Three little ducks go into a Bar...
"Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the first duck.
"Huey," was the reply.
"How's your day been, Huey?"
"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?" said Huey.
"Oh. That's nice," said the bartender.
He turned to the second duck,
"Hi, and what's your name?"
"Dewey," came the answer from duck number two.
"So how's your day been, Dewey!?" he asked.
"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?"
The bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So, you must be Louie?"
"No," said the third duck, batting its eyelashes.
"My name is Puddles!!
I was feeling a bit lonely so I decided life would be more fun if I had a pet. So, I went to the pet shop and told the owner that I wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, I finally decided on a Centipede which came in a little glass case to use for his house. I tookhim back home, found a good location for it, and decided I would start off by taking my new pet to the pub to have a drink.
So, I asked the centipede in the box:
"Would you like to go down the Fox and Hounds with me and have a beer?"
But there was no answer.
This bothered me a bit, but I waited a few minutes and then asked him again: "How about going to the pub for a drink?"
But again, there was no answer from my new friend and pet. So, I waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.
I decided to ask him one more time; this time putting my face up against the centipede's house and shouting: "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to The Fox and Hounds and have a drink with me?" A little voice came out of the box: I heard you the first time! I'm putting my F***ing shoes on!