Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Oops I Seem To Have Aquired A Pair Of New Shoes...

Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It's been about 4 weeks since my last shoe confession.

I confess.
I bought them today.
They are lovely.
They are black.
They are sparkly.
Surprisingly they are flat.
They were a bargain.
They will look great with Jeans and 3/4 trousers.
They are being hidden in my wardrobe before Better Half gets in.
They will be unveiled on my feet at some point in the next few days.
I am going away now to practice saying "New? They're not new, I've had them for ages which just shows you how much notice you pay to what I wear" in a very serious tone.
Actually I'm not. I'm a bloody pro at that line now.

Jenny xx

Tomorrow Is...

My Wee Sis's Birthday. She will be 3 years, 2 months and 1 day younger than I am, which is how old she's been since she was born really!

I've just been out shopping for her pressie and the usual cheeky card and will make the dutiful trip in to see her tomorrow in her room at the asylum...I mean flat in the town.

I hope she's got bloody milk for my coffee!

Happy Birthday Neet Neet!

Jenny xx

Obsessive Complusive Disorder...

is a very serious condition you know. It can ruin people's lives. It should not be a laughing matter. I read an article the other day which claimed that the definition of OCD as used by the medical world...

"Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) - feelings of little or no control over certain thoughts, ideas or urges, which seem to force themselves into your mind and remain so like a stuck record. You may feel compelled to do these things because of an unquenchable fear that life will be disrupted, you will not feel at ease, it would be "bad luck" not to carry out the urge or something "bad" may happen if you don't. The irresistible urge to carry out such rituals is known as a 'compulsion'. Compulsion also applies to the act of not doing something, for example avoiding certain things because of an unantural fear of them or because of an extreme dislike to them. It creates unbearable anxiety, and makes you feel helpless to do anything except perform the particular ritual. It can result in shakes, sweating, hyper ventilating, racing heart, dizziness, shaking and shortness of breath."

...may need to be adjusted because as it stands just now it is too vague and could be mis-diagnosed unless tighter rules are in place regarding symptoms which need to be present to classify OCD.

He may have a point. I mean as it stands from reading the above, which was taken from the article, I have could have OCD.

I often feel "compelled" to buy shoes. The "urge" to do so is often uncontrollable. If I see a pair I like they will "force themselves into my mind and remain so like a stuck record". I often find my heart racing, my body shaking and myself hyper ventilating at the sight of a lovely pair of sparkly heels! I regularly feel helpless to do anything other than buy them to relieve my symptoms! It's a curse I tell you.

Then there's my cupboard "compulsion". I feel "compelled" to have all my tins facing the same way and in the correct order of size and of foods contained in them (for example Beans need to go beside Tomatoes and soup needs to go on it's own in anothe cupboard) and it's not just's pot noodles, jars, packets...all of them in size and colour order according to what's in them. I get into a right old state of "anxiety" if it's not right and I will re-sort it every time I buy a shop if it's even slightly not right.

Maybe I should also mention my furniture obsession which is slighty odd...imagine a flat wall with 4 pieces of furniture on it...lets say bedroom furniture...they range in height from very tall wardrobe to small drawers...If I went into a house which had the large wardrobe on the right, then went down in size to the smallest piece on the left...I'd be very uneasy because that's just wrong. I would have an uncontrollable urge to move them the other way and have done so in the past on houses which didn't belong to me! It doesn't have to be furniture actually, I'm the same with books or storage jars in the kitchen...gotta be left to right biggest to smallest.

Is is also a bit wierd that all my cd's (and believe me there are literally hundreds and hundreds of them) are stored in multiple order? So for example I have all the compilation ones together but then seperate them so all the film soundtracks are together, or I have groups but sort them into genres and then put all the a's together, b's together etc...

What about the fact that I only like certain colours of flowers in the house? Is that a wierd compulsion too? Or that I can't bear to go within a few feet of anything nylon? Or that I can't sleep with normal cotton sheets? That I won't even touch anything made of satin and that I still look all round the bedroom, toilet and hallway for spiders before I can sleep? Or that dirty trainers and shoes just make me feel horrible, especially dirty trainers...shiny and new looking always please (which may explain why I own so many!!).

Fuck me. I am an obsessive compulsive. Those Dr's better change the bloody wording of that description. And quick. I want to go back to being strange instead of being obsessively complused.

Jenny xx

Ooh Get Me I've Gone All Girlie...

Time for a change me thought. Out with Green (it's so last season!) and in with Pink for summer.

Pink is good for's the colour of skin most of us Scots get when the sun shines anyway!

Jenny xx

Memories Of Higher English...

I was browsing a few other random blogs today, as I do when you lot I read regulary have been read, and I came across a poem on one which instantly took me back to being 17 again. It was one of the 9 poems we had to study as part of our Higher English exam way back when.

All 9 were by Norman McCaig, an Edinburgh man and one of Scotlands best known poets. I like a bit of poetry and had a great time doing my English Higher as I liked all but 2 of the McCaig poems we had to memorize and dissect. I also got to spent a year dissecting and learning Macbeth which I also happened to love!

I suppose I cracked it with this exam because out of the 9 poems we had to learn, on the actual exam day there would only be 2 of them we were questioned on and it just happened to be the 2 I liked best...which obviously meant it was the 2 I knew best as well! One was called "A Man In My Position" which was basically a love poem and the other was the one I stumbled on today. I can still remember letting out a wee squeal of delight when I turned the paper over and saw what poems it was...I can also still hear the adjudicator saying "would the young lady in the striped top, sitting 3 rows from the rear please refrain from making any further noise. This is an exam and noise is not permitted"!

Anyway here's the poem...I find it kinda sad...which is how you should feel apparently cause it's what I put in my english exam and I got an A!!

The Hospital Visit by Norman McCaig

The hospital smell combs my nostrils
as they go bobbing along
green and yellow corridors.
What seems a corpse is trundled into a lift
and vanishes heavenward.

I will not feel, I will not feel,
until I have to.

Nurses walk lightly, swiftly,
here and up and down and there,
their slender waists miraculously carrying their burden
of so much pain, so many deaths,
their eyes still clear after so many farewells.

Ward 7.
She lies in a white cave of forgetfulness.
A withered hand trembles on its stalk.
Eyes move behind eyelids too heavy to raise.
Into an arm wasted of colour a glass fang is fixed,
not guzzling but giving.
And between her and me
distance shrinks till there is none left
but the distance of pain
that neither she nor I can cross.

She smiles a little
at this black figure in her white cave
who clumsily rises in the round swimming waves of a bell
and dizzily goes off,
growing fainter, not smaller,
leaving behind only books that will not be read and fruitless fruits.

Jenny xx

Friday, May 26, 2006

The Sound Of Hysterical Laughter...

7.08pm yesterday evening and my phone rings. I amswer it with a "hello" and am met by the sound of someone laughing and making strange high pitched noises. After a few seconds they say "hello, how's you?" to which I reply "I'm alright, how's you?" the laughter continues until the caller says "I'm having a fucking ball!". It has now dawned on me who is behind the laughter and sounds of's Ross calling.

The reason for his merriment is that he has just heard the news that the bitch from hell we used to work with - the one mentioned in my previous post, who has I am pleased to say now fecked off and no longer works there as of last Friday - has fallen and broken her leg!

Indeed if it wasn't enough that she has broken her leg add this...she has broken her leg on the first full day of her holiday in ruined then! Ooops!

I have to admit when I heard the news from my Mum (I already knew when Ross rang) I did break into a big smile, nothing on the scale of Ross' hysterical laughing though but it was kind of infectious to hear and the joy in his voice made my night!

However my concern is that at her age broken bones can take a very long time to heal properly, she'll also be unable to walk round her house jangling her keys and carrying her favourite dishtowel about (something we know she loves to do) and how on earth is she going to get her tights and sandals on while she recuperates??

Just goes to show you that fate has a way of sorting things out...what goes around comes around and all that!

Jenny xx

Thursday, May 25, 2006

A Pain In The Ass...

My ass is sore. It hurts to sit down. It also hurts to stand up. It even hurts when I turn over in bed. It's a sharp, stabbing kind of pain.

It's all to with the cocx..I mean cocs...wait a minute till I check the spell check, ah right got it....coccyx apparently. My wee tailbone (that's easier!) is bloody sore, it seems I may have bruised it or something. The posh name for a sore bum of this kind is coccydynia and it is most often due to "some activity which has caused you to bruise or create swelling round the coccyx". I can't think of any activity I've been involved in lately which would have led to me damaging my ass. Honestly Guvnor I can't.

Jenny xx

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Relieving The Boredom...

I've decided to get stuck into the garden in order to relieve my current boredom.

It is about 8 weeks until 5 year old becomes 6 year old and it's become a bit of a tradition that we throw a BBQ round about this time. We have only missed one year in the Wee Man's life without our wee gathering and that was Dad's fault because he had the cheek to die one week before the Wee Man's 4th birthday! Needless to say we cancelled that year!

When we first moved in here the garden was a bit of a blank canvas and we spent a small fotune on plants and stuff and it looked great. However we then spent a small fortune on a Boxer Pup who developed a taste for said plants and who steadily destroyed most of them. In addition to that the Scottish winter and the rain have taken their toll on the grass this year which resembles more a swamp than a lawn.

So as I looked out yesterday I decided it was time to get stuck into it again...especially as Boxer Pup is now old enough to know better than to eat my plants! So over the next few days and weeks I will be transforming by wee bit of land into something fit to hold my annual BBQ in. First on the list is a bit of cleaning up followed by a new decking area, some new garden furniture and a bit of new planting. I also need to repaint the fence which is a pain in the ass as it's 6 foot high all the way round and our garden is one of the biggest in the street!

Plenty to do then to ease my boredom...just one wee problem with starting it's pissing down outside...bloody typical!

So I'll begin tomorrow.

Jenny xx

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Longest Week On Record....

This week is now officially the longest of my life so far.

The reason for this is because I've been bored out my skull all week. There's been nothing to look forward to and nothing to get ready for. The footie season is over, I've been on my Holibobs, the kids don't get off school for another 5 weeks yet and to top it all the weather is rotten.

I actually went to bed last night at was still bloody light outside! Tragic.

I am going to need to find a way to amuse myself for next week before the boredom leads to a compulsion to buy some shoes or something or worse still, leads me to watch live streaming of Big Brother for hours on that would be tragic.

Jenny xx

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Sharing Desktops....

Since Ross has decided to share his desktop pictures with us all in his new feature I thought it was only appropriate that I do the same.

So here's mine. Ross in all his glory on Saturday night looking a bit bemused by my excitability (I was excited because my team had won the Scottish Cup...can't remember if I've mentioned that!!). Of course I always get a little excited round Ross...which is why I'm having him as my desktop this week.

If you fancy having your very own Ross desktop feel free to click and save him. Oh and if you just fancy Ross feel free to let me know!

Jenny xx

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

That Is Seriously Wrong...

A girl of 12 is about to become Britain's youngest Mum. She got pregnant aged just 11 years old and is due her baby next month.

She got pregnant after having sex at an all night party with a 15 year old boy. Unsurprisingly she was drunk at the time. The boy has been charged with statutory rape.

This girl comes from a home where her Mother is raising 6 kids (with 3 different fathers) as a single parent, the youngest being only 8 months old. The Mother is a well known drug dealer and user in the area and throws Heroin parties. The house they live in has been described as "squalid" by visitors with needles and drugs lying around. She has vowed to stand by her daughter and help to raise the new baby. The girl meanwhile has left school with no intention of going back.

There are serious questions that need to be asked about this whole sorry mess.

The first one that springs to mind is why is this sorry excuse for a Mother still being allowed to raise kids anyway? A known drug dealer and user. A woman who lets her 11 year old attend all night parties. A woman who already has one child in care. A woman who believes her 11 year old is mature enough to handle to responsibilities of Motherhood.

How can anyone believe that an 11 year old girl (and let's not get confused here...she is just a girl whether she has periods or not) can possibly be mature enough to cope with what is about to happen to her? What sort of life will this new baby have with a Mother who is barely old enough to look after herself and a Gran who thinks she's an extra in Trainspotting?

It beggars belief.

Obviously accidents can happen. Sometimes even the most sensible of young girls can find themselves in the situation of being pregnant at a young age. This girl though is not one of the sensible few who get caught. She was young and naive enough to believe she couldn't get pregnant the first time she did it. She has shown a basic lack of sex education and understanding of her own body. Having gone through labour twice and therefore knowing full well exactly what happens to you both emotionally and physically, I can only wonder at how frightening and confusing the whole experience would be for a 12 year old.

I'm not against teenage mum's one little bit. I know plenty of girls who had babies in their teens and are fantastic sister included...but this girl is not even a teenager and there is a big difference in maturity between a 17 year old and an 11 year old girl. It's also a big consideration that all the girls I know who had babies early all had good families behind them and parents who were able to guide them down the right path. I fear this girl does not have that luxury. As the Mum of a 9 year old who is currently getting sex education at school I make sure I sit and discuss it with still makes me feel a bit sad that I need to be doing it with her at such a young age but better that and she knows the facts than ends up in a similar situation.

I am also against the fact that the boy is being charged with an offence where the sex is consensual. I mean the girl has admitted she was a willing partner and technically the boy in question is still a child himself. He was also drunk. Rape implies that she was an unwilling partner and was forced into having sex. If this boy is found guilty he will have a criminal record and no doubt be a name on a sex offenders register for life. Seems a bit harsh for me while she walks away from the mess to play happy families and make money from selling her story and pictures of her new baby when it arrives. Both are at fault...however it is a bizarre law that says that a girl under 16 cannot be prosecuted for having under age sex but a boy can.

For the sake of the wee baby that is about to enter this circus I hope social services see sense and take the decision to place him or her into the care of a loving family who will be able to give it what it needs. I hope they do the same for the 12 year old and her brothers and sisters.

Jenny xx

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

2 Days Of Celebration...

On our return to Gorgie Road on Saturday we gathered with thousands of others to see the team bus return home. I was still in a bit of shock at that point and in dire need of a drink!

Earlier in the day we had been to a hotel in Glasgow with 500 other Hearts fans for a 3 course lunch and a free bar. The meal was made up of a salmon starter and a steak main course with cheesecake for afters. As I don't eat red meat and hate salmon I spent my time tucking into the free bar while everyone else ate their lunch. My lunch ended up being 2 vodka red bulls, the best part of 2 bottle's of white wine and cheesecake...I was slightly merry when we left the hotel it must be said...of course it didn't help that I had had no breakfast!

By the time we got home again to Gorgie though I was remarkably sober but after giving my kids over to the care of my Sis for the rest of the night I got a double vodka down me back at Bainfield and normal service was resumed. It finally sunk in at about 9pm that we had won the cup. I gone for a ciggy outside and was yapping away with Ross who looked a tad bewildered but smiled never the less as I got a wee bit hyper.

I left the club at about 11.30...tired and emotional which is obviously my way of saying slightly pissed after another 5 vodka's! Better Half and I headed in search of a bag of chips and having found them wandered in search of a taxi. It would have been easier to find a happy Hibs fan in Gorgie than a taxi but eventually we got home and after deciding it was a good idea to hang a big Hearts flag out the window to annoy the neighbours around us who are Hibby's we headed for bed at 4am!

8am saw the start of another day. Excitement got the better of me and I dragged Better Half up with the promise of a cup of coffee and friend egg rolls. By 11am we were at my Sister's collecting the kids and after grabing Mum on the way we were off again into Gorgie for the Parading of the Cup. We had tickets for the Gorgie Suite (a function room within the Hearts ground) and made our way through the crowds to get there. No surprises that we headed straight for the bar and while the open topped bus carrying the team and the cup made it's way through Edinburgh to Tynecastle in front of about 100, 000 Jambo's, we made full use of the facilities in the Gorgie Suite. I kicked off feeling very sensible and stuck to a Blue WKD instead of Vodka but ended up having a pint of Magners cider to wash it down!

We headed out into the ground at about 2pm and took our seats to see the team coming in with the cup. After much singing, clapping and cheering and after making good use of my camera capturing the moment, the team headed off again and we made our way back to the Gorgie Suite to top our alcohol levels! 3 more vodka's and a red Wkd managed to do the trick!

A few players popped into say hello and brought the cup with them and yet more photo's were taken...then in the most bizarre thing to ever happen to me I found myself out on the turf at Tynie with about 30 others watching the club's majority shareholder Valdimir Romanov take penalites. Truly bizarre. Someone had opened the security doors to the pitch and there he was getting his photo done for the press playing with a football. 5 year old spotted the open door and made ab id for freedom out in Tynie along with another wee boy and as I got up to retrieve him we spotted Vlad and his son Roman - the club's chief executive. The 30 or so of us who came out to have a look were gobsmacked as he waved us over. So we climbed over the barrier and out onto the turf. Vlad was in good form as laughed with fans, signed autographs and posed for pictures, then he decided to hit a few penalties into goal. Better Half was like a bairn in a sweetie shop as he posed for photo's in the goals, on the bench at the home dug out and in the tunnel entrance..he was even more excited when Roman signed his Hearts top for him...obviously I am not allowed to wash it now!

The day was drawing to a close and as the bar shutters came down we headed off back along Gorgie Road yet again for the 4th time in less than 24 hours. Fans were still wandering round, songs were still being sung and the road cleaners were out in force picking up the debris the thousands of Jambo's had left behind them. A taxi proved easier to come by and we headed back home having had another great day.

So that was the weekend then. It was the best I've had in a long time and one I will remember for even longer!

Jenny xx

Going Through The E-motions...

Relieved, knackered, ecstatic, stunned, delirious, emotional, drained. All of these words can be used to describe my feelings at about 5.35pm on Saturday.

It was Scottish Cup Final day. The end of a long and strange season for us Jambo's. We were out in force as the best part of 40,000 of us headed for Hampden. From the outset this was always going to be a friendly final. There is no history between the two clubs, no religious nonsense, no same city rivalry, no sense of hatred for things said and done.

This was 2 clubs, both with multi-millionaire owners who are flamboyant figures in their own ways, coming together to play for a cup which meant something to both teams and both sets of supporters. Hearts were playing in their 13th cup final and looking to win it for only the 7th time in over 100 years. They are a club with a history of being the one's to crash at the last hurdle, the one's who lose it all at the last minute. Gretna were playing in their first ever major final in any competition. A club who a few years ago were playing non-league football under the English FA. A club who were bought by a colourful millionaire with a dream to build them up. Since they were accepted into the Scottish Leagues they have rattled through them and this season secured their place in the First Division. They were the team looking for the fairytale ending.

On paper this looked like Hearts should walk away with the cup without breaking sweat. You would have struggled to find a Hearts fan who believed this would happen though...too many years of hearing the same. So we went to this match, with the same feelings as the Gretna support...hoping we'd win it rather than feeling we had it in the bag.

The first half was no great surprise. Hearts had more of the game and more of the chances but Gretna were holding their own. Not far from half time Rudi Skacel put Hearts ahead and 3/4 of Hampden erupted. The second half though showed a different side to both teams. Hearts looked tired and were just too slow all over the park. Gretna meanwhile seemed to have stepped up a gear and were first to every loose ball. I still felt we could sneak another on the break but I had a feeling Gretna would score long before kick off and it proved right. Gretna were awarded a penalty after the ref decided Chesney had fouled their player in the box. Craig Gordon, the Hearts goalie and Scotland's number 1 keeper got to the ball and saved it but Townsley scored for Gretna with the rebound and suddenly 3/4 of Hampden was very quiet.

The tension creeped in for the last stages of the second half and it was edge of seat stuff to see if anyone could grab that winner for either side. Gretna got a break and one of their players took the ball round our keeper and looked certain to score only for Robbie Neilson the Hearts Right Back to come from nowhere and make the best tackle I've seen for a long time to save our skins. The one goal winner didn't happen though and we were into Extra Time. 30 Minutes left for someone to snatch glory.

Hearts struggled in the first half of ET. Players were down with cramps, we were losing the ball in silly ways. Gretna didn't do much better in that period either but they still looked sharper than us. The second half of ET though was a different story. Hearts came back fighting. They hit the woodwork and twice had great shots to take the lead again but blew them both. Gretna dug deep and came back with their own efforts including a messy goalmouth scramble as they tried to get the ball into the Hearts net. It was watch through your fingers stuff! One perfectly timed pass though and Hearts were away. Rudi Skacel through one-on-one with the Gretna keeper Alan Main. Main ran out off his line straight into Skacel who stumbled badly but stayed on his feet on for the ball to head out of play. The Maroon and White sections of Hampden screamed for the penalty kicked but the ref wasn't having it. The boo's round the stadium were defening and the ref took absolute pelters. Paul Hartley, Hearts' star midfielder, was book for dissent when he voiced his opinion on the matter. I've seen the incident on tv heaps of times and was about 50 feet away from the actual was a stonewall penalty. Clear obstruction in the box. However we didn't get it and play continued. The atmosphere was electric as both sets of fans, feeling the tension, sung and cheered their team on. With only minutes to go before we headed to penalties Hartley made a great run. Gretna were on him and he headed to the corner flag looking to get the kick...Gretna's Townsley gave him the kick. As the ball went out of play he swung at Hartley. Hartley retaliated and kicked back at him. The ref ran over and booked Hartley for the second time and he was sent off. Our best penalty taker was heading for the dressing room and yet again the ref had shown himself up. Yes Hartley had to go but Townsley should have recieved a booking at least for his part. The final whistle blew and the score was still 1-1.

I seriously thought about leaving at that point. I can't stand to watch penalties on tv never mind in real life. I honestly can't tell you all the emotions going on in me at that point. I turned to Better Half and said "Christ feel my knees, they are absolutley shaking" I had to laugh when he said "I don't need to feel them, I can see your trousers moving". I was literally shaking with nerves. A fair few fans at both ends were seen heading out towards the concourse as they couldn't bear to watch either, they gathered round the tv sets inside preferring to see it unfold there.

The ref called things to order and we were under way. Gretna's Goalie Alan Main took to the goal first and our captian Steven "Elvis" Pressley stepped up and drilled his penalty home. 1-0 Hearts. Grady levelled it for Gretna before Robbie Neilson again gave us the advantage. Birch was next up for Gretna and he slotted his home. All square again. Then came Rudi who made sure it was 3 out of 3 for Hearts. It looked like we'd end up at sudden death but then Craig Gordon made a save from Gretna's Townsley and it was 3-2 Hearts. Micky Pospisil made it 4 for us and the noise was incredible as Gretna's Skelton went to take his kick. The Gretna fans knew he had to score, the Hearts fans praying for a save or miss. In the run up there was an audible intake of breath around me...he hit it straight and hard and almost in slow motion I watched as it hit the crossbar and crashed back out. We had done it! Game over. 4-2 on penalites! The roar from those in Maroon and White could have been heard back in Gorgie. I think I hugged and kissed every Jambo within pulling distance of me! 5 year old was being thrown around and 9 year old was caught up in a huge group hug! Scenes of joy everywhere!

A few minutes later and it was medal collection time. Gretna began their way up to collect their runners up medals...if it had been Smellick, Rankgers or the Hibby's I'd have said losers medals...but Gretna were definitely runners up. The whole of Hampden was on their feet to applaud them and the Hearts support joined in as the Gretna fans sang for their team. This was reciprocated as the Gretna fans applauded Hearts as they went up to get their winners medals and more importantly their hands on that cup. The good feeling continued as the Gretna players, led by their manager Rowan Alexander (who looked gorgeous in his kilt!) came to the Hearts support and thanked them and applauded and picked up Hearts scarves and hats that were being thrown to them from the stands. The Hearts players doing the same at the Gretna support before heading to their own fans to celebrate.

It was a great ending to what had been a long and dramatic day. Little did we know the English FA cup was going through the same as us. The Liverpool and West Ham supporters being put throgh the wringer as well! Sadly the result there wasn't the one I hoped for and West Ham lost out. We headed back to the bus for the journey home feeling happy but knackered and smiling and chatting to Gretna fans along the way. It was a strangely quiet bus that headed back home to Gorgie along the M8 very different from the one's that left Celtic Park in '98 after we beat Rangers.

We may have won it the hard way but we had it and that was all that mattered.

Jenny xx

Monday, May 15, 2006

I'm Still Here...

I said I wouldn't be here this week if the Gretna fairytale occured. Well it didn't occur so I'm back but I'm not staying because I really need an early night (em I realise it's 11.40pm but that's still early compared to the last 2 nights!). I will be back tomorrow when I feel a bit more human.

p.s if Ross says he seen me this weekend and I was as excited as a child full of E numbers and slightly merry with the drink...he's telling fibs!

Jenny xx

Friday, May 12, 2006

The Night Before...

Right then we are now at 1900 hrs here in cloudy Kirknewton. It is exactly 20 hours until kick off in the Cup Final.

The face paints, wigs, flags and scarves are ready to go. The strips are washed, ironed and ready to wear and the tickets are safely out of reach of small children and silly boxer dogs.

We're heading off at 8am tomorrow morning to join 33,000 other Jambo's on the trail to Hampden.

It is the biggest game either of my 2 have been to see and they can't wait.

I'm not going to say we'll will it because I'm superstitious but fingers crossed we'll be having a party come 4.45pm tomorrow.

If Gretna manage to pull of the fairytale...well good for them...just don't expect me on here for about a week.


Jenny xx

Wedding Anniversary...

Wednesday was my wedding anniversary. 10 years of marriage to the same man. A whole decade. Apparently a decade of marriage should be symbolised by tin or aluminium when it comes to the gift. So I could have expected a tin of beans or a can of Coke. I got nothing. No card. No flowers. Not even a phone call.

Still I left him nearly 7 years ago so I shouldn't really grumble.

I should seriously get myself to a divorce solicitor one day or before I know it I'll be "celebrating" my silver wedding!

Jenny xx

Good Deed Done For Today...

That's me secured my brownie points for this week on 2 counts.

Better Half has applied for a new job with Falkirk Council and has more or less secured it but they were needing to get a look at his exam results from school and college which he had misplaced prior to the interview. So being the wonderful wife (albeit not his wife) that I am I volunteered to take them across to Falkirk for him this week since he's at work all day. It wasn't easy as because he's so old his certificates are carved in stone...well I can say that given he left school the year I started as a 5 year old...but I knew it would earn me Brownie points with him.

It also helped in my second good deed of the day which bizarrely enough involved a trip to Grangemouth which is just next door to Falkirk.

Anyways there's this woman called Helen who is 66 years old and is a massive Hearts fan. She was at the match last week and ended up falling and in the process broke her hip. As a season ticket holder she did have match tickets for the final but wasn't able to use them as she is now confined to a wheelchair until the break heals. She tried to get a wheelchair space and carers space but was told they were all sold out.

She was gutted as she has been to every final the team has played in since she was just a child. I heard the story through her cousin (who is also a distant relative of mine) and decided to see if I could help out. A wave of my magic wand later (and an e mail to Heart Of midlothian Football Club) and 2 tickets, wheelchair and carer, are found for me. So I have just returned from Grangemouth where I met Helen for the first time and gave her her tickets for the final. She is beyond chuffed! I'm really pleased for her as she has held a Season Ticket since day one of their inception and follows Hearts home and away including travelling to Europe! Not bad for a woman of 66!

So brownie points (and a nice bouquet of flowers from Helen) for me today on 2 counts.

Jenny xx

My Night With Paddy...

3 rows from the front. Close enough to Paddy to smell his aftershave. I was not the only one breathing deeply I can assure you. He looks even better in the flesh and is taller than I expected...always a bonus to find a tall man when you're 6ft in stilettos yourself!

We had a great night at the Dark Side last night. We settled ourselves in with a pint each of Tennents and watched to warm up act who did his job well and had the crowd laughing away with the usual inclusion of some very dry humour and piss taking jokes about his kinsman (he was there was plenty talk of sheep!).

After a short interval, we headed back to our seats with another pint of Tennents each. Paddy appeared a few minutes later to plenty noise...cheers from the lads and wolf whistles from the lassies!

This is the first time Paddy has toured solo so I think a few were curious to see if he could cut it alone...he managed it fine. There was shades of Peter Kay about the routine but not unexpected when you realise he helped to write it but while Peter makes comedy out of the wedding day, Paddy's humour tends to focus more on the honeymoon if you get my meaning. We went on a trip through STD clinics, why British women are the best, The Gary Glitter reality tv show, vibrators and porn mags all via Robbie Williams house and Keith Chegwins penis.

There was then a Q & A session. At the bar there had been paper and pen's and a big plastic bucket. The idea was you were to ask Paddy a question and later in the show he got the bucket and randomly picked the questions out and answered them. You had to put your name on it so Paddy could find you if he wanted to. I thought maybe it would be staged questions to ensure a funny answer but after each one was read out the house lights went up and seeing the look of embarrassment on people's faces whose questions had been pulled out made me realise they were genuine enough. Bizarrely enough the first three were all more or less the same and all focused on women asking how big Paddy's manhood was! Cue red faced women being shown up under the house lights. No I was not one of them!

It was a good night and my ribs got a bit painful at one point from laughing so much which is always a good sign.

Jenny xx

Thursday, May 11, 2006

I'm Off Out Tonight...

Wee Sis and I are off into Edinburgh tonight to see Patrick McGuinness' stand up show "The Dark Side" tonight.

Which gives me a bloody great excuse to post this picture...

And this one...

And even this one again...

Gratuitous? Yes but who cares?? I reckon we'll laugh a fair bit, stare a fair bit and drool a good bit cause he's well gorgeous like! Funny, dark haired and lovely eyes...gets me everytime!

Right I'll away and get myself sorted for tonight start with clean knickers, these ones are damp! (I've took that too far!)

Jenny xx

Monday, May 08, 2006

A Busy Week Ahead...

Ah Monday morning again...

It's now 8.57am and the house is silent except for the clack of my fingers on here and the occasional hum from the heating system as it heats up my hot water. All the bustle of the last 45 minutes as I sorted out dinner money, uniforms,breakfasts, school bags, snacks and chaperoned the face washing and teeth brushing has stopped. Better Half is away to work and the kids have been dropped at school where they will remain for the next 6 hours.

Time for a quiet cup of coffee I think. However while the stillness of my house is nice I'm not going to be enjoying it for long. This is shaping up to be a busy week for me.

The nice weather we've had has brought with it the fact that lots of washing has been hung out to dry. Now inevitably it needs to be ironed. I've got phone calls to make, the kids beds to change. I need to play catch up with my Sis as I haven't seen her since we got back from USA. I have to head into town to do some shopping. I need to go to the bank to pay in some cheques and I need to make appointments to have my hair and nails done and my eyebrows waxed.

Obviously we are heading to the Cup Final on Saturday and I need to make sure that strips, scarves and other bits and pieces are ready. I've been tasked with locating Maroon and White face paints and I have managed to source them but it's another trip to get them, this time to Edinburgh.

So I'm going to enjoy my coffee in the quiet of this Monday morning before it all gets noisy again.

Have a great week.

Jenny xx

Sunday, May 07, 2006

I Give In...This Is Really Me!

Right then this is me...I'm sure Ross will confirm this...and my Wee Sis. She's not looking her best here it must be said and will have a shit fit when she see's this on here but it is the only photo I have of me on my pc, unless you count the one of me at 2 which I have!

As bairns we were very alike but as we've gotten older we've changed...we are more alike when neither of us has dyed our hair! Gill is more like Mum while I'm a bit more like Dad.

There's already a photo of Mum on the Blog so to allow you to make the comparison as to who I look like for yourselves (and just because I can!) here's my gorgeous Daddy...

Jenny xx

Ps Apologies to any young children who have been terrified by the sight of seeing my photo. The rest of you (and by that I mean Steven) get no sympathy cause you asked for it!

Friday, May 05, 2006

Ok So The Link Was Buggered...

In the post entitled Yes...Yes...Yes...

I can get it ok but some of you other's can't and as such many of you will have no bloody clue why I was so happy.

I'll tell you...

Hearts have made it into the Champions League qualifiers. Yes it's only the qualifiers but given that we haven't played in the European cup in any form since 1960 this is bloody good news! Even more so when you consider that just 18 months ago the team were on the brink of being no more.

To top it get to the competition we had to make sure Rankgers...I mean Rangers...didn't.
We've split the Old Firm, finished second in the Spl and have a cup final still to look forward to.

Happiness indeed.

"Tell all the Huns that you know...we're in the CL and you're no!!!"

Jenny xx

Oh Alright...Here's A Photo Of Me...

Steven reckons it's time I put a picture on here of to keep him happy...

It's not a great one...I'm dressed to take the kids to school but I couldn't find one of me really dressed up! It was kind of chilly and raining when this was taken which is why I'm wearing the thigh highs boots instead of ususal knee high.

Jenny xx

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

My True Loves...

These are my 2 babies with their Daddy. All 3 are my reason to get up in the morning!

My Sis and her two gorgeous Babies, little Miss Sensible and Little Mr Crazy.

My favourite kids in the world!! From l-r...Dean, Chloe, Jake and Kennedy. We call Chloe and Dean "Dumb and Dumber" when they are together because they are just daft. Kennedy and Jake are "Sense and Sensibility" as they are all together more sensible!

Jenny xx