are 2 reasons for the deficiency apparently, either you just don't eat enough foods that contain it or your body doesn't absorb it properly. Now given B12 is only found in animal products and especially red meat I reckon my reason will be the former. In fact when I told the Doc my diet consisted of pasta, tomatoes, crisps and ice lollies she was less than amused! I haven't eaten red meat since I was 11 years old although I do occasionally eat chicken and fish but apparently that doesn't cut the mustard in the B12 stakes. The Doc was kind enough to realise that despite the best thing being that I return to eating steaks it was not going to be an option for me. She didn't pressure me but understood it was a choice I had made over 20 years ago and there was no going back. The very thought makes my stomach turn.
So at last I have a reason for my new wierd symptoms. Funnily enough people with Thyroid conditions are more prone to B12 deficencies....now there's a shock! I think people thought I was making my symptoms up...I actually thought for a moment maybe I was going mad but I'm not. For a change!
Anyway I now have to get B12 injected into my bum 5 times in the next 2 weeks and then every 3 months for life...things moved kind of fast in this department. I got the call from the Doc at 12pm today and have picked up my prescription and have just returned from having my first prick in the arse!! My bum is now bloody sore but not to worry, if it means no more pins and needles then I'm happy.
Doc advised me to rest today after the injection to avoid bruising and to lessen any reactions I may get. Fat bloody chance I'm working tonight at the club!!
And so I leave you to sit on my sore bum until I leave to start pulling pints!