So having lost Freddie the Goldfish and being the kind of mother I am I headed to Pets At Home to surprise 8 year old by buying her a replacement fish.
I wish I hadn't bothered.
I don't know if any of you have been to buy a Goldfish latelybut let me tell you this, it would be easier to buy heroin or indeed wipe out 40-odd billion of third world debt!
"I would like to buy a goldfish please" said I. Simple request really ain't it? Oh no.
Apparently Goldfish are protected under animal law and you must now under go a series of very important questions before you can be considered fit enough to home one.
Your Goldfish owning history is taken, the size and shape of your tank dictates which type you can buy, you need to prepare your water in advance by at least 24 hours, it needs to be de-chlorinated water, you need an algae reduction tablet, you must purchase an ornament to allow for sufficient shade, the fish must be fully rested for 24 hours before feeding it...and best of all "a goldfish is a big responsibility and we always ask that you go home and think it over for a day before deciding if you can commit to it, if you still want to proceed we will then supply you with everything you need and 24 hours later you can come and get your fish"
Bloody hell. I mean really..my Boxer dog, now that was a big commitment, but a fish? It's not like I need to walk it everyday or get it bloody neutered!
So I am without Goldfish as I am in thinking mode over whether I can commit or not.
I explained the above to 8 year old who is now also in thinking mode...she's thinking she'd like a rabbit instead!
I can't see it happening...Imagine what the test will be like for that?