Monday, August 21, 2006

Dear Mr Divemaster....

Dear Mr Divemaster,

I write in response to your earlier comment regarding the outcome of the football match which occured between the mighty Heart of Midlothian FC and Glasgow Rankgers FC on Saturday at Castle Greyskull which finished with Rankgers winning 2-0.

Your comment of GIRFUY (which for those uneducated in T'Internet speak translates to Get It Right Fucking Up You) suggested you were pleased by this result. Knowing your alliegance is to Paul Le Penguin's team this does not surprise me. I realise your pleasure at your team getting their second win of the season must have been all too much for you.

I, as a well rounded and balanced football supporter which all us Jambo's are, will happily concede that we were far from impressive on Saturday. Indeed we were rank rotten. However, this confession of how poor the mighty JT's were only heightens my hilarity at your pleasure over the result. The very fact being that Rankgers fans like yourself are very happy to have beaten a very poor Hearts side knowing damn fine that if you had faced a on form, full strength, injury free, Hearts side you would have had your arses well and truly skelpt much like your mediocre Glasgow neighbours did only a matter of weeks ago makes me laugh very hard.

I draw your attention at this time to the SPL table where you will no doubt see Rankgers have claimed top spot with Hearts 1 point behind. However, I would point out to you that Hearts have now played both the Infirm (oops I mean Old Firm teams) and have a much easier run of games now till October than Rankgers. Let's face it we all know you will drop 3 points to Glasgow Smeltic....I mean if you can't beat Dundee Utd or indeed Dunfermline and struggle to get past Motherwell... However, all credit to you and your team. We all know mediocre teams like Rankgers raise their games when they play big teams like the Jambo's!

I will close for now. It is Champions League football again this week and I must go and chat with my fellow Jambo's about the game. I trust you will be doing likewise with your fellow buckfast swilling, soap dodging ned friends in advance of Rankgers playing this week....Oh I do beg your pardon. How unforgivable of me. I completely forgot your team didn't make it into the CL or the qualifiers this season. Wasn't that because HMFC beat you to it?

Yours In Sport,

Jenny xx


Wreckless said...

I know Divemaster, and can confirm that he is the only supporter of the rangers anywhere in the world outside of Scotland! So, he won't be a ble to go and discuss the next game, etc., with anyone. He'll be doing it alone, on his own, with a cold beer, and a horse sized dog at his side...


Steven Douglas said...

Being the solitary fan in Africa of the aforementioned team of Jambo killers, I must object to not being given opportunity to speak on behalf of the supporters club (me) before the peanut gallery climbed in...(and anyway, he's not a "horse sized dog", Duke is in fact a dog-sized horse. But back to the response...

Say what you like, Miss Bleeding Heart(s), your team was outclassed on the day, which is what matters most. And then you come along with a terrible excuse like ain't that typical? I wonder if the players were injured, or if they were perhaps...scared...of getting on the field with a hairy-arsed bunch of foreigners? (Yes, I admit, neither of our teams are exactly brimming with hairy-arsed Scotsmen).

As for being second on the table, let's not get ahead of ourselves, will we? If the good lady would draw her attention to the BBC's SPL league table BBC SPL Table she would find that her beloved Bleeding Hearts are actually around about FIFTH place. Ok, I'll concede that if you look at a 2 in certain ways it could be a 5...actually, no, it doesn't, it's definately a 5.

At the end of the league season we'll see just where our respective squads are sitting and then the Jambo's can go on and move to their new ground to seat both of their geriatric supporters....

Break a leg in the CL...literally... :-)

Incidentally, the word verification is GIRFUY... :-)

Yours in not-to-be-taken-too-seriously football banter, Mr Divemaster.

jenny said...

Darling may read 5th in the league table but it's points that count and on that score we are equal second! Goal difference being a mere nonentity at this stage in proceedings!

Mr Le Penguin and his men will be welcomed to Tynie later in the season for a lesson in how to play football and I anxiously await the end of the season when we again put you out of CL football!