Right then 2007 is upon us. A new year and traditionally a time to start afresh. A time to make resolutions. A time to list all the changes you plan on making.
Aye well screw that. What's the point in setting goals you'll neither stick to nor be able to achieve? Yes I could vow not to swear as much, to lose weight, join a gym, eat healthier, stop drinking or stop buying so many shoes...but what's the chances?
This year I've decided to make one resolution and only one. I'm going to say what's on my mind. From now on "say it like I see it" will be my motto. Now you may think this is an odd resolution for a red-head with a temper to make...after all it's not like I'm some quiet wallflower who never says boo to anyone but this resolution is the result of a fair bit of deliberation.
You see I am on the whole quite a nice person. I'll go out my way to help people and if I've got it and you need it then you can have it. I respect my elders. I have manners. My friends and family know that at any time I am but a phone call away if they need me. I respect other people's ways and rights and I am generally the one who will apologise first if there is an argument. That all makes me sound like a good sort but I am far from perfect...I can be a prize bitch, I have a temper and I have no time for ignorant people with no manners and I operate a "gut instinct" policy on people whereby if my gut instinct tells me your not my sort of person then you get one chance to prove me wrong.
So why you may ask, do I feel the need to say it like I see it now? Do I not already do that given I admit to being a prize bitch at times? Well actually no I don't. You see my prize bitch mode, like my temper mode, only really kicks in when I have been pushed to the point of losing the plot. It's always been the case that I need to be near breaking point for my anger to kick in enough to say what I really think. My deliberations over saying it like I see it led me to realise that all too often I will walk away wishing I had said what was on my mind instead of keeping it in. Now don't get me wrong it's not that I now intend to go around insulting everyone and anyone whenever I feel like it...far from it...instead I will go with the policy that if you ask for it then you'll get it. There have been way to many occasions when some fuckwit has really been asking for it and I like a muppet have not given it but have sat and tried to be diplomatic for fear of causing upset or bad feeling or in a bid not to rock the boat.
No more. No more shutting up to keep someone else happy. No more biting my tongue to avoid a situation. No more brushing of an insult or sly dig so's not to cause disharmony. If some idiot wants a piece of it then they can now have it...both barrels.
I already have a notion in my head of who will be the first to "benefit" from my new outlook. My ex-Mother In Law is topping the list after her wee outburst on Hogmanay when she was calling me all the names under the sun and accusing me of being a slut for leaving her "beautiful son". Sadly I wasn't there at the time...she decided instead to say it to my Mother at a party! I have spent 7 years putting up with that poisonous dwarves ramblings...make no mistake that next time I see her I will have something to say about her and her "beautiful son". As she's been asking for 7 years I feel it's only fair she gets it.
Next in line will I think be some of my so called friends and ex-friends. It will only be a matter of time before one of them shoots their mouths of again fully expecting me to say nothing for the sake of harmony. One in particular has been treading on thin ice for long enough now and there's no doubt that it won't be long before her mouth runs away with her again....especially if there's a drink nearby. See that's the thing with her...she's always blotto when she gets the notion to open her mouth and for many a year her nasty comments, bitchy remarks and downright rudeness have been brushed aside as being due to her being drunk. "och it's just ******** she gets like that when she's drunk" is a well used phrase where she's concerned and one I'm guilty of saying myself. Well no more. That goes for a few others as well...
I might ruffle a few feathers here and there....I may end up losing a few "friends" along the way but I will be happy in myself knowing that I said what I needed to....in the most sarcastic way I could.