So I said to you all a few posts ago that I knew how I was going to vote and for why. I have known for a while now what my preference was going to be..I can confirm that the lines are closed and the results have been verified...the winner in this years "who will jenny vote for?" competition is....
The Labour Party.
Why? Simple. The alternatives don't bear thinking about.
I was one of Thatchers children. I grew up under a Tory government.
I was at school learning about how my country was great. How we fought bad guys in the war and won. How we used to own half the world. How it was great to be British. At the same time our Government of the day was destoying out country right under our noses.
I grew up in a country... in recession, with mass unemployment, where the rich got richer and the poor got poorer, where house repossesion was rife, where intrest rates were crippling, where people lost all that they had worked to get, where mass strikes took place, where all our national companies were sold off, where lifetimes of industry were killed off, where Scottish people became second class citizens and guinea pigs for policies, where Poll Tax caused grief, families were torn apart by poor wages and fathers could not support their children.
I no longer live in a country like that....I still live in a country with problems...but who doesn't??. I now live in a country where unemployment is at it's lowest levels in decades, intrest rates are at their lowest levels in decades and I can afford to support my family. My Council Tax may increase every year but it's still less by half than my parents paid in Poll Tax each year. I may pay more tax but I get it back in Tax Credits which help me spend time with my children and not need to work full time to keep them.
As for the war in Iraq which seems to be the main reason people are dissing Tony Blair, let me say this...65 years ago we got involved in a war to rid the world of a dictator. To liberate people and give them back their freedom. We lost thousands upon thousands of men, our cities were destroyed and our people lived on rations. We made our leader at that time a Sir, we worshipped him.
In Iraq we did the same thing...got rid of a dictator, liberated people and gave them freedom. How come our opinions are now so very different? Now we want to fry our Leader for doing the same thing!
So I will vote Labour... I will vote for a final term of Tony Blair in charge. I will vote for the party that have made big improvements in turning our fortunes around. I will vote for the party who have the strongest Scottish politician, Gordon Brown.
Who will you vote for? You decide.
Jenny xx
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Colleen McLoughlin...Chav Princess!
Wayne Rooney slapped his girlfriend. He had probably just had her credit card bill in.
Colleen has played the whole event down. The press have gone wild calling Wayne a thug and have had their "experts" in advising Coleen to dump him.
Get a grip...I once hit my other half with a large tub of nappy cream in fit of petulance, he then threw a wet nappy at my head! Anyone with kids will tell you a wet nappy and a large tub of sudocreme can do damage to your head! Did we split up? No. We pissed ourselves laughing about it!
There is a time when domestic violence cannot be tolerated but there are times when we all momentarily do things in the heat of the moment that is silly or totally out of character.
I don't think of myself as a husband beater or my better half as a wife beater! I'll bet many a couple up and down the land have been in the same boat (although maybe not with a nappy and a tub of cream!!)
Colleen knows the script..she is a lass from a council estate background who's boyfriend happened to be talented and make the big time. She is living the dream. She has the money, the house, the cars, the credit cards. She is a chav (or ned as we scots call them) girl who is making the most of her break.
Maybe it will all go pear shaped for them. Who knows? Who cares?
What I do know is that Colleen would walk away with c list celebrity status, money in her pocket and probably her own chat show on itv 1 in the morning!
Jenny xx
Colleen has played the whole event down. The press have gone wild calling Wayne a thug and have had their "experts" in advising Coleen to dump him.
Get a grip...I once hit my other half with a large tub of nappy cream in fit of petulance, he then threw a wet nappy at my head! Anyone with kids will tell you a wet nappy and a large tub of sudocreme can do damage to your head! Did we split up? No. We pissed ourselves laughing about it!
There is a time when domestic violence cannot be tolerated but there are times when we all momentarily do things in the heat of the moment that is silly or totally out of character.
I don't think of myself as a husband beater or my better half as a wife beater! I'll bet many a couple up and down the land have been in the same boat (although maybe not with a nappy and a tub of cream!!)
Colleen knows the script..she is a lass from a council estate background who's boyfriend happened to be talented and make the big time. She is living the dream. She has the money, the house, the cars, the credit cards. She is a chav (or ned as we scots call them) girl who is making the most of her break.
Maybe it will all go pear shaped for them. Who knows? Who cares?
What I do know is that Colleen would walk away with c list celebrity status, money in her pocket and probably her own chat show on itv 1 in the morning!
Jenny xx
All Hail...Benedict The Dictator
So the Catholics have got their new Pope.
Good for them.
Tell me this though...if any country has a leader who is homophobic, racist, intolerant, facist, dictorial, sexist and uncompromising what would happen?
I'll tell you..the civilised world would enforce sanctions on them to get change, they would exclude the country from international committees and inevitably the USA would start a conflict with them and we would all join in.
Pope Benedict XVI is all of the things described above.
It may be coincidence but wasn't Hitler all of these things as well.
So how come we were willing to lose the lives of thousands and thousands of soldiers and civillians to rid the world of one such character yet we are openly applauding the election of another?
Beats me.
Jenny xx
Good for them.
Tell me this though...if any country has a leader who is homophobic, racist, intolerant, facist, dictorial, sexist and uncompromising what would happen?
I'll tell you..the civilised world would enforce sanctions on them to get change, they would exclude the country from international committees and inevitably the USA would start a conflict with them and we would all join in.
Pope Benedict XVI is all of the things described above.
It may be coincidence but wasn't Hitler all of these things as well.
So how come we were willing to lose the lives of thousands and thousands of soldiers and civillians to rid the world of one such character yet we are openly applauding the election of another?
Beats me.
Jenny xx
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
The Big Move...
Tomorrow is Mum's big moving day. By 5 o clock tomorrow we will have her installed in her new abode!
The van is hired, the boxes packed...everything ready to go!
It's been a long time coming...
Jenny xx
The van is hired, the boxes packed...everything ready to go!
It's been a long time coming...
Jenny xx
A New Enemy....
I am a woman at war.
There is a new enemy in my sights. It is sneaky, determined and always increasing in numbers. It is so far proving resistant to my weapons to destroy it.
It is head lice.
My 8 year old has got a head full. She's now had them for the best part of 3 months. I have treated her hair with everything under the sun, chemicals, conditioners, shampoo's, organic oils...but the little buggers just keep coming back. I might try weapons of mass destruction next...it's about all I haven't used!!!!
I spend hours combing, treating, washing and combing again, my 8 year olds hair but alas I am still getting nowhere.
I will not be beaten...I am now offically at war with these little critters and such is my obsession that I am actually feeling elated each time I crush one of them to death! I am now taking their refusal to die personally.
Of course if perhaps my child's school had a bloody nit nurse we might get a bit of assistance in sorting this out. It's all very well me treating my child but if some other parent doesn't we're back at square one again. I'm not alone here. Most of my child's friends are going through the same thing...we used to sit over coffee gossiping about the goings on in our street now we chat about nits!!!
Anyhow Nit stuff should be free...it's costing me a bloody fortune!!
Wish me luck..I'm off big beast hunting again!!
Jenny xx
There is a new enemy in my sights. It is sneaky, determined and always increasing in numbers. It is so far proving resistant to my weapons to destroy it.
It is head lice.
My 8 year old has got a head full. She's now had them for the best part of 3 months. I have treated her hair with everything under the sun, chemicals, conditioners, shampoo's, organic oils...but the little buggers just keep coming back. I might try weapons of mass destruction next...it's about all I haven't used!!!!
I spend hours combing, treating, washing and combing again, my 8 year olds hair but alas I am still getting nowhere.
I will not be beaten...I am now offically at war with these little critters and such is my obsession that I am actually feeling elated each time I crush one of them to death! I am now taking their refusal to die personally.
Of course if perhaps my child's school had a bloody nit nurse we might get a bit of assistance in sorting this out. It's all very well me treating my child but if some other parent doesn't we're back at square one again. I'm not alone here. Most of my child's friends are going through the same thing...we used to sit over coffee gossiping about the goings on in our street now we chat about nits!!!
Anyhow Nit stuff should be free...it's costing me a bloody fortune!!
Wish me luck..I'm off big beast hunting again!!
Jenny xx
I Love Blackpool!!!
Not been on here for a few days...went to Tackpool..I mean Blackpool for a wee overnight jaunt with the troops and the neighbours.
I love Blackpool...the tower, the pleasure beach, the promenade...I just love it.
There's nowhere else you can go on any ordinary weekend and see grown adults walking around with afro wigs, strange hats and fancy dress like it's perfectly normal and they do it all the time. Best thing is no-one bats an eye!
I like a good expensive hotel as much as the next person, but there's something about a B&B in Blackpool that you can't beat. Maybe it's the funny smell they seem to have, or maybe just the decor which is always throw back tack from a lost era!
Anyway...did all the rides, ate fish and chips, went up the tower and strolled along the prom.
A good weekend was had by all!
Jenny xx
I love Blackpool...the tower, the pleasure beach, the promenade...I just love it.
There's nowhere else you can go on any ordinary weekend and see grown adults walking around with afro wigs, strange hats and fancy dress like it's perfectly normal and they do it all the time. Best thing is no-one bats an eye!
I like a good expensive hotel as much as the next person, but there's something about a B&B in Blackpool that you can't beat. Maybe it's the funny smell they seem to have, or maybe just the decor which is always throw back tack from a lost era!
Anyway...did all the rides, ate fish and chips, went up the tower and strolled along the prom.
A good weekend was had by all!
Jenny xx
Friday, April 15, 2005
A Few Jokes To Start The Day...
Here's a few jokes I have heard over the last few days....
A man phones his doctors surgery to get his wife’s test results.
“I’m sorry” Says the receptionist “but I’m not sure I can give you them, you see we appear to have another patient with the same name and date of birth as your wife, I can’t be sure who’s results are who’s and since one is for an aids test and the other for alzheimers I’d hate to mix them up”
“jesus” says the husband “What are we going to do?”
“Well there is something that can be done” the receptionist tells him.
“What?” asks the husband.
“Send your wife out for a walk…and if she comes back don’t shag her!!”
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Smithville wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives, their families, etc.
Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears!! Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate. Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sits calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit.
Satan walks up to the man and says, "Hey, don't you know who I am?"
The man says, "Yep, sure do."
Satan says, "Well, aren't you afraid of me?"
The man says, "Nope, sure ain't."
Satan, perturbed, says, "And why aren't you afraid of me?"
"Well," Says the man "Your family aren't you? after all I've been married to your sister for 25 years."
Och well...on with another day...
Jenny xx
A man phones his doctors surgery to get his wife’s test results.
“I’m sorry” Says the receptionist “but I’m not sure I can give you them, you see we appear to have another patient with the same name and date of birth as your wife, I can’t be sure who’s results are who’s and since one is for an aids test and the other for alzheimers I’d hate to mix them up”
“jesus” says the husband “What are we going to do?”
“Well there is something that can be done” the receptionist tells him.
“What?” asks the husband.
“Send your wife out for a walk…and if she comes back don’t shag her!!”
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Smithville wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives, their families, etc.
Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears!! Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate. Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sits calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit.
Satan walks up to the man and says, "Hey, don't you know who I am?"
The man says, "Yep, sure do."
Satan says, "Well, aren't you afraid of me?"
The man says, "Nope, sure ain't."
Satan, perturbed, says, "And why aren't you afraid of me?"
"Well," Says the man "Your family aren't you? after all I've been married to your sister for 25 years."
Och well...on with another day...
Jenny xx
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Someone Is Reading This.............
Oh God Lord!
I got a comment on one of my posts...the one about my funeral!
And here was me thinking no-one would bother reading my rubbish!! (except those I have bribed to do so!)
Anyway, hello to John, whoever he may be...if you're still tuning in drop me a line and tell me about your blog so I can read what your writing!
Jenny xx
I got a comment on one of my posts...the one about my funeral!
And here was me thinking no-one would bother reading my rubbish!! (except those I have bribed to do so!)
Anyway, hello to John, whoever he may be...if you're still tuning in drop me a line and tell me about your blog so I can read what your writing!
Jenny xx
Ipod's Save Marriages...Official!!
Forget Therapy, marriage guidance and counselling. Ipod's are the thing you need to make your relationship better.
I've got one and so has my significant other. Today we have both been sitting round the house with our respective Ipod's attached to us. We haven't spoken for about 3 hours but occasionally we smile across the room at each other. Listening to your favourite music just makes you happy. Chills you out.
So I am happy...listening to my "girlie crap" while he sits happily listening to his "noise".
No arguments, no cross words - unless one of us sings out loud!
So there you have it - proof that Ipods are good for your love life...Official.
Jenny xx
I've got one and so has my significant other. Today we have both been sitting round the house with our respective Ipod's attached to us. We haven't spoken for about 3 hours but occasionally we smile across the room at each other. Listening to your favourite music just makes you happy. Chills you out.
So I am happy...listening to my "girlie crap" while he sits happily listening to his "noise".
No arguments, no cross words - unless one of us sings out loud!
So there you have it - proof that Ipods are good for your love life...Official.
Jenny xx
African Adventure...
Ross, my friend and fellow genius, is going to Africa at the end of the month.
His blog http://cnut.blogspot.com is full of all the things he'll be doing and all the places he'll be going as well as lot's of posts from him which show the excitement building!
One of the things I enjoy most in life is seeing other people get excited about things. It's infectious..I'm excited about Africa now and I'm not going!!
No doubt Ross will keep us updated on his adventure as he lives it.
I only hope he comes back as the cynical bastard I know and love and not some enlightened freak!!
Jenny xx
His blog http://cnut.blogspot.com is full of all the things he'll be doing and all the places he'll be going as well as lot's of posts from him which show the excitement building!
One of the things I enjoy most in life is seeing other people get excited about things. It's infectious..I'm excited about Africa now and I'm not going!!
No doubt Ross will keep us updated on his adventure as he lives it.
I only hope he comes back as the cynical bastard I know and love and not some enlightened freak!!
Jenny xx
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
She's Bloody Well Moving Alright....
We have been out today with my Mum looking round her new house.
She has been desperate to move from her present address since the day my Dad died (which was 9 days after they moved in) and has been waiting since January to get a look at her new place.
There is a touch of the Peter Kay about it...her new home is in a complex of sheltered houses...Mum is only 54! They are really designed for those who may be afraid living alone or may need help. As Mum has been recently widowed and has arthritis they decided to give her one.
Anyway we went for a nose round today. The verdict? It's the very fellow. Quite spacious, all brand new and shiny.
Quite frankly there was no need for us to go and view it at all. She was moving in whether she liked it or not! Both my sister and I are immensley glad to get her shifted I can assure you!
So all going to plan she'll be fully ensconsed in 7 days from now.
It feels a bit strange having her in sheltered housing at 54 but it saves us the bother of putting her in a home when she gets old!
Jenny xx
She has been desperate to move from her present address since the day my Dad died (which was 9 days after they moved in) and has been waiting since January to get a look at her new place.
There is a touch of the Peter Kay about it...her new home is in a complex of sheltered houses...Mum is only 54! They are really designed for those who may be afraid living alone or may need help. As Mum has been recently widowed and has arthritis they decided to give her one.
Anyway we went for a nose round today. The verdict? It's the very fellow. Quite spacious, all brand new and shiny.
Quite frankly there was no need for us to go and view it at all. She was moving in whether she liked it or not! Both my sister and I are immensley glad to get her shifted I can assure you!
So all going to plan she'll be fully ensconsed in 7 days from now.
It feels a bit strange having her in sheltered housing at 54 but it saves us the bother of putting her in a home when she gets old!
Jenny xx
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Homepage...
Is now up and running...it's fairly crap actually as I can spout all my rubbish here but it's there if you fancy it.
http://justjenny.mysite.wanadoo-members.co.uk
Jenny xx
http://justjenny.mysite.wanadoo-members.co.uk
Jenny xx
There's An Election Coming...
So we're off to the polls on May 5th then. Well some of us are. Apparently less than 49% of us are likely to vote.
I already know who I'm voting for and why. Maybe you do as well. In any event I will give you my opinion on the matter in a future post, after all everyone is entitled to my opinion!
Jenny xx
I already know who I'm voting for and why. Maybe you do as well. In any event I will give you my opinion on the matter in a future post, after all everyone is entitled to my opinion!
Jenny xx
Normality...
I am excited....I put my right foot on the ground today and didn't fall over!!
By Friday I should be hobbling about at great speed! Hurrah!!!
I have big bruises under my arms and down my ribs and my arms are like lead with those bloody crutches but I'm on the mend!!
Jenny xx
By Friday I should be hobbling about at great speed! Hurrah!!!
I have big bruises under my arms and down my ribs and my arms are like lead with those bloody crutches but I'm on the mend!!
Jenny xx
Monday, April 11, 2005
Chaz And Millie...
So at long last Charlie Boy has made an honest woman of Camilla. About bloody time.
I don't give a toss if he becomes King one day...I don't give a toss if she becomes Queen. To me this was a love story. Simple as that.
Camilla has waited 35 years for her Prince and has finally bagged him even though the public once thought she was the devils work.
I for one wish they had married all those years ago...they would have been happy and Diana would probably still be alive and living her life with someone else.
Diana was undoubtedly an asset to the Royal family but she was not a victim of it, she was a victim of circumstance and she was as good as any at manipulation when it was needed. Camilla would probably have been a safer bet all round even way back then. She looks every inch the suitable escort for our future King. Much more so than a young, beautiful, naive, immature, unstable girl who wanted the status and the freedom as well.
Camilla has taken a lot of stick over the years, all those comments about her being ugly and frumpy, but yesterday she looked radiant and her and Charlie made a great looking couple.
I hope they have a long and happy marriage.
PS - Someone ought to tell HM the Queen that it is rude to wear Ivory or White to a wedding when you are not the bride. Oh and a few smiles wouldn't go amiss either..could she look anymore miserable??
Jenny xx
I don't give a toss if he becomes King one day...I don't give a toss if she becomes Queen. To me this was a love story. Simple as that.
Camilla has waited 35 years for her Prince and has finally bagged him even though the public once thought she was the devils work.
I for one wish they had married all those years ago...they would have been happy and Diana would probably still be alive and living her life with someone else.
Diana was undoubtedly an asset to the Royal family but she was not a victim of it, she was a victim of circumstance and she was as good as any at manipulation when it was needed. Camilla would probably have been a safer bet all round even way back then. She looks every inch the suitable escort for our future King. Much more so than a young, beautiful, naive, immature, unstable girl who wanted the status and the freedom as well.
Camilla has taken a lot of stick over the years, all those comments about her being ugly and frumpy, but yesterday she looked radiant and her and Charlie made a great looking couple.
I hope they have a long and happy marriage.
PS - Someone ought to tell HM the Queen that it is rude to wear Ivory or White to a wedding when you are not the bride. Oh and a few smiles wouldn't go amiss either..could she look anymore miserable??
Jenny xx
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Coming Through..Lady On Crutches!!!
Out of the way...coming through..mad woman on crutches....
Yes, I've had a disaster!
Yesterday I decided to break into a little sprint while crossing the road. Don't ask what happened..I never felt a thing! I got back in the car and my foot hurt like hell.
I spent yesterday hopping around refusing to go to hospital as you do. Today though I felt the need to concede defeat and made my way to casualty.
Turns out I've pulled the ligaments and/or tendons in my heel. The achilies or something! Apparently I'm lucky as I haven't torn it which would have resulted in 8 weeks in a plaster cast!
I am now bandaged up to the knee and in possession of a pair of crutches!!
Anyone who has ever had crutches will know that as well as a sore foot I now have sore armpits!! Christ they're hard work! I'm a danger to those around me when I'm on them!
So it's complete rest for the next few days then trying to get moving it again. I've to go to Physio for help with that which I'm sure will be fun!
On the plus side...I have some great painkillers which make me feel totally out of it and I did get a win on the horses yesterday, which is just as well as I was leaving the bookies when this happened!
Jenny xx
Yes, I've had a disaster!
Yesterday I decided to break into a little sprint while crossing the road. Don't ask what happened..I never felt a thing! I got back in the car and my foot hurt like hell.
I spent yesterday hopping around refusing to go to hospital as you do. Today though I felt the need to concede defeat and made my way to casualty.
Turns out I've pulled the ligaments and/or tendons in my heel. The achilies or something! Apparently I'm lucky as I haven't torn it which would have resulted in 8 weeks in a plaster cast!
I am now bandaged up to the knee and in possession of a pair of crutches!!
Anyone who has ever had crutches will know that as well as a sore foot I now have sore armpits!! Christ they're hard work! I'm a danger to those around me when I'm on them!
So it's complete rest for the next few days then trying to get moving it again. I've to go to Physio for help with that which I'm sure will be fun!
On the plus side...I have some great painkillers which make me feel totally out of it and I did get a win on the horses yesterday, which is just as well as I was leaving the bookies when this happened!
Jenny xx
Thursday, April 07, 2005
I Did It My Way.....
I'm just back from a funeral. It was the usual affair. Hymns, readings, someone who didn't know the deceased from Adam speaking about him as if he knew him well and not quite getting it right. Most funerals are the same. We all say "It was a nice service" don't we? More often than not though we don't mean it.
Today's funeral has got me thinking....always dangerous, but more so when death is involved!!
I've realised my funeral will be my last chance to make my mark on this earth. I have toyed with this idea before but now my mind is made up...and I'm doing it my way!!
So here it is...
Firstly, I'm having a theme - Wizard of Oz
No hearses - Horse drawn carriage, eastend style!
Black glossy coffin trimmed in silver specially made with two feet sticking out the bottom wearing ruby slippers!
Aisle should be paved with Yellow Brick (ok fake it have you have to!!)
Dwarves to be hired in to act as munchkins.
Actresses to be hired in as wailing mourners - dressed in black and looking anguished - must wear veils!!
As I am removed from the church to my burial site I want "ding dong the witch is dead" to be played
When I am finally being placed in my hole in the ground, I want a puff of smoke (green preferably!) and a voice recording of me saying "I'll get you my pretty, you and your little dog!"
Then when it's time to fill me in...don't throw a handful of mud. Instead a few drops of holy water.
When the holy water hits my coffin I want the voice recording to say "I'm melting, I'm melting!"
If you really feel you can't do Wizard of Oz, come as your favourite disney character - I would like at least one Buzz Lightyear and a Sherrif Woody!!
Afterwards...a party, fancy dress of course! A disco, buffet and drink! I'll arrange to leave behind a few prizes for a raffle!
So there you have it...my funeral! My last chance to be me! Should be a good laugh.
Of course...It may just end up as hymns, readings and someone who didn't know me talking about me as if they did but hey what do I care? I won't be around to see it!!!!!!!
Jenny xx
Today's funeral has got me thinking....always dangerous, but more so when death is involved!!
I've realised my funeral will be my last chance to make my mark on this earth. I have toyed with this idea before but now my mind is made up...and I'm doing it my way!!
So here it is...
Firstly, I'm having a theme - Wizard of Oz
No hearses - Horse drawn carriage, eastend style!
Black glossy coffin trimmed in silver specially made with two feet sticking out the bottom wearing ruby slippers!
Aisle should be paved with Yellow Brick (ok fake it have you have to!!)
Dwarves to be hired in to act as munchkins.
Actresses to be hired in as wailing mourners - dressed in black and looking anguished - must wear veils!!
As I am removed from the church to my burial site I want "ding dong the witch is dead" to be played
When I am finally being placed in my hole in the ground, I want a puff of smoke (green preferably!) and a voice recording of me saying "I'll get you my pretty, you and your little dog!"
Then when it's time to fill me in...don't throw a handful of mud. Instead a few drops of holy water.
When the holy water hits my coffin I want the voice recording to say "I'm melting, I'm melting!"
If you really feel you can't do Wizard of Oz, come as your favourite disney character - I would like at least one Buzz Lightyear and a Sherrif Woody!!
Afterwards...a party, fancy dress of course! A disco, buffet and drink! I'll arrange to leave behind a few prizes for a raffle!
So there you have it...my funeral! My last chance to be me! Should be a good laugh.
Of course...It may just end up as hymns, readings and someone who didn't know me talking about me as if they did but hey what do I care? I won't be around to see it!!!!!!!
Jenny xx
Off To Psychic School....
I'm going to go to psychic school. I imagine if I trail the internet enough I'll find one. I do have a good reason for wanting to go....Here are a few examples...
Mum: -
"Hello it's me, I've just phoned your sister but she's not in, where is she?"
"Hello it's me, I've just phoned your sister and she's engaged, who the hell is she talking to?"
"Hello it's me, I'm trying to get your sister on her mobile but I'm not getting an answer. Has she got her mobile with her?"
"Hello it's me, I can't decide if I should put my washing out, is it going to rain?"
"Hello it's me, I saw someone today that you know, do you know who?"
"Hello it's me, Do you know if your sister is on her way to mine?"
Hello it's me, that woman was supposed to be here an hour ago. Do you think she's not coming?"
These are typical examples of phone calls I receive from my mother each week.
So my reason for going to psychic school is simple...it will allow me to have a decent conversation with my mother!!
Jenny xx
Mum: -
"Hello it's me, I've just phoned your sister but she's not in, where is she?"
"Hello it's me, I've just phoned your sister and she's engaged, who the hell is she talking to?"
"Hello it's me, I'm trying to get your sister on her mobile but I'm not getting an answer. Has she got her mobile with her?"
"Hello it's me, I can't decide if I should put my washing out, is it going to rain?"
"Hello it's me, I saw someone today that you know, do you know who?"
"Hello it's me, Do you know if your sister is on her way to mine?"
Hello it's me, that woman was supposed to be here an hour ago. Do you think she's not coming?"
These are typical examples of phone calls I receive from my mother each week.
So my reason for going to psychic school is simple...it will allow me to have a decent conversation with my mother!!
Jenny xx
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Sad News..
I got told today of the death of one of our members at the club.
It didn't come as great surprise as his health had deteriorated rapidly in the last week or so.
He was a nice man though and I'll miss the regularity of serving him his grouse whisky each week.
Goodbye Gus. RIP
Jenny xx
It didn't come as great surprise as his health had deteriorated rapidly in the last week or so.
He was a nice man though and I'll miss the regularity of serving him his grouse whisky each week.
Goodbye Gus. RIP
Jenny xx
I Don't Recommend Trying It...
There is a new sex craze about to hit our shores from the USA.
It's called rodeo sex.
The basics are as follows:
Man enters wife from behind
Man reaches round to cup wife's breasts
Man then whispers in wife's ear "man those feel almost as good as your sister's"
Man then tries to hold on for 10 seconds!!
Like I said I don't recommend trying it!!!!!!!!!!
Jenny xx
It's called rodeo sex.
The basics are as follows:
Man enters wife from behind
Man reaches round to cup wife's breasts
Man then whispers in wife's ear "man those feel almost as good as your sister's"
Man then tries to hold on for 10 seconds!!
Like I said I don't recommend trying it!!!!!!!!!!
Jenny xx
Get A Bloody Life...
Phone rings...
"Hello, I'm calling from the usa, you recently spoke to my colleague about having an intrest in the stock market" says a singsong voice
"Em no I didn't" says I
"Yes you did..anyway I'm here to give you some more information" says a cheery toned american female
"no you're not" says I
"Yes I am and you'll like what I'm going to say...I'll change your negative view...this could really help you get a better financial future for you and your family...it could make you rich...you give me 10 minutes and I can help change your life, you could be sending your kids to college without worrying about expense, you could travel the world, retire early from your employment...that sounds good right? so now what do you say?" Says over cheery patronising american woman.
"Fuck Off" says I.
Click. Phone goes down.
You know I may well have chatted a bit longer had I not had a life. And anyway who the fuck does she think she is calling during Eastenders.
Jenny xx
"Hello, I'm calling from the usa, you recently spoke to my colleague about having an intrest in the stock market" says a singsong voice
"Em no I didn't" says I
"Yes you did..anyway I'm here to give you some more information" says a cheery toned american female
"no you're not" says I
"Yes I am and you'll like what I'm going to say...I'll change your negative view...this could really help you get a better financial future for you and your family...it could make you rich...you give me 10 minutes and I can help change your life, you could be sending your kids to college without worrying about expense, you could travel the world, retire early from your employment...that sounds good right? so now what do you say?" Says over cheery patronising american woman.
"Fuck Off" says I.
Click. Phone goes down.
You know I may well have chatted a bit longer had I not had a life. And anyway who the fuck does she think she is calling during Eastenders.
Jenny xx
Monday, April 04, 2005
It's Got To Be Mentioned...
Saturday was not only my birthday but was a day of great joy in my house for another reason. That reason was this....Celtic 0 Hearts 2.
Funny how things just make you happy eh?
Beating any the old firm is a cause for great delight for supporters of all the other teams in the league. It is especially sweet when it's on their turf and when one of their ex players does the damage and all the more sweet when your work are playing host to Billy McNeill, celtic legend, next day!!!
Anyway I shall not brag...We play them again in the cup semi in a few days time and I will eat my hat if they don't hump us something rotten!!!
For now though I shall enjoy the moment.....
"Away up in gorgie at Tynecastle park......."
Jenny xx
Funny how things just make you happy eh?
Beating any the old firm is a cause for great delight for supporters of all the other teams in the league. It is especially sweet when it's on their turf and when one of their ex players does the damage and all the more sweet when your work are playing host to Billy McNeill, celtic legend, next day!!!
Anyway I shall not brag...We play them again in the cup semi in a few days time and I will eat my hat if they don't hump us something rotten!!!
For now though I shall enjoy the moment.....
"Away up in gorgie at Tynecastle park......."
Jenny xx
Boys Will Be Boys...
I came home from work last night to find my Mum on the sofa with my nephew and the rest of the house quiet. Strange as she was watching 3 of her grandchildren and quiet is not normally a word associated with this.
I find out that she is utterly horrified because my nephew and my son went out to play and came home soaking wet and covered in mud from head to toe.
They had been playing in the burn at the back of my street. Granny was outraged when my 4 year old informed her he did this a lot.
She promptly stripped them both, bathed them and now had one cuddled up in bed and the other on her knee.
I got a lecture about the dangers of the water, the dangers of the mud, the germs they will now have, the state of their clothes, the bugs they will have encountered and I'm sure she mentioned diptheria and scarlet fever!!!
It's obvious my mother only had girls to raise. Any parent with a son knows that if they come in clean they've been up to no good!!!
Jenny xx
I find out that she is utterly horrified because my nephew and my son went out to play and came home soaking wet and covered in mud from head to toe.
They had been playing in the burn at the back of my street. Granny was outraged when my 4 year old informed her he did this a lot.
She promptly stripped them both, bathed them and now had one cuddled up in bed and the other on her knee.
I got a lecture about the dangers of the water, the dangers of the mud, the germs they will now have, the state of their clothes, the bugs they will have encountered and I'm sure she mentioned diptheria and scarlet fever!!!
It's obvious my mother only had girls to raise. Any parent with a son knows that if they come in clean they've been up to no good!!!
Jenny xx
I Just Don't Get It....
So the Pope has died. Hundreds of thousands of catholics will be making the pilgramage to Rome and The Vatican. Countries have declared nation periods of mourning, world leaders are preparing to attend the funeral later this week.
I just don't get it myself.
Don't get me wrong it's not that I'm anti Catholic...not at all...indeed many of my own family are catholic but I don't get all the fuss. Yes so the Pope was a "leader" of the Cathoic faith, but he was also a bigoted, backwards thinking, sexist, fascist who, through his refusal to drag the Catholic church into the 21st century has done nothing to help it's reputation or cause.
Catholics need a fun guy in charge...and I mean that most respectfully! Let's think about it Catholisism is a fun religion. After all it is a religion which preaches of sinners and sinning and compells us to believe that nearly everything in life is a sin of some sort...but then if you do sin just tell all to your priest, say a few prayers and hey presto your forgiven...so to recap you can do anything you want but if you're sorry it's cool. Now that is fun!!! Also where else can you get a drink at 10 am on a sunday morning??? So it's fake wine...the principle is there though eh? Another thing we should note is that Catholisism is the national religion in Ireland..and we all know those guys like a party...they're among the most hospitable and friendly people in the world. So I'm of the opinion that Catholisism could be great if we could get the right leader in place. After all who wouldn't want to be in a gang where they have rules that are there to be broken??
On a more serious note....I sincerely hope the new Pope will have knowledge of the words condom and abortion and will realise how both can be used in a good way to benefit people.
Whatever you're preference...Have a nice day!!!!
Jenny xx
I just don't get it myself.
Don't get me wrong it's not that I'm anti Catholic...not at all...indeed many of my own family are catholic but I don't get all the fuss. Yes so the Pope was a "leader" of the Cathoic faith, but he was also a bigoted, backwards thinking, sexist, fascist who, through his refusal to drag the Catholic church into the 21st century has done nothing to help it's reputation or cause.
Catholics need a fun guy in charge...and I mean that most respectfully! Let's think about it Catholisism is a fun religion. After all it is a religion which preaches of sinners and sinning and compells us to believe that nearly everything in life is a sin of some sort...but then if you do sin just tell all to your priest, say a few prayers and hey presto your forgiven...so to recap you can do anything you want but if you're sorry it's cool. Now that is fun!!! Also where else can you get a drink at 10 am on a sunday morning??? So it's fake wine...the principle is there though eh? Another thing we should note is that Catholisism is the national religion in Ireland..and we all know those guys like a party...they're among the most hospitable and friendly people in the world. So I'm of the opinion that Catholisism could be great if we could get the right leader in place. After all who wouldn't want to be in a gang where they have rules that are there to be broken??
On a more serious note....I sincerely hope the new Pope will have knowledge of the words condom and abortion and will realise how both can be used in a good way to benefit people.
Whatever you're preference...Have a nice day!!!!
Jenny xx
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Happy Birthday To Me!!!!
It's my Birthday. My favourite day of the year. 2nd April. I don't know why I like birthday's so much, just always have. I enjoy other peoples as much as my own!!
2 hours ago I had my hair done.
In 2 minutes I'm opening a bottle of wine.
In 2 hours I'm off out.
By the time my actual arrival time into the world comes at 10.20pm tonight I will no doubt have drunk more vodka than is good for me and will think I am Olivia Newton John. I will embarass myslef by doing the moves to Tragedy by Steps or heaven forbid the Cha Cha Slide!!
In the morning I will most certainly feel my new age..which is a secret!!!
So depite the impending hangover I know will come...it's Happy Birthday To Me!!!! Now where's the bloody corkscrew???
Jenny xx
2 hours ago I had my hair done.
In 2 minutes I'm opening a bottle of wine.
In 2 hours I'm off out.
By the time my actual arrival time into the world comes at 10.20pm tonight I will no doubt have drunk more vodka than is good for me and will think I am Olivia Newton John. I will embarass myslef by doing the moves to Tragedy by Steps or heaven forbid the Cha Cha Slide!!
In the morning I will most certainly feel my new age..which is a secret!!!
So depite the impending hangover I know will come...it's Happy Birthday To Me!!!! Now where's the bloody corkscrew???
Jenny xx
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Still Laughing....
It was the anniversary of my Uncle's death yesterday. 6 years since he was killed in a tragic accident after falling no more than 10 feet from a ladder.
He was a character, one in a million and an unrivaled storyteller. He saved my Dad's life after he was shot in the war, Wrestled with a great white shark and was a motorcylcing champion. Of course none of it was true..but when you're 8 you'll believe anything!! He was a hero to his nieces and nephews and since his death is now a family legend.
As well as being my Dad's brother in law he was also his great mate. Now they are together agin god only knows what havoc they are causing on the other side. I know this though...if there's a pub up there they're in it!!
Uncle Andrew...we still remember and we still laugh.
RIP
Jenny xx
He was a character, one in a million and an unrivaled storyteller. He saved my Dad's life after he was shot in the war, Wrestled with a great white shark and was a motorcylcing champion. Of course none of it was true..but when you're 8 you'll believe anything!! He was a hero to his nieces and nephews and since his death is now a family legend.
As well as being my Dad's brother in law he was also his great mate. Now they are together agin god only knows what havoc they are causing on the other side. I know this though...if there's a pub up there they're in it!!
Uncle Andrew...we still remember and we still laugh.
RIP
Jenny xx
Friday, April 01, 2005
Oh Ross
I have just been browsing my mate Ross' blog.
He's been playing host all week to Sara, a friend who's over from Sweden. Sara used to work in the club that Ross and I currently bless with our presence.
Ross has got a posting on about his feelings for Sara which make intresting reading. To the untrained eye it looks as though Ross is expressing that he has realised he feels more for Sara than just friendship. If only it were that simple.
Let me tell you about Ross as I see it. Ross is the sort of person I like and get frustrated with all at the same time. Why? Becasue he has so much potential but cannot see the way to use it productively. I'm not talking about his comedy...I'm talking about him. The person.
He is a loving, caring man. A good specimen of a human being. He may preach about how life sucks and the establishment fuck him up but that is comedy Ross. Not to be confused with real Ross. Real Ross wants the picture we all want...love, companionship, family. He might not like to think so but read the poetry for yourself, read the blogs for yourself and tell me I'm not right.
I'll be honest and say that until recently Ross has been a friend I work with and have known for a while. In this last few days I have realised that Ross is a good friend, someone I'd like to know for life. The sort of person you choose to have around not just tolerate. Now the fog of my Dad's death is lifting I can see those who were there when I needed them and who still are. Ross is one such person. I know I can approach him with anything, be met with a sarcastic remark and gentleness all at one time. A rare and beautiful combination!!
One day he'll meet someone and everything will fall into place for him, like the dream he has. When he does the hurts of the past, although always there, will turn from negative to positive and will no doubt provide great comedy value. Nothing is funnier than life and it's mysteries and up's and down's.
No doubt I will watch as he stumbles on for a while, holding onto his past like a drunk holds the bottle, but I'll leave him to find his own way. When he does and I'm proved right...I won't say I told you so, friends don't do that. I'll just buy my hat for the wedding, sit back and observe my clever, witty, loving, intelligent and funny friend become a great partner and a great Dad.
For now though let's let Ross be Ross.
Jenny xx
He's been playing host all week to Sara, a friend who's over from Sweden. Sara used to work in the club that Ross and I currently bless with our presence.
Ross has got a posting on about his feelings for Sara which make intresting reading. To the untrained eye it looks as though Ross is expressing that he has realised he feels more for Sara than just friendship. If only it were that simple.
Let me tell you about Ross as I see it. Ross is the sort of person I like and get frustrated with all at the same time. Why? Becasue he has so much potential but cannot see the way to use it productively. I'm not talking about his comedy...I'm talking about him. The person.
He is a loving, caring man. A good specimen of a human being. He may preach about how life sucks and the establishment fuck him up but that is comedy Ross. Not to be confused with real Ross. Real Ross wants the picture we all want...love, companionship, family. He might not like to think so but read the poetry for yourself, read the blogs for yourself and tell me I'm not right.
I'll be honest and say that until recently Ross has been a friend I work with and have known for a while. In this last few days I have realised that Ross is a good friend, someone I'd like to know for life. The sort of person you choose to have around not just tolerate. Now the fog of my Dad's death is lifting I can see those who were there when I needed them and who still are. Ross is one such person. I know I can approach him with anything, be met with a sarcastic remark and gentleness all at one time. A rare and beautiful combination!!
One day he'll meet someone and everything will fall into place for him, like the dream he has. When he does the hurts of the past, although always there, will turn from negative to positive and will no doubt provide great comedy value. Nothing is funnier than life and it's mysteries and up's and down's.
No doubt I will watch as he stumbles on for a while, holding onto his past like a drunk holds the bottle, but I'll leave him to find his own way. When he does and I'm proved right...I won't say I told you so, friends don't do that. I'll just buy my hat for the wedding, sit back and observe my clever, witty, loving, intelligent and funny friend become a great partner and a great Dad.
For now though let's let Ross be Ross.
Jenny xx
Sick Mind
I'm sad to say I did a bad thing today...
I was sat there in KFC having my lunch with my troops and gazing out the window when I see woman and a man walking towards the entrance. Seconds later and Bang!! the woman trips and falls to the ground. Now let me make it clear she was about 30 not some old Grandma who might have needed a new hip after the fall.
So what did I do...Rush out to help? Wonder if she had hurt herself? No.
I fell (excuse the pun) about laughing. I mean really cracked up. You know the laughter I mean...tears running down my cheeks, sides hurting, face getting red from the effort of it all. My laughing caused others to look at what I found so funny which no doubt added to the poor woman's embarrassment.
I know I am a disgraceful human being to laugh at anothers misfortune. Next time I'll go and help.
Oh who am I trying to kid?...I haven't laughed so much in ages, It fair made my day!!
Jenny xx
I was sat there in KFC having my lunch with my troops and gazing out the window when I see woman and a man walking towards the entrance. Seconds later and Bang!! the woman trips and falls to the ground. Now let me make it clear she was about 30 not some old Grandma who might have needed a new hip after the fall.
So what did I do...Rush out to help? Wonder if she had hurt herself? No.
I fell (excuse the pun) about laughing. I mean really cracked up. You know the laughter I mean...tears running down my cheeks, sides hurting, face getting red from the effort of it all. My laughing caused others to look at what I found so funny which no doubt added to the poor woman's embarrassment.
I know I am a disgraceful human being to laugh at anothers misfortune. Next time I'll go and help.
Oh who am I trying to kid?...I haven't laughed so much in ages, It fair made my day!!
Jenny xx
When I grow Up...
My 8 year old asked me the other day why it was important that she went to school and tried hard. Aware that my 4 year old who starts school in August is listening I decide to give her a sensible answer.
I explained it was important because it would help her become clever and would help her get a good job. I told her it would give her choices when she was older.
"But what if I choose to be a Pop Star? They don't need to be good at school stuff cause they just sing and dance" she said. I explained that they need to be able to read to learn the words to the songs.
"Ok but what if I choose to be a toilet cleaner?" she says all innocent faced. "Is that a choice I can make?"
What is a mother to do??? I explained that no matter what she ended up being, she need to stick in at school so she would have a choice of things to do instead of being forced to do something she didn't want to do.
"Right so if I'm clever at school I can choose if I want to be a pop star or a toilet cleaner? Is that what you mean by having a choice Mum?" I can feel myself getting drawn into ever decreasing circles here...
"Well sweetheart" I said "Put it this way, if you do well at school and still choose to be a toilet cleaner I won't stand in your way but I'd like you to have the choice to be a Brain Surgeon"
8 year old looks at me as if I'm mad. "Mum, that sounds a bit hard, I'm going to choose to try hard at reading and just stick with being a pop star" Oh well, roll on the teenage years!!
I'm ok with my 4 year old son, we'll not have any trouble with him. At the end of my conversation with his Sister he informs me he is going to be a Power Ranger when he grows up...but he might choose to be Fred from Scooby Doo. Kids Eh?
Jenny xx
I explained it was important because it would help her become clever and would help her get a good job. I told her it would give her choices when she was older.
"But what if I choose to be a Pop Star? They don't need to be good at school stuff cause they just sing and dance" she said. I explained that they need to be able to read to learn the words to the songs.
"Ok but what if I choose to be a toilet cleaner?" she says all innocent faced. "Is that a choice I can make?"
What is a mother to do??? I explained that no matter what she ended up being, she need to stick in at school so she would have a choice of things to do instead of being forced to do something she didn't want to do.
"Right so if I'm clever at school I can choose if I want to be a pop star or a toilet cleaner? Is that what you mean by having a choice Mum?" I can feel myself getting drawn into ever decreasing circles here...
"Well sweetheart" I said "Put it this way, if you do well at school and still choose to be a toilet cleaner I won't stand in your way but I'd like you to have the choice to be a Brain Surgeon"
8 year old looks at me as if I'm mad. "Mum, that sounds a bit hard, I'm going to choose to try hard at reading and just stick with being a pop star" Oh well, roll on the teenage years!!
I'm ok with my 4 year old son, we'll not have any trouble with him. At the end of my conversation with his Sister he informs me he is going to be a Power Ranger when he grows up...but he might choose to be Fred from Scooby Doo. Kids Eh?
Jenny xx
For My Sister...
An Open Letter to my Sis...
Dear Sister of Mine,
Just wanted to say a few words about Dad's website. You said to me the other day how it was wierd seeing someone else writing their thoughts and feelings about Dad down. How is was especially wierd as they are the same feelings you have. You made the point that only 2 people in the world will have these same feelings...me and you. You also said that it looked as though I was the one holding it together and that people would be wondering "what happened to her sister? what did she do? where was she?". Well you made some good points. Said some things I had never thought about. I would though like to make a few points of my own if I may.
Firstly, you are so right, only the 2 of us can share the feelings. I know what I feel and know that you must feel the same way. There is no-one else I'd like to share these feelings with though than you. In a way I cannot and will not try to figure out..Dad dying has made our relationship stronger. You are my Little Sis, always will be and one day after Mum has gone which I hope will be a long time yet, you will be all I have left of the time when it was just us 4 Shaw's. We will have so many good memories to share together and again we will be the ones sharing the same feelings.
I probably didn't say at the time but I am very proud of how you dealt with Dad's death. I saw a different Gill then from the scatterbrianed one I know and love.
The website is my therapy if you like. I am deep and tend to bottle things up a bit, like Dad did in a way and writing has always been a way for me to express what I am thinking. It is not intended to make you feel bad but to make me feel better...to get it out. You have the ability to cry your anger and frustration away where I can't and I envy you that.
I hope the site will be a place where our kids can go in years to come and read about Grandad. I hope it will help us to fulfill our promise never to let them forget. I may have written it but the story is for us all and mostly for Dad.
I Love You.
Jenny xx
Dear Sister of Mine,
Just wanted to say a few words about Dad's website. You said to me the other day how it was wierd seeing someone else writing their thoughts and feelings about Dad down. How is was especially wierd as they are the same feelings you have. You made the point that only 2 people in the world will have these same feelings...me and you. You also said that it looked as though I was the one holding it together and that people would be wondering "what happened to her sister? what did she do? where was she?". Well you made some good points. Said some things I had never thought about. I would though like to make a few points of my own if I may.
Firstly, you are so right, only the 2 of us can share the feelings. I know what I feel and know that you must feel the same way. There is no-one else I'd like to share these feelings with though than you. In a way I cannot and will not try to figure out..Dad dying has made our relationship stronger. You are my Little Sis, always will be and one day after Mum has gone which I hope will be a long time yet, you will be all I have left of the time when it was just us 4 Shaw's. We will have so many good memories to share together and again we will be the ones sharing the same feelings.
I probably didn't say at the time but I am very proud of how you dealt with Dad's death. I saw a different Gill then from the scatterbrianed one I know and love.
The website is my therapy if you like. I am deep and tend to bottle things up a bit, like Dad did in a way and writing has always been a way for me to express what I am thinking. It is not intended to make you feel bad but to make me feel better...to get it out. You have the ability to cry your anger and frustration away where I can't and I envy you that.
I hope the site will be a place where our kids can go in years to come and read about Grandad. I hope it will help us to fulfill our promise never to let them forget. I may have written it but the story is for us all and mostly for Dad.
I Love You.
Jenny xx
The Meaning Of Life?
I've received an e mail today from a company carrying out research into the question "What is the meaning of life?". They wanted my answer to it.
It's a question that has puzzled mankind for all eternity, many a great philosopher has tried to find the answer, many a famous scientist has tried to baffle us with their answers by blinding us all with scientific theories. Even Freud must have thougth about it and came up with his own conclusion. What the fuck makes this lot think I have the answer? Me, a bloody Mum of 2 from Scotland? Saying that I probably know a bit more about what real life involves than any scientist or philosopher!
My response was this....Who gives a shit? While these bloody idiots waste their life trying to figure it out, I'll actually be living life! They will die without finding the answer and without ever having had a life. I on the other hand will have many a good, bad or just plain mad memory to look back on...
Jenny xx
It's a question that has puzzled mankind for all eternity, many a great philosopher has tried to find the answer, many a famous scientist has tried to baffle us with their answers by blinding us all with scientific theories. Even Freud must have thougth about it and came up with his own conclusion. What the fuck makes this lot think I have the answer? Me, a bloody Mum of 2 from Scotland? Saying that I probably know a bit more about what real life involves than any scientist or philosopher!
My response was this....Who gives a shit? While these bloody idiots waste their life trying to figure it out, I'll actually be living life! They will die without finding the answer and without ever having had a life. I on the other hand will have many a good, bad or just plain mad memory to look back on...
Jenny xx
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