Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Dad...


It is a year ago today since my Dad died.

The year has passed with incredible speed.

When you experience the death of a very close loved one you go through a number of emotions.

Grief, regret, anger, sorrow, hurt, resentment, wishful thinking, numbness...to name but a few. It is true that time eases the pain, you smile again, you move on with your life, carry on with the day to day stuff and make plans for the future. It is also true though that many of the feelings you felt at the time never go away. They stay with you in a somewhat milder form...but they are always there.

I long ago got my head around the realities involved in my Dad's death. I got to grips very quickly with the fact that he had gone and was not coming back. I no longer expect to see him, I no longer expect him to appear at my door for a visit, I no longer expect him to answer the phone when I ring Mum. However, having the reality sorted in your head does not stop your imagination running away...

I still wish he'd appear at the door for a visit, still wish h'd answer the phone when I ring...

I still feel the anger, sorrow, regret...More than anything though I feel cheated.

Jenny xx

2 comments:

Steven Douglas said...

Thanks for the wake-up call. I think I'll phone my folks now and find out how they're doing. It's been a week since I spoke to them...

If you ever need to "talk" to someone not in your immediate circle, give me a shout...

jenny said...

Why thank you kind sir. Your cousin however says I need to stay away from you..maybe he thinks I'll be a bad influence on you! Of course I don't listen to him in work even though he's in charge so why would I listen now? I'll bear your kind offer in mind. Thanks