Dear Mr Divemaster,
I write in response to your earlier comment regarding the outcome of the football match which occured between the mighty Heart of Midlothian FC and Glasgow Rankgers FC on Saturday at Castle Greyskull which finished with Rankgers winning 2-0.
Your comment of GIRFUY (which for those uneducated in T'Internet speak translates to Get It Right Fucking Up You) suggested you were pleased by this result. Knowing your alliegance is to Paul Le Penguin's team this does not surprise me. I realise your pleasure at your team getting their second win of the season must have been all too much for you.
I, as a well rounded and balanced football supporter which all us Jambo's are, will happily concede that we were far from impressive on Saturday. Indeed we were rank rotten. However, this confession of how poor the mighty JT's were only heightens my hilarity at your pleasure over the result. The very fact being that Rankgers fans like yourself are very happy to have beaten a very poor Hearts side knowing damn fine that if you had faced a on form, full strength, injury free, Hearts side you would have had your arses well and truly skelpt much like your mediocre Glasgow neighbours did only a matter of weeks ago makes me laugh very hard.
I draw your attention at this time to the SPL table where you will no doubt see Rankgers have claimed top spot with Hearts 1 point behind. However, I would point out to you that Hearts have now played both the Infirm (oops I mean Old Firm teams) and have a much easier run of games now till October than Rankgers. Let's face it we all know you will drop 3 points to Glasgow Smeltic....I mean if you can't beat Dundee Utd or indeed Dunfermline and struggle to get past Motherwell... However, all credit to you and your team. We all know mediocre teams like Rankgers raise their games when they play big teams like the Jambo's!
I will close for now. It is Champions League football again this week and I must go and chat with my fellow Jambo's about the game. I trust you will be doing likewise with your fellow buckfast swilling, soap dodging ned friends in advance of Rankgers playing this week....Oh I do beg your pardon. How unforgivable of me. I completely forgot your team didn't make it into the CL or the qualifiers this season. Wasn't that because HMFC beat you to it?
Yours In Sport,