Friday, April 01, 2005

For My Sister...

An Open Letter to my Sis...

Dear Sister of Mine,

Just wanted to say a few words about Dad's website. You said to me the other day how it was wierd seeing someone else writing their thoughts and feelings about Dad down. How is was especially wierd as they are the same feelings you have. You made the point that only 2 people in the world will have these same and you. You also said that it looked as though I was the one holding it together and that people would be wondering "what happened to her sister? what did she do? where was she?". Well you made some good points. Said some things I had never thought about. I would though like to make a few points of my own if I may.

Firstly, you are so right, only the 2 of us can share the feelings. I know what I feel and know that you must feel the same way. There is no-one else I'd like to share these feelings with though than you. In a way I cannot and will not try to figure out..Dad dying has made our relationship stronger. You are my Little Sis, always will be and one day after Mum has gone which I hope will be a long time yet, you will be all I have left of the time when it was just us 4 Shaw's. We will have so many good memories to share together and again we will be the ones sharing the same feelings.

I probably didn't say at the time but I am very proud of how you dealt with Dad's death. I saw a different Gill then from the scatterbrianed one I know and love.

The website is my therapy if you like. I am deep and tend to bottle things up a bit, like Dad did in a way and writing has always been a way for me to express what I am thinking. It is not intended to make you feel bad but to make me feel get it out. You have the ability to cry your anger and frustration away where I can't and I envy you that.

I hope the site will be a place where our kids can go in years to come and read about Grandad. I hope it will help us to fulfill our promise never to let them forget. I may have written it but the story is for us all and mostly for Dad.

I Love You.

Jenny xx

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