Time To Dig Out The Black Clothes...

I'm attending a funeral tomorrow. I won't name the deceased and the reason for that will become clear soon enough. Suffice to say it is a female and as a family we've known her for over 25 years. There's numerous connections with her in our family in one way or another. We went to school with her 2 boys. Her Mum worked with mine and was one of our neighbours when we grew up. My Dad and Uncle worked with her Brother-in-Law back when he was still that (they've since divorced). My Mum and Dad were friends with her and her Husband for many years and likewise her Sister and her Ex-Husband. My Brother-In-Law was in the same "social circle" as her Husband...meaning he drinks in the same pub and knows them through that.

She was a nice woman with a lovely personality. Never the sort to pass you in the street, always stopped to say hello. Never passed my Mum and Dad's without pausing at the gate for a natter and to say how gorgeous the grandkids were or to comment on how grown up my sister and I were now. She would often say how lucky my Mum and Dad were to have Grandkids and say how she couldn't wait to be a Granny herself.

She got her wish and her son and his wife had not so long ago had a baby boy.She and her Husband had just sold their house and were moving down there to be nearer their Grandson. They'd made plans and were looking to the future.

Now this is normally where the old "but fate had other ideas" line would be used. Sadly it doesn't apply here. For her life wasn't ended by an act of fate. It was ended by her own fair hand when she made the decision to kill herself. There is the reason I will not name her. Her family have asked that it not be made common knowledge, possibly because of the stigma attached to suicide and possibly because it's not how they want people to remember her. Of course it'll come out in the end...these things always do but I will respect the families wishes.

Her Husband came home and found her. One year exactly to the day that her Mum had died. Apparently she had struggled to cope with her Mum's death and had taken it hard. Her joy at being a Granny, her plans for moving down south to begin a new phase of her life were all just a cover up for the grief she felt. It's a tragic and sad ending to the life of a lovely woman who always walked down the road with a spring in her step and a smile on her face.

So tomorrow I'll be putting on the funeral clothes and heading to the crematorium with many others to say goodbye to another poor soul.

Jenny xx