Christmas is fast approaching and with it all the joys of the festive season.
People have their trees up, fairy lights shine from windows, everyone is out buying their gifts, the children are excited, the weather is cold and crisp, women are making the house cosy for Christmas, food is being bought, cards are arriving, relatives are getting ready to go to their loved ones for the big day and throughout the land is a sense of magic and calm, everyone filled with Christmas joy...and if you believe that you'll believe anything!
It's more a case of everyone being filled with stress and anger than Christmas joy. Have you noticed how we all become violence filled, crazed maniacs as Christmas approches? It's the same every year: Choas, stress and arguments and that's before the big day even appears!
Relationships and marriages suffer as husbands/partners/boyfriends are dragged round the shops by their other halves to purchase the necessary presents. The men would rather eat their own hands than have to be standing in a queue in Argos, especially on a Saturday afternoon when the footie is on.
Grown women fight with each other to grab the last Bratz doll or Power Ranger off the shelf in Toys R Us and normally placid Ladies get trolley rage fighting to get their sprouts and turkey in Marks & Sparks food hall. As for finding a car parking space in any shopping centre car park at a weekend...forget it! Families argue over where to put the tree and teenagers get pissed because Granny and Great Aunt Ethel are coming to stay so they need to clean their rooms and give up their beds.
Overdrafts get higher, credit card bills get higher and women get mad because despite all the hints, the other half hasn't been shopping for her present yet and she knows he'll leave it until Christmas Eve and she'll get a bra that's 2 sizes to big and crotchless pants that are 2 sizes too small or worse still a gift voucher!
I blame the wise men for all the hassles related to present buying...it's their fault we fight over car parking spaces, toys and turkey's...it's their fault we have to spend too much money...
I mean honestly...they rock up to the stable, not even knowing the family, poor Mary lying there puffed out from all that pushing, probably arguing with Joseph about who's baby it is and saddle sore from that bloody donkey ride and these 3 strange men appear bearing gifts...and because these wise men listened to voices and followed a star and felt the need to bring their gold, frankincense and myrhh as gifts to the baby we're all here arguing in Argos!
They started the whole present giving thing...so it follows that it's all their fault! Well I need to blame someone!
Jenny xx
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Imagine that...bringing gold, frankincence, and myrrh, when what they really needed was a truckload of disposable nappies, pureed babyfood, a microwave to sanitise the baby bottles, a DIY DNA test, some cool baby clothing (Israel is murder in summer, you know) and a large bottle of Johnny Walker green label...
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