Saturday, December 31, 2005
Last Hogmanay (New Year's Eve, Old Year's Night...whatever you call it) I couldn't wait for the bells to kick 2004 into the past forever...I spent a quiet night with Better Half (who has a name by the way....Geoff!) and a couple of good friends and raised a glass to the end of a shit year!!
This time I'm going out to see in the New Year...with gracious thanks to my Sister who is having the kids to stay with her tonight and my Sister's Ex-Husband who is actually doing the babysitting!! So we're spending the New Year at the club with my Mum (who has just told me she's got a sore back but feels she has to go out anyway because the one year my Dad didn't was the year he died and she doesn't want to tempt fate!!...see what I have to put up with!!!) and friends. We get a great view of the Fireworks at the castle from the club and everyone stands round to watch. There's no place like Edinburgh for Hogmanay...and no race in the world that does New Year like us Scots...everyone should be here at least once in their lifetime to try it!
I'm a bit concerned that going out inevitably means you need to go home agian and this means you end up being your own First Foot...when in fact it should be a tall, dark haired man carrying a lump of coal and /or shortbread and a dram...please tell me I'm not going to have to explain what First Footing is...yes Lee I'm talking to you!!...However I may go and knock up a neighbour to come and do it for us!
The house is tidy...another Hogmanay tradition, out with the old and in with the new...superstition has it that if your home is dirty on Hogmanay it will be dirty all year...and there's a drink in the house for anyone that wants one...another tradition...you need to have an open door for the New Year and offer anyone who comes knocking a drink!
So I best get going...I've only got 4 hours till I'm leaving and you men all know how long it takes us girls to get ready!!
Before I part though I'll leave you with the words (at least the ones we all know and not the 2 verses in between!!) that everyone will have on their lips at about 12.05am....
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o' auld lang syne
And for auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne,
And there's a hand, my trusty freen!
And gie's a hand o' thine!
And we'll tak a right guid willy waught,
For auld lang syne.
And for those who don't speak in Scots tongue here's the English translation...
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
And days of old long past.
And for old long past, my dear
For old long past,
We will take a cup of kindness yet,
For old long past,
And there is a hand, my trusty friend!
And give me a hand of yours!
And we will take a right good-will drink,
For old long past.
So raise a glass at midnight and think of friends and family absent and those who are no longer here to see another New Year...and then look forward to 2006 and all it has in store, I hope it is full of wealth, health and happiness for you all, especially Steven & Steph and Lee, Jordan, Raeannyn & Angelina whom I can't offer a drink too or give a kiss and a wish of a good new year to in person!
A guid New Year tae aw' o' ye, aw the best when it comes...
I agree whole-heartedly that Christmas should be about more than the presents but that would be in an ideal world and we all know damn fine we don't live in one of those...if we did we wouldn't be having this discussion would we?
I love the Christmas story. Mary, Joe, Baby Jesus, the donkey, the wise men, angels and kings...it's a universal tale we all know well but I am not religious. The faith I did have that there was a higher being was tarnished when I saw a family suffer the devastation of watching their Mum die slowly of cancer...a good, kind, religious woman, who held her faith in Christ up like a beacon for others to see. My faith was crushed when I lost my Daddy...a big, brave, funny, loving man with everything to live for who was stolen with no warning. My faith was wiped clean away when I stood by a graveside watching a young couple bury their first born child, a new, innocent life who had done nothing to deserve being taken. So I no longer bow my head when asked to pray to God/Jesus. I no longer believe he loves and protects me. I now prefer instead to believe in Guardian Angels who guide us through life, who help us enjoy the good times and pull us through the bad.
I hold no grudge or issue with anyone who believes anything different from me...each to their own. Lee has her faith and it works for her...I may not share it but I'm glad she has something that she can hold on to.
Maxz made the point that he was disturbed about the amount of gifts that landed in my home at Christmas, that I may be better off sharing my "excesses" with others around me, that maybe my priorities are wrong and I am spoiling my kids. Fair comment. I know there are areas of the world with devastating poverty and that South Africa is one such place which does have problems of this kind but I live in Scotland...a part of the 3rd richest country in the world and I know damn fine that what appeared as gifts in my home on 25th December was pretty much what appeared in houses all over Scotland (and the rest of the UK) on the same day. You only have to look at the news to know that...Scots spent £13 million pounds in the week running up to Christmas.
I make no apology to anyone for spoiling my kids at Christmas. I work to afford it and every item was bought and paid for. My kids are a blessing. I count myself lucky to have been given both of them and I take my job of Mum very seriously. My kids get what I can give them but they also know the value of what they get...they have rules and if during the year they want something they know they need to earn it. They have manners, they know they need to respect their elders, I explain how lucky they are while we watch news pictures of others less fortunate, I make sure they know the world doesn't owe them a living and I make damn sure that when they don't want to finish a meal they know others are dying of hunger. I get so much joy and laughter out of my kids...and if I spoil them at Christmas then so be it! Show me a parent who doesn't or who wouldn't if they had the means??
I alone cannot change the mass poverty in the world. If I could I would. My giving my kids one present each at Christmas will not change the world. As for donating my "excesses" to others less fortunate in my neighbourhood...like I said I live in Scotland...in a small village, full of middle class homes, with neat gardens and well kept homes, where almost every home has 2 cars in the drive so I can't see that they'd need a food parcel from me! Don't get me wrong...we have poor people in Scotland...that's the reason I donate to charity, but we also have a whole host of people who are poor through choice. Women in their 30's who have never had a job....not because they can't get one but because they are happy living off the state with numerous children they can't afford to keep running around their feet. Men who are happy to let others keep them while they father children left, right and centre...do they deserve my pity and my help? In any event they get it because people like me and every other working person in the land who pays tax is paying to keep them anyway.
I'm not perfect...none of us are but I do my bit for others...only I choose who, when and where to give my help. I do not see sending gifts to Lee and her kids as charity or help, I do not look at it as sharing my excesses...she doesn't need either...she is richer than most in a way material minded people will never understand. I sent gifts to put a smile on the faces of 3 kids who have taken a few knocks this year to let them know they have friends in other places who were thinking about them. I sent Lee a gift to let her know the same, to hopefully put a smile back on her face and let her know she has a friend way over here with an open door and an open mind...if she needs it. Lee is trying to make a better life for herself and her kids and that is to be commended...the power of the internet is that it allows you to "meet" people you never would in normal life...as far as I'm concerned she is my neighbour and yes I gave them gifts too!
So while some may believe Christmas should be about a little gift each and sharing excesses and others think it should be about Christ...I believe it is all about family and friends...extended or otherwise. After all the story is about the birth of a new family member. So I'll keep spoiling mine at Christmas and any other damn time I feel like it without guilt over the rest of the world.
I have only one fear in life and that is regret...
I will enjoy what I have while I can...spoiling my kids, travelling, buying too many shoes, eating too much. For who knows when it will all come to an end? I may wake up tomorrow with nothing...or I may not wake up tomorrow at all.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Here's how my lounge looked at approximately 1am on Sunday morning...
Please accept my apologies if Santa didn't make it to your house but I have a feeling there would have been little room on the sleigh for anything else and anyway Santa very probably put his back out carrying this little lot in!
It took the kids (4 of them) 2 hours to open this little lot...they were up late though rising at 6am instead of 5am which was a bonus!
I am now coping with the aftermath of Santa's visit trying to find places in their (already bursting) bedrooms for all this stuff. All I have done today is open bloody boxes and untie plastic wires...why do they feel the need to secure the toys with so much damn plastic wire anyway? I now have so much cardboard outside that I could build a homeless person a mansion...with a granny flat!
One good thng to come out of this is the fact that Santa will be able to give us a miss next year because between my 2 terrors and my niece and nephew I don't think there's a toy that exsists that they haven't got.
Saturday, December 24, 2005
One of the regulars at the club, a lovely man named Willie McNair sadly passed away a few days ago. His death is a real shock as he always seemed so full of life...but I know only too well that the grim reaper likes to use the element of surprise. Willie will be sadly missed around the place, he always had a smile for you and a word to say and was involved in so many of the clubs social activities.
So again this year I will be at a funeral over the festivities...it's becoming a tradition in our house and one I'd like to break as fast as possible.
So while I am enjoying the company of freinds and family tomorrow I will be sparing a thought for Willie's wife Ann and his children and grandchildren. All they will want from Santa is the one thing they can't have...I know the feeling as I still only want one thing from Santa myself that I know I can't have.
I'm escaping to work from 6 until 11 tonight and will return home, having made 2 stop off's to collect presents, at about 1am when I will sit down with a glass of wine before playing Santa and getting all the pressies in and placed in the lounge for the morning. I've no idea how the hell I'll get all of them in there, along with the gifts for the 4 of us I also have my Mum, Sis, Niece and Nephew coming to stay over tonight so I need to find room for all their gifts too! To give you a taste of Christmas Chez Mitchell I have a small shed (used normally to house the kids bikes!) full of presents for the kids, about 30 already under the tree and piles more in the car...my Mum has a car full to bring with her and I've to pick up more after work and my Wee Sis will also have a car full! I live in a modestly sized 3 bedroom semi so this could get totally out of control!
Tradition dictates that we will be up at about 5am with the (very excited) kids and the present opening will commence! This will take a couple of hours and then it'll be breakfast for 8 followed by a mass fight for the bathroom to get ready to head out for lunch at 12! As we're travelling into Edinburgh (about 6 miles away) I'll be driving so I can't even have a bloody drink to help cope with the stress!
However when we get home again about 5pm I will be opening a bottle of something and making the most of the festive season before falling into bed late tomorrow night exhausted but happy!
So here's to a house full of roboraptors, nintendo ds's, ipods, dolls, ps2 games, cd's, King Kong's, Bratz dolls, scooby doo's and various other creatures, noise, nonsense and laughter - which is just as it should be!
Whatever you are doing I hope you have a great, safe, happy, love filled Christmas!
Friday, December 23, 2005
So to put you all out your misery...here's the words!
It was Christmas Eve babe
In the drunk tank
An old man said to me, won't see another one
And then he sang a song "The Rare Old Mountain Dew"
I turned my face away
And dreamed about you
Got on the lucky one
Came in eighteen to one
I've got a feeling
This year's for me and you
So happy Christmas
I love you baby
I can see a better time
When all our dreams come true
They've got cars big as bars
They've got rivers of gold
But the wind goes right through you
It's no place for the old
When you first took my hand
On a cold Christmas Eve
You promised me Broadway was waiting for me
You were handsome
You were pretty
Queen of New York City
When the band finished playing
They howled out for more
Sinatra was swinging,
All the drunks they were singing
We kissed on a corner
Then danced through the night
The boys of the NYPD choir
Were singing "Galway Bay"
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day
You're a bum
You're a punk
You're an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy Christmas your arse
I pray God it's our last
The boys of the NYPD choir
Still singing "Galway Bay"
And the bells are ringing out
For Christmas day
I could have been someone
Well so could anyone
You took my dreams from me
When I first found you
I kept them with me babe
I put them with my own
Can't make it all alone
I've built my dreams around you
The boys of the NYPD choir
Still singing "Galway Bay"
And the bells are ringing out
For Christmas day
So now you know!
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Marks and Spencer food hall with only 2 days before Santa comes?? Last year I witnessed a fight, and I do mean a fight, between 2 middle aged respectable women over a ready to roast turkey crown and another between 2 younger women over a packet of ready prepared vegetables.
Why I'm putting myself through this is beyond me given that I'm going out for Christmas lunch and therefore do not need anything but that dread that someone will appear on my doorstep for a visit and I'll be all out of dips and nuts is enough to send my scuttling off to do battle. So I'll put on several layers of clothing and my boots and brave the elements of M&S - it's not going to be cold but the layers will help stop me getting bruises from other rabid women shoving me out the way and the boots will protect my ankles from trolley rage!
I'm feeling a bit better now than I was earlier this week...I'm not fighting fit but if anyone dares argue with me over the last packet of pretzels I'll be strong enough to hold my own!
I'm off to bed now because I'll need all my strength. Wish me luck.
You can't go in a shop without hearing Noddy Holder screaming out "It's Chriiiiissstmaaas" and I've lost count of the times I've heard Wizzard wishing it was christmas everyday or indeed The Jacksons telling us about Frosty The Snowman's happy disposition.
Don't get me wrong I don't mind a bit of Christmas music but when it's been on repeat everywhere since 1st november it does start to piss you off ever so slightly!
Still there are a couple of Christmas tunes I don't mind hearing again and again. One being Wham's Last Christmas which always brings back memories of my primary 6 school disco and the boy who bought me the single for Christmas and the orignal (and definitely the best) version of Do They Know It's Christmas.
Then of course there is the best Christmas song ever written which I will never ever get fed up hearing and which would make it into my top ten favourite songs of all time and that is the fantastic Fairytale of New York which still gives me goosebumps everytime I hear it.
It is the most amazing piece of storytelling and if you've never heard it (how fucking sad would you need to be not to have heard it?) then go and find it on itunes or similar and listen to it right now.
The hall was packed with parents, all with camcorders and digital cameras ready to catch the action for prosperity...or more likely for the sole purpose of embarrasing their offspring in their teenage years...or is it just me that thinks like that?
Anyway along came a bright star and behind it the wise men and onto the stage strolled my very own wise man complete with gown, crown and big cheesy grin.
I had reservations about how 5 year old would cope with the spotlight...my reason being that during the main school concert which was earlier this week, 5 year old was spotted picking his nose and counting the light fittings rather than singing! I'm pleased to say there was no nose picking today but there was a lot of yawning and the crown was getting swung around good style during the finale!
They were all really cute given most of them are still only 4 years old and they did the job well. I'm lucky because my kids go to a fantastic school. They encourage the kids to try different things and put a lot of emphasis on the fact that school should be fun...the kids are always doing something or going somewhere. Tomorrow is the last day of term and the school hold a raffle when the kids can win prizes...the kids love it...when 9 year old was 5 year old she walked out of school with about 10 prizes including the doll she had asked Santa for but that Mum couldn't get for love nor money...Result!
Anyway I better go and pamper and praise the Wise Man and after that it straight to bed for him as he's obviously tired!
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Off I went as my head (it's a weapon of mass destruction!) had decided it wanted to get Better Half one more thing. Being female (!!!) my car is running a bit low on petrol (which is girl speak for the red light has been on for about 30 miles!) so I decided to take Better Half's car as he is male and therefore always has petrol in his car...I knew men were useful for something.
So I get to the shop, make my purchase - actually I need to correct that - I made several purchases, it's not just my head that runs away with me, I think my eyes have problems to...they see things and my body instantly picks them up...I may need to seek help for this in the New Year especially when the credit card bill arrives! Anyway I digress, so I complete my transaction and head back to the car...slightly concerned for a split second because the car park is hooching (extremely busy for those of you not from Scotland) and I can't remember where I parked. I find it and decide to head to another shop for another random item my head has just told me to buy.
I get to the shop and start looking for a parking space. It's like wacky races, or musical parking with all the drivers spotting a space and seeing who can get in it first..."right the music has stopped find a bloody space or your out" style. Several minutes tick by and I'm going round in circles getting ever more annoyed by the lack of spaces and the amount of old women in Micra's fannying about taking 7 attempts to get in and out of various spaces and holding everyone up...then I spot one...I see ahead of me a lovely empty space...and it's calling my name! I head for it and swing the car round to enter the space and...Bump.
Oops! I only go and hit the bloody car parked in the space next door. I don't hear smashing or a major bang but I feel a shudder and know I've hit it. I get the car in the space and swallow the lump in my throat and get out to have a look...I'm greeted with a nice scrape on the corner of the front bumper...I glance at the other car...luckily the driver is not in it and there's no-one else around...it seems ok, no marks to be seen on it...so I do what all good drivers do in these occasions...I get back in the car and drive away...only as far as another space though...I had shopping to do!
So I complete my shopping...looking behind me all the time in case someone saw what I did and they're coming to get me...and head back to the car. Some need a stiff drink when they have a bump, some have a fag to calm their beating hearts, I needed the "kerching" of the till...I pull out a tissue and give the car a rub...thankfully the scrape is superficial and most of it rubs away...oh but deep joy because while I rub off the superficial scrape marks I also rub off a scratch in the paint and I'm now left with a nice white mark where the paint has come off...it is at this point I start feeling a bit sick...not because I've damaged the car but because I've damaged HIS car and he is going to kill me. I am dead and no mistake. I toy with taking it to a garage to be repaired but know in my heart that even if I bought a fucking exact copy of HIS car he'd know it was different. He'd spot a repair a mile away using his Man Radar or whatever it is he has that means he knows when I'm up to no good...I am panicking by this time.
I should confess that my fear is down to the fact that I once crashed his (brand new) car and caused over £1000 of damage...to be fair though it was snowing...anyway he went off on one big time and I was barred from driving his car for months!
However I am a big girl now and I can take it on the chin so I decide to confess what I've done...so I phone him (well I wasn't going to tell him to his face!) and I swear to god the conversation goes like this...
Me - "Hello, How's you? Do you still love me ?"
Him - "What have you done to my car?"
Fucking man radar I'm telling you!!!
So I tell the tale and hold my hands up to my crime and guess what? He doesn't even bother that much...well he calls me an arse but there's no shouting, swearing, screaming...I'm stunned!
All my worrying was for nothing!
Of course it turns out that he's not that fussed because the front bumper needs to be replaced anyway because HE hit an animal and caused £750 worth of damage to the car!
So I am relieved and he is cool about it. Phew...although he has barred me from using his car again...so I sent him for petrol for mine!
Sunday, December 18, 2005
I feel like shit. My head hurts, my bones are aching and my nose is altering from runny to stuffed up with alarming speed.
I could happily have hibernated in bed this morning but my Better Half's brother was coming today for a flying visit with my 1 year old niece and as we don't see nearly enough of her (or him) I made the effort to drag my butt from my bed. Once I had made the decision to get up and dressed I couldn''t be bothered going back to bed and have spent the day reading the sunday papers and watching t.v although I will confess to lying on the sofa fast asleep while Better Half watched Chelsea and Arsenal battle it out on Sky.
Personally I blame Ross and Nikki for my current plague. Both have been ill with a similar illness in recent times and obviously felt with this being the season of goodwill to spread the joy around. I am damn sure I will feel worse before I feel any better. Deep joy with Santa due in for milk and cookies in less than a week.
Really I could not have picked a worse week to get ill. The kids have a million and one things on this week - Brownie carol concert, school concerts, Nativity play...and I've still got my food shop and wrapping to do and a couple of shifts at work to fit in yet.
Oh and just to add to my woes, my wisdom tooth is playing up so one side of my mouth is swollen and aching. Yes I know I'm past 30 and shouldn't have issues with wisdom teeth but mine never came through properly and are still trying from time to time to stake their claim for a place in my mouth...
Och well. Not to worry. Luckily I am a female and not a male so I will be able to carry on as normal and get through the week. If I was male I would have had to lie dying in bed until at least Thursday...we all know how serious the man-flu can be.
Monday, December 12, 2005
I woke up in my own bed this morning (always a bonus!) feeling surprisingly fresh. This may be because I was only in the early stages of tipsy when I headed home instead of legless drunk, although it wasn't for the lack of trying.
Normal routine dictates that my drinking cycle should start with a few glasses of wine followed by my favoured tipple of Vodka/Lemonade...and if the routine goes to plan I should be beginning to feel no pain by vodka number 4...which is normally obvious by my urge to dance/sing on a karaoke.
However last night as I approached vodka number 5 nothing was happening, so after finishing said vodka I whipped £20 out my purse and sent Ross to the bar for tequila and aftershock shots. I reckoned this would tip the balance. It didn't and so it was onto vodka number 6...I was even more pissed off at the lack of effect when I realised we had been drinking doubles!
Ross proceeded to return the favour by extracting £20 from his wallet and sending me to the bar for more shots...this time we went for a mix and I think I ended up with apple sourz and midouri...there followed another vodka, a cocktail pitcher, another vodka and another cocktail pitcher...and lo and behold I'm still on my feet...shocking.
Despite only making it to giggly rather than legless I still enjoyed the evening. We ended up in a club which in my youth had been a great place to go...it's damn different now but there was a bit of reminiscing by Ross and I...I recalled that the club we were in was where I first developed a love of hip hop and Ross took me to the exact spot (right down to the floor tile) where he first fell in love and the exact spot (again down to the floor tile) where he lost his mind...I can't recall if both happened on the same night...I also got the chance to watch transfixed as Ross decided to test the restaurants "all you can eat" slogan to it's fullest meaning. I feared we might end up there all night...but just as he was pondering over whether he could get a carry out and literally carry out the entire buffet, we managed to escape!
One other bonus of the night was the fact that I came home still wearing my footwear. I normally return home with them in my hand because my feet are aching! Last night I made the really wise decision to wear brand new knee high 3.5 inch heeled boots...I have blisters like you would not believe today but I made it back with them on my feet and I'm damn proud of that achievement...especially as I had bright pink fluffy socks on under them!
Friday, December 09, 2005
I'm an eternal optimist, I like to see the best in people and usually do until gut feeling and instinct tell me different. So I'd like to believe that those who chose to rob you weeks before Christmas and take your kids Christmas gifts from under them did so because they are worse off than you are...my gut feeling though tells me that they are just scum. However, being optimistic I am sure they will get exactly what they deserve at some point...what goes around comes around. Not much comfort to you I know...
I could rattle of here how Christmas is too commericalised anyway and how it should be about love and peace and not what you can afford to give...but sadly the world doesn't work like that. Yeah it can be explained to the kids that there's no money for stuff...and bless them they take it in and tell you it's alright, but any Mum knows that deep inside they are disappointed and it just breaks your heart for them.
When I was a child my parents struggled damn hard to give my Sis and I what was on our list to Santa...my Dad was out of work and Mum working part-time but we got what was on that damn list every year without fail...I still have no bloody idea how they managed it...
I am a very lucky girl and I thank whoever it was that decided I was going to land on my feet. My marriage may have fell round my ears but I met a man, fell in love and got a chance to start again...and I grabbed it with both hands.
There's little someone like me who has been able to get the presents on the list this year can say to you without sounding patronising so I won't even try. I'm not going to tell you it'll all get better...or that you'll meet prince charming.
What I will say though is this...if I could jump on a plane today and come to give you a hug I would. If I could magic up your dream Christmas and give it to you I would. If I could bring all of you across here for the holiday's to share my Turkey I would. If I lived in Indiana and could have adopted your family for the holidays I would and I hope you know I mean it most sincerely and I hope you know that on Christmas day I will raise a glass and hope that no matter what, you and the kids are having a lovely day together.
On a more practical note I have something for you which I want to send to you...but I need an address to send it to.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
We missed out on our christmas jolly last year so we've got a year to make up for...I reckon that means we can drink twice as much then.
Last time round we stayed local and went to a pub near to the club for a meal and a few drinks. The karaoke was on and as usual it was the quiet one we had to watch...Ruth, a normally level headed and sensible sort was on it in a flash singing and strutting her stuff much to the amusement of us all.
Ross and I treated the place to a fine rendition of Frank Sinatra's My Way. Both of us have fine singing voices...well we all think we do when we're a bit pissed eh? After chucking out time we headed for a club and danced for a bit...although not on the dancefloor...
This year it's out for a traditional christmas meal...a chinese, then we're hitting the pubs and clubs of Edinburgh's city centre...so there'll be a fight, an arrest and a trip to casualty before midnight no doubt!
I'm sure it'll all be good fun because all the team get on like a house on fire. Well if you don't count the fact some of us can't stand each other and would rather stick nine inch nails in our eyes that have to sit next to each other at the table! There's only one way to deal with that though...just keep drinking till the room spins and then I won't know where I'm sitting never mind who I'm next to.
Whatever happens I'll be feeling no pain on Monday morning... because I won't be getting out of bed until Monday afternoon.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Right here goes:
If people from Edinburgh are Edinburgers, Folks like me born in Dundee are Dundonians, Glasgow folks are Glasweigans, Liverpool is full of Liverpudilians, London has Londoners, Manchester is crammed with Mancunians and Newcastle full of geordies...what are people from Cardiff called??? Now I know you'll give me bloody stupid answers like Welsh or Taffy or Stupid but I'm looking for the real answer!!
Better Half was no help he said they were sheep shaggers...but everyone knows they come from Aberdeen!
So what are they called then? Cardiffians, Cardifites, Cardiffonians? Actually what are people from Perth called? Or people from Southampton? Or Brighton? And why do I care?
This is what happens when I let my brian wander...it fills full of silly questions, anyway answers on a postcard to the usual address please!
Monday, December 05, 2005
What next? The 2 remaining Beatles getting back together as a duo for old times sake? Or maybe Gary Glitter securing a new deal and asking us again if we'd like to be in his gang...actually that's about as likely as Michael Jackson developing a taste for old women.
Mind you it's not all bad that these old groups are reforming, Five has a very gorgeous member called Jay whose pretty face I've missed in the last 4 years and at least I'll get some more use out of my Spice Girl platform trainers and union jack dress...
ps I don't actually have spice girl platform trainers or a union jack dress...I made it up...no honest I did...do you honestly think I'm the sort of sad person who'd have bought these things?...what do you mean yes?
I was there in March this year with Mum. It was her birthday treat and the two of us had a great time seeing the sights. Better half has never been before so it'll be fun showing him around. We're going Icelandair so he'll get to see Iceland as well and do the Blue Lagoon trip.
Of course the trip was our present to each other for Christmas and we agreed it was better than buying each other loads of stuff we don't need but as was always going to be the case I am unable to give him nothing to open on the day itself so have decided we'll spend £100 on each other so we'll have a few parcels to open.
I plan on buying him as much rubbish as I can for the money...I know secretly he was hoping for alloy wheels for his car but they went out the window for the New York trip...anyway it's his birthday in March so he might get them then.
Actually who am I kidding...I'll never be able to stop at £100, he'll end up getting the same amount of stuff he always gets from me and I'll be mad because he'll stick to the £100 agreement!
Oh well it's all about the giving eh?
9 year old's was really good although the run up to it being staged wasn't without drama...9 year old (who was at the time 5 year old) was originally cast as an Angel who helped guide the shepherds to the baby Jesus but she was relegated from this role by the teacher for misbehaving during rehearsals and was subsequently given the part of a stable pig! They have pigs and sheep as characters at our school so everyone gets a part! 9 year old was highly unamused by her new role...and so was I because I had to supply the costume which consisted of pink tights and a large pink long sleeved sweater, neither of which I owned and anyway I'd been hoping she'd have been Mary, the starring role...at our school though starring roles are given to the kids who try hard at school and follow the golden rules so 9 year old didn't stand a chance really!
5 year old is in Primary One this year so it's his turn. I was hoping for Joseph but alas it was not to be. 5 year old has got a main part though, he's going to be...deep breath...a wise man!! (I take it all back what I said about the wise men in my earlier post!) I'm kind of chuffed because it means he's doing well at school and I don't have to put him in pink tights!
5 year old is quite excited about it all...9 year old is still fuming about being a pig all those years ago...
On the same note...my 7 year old nephew Dean is also doing the Nativity at school this year, he was cast as an angel but refused to do it because he didn't want to wear a white dress so his teacher said he could be a shepherd instead which pleased him a bit more until he found out that they also wear a dress...he's not a happy bunny but has agreed to be a shepherd because it's a more manly dress than the angels...still I wonder what he'd do if he went to the same school as my kids and had to be the stable pig...pink tights...I can't see it somehow!
Happy Harry is a toy dog which the Primary One kids get to bring home for the night. The kids get really chuffed if they get to bring Harry home because it means they are "special person" in class that day!
Harry comes with a diary and you need to write what you did the night you had Harry home. We had Harry a few months ago so this is our second time with him...5 year old is super chuffed!
Of course it's not enough just to write what you did with Harry, somone who had him early on decided to take photos of what Harry did when he was with them so now we all do that...the photo's are printed off and stuck in the diary along with your entry!
I like Harry, he's a really nice dog and a credit to his parents. He's very quiet so it's difficult to have a decent conversation with him but he is very polite and goes to bed when he's told to unlike 5 year old!
Last visit Harry played on the Playstation till his head was bursting...this time 5 year old showed Harry his new "hearts fc" bedroom and taught Harry a few football songs! Harry had to have Macaroni cheese for tea because 5 year old says it's Harry's favourite and of course Harry ate it all up so he got Ice Cream for afters. 5 year old and Harry are now in bed watching Scooby Doo.
Here's Harry and 5 year old...
And so ends another average night in the mad house I call home!
People have their trees up, fairy lights shine from windows, everyone is out buying their gifts, the children are excited, the weather is cold and crisp, women are making the house cosy for Christmas, food is being bought, cards are arriving, relatives are getting ready to go to their loved ones for the big day and throughout the land is a sense of magic and calm, everyone filled with Christmas joy...and if you believe that you'll believe anything!
It's more a case of everyone being filled with stress and anger than Christmas joy. Have you noticed how we all become violence filled, crazed maniacs as Christmas approches? It's the same every year: Choas, stress and arguments and that's before the big day even appears!
Relationships and marriages suffer as husbands/partners/boyfriends are dragged round the shops by their other halves to purchase the necessary presents. The men would rather eat their own hands than have to be standing in a queue in Argos, especially on a Saturday afternoon when the footie is on.
Grown women fight with each other to grab the last Bratz doll or Power Ranger off the shelf in Toys R Us and normally placid Ladies get trolley rage fighting to get their sprouts and turkey in Marks & Sparks food hall. As for finding a car parking space in any shopping centre car park at a weekend...forget it! Families argue over where to put the tree and teenagers get pissed because Granny and Great Aunt Ethel are coming to stay so they need to clean their rooms and give up their beds.
Overdrafts get higher, credit card bills get higher and women get mad because despite all the hints, the other half hasn't been shopping for her present yet and she knows he'll leave it until Christmas Eve and she'll get a bra that's 2 sizes to big and crotchless pants that are 2 sizes too small or worse still a gift voucher!
I blame the wise men for all the hassles related to present buying...it's their fault we fight over car parking spaces, toys and turkey's...it's their fault we have to spend too much money...
I mean honestly...they rock up to the stable, not even knowing the family, poor Mary lying there puffed out from all that pushing, probably arguing with Joseph about who's baby it is and saddle sore from that bloody donkey ride and these 3 strange men appear bearing gifts...and because these wise men listened to voices and followed a star and felt the need to bring their gold, frankincense and myrhh as gifts to the baby we're all here arguing in Argos!
They started the whole present giving thing...so it follows that it's all their fault! Well I need to blame someone!