Following my earlier post about my so called "friend" the general opinion seems to be that I should cut all ties with the offending thing.
Mmmm. I'm not sure about making it that easy yet. As I've already said I normally go in all guns blazing. I'm not hugely confrontational but when I'm pissed people generally know about it.
In the intrests of fairness and logic though I feel it may be an idea to gather opinions on the matter and ponder them over. After all some of you folks on here give not bad advice!
So for the benefit of allowing you all to make a judgement on my revenge here's the actual chain if events...
I have known this "friend",who we will now name X, for about 5 years. She is in her mid-thirties. In that time we have partied together, cried together, laughed together, gossiped together, got drunk together, even been on holiday together. Her kids are ages with mine and we live 100 yards from each other.
Each year around Christmas we have a night out...there are 8 of us that go, all couples. Last year X got hideously drunk...which she blamed on having her drink spiked! So nothing to do with the fact that she mixed her drinks all night and regularly gets into that sort of state. X became abusive and eventually was dragged away and after falling down drunk...in a 4 star hotel I might add, very classy behaviour...she was taken home.
None of us spoke to each other for the next 6 months...I hadn't fallen out with her and had said nothing wrong on the night. She had fallen out with better half. Eventually the move was made to patch things up. I called her and tried to sort out what had happened all those months ago. It seemed to work and we agreed to put it all behind us. A week or so later at another mutual friends house I met her for the first time in ages and as per the script she was slightly pissed when I arrived. She basically spent the next hour and a half taking the piss when ever she could and doing her utmost to get me to rise to it...which I didn't. She spouted out all sorts of lies about the infamous xmas night out and blamed everyone but herself for what happened. I left, having bit my tongue, but was absolutely raging. I told the other people who had been out that night what she had said and they too were less than happy at her.
Amazingly she denied all knowledge when confronted by another friend despite that fact that she had accused this friends husband of spiking her drink and said she'd reported him to the police. Again I made the move to sort out the shit she had caused. Again everything was to be forgotten and we all agreed that we could never go back to being as close as we all were but we could still get togther now and then and at least be civilised adults.
So I invite them all up to mine for a take away and a drink...I figured the sooner we all got back to normal and got together to put everything behind us the better...everyone agreed to come and the date was set for 6 weeks away.
The gathering never took place.
The reason for this I can't say without letting them know what I do...and I don't want them to know yet. When I found out...and I always find out...I cancelled the whole night without a word to anyone why. I have since got a few more nuggets of wisdom which have prompted the already festering anger I had to start bubbling away nicely.
In all honesty I have made every effort with this piece of trash and I am now at the end of my rope. I have held my fucking tongue even when she tried her best to get me to react. She even informed me I had called her 9 year old a "fanny"...wrong I called him "rude"which he was... but I let it ride.
I have not spoken her name to anyone in weeks and I said and did nothing to her at the Xmas night out...in fact I was the one who tried to help her out of the mud when she fell on her arse.
Yet somehow I have come out as the baddie here...could it be that she has been helped to this conclusion by others? Most possibly. Forgive me for being cynical but one other "friend" who has stated time and time again that she's not getting invloved has been distant in the least for a good few months now. There was a time when she would be on the phone asking if I fancied a glass of wine but it seems X now gets the call. Mmmm. All the while X smiles and waves as if nothing has happened and as if she still likes me...even though she's made it damn clear she doesn't.
What pisses me off is knowing that she'd have sat in my house, playing nice, acting as though all was forgotten yet just days earlier she was slating me to others.
So that's basically it. So what's a girl to do? I'm still for slow-burning revenge myself but if you know better let me know.
Jenny xx
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold...
There are some things that just piss me off.
For example I can't stand people with no manners. I also have a general dislike for people who are nice to your face but slate you behind your back, especially when they haven't got the balls to say it to your face. I also can't be arsed with people who are involved in conflicts but pretend they're not while all the time getting more and more invloved. I also have no respect for people who would rather not talk to you but pretend that they really like you.
Sadly I know one such person who has all these traits and bizarrely enough she is a so called friend.
There have been a fair few up's and down's with her over the last year and despite the fact that everything is supposed to be sorted out now I have been unable to shake the feeling from my gut that something has been going on behind my back.
Luckily I am a clever girl and smarter than the average dumb fuck. I now have the information I have been looking for to confirm my gut feeling and now know without a shadow of a doubt that this "friend" is in fact a two faced cow.
It's a pity really because we've had some good times over the years and she has a damn fine sense of humour. I wouldn't say we were ever really close, unless you count the times I've held her up to stop her falling over drunk or tried to lift her out of bushes when she's fallen down drunk, but we were once quite good friends. However, I have suspected for a few years now that she had a devious streak to her.
Gut feeling is always a good thing to have and I tend to go with it in most cases because it's nearly always right. Of course it helps when what you suspect about someone is backed up by "mutual friends"...seems some who have known her a hell of a lot longer than I have already have her marked as a prize cow.
Still like I said we have had some laughs in the past and it's a shame things couldn't be different. I've tried to sort it out with her this year...I've made the phone calls, I've invited her to my house, I've shrugged off her comments and her lies for the sake of the fact that she does have the ability to be a nice person.
Now I should, for the sake of fairness, admit here and now that I am no angel myself. I bitch and gossip as much as the next woman but the thing is I whatever I say behind your back, if you ask me, I'll say it to your face. Pity she's never asked...
So now I know what I do, what on earth shall I do with the knowledge I have? I could go to her home and tell her what I know...but that would give me source away. I could just cut ties with her totally...but that would be too easy. I could lose my temper and slap her clean across the face...but the buzz of doing so would wear off too soon. I could keep what I know to myself...but that would just be silly.
So instead I'll bide my time a bit and have a bit of fun with what I know. Normally I'm all for jumping in with both feet and causing fireworks but this time I'm going to play clever because I can. It'll be more effective that way because while she is a prize cow I am a prize bitch and I have one thing she doesn't and that's a fucking brain.
Like the saying goes revenge is a dish best served cold.
I feel this little post makes it one-nil already.
Jenny xx
For example I can't stand people with no manners. I also have a general dislike for people who are nice to your face but slate you behind your back, especially when they haven't got the balls to say it to your face. I also can't be arsed with people who are involved in conflicts but pretend they're not while all the time getting more and more invloved. I also have no respect for people who would rather not talk to you but pretend that they really like you.
Sadly I know one such person who has all these traits and bizarrely enough she is a so called friend.
There have been a fair few up's and down's with her over the last year and despite the fact that everything is supposed to be sorted out now I have been unable to shake the feeling from my gut that something has been going on behind my back.
Luckily I am a clever girl and smarter than the average dumb fuck. I now have the information I have been looking for to confirm my gut feeling and now know without a shadow of a doubt that this "friend" is in fact a two faced cow.
It's a pity really because we've had some good times over the years and she has a damn fine sense of humour. I wouldn't say we were ever really close, unless you count the times I've held her up to stop her falling over drunk or tried to lift her out of bushes when she's fallen down drunk, but we were once quite good friends. However, I have suspected for a few years now that she had a devious streak to her.
Gut feeling is always a good thing to have and I tend to go with it in most cases because it's nearly always right. Of course it helps when what you suspect about someone is backed up by "mutual friends"...seems some who have known her a hell of a lot longer than I have already have her marked as a prize cow.
Still like I said we have had some laughs in the past and it's a shame things couldn't be different. I've tried to sort it out with her this year...I've made the phone calls, I've invited her to my house, I've shrugged off her comments and her lies for the sake of the fact that she does have the ability to be a nice person.
Now I should, for the sake of fairness, admit here and now that I am no angel myself. I bitch and gossip as much as the next woman but the thing is I whatever I say behind your back, if you ask me, I'll say it to your face. Pity she's never asked...
So now I know what I do, what on earth shall I do with the knowledge I have? I could go to her home and tell her what I know...but that would give me source away. I could just cut ties with her totally...but that would be too easy. I could lose my temper and slap her clean across the face...but the buzz of doing so would wear off too soon. I could keep what I know to myself...but that would just be silly.
So instead I'll bide my time a bit and have a bit of fun with what I know. Normally I'm all for jumping in with both feet and causing fireworks but this time I'm going to play clever because I can. It'll be more effective that way because while she is a prize cow I am a prize bitch and I have one thing she doesn't and that's a fucking brain.
Like the saying goes revenge is a dish best served cold.
I feel this little post makes it one-nil already.
Jenny xx
Monday, November 14, 2005
Hello To Ross' Mammy...
Had a comment on here from Ross' Mum.
She's a really nice lady and it's both nice and scary to see she's been on here.
Nice because Phylis was always really good to me whenever I visted her home in my younger days and she was a great role model mum!
Scary because some of the stuff written on here and commented by me on Ross' blog is not the sort of stuff I'd like her to be reading!! I've been swearing and all sorts!!
Still she reads a damn site worse on Ross' blog I suppose!
Anyway nice to hear from you Ross' Mum and I hope you're well!
Jenny xx
She's a really nice lady and it's both nice and scary to see she's been on here.
Nice because Phylis was always really good to me whenever I visted her home in my younger days and she was a great role model mum!
Scary because some of the stuff written on here and commented by me on Ross' blog is not the sort of stuff I'd like her to be reading!! I've been swearing and all sorts!!
Still she reads a damn site worse on Ross' blog I suppose!
Anyway nice to hear from you Ross' Mum and I hope you're well!
Jenny xx
Friday, November 11, 2005
She's How Old???
8 year old is becoming 9 year old in about 3 hours time. I am not a happy woman.
It was bad enough when 4 year old became 5 year old but this is just nonsense. How the hell can she be 9? What happened to the other 8 years?
It is scary how quick the kids grow up. I still look at her and see the cute little toddler that used to run around the place singing and looking in the mirror at every chance. Actually she still does the singing thing...and the mirror thing come to think about it.
I suppose I'm lucky. I have a 9 year old who still wants to climb on my knee for a cuddle and still wants a kiss as she goes into school despite that fact she thinks she's one of Girls Aloud and would happily dress like one of them given the chance.
She has asked fro a mobile phone and a Barbie Pegasus Styling Head for her birthday which I think sums her up totally...allRizzo from Grease one minute and Sandra Dee the next.
Anyway she's got the phone and the Barbie thing so she should be happy!
It was bad enough when 4 year old became 5 year old but this is just nonsense. How the hell can she be 9? What happened to the other 8 years?
It is scary how quick the kids grow up. I still look at her and see the cute little toddler that used to run around the place singing and looking in the mirror at every chance. Actually she still does the singing thing...and the mirror thing come to think about it.
I suppose I'm lucky. I have a 9 year old who still wants to climb on my knee for a cuddle and still wants a kiss as she goes into school despite that fact she thinks she's one of Girls Aloud and would happily dress like one of them given the chance.
She has asked fro a mobile phone and a Barbie Pegasus Styling Head for her birthday which I think sums her up totally...allRizzo from Grease one minute and Sandra Dee the next.
Anyway she's got the phone and the Barbie thing so she should be happy!
That's her above with 5 year old. This year's party is more traditional...we've booked a table at a restaurant of her choice so she can have dinner with her friends. Last year it wasa pink Limo which I really enjoyed and it was nothing to do with the free booze!
Happy Birthday BeccaBelle (not her real name but her nickname!)
Jenny xxx (or Mum!)
Doing Well...
My friend May has had her Triple Bypass Surgery and I'm pleased to say that everything went well. She is off the ventilator and awake and seems to be doing as well as they would have hoped for.
I am relieved and pleased and have lost the butterflies I have had in my stomach for the last few weeks.
Get Well Soon May.
Jenny xx
I am relieved and pleased and have lost the butterflies I have had in my stomach for the last few weeks.
Get Well Soon May.
Jenny xx
Nearly There...
You may recall I was going for the guided tour of the premises I'm looking at taking on. Well I've been and I've seen the accounts and I'm still intrested.
I need to finalise my business plan...a little scary...and I have another meeting next week to discuss finance and proposals for investment.
The timescale is a bit up in the air...if everything goes alright I could be in within the next few weeks but it seems more likely and more sensible to wait until the new year now.
So for the next few days my head will be full of profit margins, stock levels and staffing issues while I fill this plan in.
This is where it starts to get serious I think...I only hope I can keep my sensible head on long enough to get it done!
Jenny xx
I need to finalise my business plan...a little scary...and I have another meeting next week to discuss finance and proposals for investment.
The timescale is a bit up in the air...if everything goes alright I could be in within the next few weeks but it seems more likely and more sensible to wait until the new year now.
So for the next few days my head will be full of profit margins, stock levels and staffing issues while I fill this plan in.
This is where it starts to get serious I think...I only hope I can keep my sensible head on long enough to get it done!
Jenny xx
Back And Bankrupt...
Well not quite bankrupt but let's just say my purse is empty and my next credit card bill will probably dent the floor as it drops through the letter box.
Minneapolis was, as usual, fantastic. I had a great 5 days with Mum and Sis doing the shops. I spent a hideous amount of money at the BeneFit make-up counter in Macy's and more money than I should have in Old Navy but c'est la vie.
I also helped Santa out a bit by getting in a few things to save him the bother!
I have discovered that neither my Mum nor my Sis should ever get an automatic car...in fact Mum just shouldn't be allowed to drive at all never mind in a foreign country and Sis thinks that automatic means there is no hand brake!
I managed to boost my shoe collection by another 3 pairs which is always good and the only issue I have now is that I have no space for the clothes I bought for myself which are all still lying in my bedroom.
We took a bit of time out this year to do a few girly bits and pieces...manicure, pedicure and massage which was nice although I'm typing like a novice now that I have nails!
So I leave Scotland with one suitcase holding only a pair of jeans and 2 tops in it and return to Scotland with 2 large suitcases and a large hold all all full to bursting...sounds like a sucessful mission to me.
Oh one more word while I'm here...I flew Icelandair again this year and I need to say that the flights were fantastic, bang on time, large seats, loads of legroom and decent food. I've flown with a fair few airlines and they are definitely among the best.
Roll on next year...
Jenny xx
Minneapolis was, as usual, fantastic. I had a great 5 days with Mum and Sis doing the shops. I spent a hideous amount of money at the BeneFit make-up counter in Macy's and more money than I should have in Old Navy but c'est la vie.
I also helped Santa out a bit by getting in a few things to save him the bother!
I have discovered that neither my Mum nor my Sis should ever get an automatic car...in fact Mum just shouldn't be allowed to drive at all never mind in a foreign country and Sis thinks that automatic means there is no hand brake!
I managed to boost my shoe collection by another 3 pairs which is always good and the only issue I have now is that I have no space for the clothes I bought for myself which are all still lying in my bedroom.
We took a bit of time out this year to do a few girly bits and pieces...manicure, pedicure and massage which was nice although I'm typing like a novice now that I have nails!
So I leave Scotland with one suitcase holding only a pair of jeans and 2 tops in it and return to Scotland with 2 large suitcases and a large hold all all full to bursting...sounds like a sucessful mission to me.
Oh one more word while I'm here...I flew Icelandair again this year and I need to say that the flights were fantastic, bang on time, large seats, loads of legroom and decent food. I've flown with a fair few airlines and they are definitely among the best.
Roll on next year...
Jenny xx
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
One Step Closer...
to my little business venture. Next week I'm going for the guided tour of the premises and finally getting my hands on the accounts!
It's not the place I'd want to have in normal circumstances but I'm being led by the potential more than what already exsists. The place has the potential to be better than it is and needs a bit tlc. I like a challenge so I guess that's why I'm intrested when my initial reaction would have been to say no outright.
Anyway if it all works out Better Half will be right beside me running the show and I couldn't ask for a better partner.
I've told a few people about it and alredy have people asking for work and I haven't even decided I'm going for it yet! That said I'll confess I've already given staff issues a thought and I reckon I'll need someone else who I can trust in their with me. I know who I'd like it to be but I'm not sure if it will happen although I'd be a better boss than they have now without question!!
We'll see what happens...I'll update you all next week once I've seen things for myself.
Jenny xx
It's not the place I'd want to have in normal circumstances but I'm being led by the potential more than what already exsists. The place has the potential to be better than it is and needs a bit tlc. I like a challenge so I guess that's why I'm intrested when my initial reaction would have been to say no outright.
Anyway if it all works out Better Half will be right beside me running the show and I couldn't ask for a better partner.
I've told a few people about it and alredy have people asking for work and I haven't even decided I'm going for it yet! That said I'll confess I've already given staff issues a thought and I reckon I'll need someone else who I can trust in their with me. I know who I'd like it to be but I'm not sure if it will happen although I'd be a better boss than they have now without question!!
We'll see what happens...I'll update you all next week once I've seen things for myself.
Jenny xx
Heading Of Again...
No sooner have I unpacked one bag than I'm packing another.
I'm off on my travels agian tomorrow and at around about this time I will be boarding my plane. First stop is Reykjavik in Iceland. Iceland is a strange place. I can remember last year, my first visit, thinking it was insane that at 2pm it was already getting dark. The landscape is desolate, very volcanic looking and if I'm being honest it looks pretty much like Sweden does in all those Ikea pictures. When you land you are whisked off in a coach for a swim in the Blue Lagoon which is just fantastic. Everyone should try it. The Blue Lagoon is a "geothermal spa" which basically means it's a naturally occuring pool of hot water with a very high mineral content! The name is very apt as the water is the most beautiful shade of topaz blue and the pool is surrounded by brilliant white rock all of which is natural. It's a bit chilly in Iceland at this time of year (-5 today) but luckily you can enter the water from an indoor area - soon as you get outside though everyone drops instantly to their knees to get covered by the water which is a warm as a bath. Last year is seemed very surreal to be in this lovely hot water in a swimsuit while the snow was falling on my head. You also get to try the natural clay face masks which is nice!
Following our wee stop off it's back to the airport to board the flight to Minneapolis. Bizarrely enough we get on the flight at 5pm and land in Minne at 5.20pm yet it will take a good 7 hours to get there! Ain't time changes a wonderful thing!
It's not far to the hotel from the airport once we land so all going well I should be in the hotel bar - vodka and cranberry in hand- by about 7pm.
For the next 4 days it's all shops, shop's, shop's! Minne is home to the largest shopping mall in the world and also a fantastic outlet centre and like last year I fully intend to make the most of them! My credit card is quivering already! Last year I sensibly thought that if I limited myself to about $300 a day I'd have more than enough money with me! Yeah right! I spent $700 in about 4 hours and that was on day one! This year I've taken a wee bit more cash with me...it'll avoid the need for me to find a cash point and rob my bank account like I did last year!
I'm not a mad designer bitch (luckily) and to be honest I love wandering round Wal-Mart for hours buying cheap clothes and accessories. Better Half thinks it's hysterical that I go across the Atlantic to shop in what is essentially Asda's! However my view is I'd rather spend $10 on a gameboy game for the kids there and buy shit loads of them than pay £30 here and buy them one! Anyway they have a massive Apple shop and last year I got an Ipod for less than half what I'd have paid here. The flight justifies the ending!
We're a little more prepared this year as we know what we're heading to. I've got empty suitcases and am taking nothing more than a few pairs of knickers, one pair of jeans and 2 tops. I'll buy anything else I need when I get there! Hopefully Mum and Sis will be doing the same so we won't need to sit for an hour on our cases to get them shut when we're heading home!
Have a great weekend y'all and I'll see you soon!
Jenny xx
I'm off on my travels agian tomorrow and at around about this time I will be boarding my plane. First stop is Reykjavik in Iceland. Iceland is a strange place. I can remember last year, my first visit, thinking it was insane that at 2pm it was already getting dark. The landscape is desolate, very volcanic looking and if I'm being honest it looks pretty much like Sweden does in all those Ikea pictures. When you land you are whisked off in a coach for a swim in the Blue Lagoon which is just fantastic. Everyone should try it. The Blue Lagoon is a "geothermal spa" which basically means it's a naturally occuring pool of hot water with a very high mineral content! The name is very apt as the water is the most beautiful shade of topaz blue and the pool is surrounded by brilliant white rock all of which is natural. It's a bit chilly in Iceland at this time of year (-5 today) but luckily you can enter the water from an indoor area - soon as you get outside though everyone drops instantly to their knees to get covered by the water which is a warm as a bath. Last year is seemed very surreal to be in this lovely hot water in a swimsuit while the snow was falling on my head. You also get to try the natural clay face masks which is nice!
Following our wee stop off it's back to the airport to board the flight to Minneapolis. Bizarrely enough we get on the flight at 5pm and land in Minne at 5.20pm yet it will take a good 7 hours to get there! Ain't time changes a wonderful thing!
It's not far to the hotel from the airport once we land so all going well I should be in the hotel bar - vodka and cranberry in hand- by about 7pm.
For the next 4 days it's all shops, shop's, shop's! Minne is home to the largest shopping mall in the world and also a fantastic outlet centre and like last year I fully intend to make the most of them! My credit card is quivering already! Last year I sensibly thought that if I limited myself to about $300 a day I'd have more than enough money with me! Yeah right! I spent $700 in about 4 hours and that was on day one! This year I've taken a wee bit more cash with me...it'll avoid the need for me to find a cash point and rob my bank account like I did last year!
I'm not a mad designer bitch (luckily) and to be honest I love wandering round Wal-Mart for hours buying cheap clothes and accessories. Better Half thinks it's hysterical that I go across the Atlantic to shop in what is essentially Asda's! However my view is I'd rather spend $10 on a gameboy game for the kids there and buy shit loads of them than pay £30 here and buy them one! Anyway they have a massive Apple shop and last year I got an Ipod for less than half what I'd have paid here. The flight justifies the ending!
We're a little more prepared this year as we know what we're heading to. I've got empty suitcases and am taking nothing more than a few pairs of knickers, one pair of jeans and 2 tops. I'll buy anything else I need when I get there! Hopefully Mum and Sis will be doing the same so we won't need to sit for an hour on our cases to get them shut when we're heading home!
Have a great weekend y'all and I'll see you soon!
Jenny xx
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Saying A Little Prayer...
A family friend, May, has been awaiting a date to go into hospital for triple bypass surgery. She is 67 years old and for years has suffered from angina. Last week she was told she would get the operation done some time in the next 6 weeks, probably early December. Turns out it'll be a bit sooner than everyone thought. She goes into hospital this Sunday and the op will take place on Monday morning.
May lived next door to us for over 20 years and has known my Mum since she was just a baby when she would take my Mum out in for walks in her pram. She has been there with my family through the good times and the bad times along with her Husband Bill and a testament to how close she is is that her number was the first I rung when Dad died as she and Bill can always be relied upon in any crisis.
Now normally we are there for May and Bill as much as they are there for us but fate has dictated that we won't be around this weekend or indeed on Monday when she has her Op. We don't get back from the States until Tuesday. I'm a bit pissed of about this.
Yesterday we met up with them and Mum for lunch and it was a strange occasion. May looked tearful although she was her usual chatty self but when I gave her a hug in the car park she looked so sad and I couldn't help but think that she was saying goodbye to me in her own way...She is terrified, it's written all over her face.
It made me uneasy and a little sad to think that she feels she might not pull through this op. I don't know if she will either but I do know they wouldn't being doing it if they didn't think she had good odds. There is a high chance she'll suffer a stroke while she's under but it's a risk you've got to take when the alternative is that you could drop down dead from a heart attack at any moment. May's Dad did just that at a bus stop.It's a big operation but god willing if it goes to plan she'll have a much better quality of life and can get back to her dancing!
We'll just have to wait and see...fingers crossed.
Jenny xx
May lived next door to us for over 20 years and has known my Mum since she was just a baby when she would take my Mum out in for walks in her pram. She has been there with my family through the good times and the bad times along with her Husband Bill and a testament to how close she is is that her number was the first I rung when Dad died as she and Bill can always be relied upon in any crisis.
Now normally we are there for May and Bill as much as they are there for us but fate has dictated that we won't be around this weekend or indeed on Monday when she has her Op. We don't get back from the States until Tuesday. I'm a bit pissed of about this.
Yesterday we met up with them and Mum for lunch and it was a strange occasion. May looked tearful although she was her usual chatty self but when I gave her a hug in the car park she looked so sad and I couldn't help but think that she was saying goodbye to me in her own way...She is terrified, it's written all over her face.
It made me uneasy and a little sad to think that she feels she might not pull through this op. I don't know if she will either but I do know they wouldn't being doing it if they didn't think she had good odds. There is a high chance she'll suffer a stroke while she's under but it's a risk you've got to take when the alternative is that you could drop down dead from a heart attack at any moment. May's Dad did just that at a bus stop.It's a big operation but god willing if it goes to plan she'll have a much better quality of life and can get back to her dancing!
We'll just have to wait and see...fingers crossed.
Jenny xx
Hallowe'en Cometh Again...
And my little horrors joined the rest of the kids in the street for "trick or treating". In my day we went guiseing and hoped to make a few quid - my Mum always thought it was no more than begging for money...she has a point.
Now though we seem to have adopted the American form and the kids come to the door asking Trick or Treat...I'm not always a big fan of doing things the American way but they have always been big on Hallowe'en and I love it myself so I'm all for this new change of ways.
Our street is a big cul-de-sac of 102 houses and there are a fair number of kids in the street all of whom from the toddlers to the 10 year old's were out last night in their fancy dress costumes. The good thing about it is the Mum's and Dad's get into the spirit as well...houses have decorations outside and the Mum's head to Asda (Wal-Mart if we're being American!!) and buy in sweets to dish out to little witches and wizards who come knocking. Most of the Mum's and Dad's go out with the kids and we all have a chat and frequently a glass of wine or two as we go round! It's not unusual to see Mum's and Dad's wandering round with masks and hats on!
A quick glance out the window last night and I saw a handful of witches, a good few wizards, a few skeletons, some cats and a princess! I am always reminded of that scene in ET when they go out trick or treating and take ET as a ghost!
I'm not sure why I enjoy Hallowe'en so much. Better Half hates it. He can't be arsed with all the knocks at the door and constant ding dongs of the bell. So he says anyway. Secretly I think he does enjoy it...after all he's often heard telling people he lives with a witch!
I assume he means 8 year old!
Jenny xx
Now though we seem to have adopted the American form and the kids come to the door asking Trick or Treat...I'm not always a big fan of doing things the American way but they have always been big on Hallowe'en and I love it myself so I'm all for this new change of ways.
Our street is a big cul-de-sac of 102 houses and there are a fair number of kids in the street all of whom from the toddlers to the 10 year old's were out last night in their fancy dress costumes. The good thing about it is the Mum's and Dad's get into the spirit as well...houses have decorations outside and the Mum's head to Asda (Wal-Mart if we're being American!!) and buy in sweets to dish out to little witches and wizards who come knocking. Most of the Mum's and Dad's go out with the kids and we all have a chat and frequently a glass of wine or two as we go round! It's not unusual to see Mum's and Dad's wandering round with masks and hats on!
A quick glance out the window last night and I saw a handful of witches, a good few wizards, a few skeletons, some cats and a princess! I am always reminded of that scene in ET when they go out trick or treating and take ET as a ghost!
I'm not sure why I enjoy Hallowe'en so much. Better Half hates it. He can't be arsed with all the knocks at the door and constant ding dongs of the bell. So he says anyway. Secretly I think he does enjoy it...after all he's often heard telling people he lives with a witch!
I assume he means 8 year old!
Jenny xx
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Over The Hill...
Was out last night at a party to celebrate Better Half's Brother's 40th birthday. I could have made that last statement a damn sight easier by saying my Brother-in Law's 40th but technically he's not as I am technically not married to his Brother...how confusing do families need to be?
Anyway, it was a good night. Craig or Uncle Chicken as the kids call him...I don't know why...plays in a band and has done for a number of years. We have never seen him perform with the band but know he can sing so we were looking forward to finally hearing them especially as his Mum-in-Law (not technically as he's not yet married) had told us how good they were in the way only proud parents can!
I have to say though she was spot on. The band are called BlackStar and they play regularly in clubs and pubs around Midlothian and are from what I gathered last night very well known by the locals and have a fair wee following...they are also very good.
Craig and the guys played for nearly 2 hours and the set included covers of U2, Kaiser Chiefs, The Clash, Neil Diamond (no surprise there), REM and a few rocked up versions of old 60's classics to keep the old folks happy!
Craig is a real character, a one off and his lovely girlfriend Lee (my sister in law but not technically!) looked every inch the proud rock stars Mrs!
I had a laugh at the end of the night...Craig and Better Half are both follically challenged and both stand over 6ft 3 tall,Craig is very slim but Better Half is built like a brick shithouse (as we say in Scotland). The sight of a drunken Craig wrapping his arm around his Big Brother and saying to me with a very serious face "Look at us...this is the real Mitchell Brothers" cracked me up!
Carig and Lee are due to tie the knot next July...I'm looking forward to it. Maybe Better Half and I will do the same sometime then at least we can get rid of all the "technicalities" in the family and Lee and I can offically join the Mitchell clan!
Happy Birthday Craig!
Jenny xx
Anyway, it was a good night. Craig or Uncle Chicken as the kids call him...I don't know why...plays in a band and has done for a number of years. We have never seen him perform with the band but know he can sing so we were looking forward to finally hearing them especially as his Mum-in-Law (not technically as he's not yet married) had told us how good they were in the way only proud parents can!
I have to say though she was spot on. The band are called BlackStar and they play regularly in clubs and pubs around Midlothian and are from what I gathered last night very well known by the locals and have a fair wee following...they are also very good.
Craig and the guys played for nearly 2 hours and the set included covers of U2, Kaiser Chiefs, The Clash, Neil Diamond (no surprise there), REM and a few rocked up versions of old 60's classics to keep the old folks happy!
Craig is a real character, a one off and his lovely girlfriend Lee (my sister in law but not technically!) looked every inch the proud rock stars Mrs!
I had a laugh at the end of the night...Craig and Better Half are both follically challenged and both stand over 6ft 3 tall,Craig is very slim but Better Half is built like a brick shithouse (as we say in Scotland). The sight of a drunken Craig wrapping his arm around his Big Brother and saying to me with a very serious face "Look at us...this is the real Mitchell Brothers" cracked me up!
Carig and Lee are due to tie the knot next July...I'm looking forward to it. Maybe Better Half and I will do the same sometime then at least we can get rid of all the "technicalities" in the family and Lee and I can offically join the Mitchell clan!
Happy Birthday Craig!
Jenny xx
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Mosquito Mayhem...
While on holibobs I got bitten. I'm not happy.
It's been ages since I was bitten on holiday. Last time it was a tiny wee jumping spider thing in Florida about 4 years ago. This time it was a mosquito, which is great because I am allergic to their saliva.
I've got 5 bites on my lower leg and feet and the allergy has caused my feet and ankles to swell hideously. I am like the elephant woman I kid you not. The bites are now big blisters full of gunge which keeps running down my legs and feet...nice eh?
Apparently these little bubbles of goo are my bodies way of fighting the infection.
I love my flip flops (In fact I love all shoes - Jimmy Choo's, Manolo Blahniks, Nikes...) but even I know that I looked a complete ass wandering around Newcastle at 2 am in the pissing rain in flip flops but it was all I could fit on my bloody feet!
I've now got a course of antibiotics, a cream and a course of antihistamines to take. I am starting to rattle when I walk!
One good thing is that the mossie bit while I was asleep on the night I had gotten very drunk so I'm kind of hoping the alcohol in my bloodstream would have gotten it pissed as well enough so it flew straight into a wall and died!
Jenny xx
It's been ages since I was bitten on holiday. Last time it was a tiny wee jumping spider thing in Florida about 4 years ago. This time it was a mosquito, which is great because I am allergic to their saliva.
I've got 5 bites on my lower leg and feet and the allergy has caused my feet and ankles to swell hideously. I am like the elephant woman I kid you not. The bites are now big blisters full of gunge which keeps running down my legs and feet...nice eh?
Apparently these little bubbles of goo are my bodies way of fighting the infection.
I love my flip flops (In fact I love all shoes - Jimmy Choo's, Manolo Blahniks, Nikes...) but even I know that I looked a complete ass wandering around Newcastle at 2 am in the pissing rain in flip flops but it was all I could fit on my bloody feet!
I've now got a course of antibiotics, a cream and a course of antihistamines to take. I am starting to rattle when I walk!
One good thing is that the mossie bit while I was asleep on the night I had gotten very drunk so I'm kind of hoping the alcohol in my bloodstream would have gotten it pissed as well enough so it flew straight into a wall and died!
Jenny xx
Home Again...
Well that'll be that then. My week in the sun is over and it's back to the wind and rain of Bonnie Scotland.
It was a good week. Got completely plastered the first night. Stopped in a few bars mid afternoon for a few beers followed up by a jug of sangria which Sis and I polished off between us. Headed back to the apartment to get changed to go out for something to eat...at least that was the plan but it got fucked up when Mum shouted to our balcony "Why don't you come through and have a wee vodka before we get changed?"
Needless to say we didn't make it out for dinner...instead we drunk a litre of vodka and a few large bottles of beer and dined on cheese and tomato sandwiches...went to bed very drunk but able to stand unlike wee Sis who was on her arse more than her feet and promptly went to bed and banged her head almost knocking herself out in the process!
We managed to behave for the rest of the time...the kids did get dinner every night after that!
Mum babysat one night so Sis, Better Half and I escaped to the town for a night. We headed off at 10pm and went to see Sticky Vicky who is a bit of a Benidorm Legend. Her trick being that she removes objects from her "Magical Vagina", razor blades, candles, pieces of ribbon...closely followed by lighting bulbs with her "bits" and for her best trick opening a bottle of coke with her aforementioned magical vagina. Good luck to any woman who at 60 odd is happy to prance around stark naked and gladly show you her beaver - and I must say she didn't look too bad for a woman of her age!
Next up was a comedian who had the audience eating out of his palm and in fits of laughter. He was followed by a hypnotist who did the usual caberet stuff. It was all good.
We finally staggered back home at 5.30am with sore sides from laughing.
My highlight of the week though was discovering that my Nephew can do the best impression of Peter Kay's character Max. Dean's "How dare you" is the funniest thing I've heard in ages.
Of course coming home is always a downer - especially as we got out of Newcastle Airport at 2.30am and then had to drive over 2 hours up the road. To top it off 5 year old decided he felt the need to wake from his sleep about halfway up the road in the middle of nowhere and puke all over my car seats which was nice. Thank the lord I went for leather seats is all I'm saying.
Still it was a good week. Really nice for us all to go together and spend some time with each other away from the hustle of our everyday lives.
Course Mum, Sis and I have a plane to catch in 8 days again so I'll look forward to that now!
Jenny xx
It was a good week. Got completely plastered the first night. Stopped in a few bars mid afternoon for a few beers followed up by a jug of sangria which Sis and I polished off between us. Headed back to the apartment to get changed to go out for something to eat...at least that was the plan but it got fucked up when Mum shouted to our balcony "Why don't you come through and have a wee vodka before we get changed?"
Needless to say we didn't make it out for dinner...instead we drunk a litre of vodka and a few large bottles of beer and dined on cheese and tomato sandwiches...went to bed very drunk but able to stand unlike wee Sis who was on her arse more than her feet and promptly went to bed and banged her head almost knocking herself out in the process!
We managed to behave for the rest of the time...the kids did get dinner every night after that!
Mum babysat one night so Sis, Better Half and I escaped to the town for a night. We headed off at 10pm and went to see Sticky Vicky who is a bit of a Benidorm Legend. Her trick being that she removes objects from her "Magical Vagina", razor blades, candles, pieces of ribbon...closely followed by lighting bulbs with her "bits" and for her best trick opening a bottle of coke with her aforementioned magical vagina. Good luck to any woman who at 60 odd is happy to prance around stark naked and gladly show you her beaver - and I must say she didn't look too bad for a woman of her age!
Next up was a comedian who had the audience eating out of his palm and in fits of laughter. He was followed by a hypnotist who did the usual caberet stuff. It was all good.
We finally staggered back home at 5.30am with sore sides from laughing.
My highlight of the week though was discovering that my Nephew can do the best impression of Peter Kay's character Max. Dean's "How dare you" is the funniest thing I've heard in ages.
Of course coming home is always a downer - especially as we got out of Newcastle Airport at 2.30am and then had to drive over 2 hours up the road. To top it off 5 year old decided he felt the need to wake from his sleep about halfway up the road in the middle of nowhere and puke all over my car seats which was nice. Thank the lord I went for leather seats is all I'm saying.
Still it was a good week. Really nice for us all to go together and spend some time with each other away from the hustle of our everyday lives.
Course Mum, Sis and I have a plane to catch in 8 days again so I'll look forward to that now!
Jenny xx
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Gotta Go...
I've a plane to catch.
I'm going to be absent for the next 7 days as I'll be busy lounging around the pool, sipping sangria and eating Paella in Benidorm, Spain with all the troops.
We head off to the airport in about 2 hours. That's my one gripe about the whole thing, we're having to fly from Newcastle instead of a Scottish airport as they want to charge an extra £400 for the pleasure of going from a local airport. Daylight robbery!!
So it's a nice 2 hour drive to England on what is the shittiest road in the world..the A1.
Everything is ready to go...except the things I've forgotten and won't remember about till I'm on the plane..why is that always the case?
Anyway tickets, money, passports are all accounted for so that'll do for me!
"We're all off to sunny Spain y viva Espania"
Have a great week everyone.
Jenny xx
I'm going to be absent for the next 7 days as I'll be busy lounging around the pool, sipping sangria and eating Paella in Benidorm, Spain with all the troops.
We head off to the airport in about 2 hours. That's my one gripe about the whole thing, we're having to fly from Newcastle instead of a Scottish airport as they want to charge an extra £400 for the pleasure of going from a local airport. Daylight robbery!!
So it's a nice 2 hour drive to England on what is the shittiest road in the world..the A1.
Everything is ready to go...except the things I've forgotten and won't remember about till I'm on the plane..why is that always the case?
Anyway tickets, money, passports are all accounted for so that'll do for me!
"We're all off to sunny Spain y viva Espania"
Have a great week everyone.
Jenny xx
Happy Birthday...
To my gorgeous niece Kennedy.
She was 10 yesterday which quite frankly is bloody scary cause that's a decade and it means I'm getting old.
She was a lovely baby and has grown into a beautiful (not so little) girl. I think she gets her good looks from her Godmother which of course would be me! Yeah right.
She was 10 yesterday which quite frankly is bloody scary cause that's a decade and it means I'm getting old.
She was a lovely baby and has grown into a beautiful (not so little) girl. I think she gets her good looks from her Godmother which of course would be me! Yeah right.
Here she is with her little brother Dean at a recent wedding.
She was due to have a big disco for all her friends to celebrate reaching 10 but instead gave it up to head to Spain for a weeks holiday with all the family. Good choice Kennedy!
Anyway Happy Birthday Toots.
(ps - I promise not to mention snogging Jamie Tubby....oops)
(Auntie) Jenny xx
Plans Afoot...
I'm currently looking into a wee business thingy at the moment. It is all going well so far. Fingers crossed that the accounts for the place I'm intrested in are looking good. If everything goes to plan I could be my own boss within a few months.
I'll keep you posted!
Jenny xx
I'll keep you posted!
Jenny xx
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Monday, October 10, 2005
Make Mine A Guinness...
Speaking of The Match...
I know I'm over 21.
I know I'm a Mum.
I know I should be past this sort of thing but one of the celebs taking part was Patrick McGuiness (comedian, writer and Peter Kay sidekick) and I am now besotted!
Yes I know it's utterly childish to still have celebrity crushes but
who cares????Tall, dark, handsome and funny...I can't resist!!
*Please note these pictures are purely for my own satisfaction!
Jenny xx
Sky One Is To Blame....
Part of the reason for my slacking on this blog has been Sky One's fault. They have been showing a programme called The Match all week which is basically about a bunch of celebrities being trained in Footie to take on a bunch of ex-pro's.
I was totally addicted for a number of reasons. Firstly I like my Footie anyway but mainly because it was full of lots of young men in shorts and no shirts with odd bits of ass flashing for good measure!
Alas it's now all over - the celebs were beaten 2-0 in the live match last night, I arsed a bottle of wine and watched engrossed...not the ball so much but the thighs!
Jenny xx
I was totally addicted for a number of reasons. Firstly I like my Footie anyway but mainly because it was full of lots of young men in shorts and no shirts with odd bits of ass flashing for good measure!
Alas it's now all over - the celebs were beaten 2-0 in the live match last night, I arsed a bottle of wine and watched engrossed...not the ball so much but the thighs!
Jenny xx
The Google Game...
Tried the google game ross was talking about last night and found it to be a bit too scary for my liking!
I stuck in a few names from my family to see what happened starting with me...
Jenny Shaw is a character. - Yep that's gotta be true!
Jenny Shaw is a virgin. - That's true as well (cough cough)
Jennifer Shaw is a single Mum. - Omen for the future?
My Sis...
Gillian Shaw is a fully trained mediator. - My Sis could start a fight with herself!
My Better Half...
Geoff Mitchell is a reciprocal spaceman. - Bloody space cadet anyway!
My Dad...
Samuel Shaw is lecturer. - Indeed I heard many during his lifetime!
"Choose something to add to the grave of Sam Shaw" also popped up which is a bit wierd!
My Mum....
Heather Shaw is a bizarre piece of surrealism with erotic elements. - What???????
Heather Shaw is just a nice girl. - Yeah I'll give her that one!
I did my son and daughter as well but as my Daughter has a really unusual surname nothing was found for her, my son though had the following result...
Jake Mitchell is a dangerous vision of manhood. - What can I say to that?? He gets it from his Father!
Jenny xx
I stuck in a few names from my family to see what happened starting with me...
Jenny Shaw is a character. - Yep that's gotta be true!
Jenny Shaw is a virgin. - That's true as well (cough cough)
Jennifer Shaw is a single Mum. - Omen for the future?
My Sis...
Gillian Shaw is a fully trained mediator. - My Sis could start a fight with herself!
My Better Half...
Geoff Mitchell is a reciprocal spaceman. - Bloody space cadet anyway!
My Dad...
Samuel Shaw is lecturer. - Indeed I heard many during his lifetime!
"Choose something to add to the grave of Sam Shaw" also popped up which is a bit wierd!
My Mum....
Heather Shaw is a bizarre piece of surrealism with erotic elements. - What???????
Heather Shaw is just a nice girl. - Yeah I'll give her that one!
I did my son and daughter as well but as my Daughter has a really unusual surname nothing was found for her, my son though had the following result...
Jake Mitchell is a dangerous vision of manhood. - What can I say to that?? He gets it from his Father!
Jenny xx
Lazy...
Is what I have been regarding the blog this last week. Too busy reading other peoples to write on my own. Well no more. 'm back and I'll be (hopefully) blogging for the next few days on and off...assuming of course I can be bothered.
Jenny xx
Jenny xx
Monday, October 03, 2005
Competition Chaos...
Ross decided to give a prize to the person who became his 10,000th hit on the cnut blog. The lucky winner was to receive a t-shirt specially designed by him.
Well I already have more than enough t-shirts to be going on with so I'm not to gutted to have missed out on the big prize - Congrats to Karen who was the lucky winner by the way - I've decided I may just do something similar.
I know exactly what the winner's prize would be. It would need to be someone close to Edinburgh that wins though so I could deliver the prize cause the postage costs to send a 5 year old and an 8 year old through the post would be expensive!!
Jenny xx
Well I already have more than enough t-shirts to be going on with so I'm not to gutted to have missed out on the big prize - Congrats to Karen who was the lucky winner by the way - I've decided I may just do something similar.
I know exactly what the winner's prize would be. It would need to be someone close to Edinburgh that wins though so I could deliver the prize cause the postage costs to send a 5 year old and an 8 year old through the post would be expensive!!
Jenny xx
Thursday, September 29, 2005
While I'm On The God Thing..
Luckily for mankind we have been provided with a list of sins which we should avoid, commonly known as the Seven Deadly Sins. Obviously it’s got to be taken as read that bad stuff will happen if we let ourselves commit these sins because of the fact they felt the need for them to be deadly. If we are expected to live by them it seems only right that our Creator and Supreme Being (allegedly) set a good example by doing the same. So did He manage to avoid the pitfalls. It seems not…
PRIDE -
In the bible we are told that He surveyed his work and He saw it was good. A man who took pride in his work then?
WRATH -
Let’s face it the Old Testament is full of instances of Him letting someone feel his wrath. I quote “The anger of the Lord burned against Israel” Samuel (24.1) Burning anger/Wrath - six and two threes if you ask me. There are many examples of the same. Seems He had an anger of biblical proportions which is highly appropriate!
ENVY -
Wording from the Ten Commandments - "You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord, your God, am a jealous God..." Says it all really.
LUST -
A liking for young virgins, holy spirits impregnating them, Jesus hanging around with prostitutes…
GLUTTONY -
Mmmm let me think. He wants to be the only Big Cheese in town and He would like us all to worship him. Seems He is not content unless he has Billions of us falling on our knees to Him and created us for that purpose. Now that’s just greedy.
AVARICE -
Now here’s where He might redeem himself. He had no need for money after all. However His representatives here on Earth certainly do. All those American Evangelists on Tv “$100 to get you straight to heaven” and all that.
SLOTH -
The Bible tells us "By the seventh day God finished the work He had been doing; so on the seventh day He rested from all His work.". Fair enough but as none of the work he did was physical why did he need a rest? Anyway if He is all seeing how comes He does nothing when His people are facing crisis? He may have created the Universe but Man has created all the really useful things we have today. What the hell has He been doing for all these years since His last project? Guess He’s been chilling out.
It's not looking good as far as setting an example goes is it now?
Jenny xx
PRIDE -
In the bible we are told that He surveyed his work and He saw it was good. A man who took pride in his work then?
WRATH -
Let’s face it the Old Testament is full of instances of Him letting someone feel his wrath. I quote “The anger of the Lord burned against Israel” Samuel (24.1) Burning anger/Wrath - six and two threes if you ask me. There are many examples of the same. Seems He had an anger of biblical proportions which is highly appropriate!
ENVY -
Wording from the Ten Commandments - "You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord, your God, am a jealous God..." Says it all really.
LUST -
A liking for young virgins, holy spirits impregnating them, Jesus hanging around with prostitutes…
GLUTTONY -
Mmmm let me think. He wants to be the only Big Cheese in town and He would like us all to worship him. Seems He is not content unless he has Billions of us falling on our knees to Him and created us for that purpose. Now that’s just greedy.
AVARICE -
Now here’s where He might redeem himself. He had no need for money after all. However His representatives here on Earth certainly do. All those American Evangelists on Tv “$100 to get you straight to heaven” and all that.
SLOTH -
The Bible tells us "By the seventh day God finished the work He had been doing; so on the seventh day He rested from all His work.". Fair enough but as none of the work he did was physical why did he need a rest? Anyway if He is all seeing how comes He does nothing when His people are facing crisis? He may have created the Universe but Man has created all the really useful things we have today. What the hell has He been doing for all these years since His last project? Guess He’s been chilling out.
It's not looking good as far as setting an example goes is it now?
Jenny xx
Dragging It Into The Twenty First Century...
We live in a world of constant changes. They say things can't stay the same, that we need to change with the times, move the goalposts, re-write the rules...I reckon this should apply even if the rules are set in stone and with that I give you...
The Ten Commandments (Updated)
1. I am the Lord your God who brought you out of slavery in Egypt. Unless you’ve never been to Egypt or were a black slave in America in which case your God could be Martin Luther King.
2. You shall have no other gods but me. Except those who play for your favourite football team or indeed sing with your favourite rock group.
3. You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God. Unless you are angry, in pain, fed up, tired, excited, emotional, giving birth, delirious, happy, surprised…at times like this you may find use for the phrases Holy Fuck, Jesus Wept, Christ Al-fucking Mighty, In The Name Of God, Jesus H Christ, Fucking Crucify Me Why don’t You?, For Christs Sake, I Swear To Fucking God I’m going To Fucking Kill You.
4. You shall remember and keep the Sabbath day holy. Indeed wholly for lounging about reading the Sunday tabloids, eating and drinking.
5. Respect your father and mother. Unless they are complete fuck ups who have ruined your life or you do not know who they are.
6. You must not kill. Unless some bastard interferes with your child. This commandment does not extend to spiders who are free game.
7. You must not commit adultery. Unless you are sure you will not be caught.
8. You must not steal. From family or friends but major retailers that make millions of pounds in profits are a fair target.
9. You must not give false evidence against your neighbour. Unless they are the neighbours from hell in which case you are entitled to say what you like to get rid of them or drop them in the shit.
10. You must not be envious of your neighbour's goods. You shall not be envious of his house nor his wife, nor anything that belongs to your neighbour. However, there’s a good chance that you will and in such cases you will out do his home improvements, sleep with his wife and drive a bigger and better car.
Jenny xx
The Ten Commandments (Updated)
1. I am the Lord your God who brought you out of slavery in Egypt. Unless you’ve never been to Egypt or were a black slave in America in which case your God could be Martin Luther King.
2. You shall have no other gods but me. Except those who play for your favourite football team or indeed sing with your favourite rock group.
3. You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God. Unless you are angry, in pain, fed up, tired, excited, emotional, giving birth, delirious, happy, surprised…at times like this you may find use for the phrases Holy Fuck, Jesus Wept, Christ Al-fucking Mighty, In The Name Of God, Jesus H Christ, Fucking Crucify Me Why don’t You?, For Christs Sake, I Swear To Fucking God I’m going To Fucking Kill You.
4. You shall remember and keep the Sabbath day holy. Indeed wholly for lounging about reading the Sunday tabloids, eating and drinking.
5. Respect your father and mother. Unless they are complete fuck ups who have ruined your life or you do not know who they are.
6. You must not kill. Unless some bastard interferes with your child. This commandment does not extend to spiders who are free game.
7. You must not commit adultery. Unless you are sure you will not be caught.
8. You must not steal. From family or friends but major retailers that make millions of pounds in profits are a fair target.
9. You must not give false evidence against your neighbour. Unless they are the neighbours from hell in which case you are entitled to say what you like to get rid of them or drop them in the shit.
10. You must not be envious of your neighbour's goods. You shall not be envious of his house nor his wife, nor anything that belongs to your neighbour. However, there’s a good chance that you will and in such cases you will out do his home improvements, sleep with his wife and drive a bigger and better car.
Jenny xx
Middle Name...
I've never been that fond of mine. It is in case you're wondering May as in Jenny May. Why I chose to use it on here is beyond me cause I never use it anywhere else unless of course a man in uniform asks for it!
I'm called after my Gran who was a May. Could have been worse I suppose she could have been an Agnes! I've only ever met one other person with the middle name May and that's my good fiend Nikki's little girl Rowan. Maybe there is something in a name because she is a lovely wee thing, individual, fiesty and always has a "thinking" look like she's summing things up. I predict big things for her!I was surprised to find out that May is the 5th most popular middle name for a girl in Britain.
Traditionally middle names are used as a salute to other, mainly older relatives. This is certainly the case in my family. My younger Sis has the middle name Heather after Mum and poor Mum got the middle name Williamina after her Grandad who was obviously William. My Dad was the only one of us without a middle name but his name lives on in my nephew Dean whose middle names are Samuel Ross after both his Grandad's!! My two carry middle names as well. 8 year old has Rebecca in the middle in memory of my Great Gran Becky and 5 year old carries the names Thomas Francis around with him in tribute to Better Half's Grandad and Dad.
I suppose many people think it's a bit uncool to use middle names as a bit of respect to another relative but I think it's lovely especially when you are the person being remembered! I recall being chuffed to bits when my Sis and her Hubby told me they had given my niece the middle name Jennifer after me.
Ross I know is one who was never a big fan of his middle name and so changed it, one person I know has the middle names Jemima Helen which is so strange it's brilliant and my other little niece carries the middle names Isabella Carmen which brings to mind a dark haired film godess instead of a little girl from Midlothian but as she's gorgeous and dark I think she'll grow into the name just fine!
Spare a thought though for a girl I used to work with who got landed with the middle names Isobel Theresa...sounds ok until you know her first name began with T and her surname was Spencer. Name on the cheque book? Miss T.I.T Spencer. As for the parents who called their son Paul Rory Ian Cameron Knowles...what the fuck where you thinking??
Jenny xx
I'm called after my Gran who was a May. Could have been worse I suppose she could have been an Agnes! I've only ever met one other person with the middle name May and that's my good fiend Nikki's little girl Rowan. Maybe there is something in a name because she is a lovely wee thing, individual, fiesty and always has a "thinking" look like she's summing things up. I predict big things for her!I was surprised to find out that May is the 5th most popular middle name for a girl in Britain.
Traditionally middle names are used as a salute to other, mainly older relatives. This is certainly the case in my family. My younger Sis has the middle name Heather after Mum and poor Mum got the middle name Williamina after her Grandad who was obviously William. My Dad was the only one of us without a middle name but his name lives on in my nephew Dean whose middle names are Samuel Ross after both his Grandad's!! My two carry middle names as well. 8 year old has Rebecca in the middle in memory of my Great Gran Becky and 5 year old carries the names Thomas Francis around with him in tribute to Better Half's Grandad and Dad.
I suppose many people think it's a bit uncool to use middle names as a bit of respect to another relative but I think it's lovely especially when you are the person being remembered! I recall being chuffed to bits when my Sis and her Hubby told me they had given my niece the middle name Jennifer after me.
Ross I know is one who was never a big fan of his middle name and so changed it, one person I know has the middle names Jemima Helen which is so strange it's brilliant and my other little niece carries the middle names Isabella Carmen which brings to mind a dark haired film godess instead of a little girl from Midlothian but as she's gorgeous and dark I think she'll grow into the name just fine!
Spare a thought though for a girl I used to work with who got landed with the middle names Isobel Theresa...sounds ok until you know her first name began with T and her surname was Spencer. Name on the cheque book? Miss T.I.T Spencer. As for the parents who called their son Paul Rory Ian Cameron Knowles...what the fuck where you thinking??
Jenny xx
Love Is...
nothing if not complicated and bittersweet.
Sometimes in life we fall for the wrong person. Sometimes we fall for the right person. It's a gamble. If you're really lucky and all things are going your way everything works out just fine and then love is the warmest, happiest feeling you know. If the stars ain't on your side though love can be painful and leave you empty inside.
In life we all must take risks and relationships and love are full of risks. That and opportunity.
The world is full of people who have fallen for someone but missed their opportunity or been too afraid of the risks. How many times have we heard the excuses used for not pursuing someone we want. It's that same old lines everytime..what if it ruins our friendship? They might say no, they're with someone else, it's too long distance, I'm not pretty/thin/funny enough for them...
Time isn't always on your side and an opportunity missed is an opportunity wasted. I'm sure most of us have experienced that feeling in your gut when you realise that you've missed your chance and the object of your desire is now with someone else. Then you beat yourself up wishing you'd done something sooner. Too little, too late.
Personal experience has taught me to be bold in love. To follow the instinct. Better half was a married man when I met him. I was a married woman with a toddler. I had a list of excuses as long as my arm why I shouldn't take things further...but my heart told me to go for it and for once in my life I listened to that instead of my head and all the excuses it was full of and I jumped in with both feet.
It was the best thing I ever did. We've now been together 6 years and although we caused grief along the way, everyone involved is in a better place now especially me.
So to those of you pining for someone, for those of you wondering whether to make the leap...take a deep breath and jump. Think about it what's the worst that can happen? Yeah you could be rejected and suffer embarrassment but on the other hand you could just find yourself living out for real the things you dream about in your head.
Good Luck.
Jenny xx
Sometimes in life we fall for the wrong person. Sometimes we fall for the right person. It's a gamble. If you're really lucky and all things are going your way everything works out just fine and then love is the warmest, happiest feeling you know. If the stars ain't on your side though love can be painful and leave you empty inside.
In life we all must take risks and relationships and love are full of risks. That and opportunity.
The world is full of people who have fallen for someone but missed their opportunity or been too afraid of the risks. How many times have we heard the excuses used for not pursuing someone we want. It's that same old lines everytime..what if it ruins our friendship? They might say no, they're with someone else, it's too long distance, I'm not pretty/thin/funny enough for them...
Time isn't always on your side and an opportunity missed is an opportunity wasted. I'm sure most of us have experienced that feeling in your gut when you realise that you've missed your chance and the object of your desire is now with someone else. Then you beat yourself up wishing you'd done something sooner. Too little, too late.
Personal experience has taught me to be bold in love. To follow the instinct. Better half was a married man when I met him. I was a married woman with a toddler. I had a list of excuses as long as my arm why I shouldn't take things further...but my heart told me to go for it and for once in my life I listened to that instead of my head and all the excuses it was full of and I jumped in with both feet.
It was the best thing I ever did. We've now been together 6 years and although we caused grief along the way, everyone involved is in a better place now especially me.
So to those of you pining for someone, for those of you wondering whether to make the leap...take a deep breath and jump. Think about it what's the worst that can happen? Yeah you could be rejected and suffer embarrassment but on the other hand you could just find yourself living out for real the things you dream about in your head.
Good Luck.
Jenny xx
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Changing Rooms...
My house is currently like a bombsite. Unfit for human habitation and certainly unfit for any visitors to see. I'd be in deep trouble if a long distnace relative appeared on my doorstep!
The reason for this isn't because I'm a minging cow who has't cleaned...it's because we're decorating.
Currently as I write I am in the kitchen. Alongside me are two bin bags full of old clothes, a pile of mail to either be discarded or filed away, 2 mirrors, shelves, nick knacks for the downstairs loo, a matress, pictures, pots of paint, rollers, trays and brushes. Luckily my kitchen is fairly big so there's still room for me!
We decided to re-decorate 5 year old's bedroom...I use that term loosely, why do builders assume that a room 8ft by 6.5 foot is any use to anyone?? Anyway I bought the paint, white and blue seeing as he's a boy and joyously showed my choices to 5 year old who instantly declared "I don't want blue, I want Maroon" before throwing himself to the ground in a complete hissy fit. My son, like the rest of my household is a massive Hearts fan, hence the desire for the Maroon paint of his favourite Fottball team! I still reckoned on the blue but was out voted when 5 year old called in his Dad who instantly agreed that Maroon was indeed a good choice.
So the room is now freshly painted in White and Maroon. Of course it didn't stop there. Oh no. The painting was followed by new flooring, a new bed (in the process of being built as I write this) and a new wardrobe, currently sitting in the downstairs hallway!
In addition to 5 year old's room, the downstairs loo and kitchen are about to receive the same treatment. I must be mad. Every good housewife will tell you though that Santa likes a nice house to visit! We do we always feel the need to decorate "for christmas"???
Anyway I'm off now to help with the flat pack building, we all know men can't so it alone!
Jenny xx
The reason for this isn't because I'm a minging cow who has't cleaned...it's because we're decorating.
Currently as I write I am in the kitchen. Alongside me are two bin bags full of old clothes, a pile of mail to either be discarded or filed away, 2 mirrors, shelves, nick knacks for the downstairs loo, a matress, pictures, pots of paint, rollers, trays and brushes. Luckily my kitchen is fairly big so there's still room for me!
We decided to re-decorate 5 year old's bedroom...I use that term loosely, why do builders assume that a room 8ft by 6.5 foot is any use to anyone?? Anyway I bought the paint, white and blue seeing as he's a boy and joyously showed my choices to 5 year old who instantly declared "I don't want blue, I want Maroon" before throwing himself to the ground in a complete hissy fit. My son, like the rest of my household is a massive Hearts fan, hence the desire for the Maroon paint of his favourite Fottball team! I still reckoned on the blue but was out voted when 5 year old called in his Dad who instantly agreed that Maroon was indeed a good choice.
So the room is now freshly painted in White and Maroon. Of course it didn't stop there. Oh no. The painting was followed by new flooring, a new bed (in the process of being built as I write this) and a new wardrobe, currently sitting in the downstairs hallway!
In addition to 5 year old's room, the downstairs loo and kitchen are about to receive the same treatment. I must be mad. Every good housewife will tell you though that Santa likes a nice house to visit! We do we always feel the need to decorate "for christmas"???
Anyway I'm off now to help with the flat pack building, we all know men can't so it alone!
Jenny xx
My Mother's Love Life...
Seems to be the talk of the Bowling Club at the moment!
Rumours are rife that she has got herself a boyfriend and I suppose in a way she has if you put a space between the words boy and friend.
Mum has a group of friends that she socialises with and amongst that group there is a man who like Mum is on his own following the death of his wife. I used to think that once you got past a certain age it was possible to hang around with a man without people automatically assuming you were together. It appears this is not the case!
Some of Mum's other friends who are not part of the immediate group have convinced themselves and anyone else who'll listen that there's a serious relationship in development. I think they can hear wedding bells and knowing how gossip can spread I can only assume that in a few weeks time my Mother will be pregnant!!
I find the whole scenario amusing. Mum on the other hand is more of a worrier. She doesn't like people talking about her. I suppose for nearly 40 years she was able to hide behind my Dad whenever things got rough and he wasn't one to stand back and say nothing! Both my Sis and I have told her not to be daft...let 'em all think what they like is our feelings!
For the record, Mum and the man in question are good friends. He escorts her to club functions and she has helped him measure his curtain lengths in his new house. Occaisonally they dance together and he will buy her a drink at the bar...shocking ain't it?
As far as I'm concerned anyone who has known my Mum and Dad as a couple for any decent length of time or indeed anyone who saw what the aftermath of my Dad's death did to her will realise that my Dad meant the whole world to my Mum, he was and is the only man she ever loved. That said let's remember that life does indeed go on and my Mum is a 54 year old woman with (god willing) plenty of life left in her. In the last few months she has tranformed from a woman clouded with grief to a woman full of life and that is a good thing as far as I'm concerned. She will never get over losing my Dad but if someone else's companionship is helping put a smile on her face then so be it!
I loved my Dad more than any other man on the planet. He was unique, handsome, funny, intelligent and the best Dad anyone could have wished for. No one will ever take his place in my heart but of course there will be room made for anyone who makes my Mum happy.
If she chooses to take her friendship further then I'll back her all the way. After all she , my sister and I all know the hard way that life is too short not to be happy.
Whatever happens, be happy Mum.
Jenny xx
Rumours are rife that she has got herself a boyfriend and I suppose in a way she has if you put a space between the words boy and friend.
Mum has a group of friends that she socialises with and amongst that group there is a man who like Mum is on his own following the death of his wife. I used to think that once you got past a certain age it was possible to hang around with a man without people automatically assuming you were together. It appears this is not the case!
Some of Mum's other friends who are not part of the immediate group have convinced themselves and anyone else who'll listen that there's a serious relationship in development. I think they can hear wedding bells and knowing how gossip can spread I can only assume that in a few weeks time my Mother will be pregnant!!
I find the whole scenario amusing. Mum on the other hand is more of a worrier. She doesn't like people talking about her. I suppose for nearly 40 years she was able to hide behind my Dad whenever things got rough and he wasn't one to stand back and say nothing! Both my Sis and I have told her not to be daft...let 'em all think what they like is our feelings!
For the record, Mum and the man in question are good friends. He escorts her to club functions and she has helped him measure his curtain lengths in his new house. Occaisonally they dance together and he will buy her a drink at the bar...shocking ain't it?
As far as I'm concerned anyone who has known my Mum and Dad as a couple for any decent length of time or indeed anyone who saw what the aftermath of my Dad's death did to her will realise that my Dad meant the whole world to my Mum, he was and is the only man she ever loved. That said let's remember that life does indeed go on and my Mum is a 54 year old woman with (god willing) plenty of life left in her. In the last few months she has tranformed from a woman clouded with grief to a woman full of life and that is a good thing as far as I'm concerned. She will never get over losing my Dad but if someone else's companionship is helping put a smile on her face then so be it!
I loved my Dad more than any other man on the planet. He was unique, handsome, funny, intelligent and the best Dad anyone could have wished for. No one will ever take his place in my heart but of course there will be room made for anyone who makes my Mum happy.
If she chooses to take her friendship further then I'll back her all the way. After all she , my sister and I all know the hard way that life is too short not to be happy.
Whatever happens, be happy Mum.
Jenny xx
Friday, September 23, 2005
Darn Those Needles...
As you may know I'm currently on a course of injections to boost my B12 supply. Today I had injection number 3. The last two have been deposited in my ass, one on either side, and were kind of painful especially when I sat down!
Today though I saw the nurse who decided to stick number 3 in my upper arm. I took 5 year old along for the ride and while I winced and screwed up my face in pain he lay on the table in the nurses room laughing at me. Nice.
It was a damn sight more painful getting the jag in the arm. My arm feels like lead just now and I can't raise it above elbow height without making strange faces and wanting to moan out loud.
Now not being able to use my arm tonight meant I would be useless behind the bar so I'm not at work which is a shame because if your going to be off work you should use the time to get pissed and go out instead of sitting watching tv holding your throbbing arm.
I need to cheer myself up. I'm off to e bay to buy things I do not need nor want but as painkillers have not helped I am going to see if retail therapy will!
Have a nice evening.
Jenny xx
Today though I saw the nurse who decided to stick number 3 in my upper arm. I took 5 year old along for the ride and while I winced and screwed up my face in pain he lay on the table in the nurses room laughing at me. Nice.
It was a damn sight more painful getting the jag in the arm. My arm feels like lead just now and I can't raise it above elbow height without making strange faces and wanting to moan out loud.
Now not being able to use my arm tonight meant I would be useless behind the bar so I'm not at work which is a shame because if your going to be off work you should use the time to get pissed and go out instead of sitting watching tv holding your throbbing arm.
I need to cheer myself up. I'm off to e bay to buy things I do not need nor want but as painkillers have not helped I am going to see if retail therapy will!
Have a nice evening.
Jenny xx
Friday, September 16, 2005
I'm Not Going Mad...
I used to be hyperactive. I mean properly hyperactive. As a baby I slept for one hour out of 24 and once on my feet I would spend all night walking round my parent's coffee table over and over again. God bless my poor folks it must have been an absolute nightmare. It's bad enough having a new baby to deal with without it being loopy like I was.
All through childhood I was a night person...always up late, living on little sleep. Once I started working I loved doing the night shifts and often had only a few hours kip each day. I always had bags of energy and was always up to something, going somewhere or planning something.
Then I hit 26 and things began to change. Following the birth of 5 year old my body decided to change the way it worked. Gone were the days of boundless energy and in came tiredness like I'd never had in my life. I could sleep for 15 hours a night and still be tired a few hours later. I was often freezing cold and I began to get headaches which would last for days on end.
The Doc's diagnosed depression and treated me for such but it made no difference. In any event I didn't feel depressed just bloody tired. 18 long months later I was told I didn't have depression I had hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid).
There's a barrel load of symtoms that go along with this illness...lethargy, weight gain, headaches, muscular aches, cold extremities, dizzyness, period troubles and many, many more. I have them all. Luckily once I begun treatment the tiredness eased off and the periods are now gone, the rest of it I put up with still but to a lower degree.
Recently though I noticed another wierd thing happening. The tiredness came back, the headaches became worse and instead of always having freezing feet and hands they now altered between freezing cold and boiling hot. Most worrying of all though was that I began to lose feeling in my feet and legs, and I noticed that my arms would turn purple. I also realised that I was getting pins and needles at least 7 times a day and that my hands and feet were constantly tingiling.
The Doc ran blood tests and we awaited the results. When they came back we were baffled. Everything was fine. She had ruled out neurological problems, diabetes, my Thyroid was ok, I wasn't lacking in Iron...it seemed a mystery.
She decided to run more bloods explaining she wanted to check my vitamin levels and folate levels. Today I got a call from her to say I am vitamin B12 deficient.
There are 2 reasons for the deficiency apparently, either you just don't eat enough foods that contain it or your body doesn't absorb it properly. Now given B12 is only found in animal products and especially red meat I reckon my reason will be the former. In fact when I told the Doc my diet consisted of pasta, tomatoes, crisps and ice lollies she was less than amused! I haven't eaten red meat since I was 11 years old although I do occasionally eat chicken and fish but apparently that doesn't cut the mustard in the B12 stakes. The Doc was kind enough to realise that despite the best thing being that I return to eating steaks it was not going to be an option for me. She didn't pressure me but understood it was a choice I had made over 20 years ago and there was no going back. The very thought makes my stomach turn.
So at last I have a reason for my new wierd symptoms. Funnily enough people with Thyroid conditions are more prone to B12 deficencies....now there's a shock! I think people thought I was making my symptoms up...I actually thought for a moment maybe I was going mad but I'm not. For a change!
Anyway I now have to get B12 injected into my bum 5 times in the next 2 weeks and then every 3 months for life...things moved kind of fast in this department. I got the call from the Doc at 12pm today and have picked up my prescription and have just returned from having my first prick in the arse!! My bum is now bloody sore but not to worry, if it means no more pins and needles then I'm happy.
Doc advised me to rest today after the injection to avoid bruising and to lessen any reactions I may get. Fat bloody chance I'm working tonight at the club!!
And so I leave you to sit on my sore bum until I leave to start pulling pints!
Jenny xx
All through childhood I was a night person...always up late, living on little sleep. Once I started working I loved doing the night shifts and often had only a few hours kip each day. I always had bags of energy and was always up to something, going somewhere or planning something.
Then I hit 26 and things began to change. Following the birth of 5 year old my body decided to change the way it worked. Gone were the days of boundless energy and in came tiredness like I'd never had in my life. I could sleep for 15 hours a night and still be tired a few hours later. I was often freezing cold and I began to get headaches which would last for days on end.
The Doc's diagnosed depression and treated me for such but it made no difference. In any event I didn't feel depressed just bloody tired. 18 long months later I was told I didn't have depression I had hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid).
There's a barrel load of symtoms that go along with this illness...lethargy, weight gain, headaches, muscular aches, cold extremities, dizzyness, period troubles and many, many more. I have them all. Luckily once I begun treatment the tiredness eased off and the periods are now gone, the rest of it I put up with still but to a lower degree.
Recently though I noticed another wierd thing happening. The tiredness came back, the headaches became worse and instead of always having freezing feet and hands they now altered between freezing cold and boiling hot. Most worrying of all though was that I began to lose feeling in my feet and legs, and I noticed that my arms would turn purple. I also realised that I was getting pins and needles at least 7 times a day and that my hands and feet were constantly tingiling.
The Doc ran blood tests and we awaited the results. When they came back we were baffled. Everything was fine. She had ruled out neurological problems, diabetes, my Thyroid was ok, I wasn't lacking in Iron...it seemed a mystery.
She decided to run more bloods explaining she wanted to check my vitamin levels and folate levels. Today I got a call from her to say I am vitamin B12 deficient.
There are 2 reasons for the deficiency apparently, either you just don't eat enough foods that contain it or your body doesn't absorb it properly. Now given B12 is only found in animal products and especially red meat I reckon my reason will be the former. In fact when I told the Doc my diet consisted of pasta, tomatoes, crisps and ice lollies she was less than amused! I haven't eaten red meat since I was 11 years old although I do occasionally eat chicken and fish but apparently that doesn't cut the mustard in the B12 stakes. The Doc was kind enough to realise that despite the best thing being that I return to eating steaks it was not going to be an option for me. She didn't pressure me but understood it was a choice I had made over 20 years ago and there was no going back. The very thought makes my stomach turn.
So at last I have a reason for my new wierd symptoms. Funnily enough people with Thyroid conditions are more prone to B12 deficencies....now there's a shock! I think people thought I was making my symptoms up...I actually thought for a moment maybe I was going mad but I'm not. For a change!
Anyway I now have to get B12 injected into my bum 5 times in the next 2 weeks and then every 3 months for life...things moved kind of fast in this department. I got the call from the Doc at 12pm today and have picked up my prescription and have just returned from having my first prick in the arse!! My bum is now bloody sore but not to worry, if it means no more pins and needles then I'm happy.
Doc advised me to rest today after the injection to avoid bruising and to lessen any reactions I may get. Fat bloody chance I'm working tonight at the club!!
And so I leave you to sit on my sore bum until I leave to start pulling pints!
Jenny xx
Time For A Rant...
There I was last night sitting here checking my e-mails and sending a few when all of a sudden I get chucked out of it. Wierd. So I log back in, or at least try to. Turns out my e-mail address has been locked. Nice one.
Now as you do I went to the help page on-line to try and find out what is going on and how to fix it. It was about as much use as a chocolate teapot. The damn help page asks you to e mail them telling them what the problem is. You see the difficulty I might have doing that don't you?
So I resort to the telephone helpline (daylight robbery at 50p per minute) and I am met by an Asian woman who tells me to dial a different number. So I do and am met by another Asian woman telling me the same thing, ring another number. So I do. To cut the story short simply repeat the Asian woman and call another number thing by 7.
Eventually I get through to an Asian man who tells me to send an e-mail. "What fucking part of I can't get into the e-mail to send you one do you not understand?" The penny drops and he directs me to a help page where I can send a direct e-mail.
He advises me my e-mail is not suspended temporarily for maintenance so I must have breached the terms and conditions of use. "Try to remember the last e-mail you sent...it would have been that one that caused the lock". I think back. I remember it clearly. It was a message to my mate asking her how the kids and her Husband was. Here it is in full...
Hey you,
long time no speak. How's Chris and the kids? Hope everyone is doing ok. Drop me a line.
Jenny xx
Now it seems fairly innocent to me but obviously to Wanadoo it read something like...
Hey Osama,
Long time since you saw any action man, How's the plans for bombing the western world into oblivion coming along, hope it's all going to plan. Let me know when you need me to help.
Jenny xx
I mean honestly...you can see it, "Bloody hell it's a coded message from Jenny in Scotland, she's got terrorist links quick shut her account down". I fully expect the anti-terrorist squad at the door any minute, or maybe the paedophile police or drugs squad.
So if Mr Asian technical help man is to be believed I am not allowed to use my e mail account to send inoocent messages to friends across the globe. It is of course perfectly acceptable to send porn attachments, humour taking the piss out of all minorities, religions and cultures but a simple "hello, how's you?" is just unacceptable.
Fuck off.
So I've sent the direct e mail and await a response. Right now I hate fucking Wanadoo but what I hate more is the fact that every bloody time I need to ring them I get moved from one place to another but what I hate even more is the fact that everytime I speak to someone they are bloody Asian. I am assured there call centres are in England. If that's the case everyone in England must be Asian because it's not just Wanadoo it's every bloody place you ring.
Let me have another rant while I'm at it...I have worked in contact centres in various forms for nearly all my adult life. I have worked at all levels from the bottom to the top. It's not rocket science, you need only a few basic elements. You should be able to listen, be able to understand and be able to speak. It helps if you can type while doing the others as well but it's not always necessary.
The key to a sucessful contact centre is having staff who can perform these basic tasks while remaining polite. Why then do so many companies insist on hiring people who have just got off the asylum boat?? Seriously half of them can't speak English never mind understand it. Don't even get me started on this trend of moving contact centres to India and the like. They only do this because these people will work for a packet of monkey nuts and a glass of clean water. I just need to say stop it. I want to speak to someone who speaks my language. I don't want to haev to learn Urdu of whatever the fuck they speak.
End of rant.
Phew.
Jenny xx
Now as you do I went to the help page on-line to try and find out what is going on and how to fix it. It was about as much use as a chocolate teapot. The damn help page asks you to e mail them telling them what the problem is. You see the difficulty I might have doing that don't you?
So I resort to the telephone helpline (daylight robbery at 50p per minute) and I am met by an Asian woman who tells me to dial a different number. So I do and am met by another Asian woman telling me the same thing, ring another number. So I do. To cut the story short simply repeat the Asian woman and call another number thing by 7.
Eventually I get through to an Asian man who tells me to send an e-mail. "What fucking part of I can't get into the e-mail to send you one do you not understand?" The penny drops and he directs me to a help page where I can send a direct e-mail.
He advises me my e-mail is not suspended temporarily for maintenance so I must have breached the terms and conditions of use. "Try to remember the last e-mail you sent...it would have been that one that caused the lock". I think back. I remember it clearly. It was a message to my mate asking her how the kids and her Husband was. Here it is in full...
Hey you,
long time no speak. How's Chris and the kids? Hope everyone is doing ok. Drop me a line.
Jenny xx
Now it seems fairly innocent to me but obviously to Wanadoo it read something like...
Hey Osama,
Long time since you saw any action man, How's the plans for bombing the western world into oblivion coming along, hope it's all going to plan. Let me know when you need me to help.
Jenny xx
I mean honestly...you can see it, "Bloody hell it's a coded message from Jenny in Scotland, she's got terrorist links quick shut her account down". I fully expect the anti-terrorist squad at the door any minute, or maybe the paedophile police or drugs squad.
So if Mr Asian technical help man is to be believed I am not allowed to use my e mail account to send inoocent messages to friends across the globe. It is of course perfectly acceptable to send porn attachments, humour taking the piss out of all minorities, religions and cultures but a simple "hello, how's you?" is just unacceptable.
Fuck off.
So I've sent the direct e mail and await a response. Right now I hate fucking Wanadoo but what I hate more is the fact that every bloody time I need to ring them I get moved from one place to another but what I hate even more is the fact that everytime I speak to someone they are bloody Asian. I am assured there call centres are in England. If that's the case everyone in England must be Asian because it's not just Wanadoo it's every bloody place you ring.
Let me have another rant while I'm at it...I have worked in contact centres in various forms for nearly all my adult life. I have worked at all levels from the bottom to the top. It's not rocket science, you need only a few basic elements. You should be able to listen, be able to understand and be able to speak. It helps if you can type while doing the others as well but it's not always necessary.
The key to a sucessful contact centre is having staff who can perform these basic tasks while remaining polite. Why then do so many companies insist on hiring people who have just got off the asylum boat?? Seriously half of them can't speak English never mind understand it. Don't even get me started on this trend of moving contact centres to India and the like. They only do this because these people will work for a packet of monkey nuts and a glass of clean water. I just need to say stop it. I want to speak to someone who speaks my language. I don't want to haev to learn Urdu of whatever the fuck they speak.
End of rant.
Phew.
Jenny xx
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Alton Towers or Bust...
It's the September weekend here in Edinburgh this weekend. A sort of made up public holiday. The kids are off school until Wednesday so we figured we'd do something. Now normal procedure during the september weekend is to pack your bags - families and pensioner's alike and head to Blackpool but not for us. I've had enough of Blackpool for the time being and anyway this weekend every coach in Lothian will be filled and heading that way. Blackpool's hotel's will be full of pensioner's on their annual trip away with their various clubs and societies and the prom will be full of Burberry wearing ned's and Dad's in afro wigs.
So instead we're heading to Alton Towers, it's the best time to go cause there will be hardly any English there. Nothing against them it's just that there are too damn many of them and they make the queues to long!
Of course as usual with my family it's not just me and my other 3 that are going. The rest of the tribe are coming along as well...we're like a trade union us lot...one out, all out.
So come Sunday I'll be riding Rita (pardon the expression) and plunging to Oblivion amongst other things.
Jenny xx
So instead we're heading to Alton Towers, it's the best time to go cause there will be hardly any English there. Nothing against them it's just that there are too damn many of them and they make the queues to long!
Of course as usual with my family it's not just me and my other 3 that are going. The rest of the tribe are coming along as well...we're like a trade union us lot...one out, all out.
So come Sunday I'll be riding Rita (pardon the expression) and plunging to Oblivion amongst other things.
Jenny xx
Monday, September 12, 2005
Got Me A New Status Symbol...
I like to have things a wee bit different from other people. Sadly I can't afford a shiny new Aston Martin DB9 or similar so have to make so with my new Honda C-RV. However I did allow myself the luxury of a few extra grand on having a leather interior, heated seats, dvd player, sat nav and fancy exhaust thingy but just to add a wee touch extra I've got myself a new personal number plate to put on it.
Better half has had one for 3 years now after a kind soul bought him one for his 39th birthday - that would be me!
I now have my own and I'm very pleased.
So there.
Jenny xx
Better half has had one for 3 years now after a kind soul bought him one for his 39th birthday - that would be me!
I now have my own and I'm very pleased.
So there.
Jenny xx
Hello New Jersey
Had a wee look at my Stats today for the first time in ages.
Seems I've got me a fair few returning visitors and not only those who I know about! So hello to the Godess (she knows who she is!) and hello to the mysterious stranger from New Jersey who has been having a wee look.
God knows why you all keep coming back but it's nice knowing ya'll!
Have a nice day. Or night depending on where you are and what time it is.
Jenny xx
Seems I've got me a fair few returning visitors and not only those who I know about! So hello to the Godess (she knows who she is!) and hello to the mysterious stranger from New Jersey who has been having a wee look.
God knows why you all keep coming back but it's nice knowing ya'll!
Have a nice day. Or night depending on where you are and what time it is.
Jenny xx
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Life Education...
I've been on this planet for 31 years now and along the way I've learned a few things. I thought I'd share them with you. The list is not exhaustive and I'm sure I'll learn more as I go on my merry way through this life...
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in...
I've learned that one good turn gets most of the duvet.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just lost causes.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.
I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.
I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent.
I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, Mr Nobody did it.
I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.
I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.
I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
I’ve learned that you are only as old as the person you feel.
I’ve learned that when you think things can only get better they inevitably get worse.
I’ve learned never to trust anyone who says “Trust me”.
I’ve learned having manners is not important but how you use them is.
I’ve learned that the grass is not always greener on the other side, everyone has weeds.
I’ve learned there is no pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.
I’ve learned that time stands still for no man unless he’s in a pub in which case time apparently has no relevance.
I’ve learned that one drink does not lead to another, it leads to many other’s.
I’ve learned that periods are not a curse but an excuse not to take the kids swimming.
I’ve learned that sex with a friend’s boyfriend is like having chocolate cake, you might enjoy it at the time but you will end up regretting having it.
I’ve learned that having kids is like having a tattoo, painful when you get them and with you for life.
I’ve learned only fools rush in except when there is a shoe sale on.
I’ve learned never to take people for granted unless I wish to be taken for granted myself.
I’ve learned that the price of a holiday advertised in a travel agents window is always incorrect.
I’ve learned that although I may have only 2 feet I need 30 pairs of shoes in order to function correctly.
I’ve learned that an early night means just that and not anything else.
I’ve learned that too many cooks may spoil the broth but my being the only cook in the house will lead to arguments in the kitchen.
I’ve learned that grief can only be taken away by the one person who has caused it.
I’ve learned that true friends have an open door, open heart and open ear to me and closed legs to my partner.
I’ve learned that money is not the root of all evil, jealousy is.
I’ve learned that true love is a feeling in the pit of your stomach, Lust is a feeling between your legs.
I’ve learned that a smile costs nothing but a snigger can cost you friendship or your job.
I’ve learned that good time keeping is not essential but good timing is.
I’ve learned that common sense is not common at all it is a rarity that few people actually use.
I’ve learned that occasionally demonstrating my temper will avoid the need for me to use it too often.
I’ve learned that the way to a man’s heart is not through his stomach but keeping a fridge stocked with lager and being pledging allegiance to his football team.
I’ve learned that in order to gain respect I need to give it.
I’ve learned that if I wear new underwear, more make up than normal and have my hair cut more than once every 6 weeks it will be assumed I am having an affair.
I’ve learned that ironing is a job best left to a man.
I’ve learned a smile has more effect on a man than a pair of tits ever will.
I’ve learned to accept my faults because others are every bit as flawed as I am.
I’ve learned that it is indeed better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
I’ve learned that turning the other cheek is not always the best course of action but slapping someone else’s cheek may well be.
I’ve learned an unexpected pregnancy is not a mistake but an act of stupidity.
I’ve learned that a dog is not for life, just about 10 years.
I’ve learned there is no point having house insurance unless you claim on it.
I’ve learned to like Chinese food, after all a billion people can’t be wrong.
I’ve learned that mixing my drink does not lead to a hangover, too much drink does.
I’ve learned that giving someone a compliment costs nothing.
I’ve learned that only bad news comes in brown envelopes.
I’ve learned that sex education is a life long course.
I’ve learned speaking my mind can stop me from going out of my mind.
I’ve learned never to try and hold an important conversation with a man during match of the day.
I’ve learned not to go to bed on an argument but to stay up and fight.
I’ve learned not to follow my horoscope but to follow my instinct.
I’ve learned that white lies are acceptable because the truth can hurt.
I’ve learned that flattery will get you everywhere and anywhere.
I’ve learned it’s sometimes better to speak before you think rather than think before you speak.
I’ve learned that a good memory is a good thing, especially if you’ve told a lie.
I’ve learned saints are just sinners who have not yet been caught out.
I’ve learned that my favourite book is a cheque book.
I’ve learned sex is only dirty when it’s done properly.
I’ve learned religion is a weapon of mass destruction.
I’ve learned that knowledge is power but acting dumb can save your ass in a when you’re in a tight spot.
I’ve learned that true wisdom is knowing Tomatoes are a fruit but never putting them in a fruit salad.
I’ve learned to realise that sometimes it takes more courage to walk away than stand and fight.
I’ve learned that if I tell my children not to touch wet paint they will touch it anyway.
I’ve learned that I will not have to take anything on the chin provided I throw the first punch.
I’ve learned that money does not lead to happiness, spending it does.
I’ve learned that the older I get the more likely it is I will want to wear cardigans.
I’ve realised that a woman’s bladder ages a damn sight quicker than the rest of her body.
I’ve learned that emotional blackmail can work a treat.
I’ve learned that as a woman it may not be acceptable to have a dirty home but it is acceptable to have a dirty laugh and a dirty mind.
I’ve learned that I will never spend less than 20 minutes in a Post Office queue on pension day.
I’ve learned that a dog is not man’s best friend, the remote control is.
I’ve learned that true happiness is different things to different people.
I’ve learned that the most important job I will ever do is raising my children.
I’ve learned that stealing someone else's husband is acceptable if your doing the stealing.
I’ve learned that I can only find inner peace when I am in the bath with the door locked.
I’ve learned my children’s happiness depends on whether they are allowed sweets or not.
Jenny xx
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in...
I've learned that one good turn gets most of the duvet.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just lost causes.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.
I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.
I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent.
I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, Mr Nobody did it.
I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.
I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.
I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
I’ve learned that you are only as old as the person you feel.
I’ve learned that when you think things can only get better they inevitably get worse.
I’ve learned never to trust anyone who says “Trust me”.
I’ve learned having manners is not important but how you use them is.
I’ve learned that the grass is not always greener on the other side, everyone has weeds.
I’ve learned there is no pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.
I’ve learned that time stands still for no man unless he’s in a pub in which case time apparently has no relevance.
I’ve learned that one drink does not lead to another, it leads to many other’s.
I’ve learned that periods are not a curse but an excuse not to take the kids swimming.
I’ve learned that sex with a friend’s boyfriend is like having chocolate cake, you might enjoy it at the time but you will end up regretting having it.
I’ve learned that having kids is like having a tattoo, painful when you get them and with you for life.
I’ve learned only fools rush in except when there is a shoe sale on.
I’ve learned never to take people for granted unless I wish to be taken for granted myself.
I’ve learned that the price of a holiday advertised in a travel agents window is always incorrect.
I’ve learned that although I may have only 2 feet I need 30 pairs of shoes in order to function correctly.
I’ve learned that an early night means just that and not anything else.
I’ve learned that too many cooks may spoil the broth but my being the only cook in the house will lead to arguments in the kitchen.
I’ve learned that grief can only be taken away by the one person who has caused it.
I’ve learned that true friends have an open door, open heart and open ear to me and closed legs to my partner.
I’ve learned that money is not the root of all evil, jealousy is.
I’ve learned that true love is a feeling in the pit of your stomach, Lust is a feeling between your legs.
I’ve learned that a smile costs nothing but a snigger can cost you friendship or your job.
I’ve learned that good time keeping is not essential but good timing is.
I’ve learned that common sense is not common at all it is a rarity that few people actually use.
I’ve learned that occasionally demonstrating my temper will avoid the need for me to use it too often.
I’ve learned that the way to a man’s heart is not through his stomach but keeping a fridge stocked with lager and being pledging allegiance to his football team.
I’ve learned that in order to gain respect I need to give it.
I’ve learned that if I wear new underwear, more make up than normal and have my hair cut more than once every 6 weeks it will be assumed I am having an affair.
I’ve learned that ironing is a job best left to a man.
I’ve learned a smile has more effect on a man than a pair of tits ever will.
I’ve learned to accept my faults because others are every bit as flawed as I am.
I’ve learned that it is indeed better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
I’ve learned that turning the other cheek is not always the best course of action but slapping someone else’s cheek may well be.
I’ve learned an unexpected pregnancy is not a mistake but an act of stupidity.
I’ve learned that a dog is not for life, just about 10 years.
I’ve learned there is no point having house insurance unless you claim on it.
I’ve learned to like Chinese food, after all a billion people can’t be wrong.
I’ve learned that mixing my drink does not lead to a hangover, too much drink does.
I’ve learned that giving someone a compliment costs nothing.
I’ve learned that only bad news comes in brown envelopes.
I’ve learned that sex education is a life long course.
I’ve learned speaking my mind can stop me from going out of my mind.
I’ve learned never to try and hold an important conversation with a man during match of the day.
I’ve learned not to go to bed on an argument but to stay up and fight.
I’ve learned not to follow my horoscope but to follow my instinct.
I’ve learned that white lies are acceptable because the truth can hurt.
I’ve learned that flattery will get you everywhere and anywhere.
I’ve learned it’s sometimes better to speak before you think rather than think before you speak.
I’ve learned that a good memory is a good thing, especially if you’ve told a lie.
I’ve learned saints are just sinners who have not yet been caught out.
I’ve learned that my favourite book is a cheque book.
I’ve learned sex is only dirty when it’s done properly.
I’ve learned religion is a weapon of mass destruction.
I’ve learned that knowledge is power but acting dumb can save your ass in a when you’re in a tight spot.
I’ve learned that true wisdom is knowing Tomatoes are a fruit but never putting them in a fruit salad.
I’ve learned to realise that sometimes it takes more courage to walk away than stand and fight.
I’ve learned that if I tell my children not to touch wet paint they will touch it anyway.
I’ve learned that I will not have to take anything on the chin provided I throw the first punch.
I’ve learned that money does not lead to happiness, spending it does.
I’ve learned that the older I get the more likely it is I will want to wear cardigans.
I’ve realised that a woman’s bladder ages a damn sight quicker than the rest of her body.
I’ve learned that emotional blackmail can work a treat.
I’ve learned that as a woman it may not be acceptable to have a dirty home but it is acceptable to have a dirty laugh and a dirty mind.
I’ve learned that I will never spend less than 20 minutes in a Post Office queue on pension day.
I’ve learned that a dog is not man’s best friend, the remote control is.
I’ve learned that true happiness is different things to different people.
I’ve learned that the most important job I will ever do is raising my children.
I’ve learned that stealing someone else's husband is acceptable if your doing the stealing.
I’ve learned that I can only find inner peace when I am in the bath with the door locked.
I’ve learned my children’s happiness depends on whether they are allowed sweets or not.
Jenny xx
Friday, September 02, 2005
I Love The Internet...
Ain't it grand? You can get all your shopping in, find enough reading material to satisfy your needs, find things to make you laugh or cry, download movies, music and anything else you fancy, get pictures, find intresting facts, look up relatives and friends, sort out your finances, get directions, chat to strangers, play games...the list is endless! You don't even have to leave the house, which is a great news for agoraphobics!!
Did I mention you can also find out lots of personal information about people? No? Well you can and this can be both intresting and sometimes necessary too!!
I'll give you an example shall I? Someone, who shall remain nameless, that I know claims to be a certain age. If it could be proven that this person was not the age they claimed to be it could have deliriously delightful consequences for a fair few people I know. So I am asked to find out if the age this person is claiming to be is true. 10 minutes on the internet and I have written proof that the person has lied about their age! Result!
So if you wanted to find out information on say Joe Bloggs within minutes you could know, his address, date of birth, credit history, who else lives with him, how many times Joe Bloggs got married and when and to whom and where, whether Joe has kids and whether he works...oh and his neighbours names if you like! Scary but true and all at the click of a mouse!
The sites that provide this info normally charge a fee but if you're dead clever you can get the info for free (I'm not telling how though...that's my secret...ok I'll give you a hint...you need to have a smart mouth!!).
Anyway suffice to say the person I know who claimed to be one age has now been proven to be uneconomical with the truth and I have the written proof. Gotcha!!!
I Love The Internet!!!
Jenny xx
Did I mention you can also find out lots of personal information about people? No? Well you can and this can be both intresting and sometimes necessary too!!
I'll give you an example shall I? Someone, who shall remain nameless, that I know claims to be a certain age. If it could be proven that this person was not the age they claimed to be it could have deliriously delightful consequences for a fair few people I know. So I am asked to find out if the age this person is claiming to be is true. 10 minutes on the internet and I have written proof that the person has lied about their age! Result!
So if you wanted to find out information on say Joe Bloggs within minutes you could know, his address, date of birth, credit history, who else lives with him, how many times Joe Bloggs got married and when and to whom and where, whether Joe has kids and whether he works...oh and his neighbours names if you like! Scary but true and all at the click of a mouse!
The sites that provide this info normally charge a fee but if you're dead clever you can get the info for free (I'm not telling how though...that's my secret...ok I'll give you a hint...you need to have a smart mouth!!).
Anyway suffice to say the person I know who claimed to be one age has now been proven to be uneconomical with the truth and I have the written proof. Gotcha!!!
I Love The Internet!!!
Jenny xx
Mutants Part 2...
Fucking typical! I would like to refer you to the post prior to this one in which I discussed my loathing of the Mutant Spiders of Kirknewton. I would like to quote myself at this point as saying in my previous post "I have had only 2 visits (from mutant spider) this year"
Strike that. Make it 3 visits. I sat there last night on the PC and heard a patter patter noise, right in front of me on the bloody wall not a foot away was bloody Mutant Spider crawling up my son's painting from nursery. Bastarding cheek! How did I handle it? I screamed, ran upstairs, woke better half to tell him of my plight. He swore, swore a bit more and then after a few minutes of nagging form me, headed off to dispose of the beast. Naked I might add...who the hell goes to dispose of Mutant Spider naked? Personally I'd have on at least a pair of protective overalls, gloves and wellies..oh and maybe a hat and goggles just to be safe, but naked? What if it falls to the floor? How the hell are you going to stand on it in bare feet?
Anyway the fact that I was sitting there in my PJ's with bare feet...and the thought that Mutant Spider may well have ran past my bare tootsies before running up my wall...Dear god what if Mutant Spider had missed the wall and mistaken my leg for something to climb up?? Holy Fuck!! (Note to self - Stop thinking about it..Now!) I am off for a lie down to recover from the shock in a well lit room where the windows have been closed for a few days...
Jenny xx
Strike that. Make it 3 visits. I sat there last night on the PC and heard a patter patter noise, right in front of me on the bloody wall not a foot away was bloody Mutant Spider crawling up my son's painting from nursery. Bastarding cheek! How did I handle it? I screamed, ran upstairs, woke better half to tell him of my plight. He swore, swore a bit more and then after a few minutes of nagging form me, headed off to dispose of the beast. Naked I might add...who the hell goes to dispose of Mutant Spider naked? Personally I'd have on at least a pair of protective overalls, gloves and wellies..oh and maybe a hat and goggles just to be safe, but naked? What if it falls to the floor? How the hell are you going to stand on it in bare feet?
Anyway the fact that I was sitting there in my PJ's with bare feet...and the thought that Mutant Spider may well have ran past my bare tootsies before running up my wall...Dear god what if Mutant Spider had missed the wall and mistaken my leg for something to climb up?? Holy Fuck!! (Note to self - Stop thinking about it..Now!) I am off for a lie down to recover from the shock in a well lit room where the windows have been closed for a few days...
Jenny xx
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Mutants...
I've always been a city girl raised all my life in Edinburgh, until that is I moved out to the countryside just over 5 years ago. I am now in a small village about 6 miles outside Edinburgh and I need to tell you it certainly is different.
I remember coming to view the house I now live in for the first time...a nice quiet cul-de-sac of houses only a few years old, one main street with one shop and a pub, tree's everywhere, fields and plenty open spaces. A small village school and lots of lovely old cottages everywhere, it even has it's own little graveyard. I liked it and the house was sold!
What I didn't realise though was that living in such a location would bring previously undiscovered issues, for example, who knew sheep could make such a bloody racket bleating away at 5am, or that the wind is a damn sight noisier in the country as it rattles through all the tree's. In addition you have the fragrant smell of manure being spread over fields in the summer months and don't even get me started on the fact that snowploughs and gritters can't seem to find country roads in winter!
But I digress, the main problem I have encountered since my conversion to countryside life is the wildlife. Midges. Flies. Bluebottles. Daddy long legs. Slugs. Frogs. Snails. Horseflies. Butterflies, Dragonflies. Any other kind of fly. Hedgehogs. Moths. Foxes. Mice. Wasps. Bee's. Caterpillars. Rabbitts. All of them regular visitors to my house or garden at some point, Oh and spiders and here lies the real issue...I hate bloody spiders. Little baby spiders I can cope with...just, but great big mutant hairy spiders I can't.
Now before you think I'm over-reacting I kid you not when I tell you these things have bodies the size of a ten pence piece and legs as thick as matches. They're not your everyday house spider. They are beings unto themselves. They are enough to cause this Mother of 2 (and as such I have seen a few scary sights let me tell you!) to run from a room screaming and not return for hours!
Luckily I have better half who will remove the offending creature when they appear. It is compulsory that he kills them though, I'm not having them thinking they can come back again, or giving them the chance to mate with a partner and it's unacceptable to flush them down the loo, just in case they crawl back up when I'm peeing!!
Of course better half likes to laugh at my screaming and shaking and very occasionally will tease me by getting the offending beast and coming towards me with it. Following last weeks mutant spider visit (it was in my bloody bedroom the cheeky bugger!) I think he now realises his own death will follow should he keep this up!
Please don't tell me that the mutant spider is more scared of me than I am of it. That's rubbish. If I am afraid of something I would hide from it. Mutant spider is not afraid of me otherwise he would not walk across my lounge floor bold as brass, nor would he have the cheek to sit in my bath or for that matter to crawl up my bedroom wall in clear view of me. Don;t tell me either that having mutant spiders will help keep flies away - a can of bloody fly spray does the job just as well!!
Thankfully mutant spider only appears during the summer months and especially during warm periods when we have heavy rain. You see I have made a point of noticing mutant spiders movements. This year has been better than last and I have only had 2 visits so far this summer.
I read in an article that these mutants are moving into Scotland because our climate is getting warmer. Apparently they are fairly new to these parts and have worked their way north from the south of England over the last decade. Quelle surprise that we should be getting them from the English! Anyhow note to mutant spiders...fuck off to Spain, they have a much better climate than Scotland and the drinks cheaper.
Jenny xx
I remember coming to view the house I now live in for the first time...a nice quiet cul-de-sac of houses only a few years old, one main street with one shop and a pub, tree's everywhere, fields and plenty open spaces. A small village school and lots of lovely old cottages everywhere, it even has it's own little graveyard. I liked it and the house was sold!
What I didn't realise though was that living in such a location would bring previously undiscovered issues, for example, who knew sheep could make such a bloody racket bleating away at 5am, or that the wind is a damn sight noisier in the country as it rattles through all the tree's. In addition you have the fragrant smell of manure being spread over fields in the summer months and don't even get me started on the fact that snowploughs and gritters can't seem to find country roads in winter!
But I digress, the main problem I have encountered since my conversion to countryside life is the wildlife. Midges. Flies. Bluebottles. Daddy long legs. Slugs. Frogs. Snails. Horseflies. Butterflies, Dragonflies. Any other kind of fly. Hedgehogs. Moths. Foxes. Mice. Wasps. Bee's. Caterpillars. Rabbitts. All of them regular visitors to my house or garden at some point, Oh and spiders and here lies the real issue...I hate bloody spiders. Little baby spiders I can cope with...just, but great big mutant hairy spiders I can't.
Now before you think I'm over-reacting I kid you not when I tell you these things have bodies the size of a ten pence piece and legs as thick as matches. They're not your everyday house spider. They are beings unto themselves. They are enough to cause this Mother of 2 (and as such I have seen a few scary sights let me tell you!) to run from a room screaming and not return for hours!
Luckily I have better half who will remove the offending creature when they appear. It is compulsory that he kills them though, I'm not having them thinking they can come back again, or giving them the chance to mate with a partner and it's unacceptable to flush them down the loo, just in case they crawl back up when I'm peeing!!
Of course better half likes to laugh at my screaming and shaking and very occasionally will tease me by getting the offending beast and coming towards me with it. Following last weeks mutant spider visit (it was in my bloody bedroom the cheeky bugger!) I think he now realises his own death will follow should he keep this up!
Please don't tell me that the mutant spider is more scared of me than I am of it. That's rubbish. If I am afraid of something I would hide from it. Mutant spider is not afraid of me otherwise he would not walk across my lounge floor bold as brass, nor would he have the cheek to sit in my bath or for that matter to crawl up my bedroom wall in clear view of me. Don;t tell me either that having mutant spiders will help keep flies away - a can of bloody fly spray does the job just as well!!
Thankfully mutant spider only appears during the summer months and especially during warm periods when we have heavy rain. You see I have made a point of noticing mutant spiders movements. This year has been better than last and I have only had 2 visits so far this summer.
I read in an article that these mutants are moving into Scotland because our climate is getting warmer. Apparently they are fairly new to these parts and have worked their way north from the south of England over the last decade. Quelle surprise that we should be getting them from the English! Anyhow note to mutant spiders...fuck off to Spain, they have a much better climate than Scotland and the drinks cheaper.
Jenny xx
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Just A Thought...
I am a curious person by nature. I always have a question to ask or a thought about something in my head. Usually random meaningless things that will have no great impact on the world but bother me.
For example...
Who decided there should be 60 seconds in a minute? Or for that matter 60 minutes in an hour? Why 60? Why not 50 which is a nicer number?
Supposing you have a best friend or partner whom you've been with or known for say 40 years. You've done everything together, share everything, are the biggest part of each other's lives. Always there for each other through up's and down's. You couldn't bear to lose them could you? And they think the same about you. Yet for all you share and for all you go through together the likelihood is that one of you will be left to face the death of the other alone. Worse still, despite sharing everything for umpteen years, one of you will probably not say goodbye to the other and will not attend the other's funeral. That really bugs me.
I believe in the afterlife but if it's there then why has no-one come back to tell us what it's like?
When you die, they tell you that you'll finally meet your maker. He/She/It will be there to welcome you to heaven/or whatever you believe in. Fine. However thousands of people die on the same day. Do you have to sit in a waiting room until your name is called? Or is it like to supermarket Deli counter where you take a ticket and wait till your number is called? Pack me off with a good book just in case there is a wait...it'll help pass the time.
There are loads of other random thoughts like this which enter my head with surprising regularity. God knows why. Maybe I just think too much. I am though not alone. Nikki one of my mates came out with a blinding thought just the other day.
Mosquito's bite a human being and suck the blood. If they bite a human with Aids do they then contract the virus? Are they then an Aids carrying Mossie? If so do they pass the disease on when they next inject and suck?
Like I said blinding thought. I only wish it had been mine!! I buggered if I know the answer!
Jenny xx
For example...
Who decided there should be 60 seconds in a minute? Or for that matter 60 minutes in an hour? Why 60? Why not 50 which is a nicer number?
Supposing you have a best friend or partner whom you've been with or known for say 40 years. You've done everything together, share everything, are the biggest part of each other's lives. Always there for each other through up's and down's. You couldn't bear to lose them could you? And they think the same about you. Yet for all you share and for all you go through together the likelihood is that one of you will be left to face the death of the other alone. Worse still, despite sharing everything for umpteen years, one of you will probably not say goodbye to the other and will not attend the other's funeral. That really bugs me.
I believe in the afterlife but if it's there then why has no-one come back to tell us what it's like?
When you die, they tell you that you'll finally meet your maker. He/She/It will be there to welcome you to heaven/or whatever you believe in. Fine. However thousands of people die on the same day. Do you have to sit in a waiting room until your name is called? Or is it like to supermarket Deli counter where you take a ticket and wait till your number is called? Pack me off with a good book just in case there is a wait...it'll help pass the time.
There are loads of other random thoughts like this which enter my head with surprising regularity. God knows why. Maybe I just think too much. I am though not alone. Nikki one of my mates came out with a blinding thought just the other day.
Mosquito's bite a human being and suck the blood. If they bite a human with Aids do they then contract the virus? Are they then an Aids carrying Mossie? If so do they pass the disease on when they next inject and suck?
Like I said blinding thought. I only wish it had been mine!! I buggered if I know the answer!
Jenny xx
Inspired...
So there I was feeling pained by the fact that I had nothing to write about on here when I stumble across another blog which blows my boredom from my mind and makes me feel a bit silly for having nothing to write about.
The blog is by a lady called Michelle who lives in Minneapolis (one of my favourtite places, in fact I'm off there in 8 weeks!!) in the US of A. Michelle is 28 years old. There is a photo of her on the blog which shows her to be a beautiful woman with a lovely bright smile. This photo, with it's big grin, is sort of at odds with the subject of the blog. You see Michelle has MS and the blog is her journal of the illness.
I have known 2 people in my life who had MS and know what a horrible illness it can be. It's debilitating nature can leave even the most positive soul feeling sorry for themselves and with good reason. Michelle though has detailed the first symptoms, her fear while waiting for her diagnosis, her treatment and her up days and down days with a hint of a smile and a big dose of "I won't let this ruin my spirit".
I fully admit that while reading through it I went from tears to laughter and back again more than once. Michelle's lack of self pity and determination to carry on with her life as much as possible is an inspiration. Not only to fellow sufferers but to other's like me who have nothing more to worry about today then whether to hang out my washing!
Read it for yourself here.
Jenny xx
The blog is by a lady called Michelle who lives in Minneapolis (one of my favourtite places, in fact I'm off there in 8 weeks!!) in the US of A. Michelle is 28 years old. There is a photo of her on the blog which shows her to be a beautiful woman with a lovely bright smile. This photo, with it's big grin, is sort of at odds with the subject of the blog. You see Michelle has MS and the blog is her journal of the illness.
I have known 2 people in my life who had MS and know what a horrible illness it can be. It's debilitating nature can leave even the most positive soul feeling sorry for themselves and with good reason. Michelle though has detailed the first symptoms, her fear while waiting for her diagnosis, her treatment and her up days and down days with a hint of a smile and a big dose of "I won't let this ruin my spirit".
I fully admit that while reading through it I went from tears to laughter and back again more than once. Michelle's lack of self pity and determination to carry on with her life as much as possible is an inspiration. Not only to fellow sufferers but to other's like me who have nothing more to worry about today then whether to hang out my washing!
Read it for yourself here.
Jenny xx
Monday, August 29, 2005
Boredom...
I feel the need to write on here but I am being held back by one vital element. Boredom. I simply cannot think what the hell to write about.
This is mainly because nothing has been happening in the merry old land of Jenny in recent days. I've no stories to tell and have heard little or no gossip to pass on...unless you count my sister's ex-boyfriend's brother in law commiting suicide, my cousin losing her drivers license for reckless driving after hitting a lamp post, a thief being on the loose at my children's school or someone I know being suspected of fraud. Of course this is usual run of the mill stuff for me and not worth bothering about.
If you're reading this and have any suggestions n what to write about let me know...god knows I need the inspiration!!!
Jenny xx
This is mainly because nothing has been happening in the merry old land of Jenny in recent days. I've no stories to tell and have heard little or no gossip to pass on...unless you count my sister's ex-boyfriend's brother in law commiting suicide, my cousin losing her drivers license for reckless driving after hitting a lamp post, a thief being on the loose at my children's school or someone I know being suspected of fraud. Of course this is usual run of the mill stuff for me and not worth bothering about.
If you're reading this and have any suggestions n what to write about let me know...god knows I need the inspiration!!!
Jenny xx
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Don't You Just Love A Smart Ass....
Last night at "the club", you know that place I work in, there was a quiz night on. I like a wee quiz and so Nikki and I decided we'd join in - not officially cause we're not allowed while we're working - but unofficially to test our brains.
Upon advising Ross that I'm a bit good at general knowledge and useless trivia, he declared he was the master at such things, or words to that effect. "who caused the start of the first world war then?" he asks me. I haven't a clue and tell him so. I try to advise him that in a pub quiz they are much more likely to ask how many number one's Wham! had...Ross disgaree's.
So along comes round one...basic general knowledge. 10 questions.
Question one is read out - "At any one time what is the average number of people on death row in Texas?" The quizmaster asks. Nikki and I look at each other in a pondering kind of way. Ross however states "I saw that in tv not long ago...it's about 320" He's confident. We write it down. After all he's a master at this stuff. The next few questions are fairly straight forward and Nikki and I reel of answers between us.
Question 9 comes along - "In which county is the Glastonbury festival held?" asks the quizmaster. Nikki's not sure, I'm thinking it's near Taunton somewhere but not sure...Ross says "Wiltshire" with a smug grin and no hesitation. We write it down.
The final question is easy enough and we complete the round. Time to mark the answers. We get Dean, the glass collector to mark our as we're serving. We get a fairly impressive 8 out of 10.
Which 2 did we get wrong? Yep, you guessed it. The two that Ross answered!!!
For the record there are on average 490 people on death row in Texas at any one time and Glastonbury is held in Somerset...which is where Taunton is funnily enough!!
Luckily for us Ross was not around for the rest of the quiz and Nikki and I did it alone. We did well and in the real world had we been playing we would have come second. I'm pleased to say I was proved right...there was a question on Wham! number one's!!!!
Jenny xx
Upon advising Ross that I'm a bit good at general knowledge and useless trivia, he declared he was the master at such things, or words to that effect. "who caused the start of the first world war then?" he asks me. I haven't a clue and tell him so. I try to advise him that in a pub quiz they are much more likely to ask how many number one's Wham! had...Ross disgaree's.
So along comes round one...basic general knowledge. 10 questions.
Question one is read out - "At any one time what is the average number of people on death row in Texas?" The quizmaster asks. Nikki and I look at each other in a pondering kind of way. Ross however states "I saw that in tv not long ago...it's about 320" He's confident. We write it down. After all he's a master at this stuff. The next few questions are fairly straight forward and Nikki and I reel of answers between us.
Question 9 comes along - "In which county is the Glastonbury festival held?" asks the quizmaster. Nikki's not sure, I'm thinking it's near Taunton somewhere but not sure...Ross says "Wiltshire" with a smug grin and no hesitation. We write it down.
The final question is easy enough and we complete the round. Time to mark the answers. We get Dean, the glass collector to mark our as we're serving. We get a fairly impressive 8 out of 10.
Which 2 did we get wrong? Yep, you guessed it. The two that Ross answered!!!
For the record there are on average 490 people on death row in Texas at any one time and Glastonbury is held in Somerset...which is where Taunton is funnily enough!!
Luckily for us Ross was not around for the rest of the quiz and Nikki and I did it alone. We did well and in the real world had we been playing we would have come second. I'm pleased to say I was proved right...there was a question on Wham! number one's!!!!
Jenny xx
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
A Black Day In West Lothian.
On Sunday evening we found out the police had found a young man's body in West Lothian. It seemed inevitable that it was going to be Rory Blackhall the 11 year old who had gone missing in the area on Thursday.
Yesterday the police confirmed that this was the case. Sadly today we found that his death was no accident and the police launched a murder enquiry.
I am sure I am not the only one who had been hoping this was simply a case of a boy skiving school and being too afraid to return home fearing the consequences. Unfortunatley this was not the case.
What his family must be feeling now I simply cannot pretend to know. Most parents have at some point felt that immediate panic when they lose sight of their child for even a few minutes. The panic you must feel when your child is missing for 3 days is beyond me. To then find out the unthinkable has happened...
As a citizen of West Lothian I can tell you that the shock and sadness is felt throughout. We live just a few miles from this family and the thought that this has happened so damn close to home is hard to comprehend.
5 year old started school last week, already he likes to walk with his Sister, normally I give tem a head start of 5 minutes and follow them in the car to make sure they get there alright. Today I took them to school in the car, I didn't want them to walk. I wasn't alone either. Mum's and Dad's who normally drop their kids off and go stayed for the bell, other kids who normally walk were taken by car. Irrational behaviour? Probably. It's unlikely that lightning will strike twice but then only a few years ago it was taken for granted that no-one would murder your child as long as they were with a friend. Then we had the terrible events in Soham when Ian Huntely and Maxine Carr changed that theory.
So far the police have not released much more information. As far as parents are concerned at the minute there is a killer on the loose somewhere. Until I know otherwise I will be a little more protective and I know others will be doing the same. I'd rather be safe than sorry.
My thoughts are with Rory's family and friends.
Jenny xx
Yesterday the police confirmed that this was the case. Sadly today we found that his death was no accident and the police launched a murder enquiry.
I am sure I am not the only one who had been hoping this was simply a case of a boy skiving school and being too afraid to return home fearing the consequences. Unfortunatley this was not the case.
What his family must be feeling now I simply cannot pretend to know. Most parents have at some point felt that immediate panic when they lose sight of their child for even a few minutes. The panic you must feel when your child is missing for 3 days is beyond me. To then find out the unthinkable has happened...
As a citizen of West Lothian I can tell you that the shock and sadness is felt throughout. We live just a few miles from this family and the thought that this has happened so damn close to home is hard to comprehend.
5 year old started school last week, already he likes to walk with his Sister, normally I give tem a head start of 5 minutes and follow them in the car to make sure they get there alright. Today I took them to school in the car, I didn't want them to walk. I wasn't alone either. Mum's and Dad's who normally drop their kids off and go stayed for the bell, other kids who normally walk were taken by car. Irrational behaviour? Probably. It's unlikely that lightning will strike twice but then only a few years ago it was taken for granted that no-one would murder your child as long as they were with a friend. Then we had the terrible events in Soham when Ian Huntely and Maxine Carr changed that theory.
So far the police have not released much more information. As far as parents are concerned at the minute there is a killer on the loose somewhere. Until I know otherwise I will be a little more protective and I know others will be doing the same. I'd rather be safe than sorry.
My thoughts are with Rory's family and friends.
Jenny xx
Saturday, August 20, 2005
On The Road Again....
In January this year we had 3 cars parked outside. My sporty job, the family car and Better Halves company 4x4.
Thinking there was no need for this situation we got rid of the family car and I traded in my sports car for a 4x4 of my own. So we became a 2 car family once more. It was all good.
However...
Better Half changed job and the company car was no more. All of a sudden we were a one car family and christ it has been a hassle! I live about 8 miles outside of Edinburgh in a village and it's not the best place on earth to be when you don't have a car all day. Better Half has been taking our sole remaining vehicle to work all day leaving me (during the kids holiday's I might add) without wheels.
I am now pleased to report that I am back in business! Better Half has got a new car and we are again a 2 car family! Of course seeing as how he got a new car I wanted one as well and so the 4x4 we currently have is today being replaced with a new 4x4 for me! So it's goodbye to my lovely Japanese imported turbo diesel, with japanese Sat Nav and Japanese TV - none of which I can understand and hello to my new black 4x4 with UK Sat Nav, DVD player and Leather Seats.
Happy? I think I am! Keeping it for any decent length of time? I intend to but we'll see! We've had 10 cars in 5 years!
Oh and happy days also to my wee sis who has traded in her little 1 litre Daewoo (Dad used to say he had had Lawnmowers with more power!!) for a nice shiny new Peugeot.
What my Dad would think about us spending our inheritance on cars I don't know - he'd probably be fairly happy. Dad was the sort that liked to get a new car himself...I can guarantee that if he'd been here and my sister, better half and I were all buying new cars he'd soon have followed suit...with that in mind I can only wonder how long it will be before Mum is trading in her Tony Toyota for a new model.
Jenny xx
Thinking there was no need for this situation we got rid of the family car and I traded in my sports car for a 4x4 of my own. So we became a 2 car family once more. It was all good.
However...
Better Half changed job and the company car was no more. All of a sudden we were a one car family and christ it has been a hassle! I live about 8 miles outside of Edinburgh in a village and it's not the best place on earth to be when you don't have a car all day. Better Half has been taking our sole remaining vehicle to work all day leaving me (during the kids holiday's I might add) without wheels.
I am now pleased to report that I am back in business! Better Half has got a new car and we are again a 2 car family! Of course seeing as how he got a new car I wanted one as well and so the 4x4 we currently have is today being replaced with a new 4x4 for me! So it's goodbye to my lovely Japanese imported turbo diesel, with japanese Sat Nav and Japanese TV - none of which I can understand and hello to my new black 4x4 with UK Sat Nav, DVD player and Leather Seats.
Happy? I think I am! Keeping it for any decent length of time? I intend to but we'll see! We've had 10 cars in 5 years!
Oh and happy days also to my wee sis who has traded in her little 1 litre Daewoo (Dad used to say he had had Lawnmowers with more power!!) for a nice shiny new Peugeot.
What my Dad would think about us spending our inheritance on cars I don't know - he'd probably be fairly happy. Dad was the sort that liked to get a new car himself...I can guarantee that if he'd been here and my sister, better half and I were all buying new cars he'd soon have followed suit...with that in mind I can only wonder how long it will be before Mum is trading in her Tony Toyota for a new model.
Jenny xx
Another One Bites The Dust...
I attended my second funeral of the year yesterday. Not bad going considering my attendance rates at funeral's last year!
A family we have known for a good few years lost their leader yesterday when Husband and Dad Geo died just 10 weeks after finding out he had cancer.
He was a nice man and it is really sad that he had to end his life suffering the way he did. It also a damn shame that his family had to watch him waste away like that in pain. No-one deserves to be put through that. We wouldn't let it happen to a dog, yet law dictates that we should allow ourselves and our loved one's to suffer even when all hope is lost. That can't right.
Cancer is a horrible illness that will affect one in three of the British population at some time in their lives. It is an indiscriminate illness which picks it's victims at random. Geo had very little in the way of symptoms that he was carrying this plague in him. They say that there are things we can do to lessen our chances of having cancer. Eat healthily, stop smoking and drinking and lead an active life. Tell that to the family of my Brother in Law. Bridget, his Mother, is now dead as a result of Cancer. She never smoked in her life, very rarely drunk if at all, kept her weight at a healthy level and had an active life.
Yesterday they told women that if we eat chips just once a week or risk of getting breast cancer rises by 27%. My personal response? Bullshit.
They would be better off trying to find the cure for this disease than wasting millions telling us not to eat chips once a week. I still cannot believe that we can send man to the moon, make cloned babies, catch mass murderers through a cigarette end left at a crime scene but we still cannot find a really effective answer to cancer.
Sadly until we do many more families will have to go through the same pain watching their relatives try and fight this horrible disease. I pray (selfishly) that one of these families is not mine and I pray that it is not yours either.
R.I.P Geo.
Jenny xx
A family we have known for a good few years lost their leader yesterday when Husband and Dad Geo died just 10 weeks after finding out he had cancer.
He was a nice man and it is really sad that he had to end his life suffering the way he did. It also a damn shame that his family had to watch him waste away like that in pain. No-one deserves to be put through that. We wouldn't let it happen to a dog, yet law dictates that we should allow ourselves and our loved one's to suffer even when all hope is lost. That can't right.
Cancer is a horrible illness that will affect one in three of the British population at some time in their lives. It is an indiscriminate illness which picks it's victims at random. Geo had very little in the way of symptoms that he was carrying this plague in him. They say that there are things we can do to lessen our chances of having cancer. Eat healthily, stop smoking and drinking and lead an active life. Tell that to the family of my Brother in Law. Bridget, his Mother, is now dead as a result of Cancer. She never smoked in her life, very rarely drunk if at all, kept her weight at a healthy level and had an active life.
Yesterday they told women that if we eat chips just once a week or risk of getting breast cancer rises by 27%. My personal response? Bullshit.
They would be better off trying to find the cure for this disease than wasting millions telling us not to eat chips once a week. I still cannot believe that we can send man to the moon, make cloned babies, catch mass murderers through a cigarette end left at a crime scene but we still cannot find a really effective answer to cancer.
Sadly until we do many more families will have to go through the same pain watching their relatives try and fight this horrible disease. I pray (selfishly) that one of these families is not mine and I pray that it is not yours either.
R.I.P Geo.
Jenny xx
Friday, August 19, 2005
Happy and Sad...
Whilst I was glad to hear the ringing of the school bell on Tuesday, I was also a little sad.
The reason for this was that 5 year old started school. My little baby boy became a big school boy.
Off he went in shirt, tie, big boy's trousers and blazer with a school bag almost as big as he is to join the ranks at the local primary.
There were 28 new Primary One's going in this year and the playground heaving with Mum's & Dad's, Granny's, Grandad's and Auntie's all armed with Camera's and Video Camera's to capture their respective loved one's first day at school for prosperity.
Here's one from our family album!
All 28 of them lined up when the bell went and their new teacher came to meet them and escort them into school. "Say goodbye to your Mum's and Dad's" She said and there was a collective shout of "Bye Mum, Bye Dad" from them all before they all climbed the stairs to begin their first day. Each of them calmly walking into school without so much as a backward glance leaving their Mum's reaching for the hankies!!
5 year old has been desperate to be a big school boy since his best friend started last August so he seemed fair chuffed to be getting his wish at last. I was a little choked up to see him in the uniform but more choked up about the fact that neither his Grandad nor his Gran Isa were still around to see him. Without doubt they would have both been there, camera's in hand, proud as punch! Still he had Mum, Dad, Gran, Auntie Gill and his cousins all waving him off!
He's now finished his first week and seems to still be enjoying it all but of course it's still a novelty...I wonder how they'd feel if they had any concept of time yet and realised they had to go to school for at least the next 11 years!!
Mind you 5 year old seems to have cracked it...there are 9 boys in the class and 19 girls so he'll be spoiled for choice when he gets a bit older!!
Jenny xx
The reason for this was that 5 year old started school. My little baby boy became a big school boy.
Off he went in shirt, tie, big boy's trousers and blazer with a school bag almost as big as he is to join the ranks at the local primary.
There were 28 new Primary One's going in this year and the playground heaving with Mum's & Dad's, Granny's, Grandad's and Auntie's all armed with Camera's and Video Camera's to capture their respective loved one's first day at school for prosperity.
Here's one from our family album!
All 28 of them lined up when the bell went and their new teacher came to meet them and escort them into school. "Say goodbye to your Mum's and Dad's" She said and there was a collective shout of "Bye Mum, Bye Dad" from them all before they all climbed the stairs to begin their first day. Each of them calmly walking into school without so much as a backward glance leaving their Mum's reaching for the hankies!!
5 year old has been desperate to be a big school boy since his best friend started last August so he seemed fair chuffed to be getting his wish at last. I was a little choked up to see him in the uniform but more choked up about the fact that neither his Grandad nor his Gran Isa were still around to see him. Without doubt they would have both been there, camera's in hand, proud as punch! Still he had Mum, Dad, Gran, Auntie Gill and his cousins all waving him off!
He's now finished his first week and seems to still be enjoying it all but of course it's still a novelty...I wonder how they'd feel if they had any concept of time yet and realised they had to go to school for at least the next 11 years!!
Mind you 5 year old seems to have cracked it...there are 9 boys in the class and 19 girls so he'll be spoiled for choice when he gets a bit older!!
Jenny xx
Back To School
It lasted 7 weeks and 1 day in my neck of the woods.
It involved tears, tantrums, juggling of schedules, many a trip to the cinema, the beach and various other Landmarks. It involved spending too much money and inevitably a trip to Blackpool.
It was the school summer holidays.
But Hurrah for they are now over!!! At 8.50am on Tuesday 16th August the Mother's of Kirknewton (and many other places no doubt!!) breathed a collective sigh of relief as the school bell rang.
Jenny xx
It involved tears, tantrums, juggling of schedules, many a trip to the cinema, the beach and various other Landmarks. It involved spending too much money and inevitably a trip to Blackpool.
It was the school summer holidays.
But Hurrah for they are now over!!! At 8.50am on Tuesday 16th August the Mother's of Kirknewton (and many other places no doubt!!) breathed a collective sigh of relief as the school bell rang.
Jenny xx
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Back From Wherever...
Jeez. Haven't been on here for a while. Not that you'd have noticed unless you read this regularly. Haven't felt the need to write anything in the last week or so but I'm back now and gearing up to blog away and make up for lost time.
Exactly what I'll be writing about is as yet a mystery to me but there have been a few events in recent days that should be logged (or is that blogged??) and exactly when I will begin to write them up is also a mystery. Right now I can't be arsed filling in the gaps of last week but it's hugely possible that I might just do some typing tonight.
Might see ya then.
Jenny xx
Exactly what I'll be writing about is as yet a mystery to me but there have been a few events in recent days that should be logged (or is that blogged??) and exactly when I will begin to write them up is also a mystery. Right now I can't be arsed filling in the gaps of last week but it's hugely possible that I might just do some typing tonight.
Might see ya then.
Jenny xx
Monday, August 08, 2005
Watched The Video...
Sat down with 5 year old and 8 year old last night and watched the video of my Tree performance for Scottish Television back in 1985.
Absolute class. The kids were in hysterics as the close up of me came on the screen. They were rolling around laughing. I must admit I got the giggles a bit myself. One thing became totally apparent to me while watching though...5 year old doesn't half look like his Mum!
Better was to come though when I found a video marked "camcorder". We put it on and spent the next hour ending ourselves as various family gatherings appeared on screen. My wedding, 8 year old as a newborn, my Niece's first birthday, 8 year old's first birthday, and various "taken for the hell of it" moments in between.
The main reason the kids found this funny was looking at what I and my sister were wearing and our hairstyles. Given this tape is only 9 years old, I am disgusted at the state of us both. My hair is scarliy short and my Sister's hair resembles an old english sheepdog! Thank god we've found straighteners! There can be no excuse though for wearing white trousers with heeled shoes...ever! Still we weren't alone, everyone looked dodgy in the video.
At least it gave the kids a good laugh.
On a more subdued note, it was a strange experience watching it again. It's the first time I've seen my Dad in the flesh if you like or heard his voice since he died. It was strangely calming and made it seem like he'd never gone at all. There is also footage of my Sister's Mother-In-Law who died just 7 months before Dad. She looks so healthy and to hear her distintive Irish lilt on the tape again was nice.
They may be embarrasssing these old videos but they do hold a lot of memories and it was nice to see it.
I'll away and put it back for another decade now!
Jenny xx
Absolute class. The kids were in hysterics as the close up of me came on the screen. They were rolling around laughing. I must admit I got the giggles a bit myself. One thing became totally apparent to me while watching though...5 year old doesn't half look like his Mum!
Better was to come though when I found a video marked "camcorder". We put it on and spent the next hour ending ourselves as various family gatherings appeared on screen. My wedding, 8 year old as a newborn, my Niece's first birthday, 8 year old's first birthday, and various "taken for the hell of it" moments in between.
The main reason the kids found this funny was looking at what I and my sister were wearing and our hairstyles. Given this tape is only 9 years old, I am disgusted at the state of us both. My hair is scarliy short and my Sister's hair resembles an old english sheepdog! Thank god we've found straighteners! There can be no excuse though for wearing white trousers with heeled shoes...ever! Still we weren't alone, everyone looked dodgy in the video.
At least it gave the kids a good laugh.
On a more subdued note, it was a strange experience watching it again. It's the first time I've seen my Dad in the flesh if you like or heard his voice since he died. It was strangely calming and made it seem like he'd never gone at all. There is also footage of my Sister's Mother-In-Law who died just 7 months before Dad. She looks so healthy and to hear her distintive Irish lilt on the tape again was nice.
They may be embarrasssing these old videos but they do hold a lot of memories and it was nice to see it.
I'll away and put it back for another decade now!
Jenny xx
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Confused Dot Com
If you live outside the UK you may well haev no idea what the hell I'm talking about...but there is an advert here for a Car Insurance Broker called Confused.com.
The advert is highly annoying and features a man shouting loudly how "looking for cheaper car insurance drives him mad" and saying "Confused dot com" a lot in a very annoying manner.
Turns out that this man is my Uncle's Cousin...bloody hell.
Now how I can't be related to a man who is related to Robbie Williams I don't know...instead I am related to a man who is related to the mosty annoying thing on Tv after Crazy Fucking Frog!! Typical.
Of course things are different if you're a child. 8 year old loves the advert, knows it almost word for word and is thoroughly chuffed that her Great Uncle is related to the man in the advert. She's telling all her friends and they think it's like waaay coool.
I wonder how cool 8 year old and her friends will find me when they learn I too have been a Tv star. I'm off to rake out the video of me appearing in a school's programme. I get a big close up as well that's definitely Waaay coool. I do the best impression of a tree in school uniform you've ever seen.
Yes you did read that right. I was performing a "dance, mime scene" to classical music in school uniform. My role was that of a tree in a forest which closes in around innocent young children wandering along through a forrest! My school was a big highlight in the STV Schools Programme schedule of Autumn 1985. No jokes please about wooden acting!
Of course it's not my only bruch with fame whilst at school. I have also been seen by an audience of Millions on Tv when I took part in the Commonwealth Games opening ceremony in 1986. I was seen dancing in the stadium as part of a big choreographed number and running through the streets of Edinburgh before hand!
Now how cool will that be to 8 year old I wonder...I imagine it will be waaay uncooool!!
Jenny xx
The advert is highly annoying and features a man shouting loudly how "looking for cheaper car insurance drives him mad" and saying "Confused dot com" a lot in a very annoying manner.
Turns out that this man is my Uncle's Cousin...bloody hell.
Now how I can't be related to a man who is related to Robbie Williams I don't know...instead I am related to a man who is related to the mosty annoying thing on Tv after Crazy Fucking Frog!! Typical.
Of course things are different if you're a child. 8 year old loves the advert, knows it almost word for word and is thoroughly chuffed that her Great Uncle is related to the man in the advert. She's telling all her friends and they think it's like waaay coool.
I wonder how cool 8 year old and her friends will find me when they learn I too have been a Tv star. I'm off to rake out the video of me appearing in a school's programme. I get a big close up as well that's definitely Waaay coool. I do the best impression of a tree in school uniform you've ever seen.
Yes you did read that right. I was performing a "dance, mime scene" to classical music in school uniform. My role was that of a tree in a forest which closes in around innocent young children wandering along through a forrest! My school was a big highlight in the STV Schools Programme schedule of Autumn 1985. No jokes please about wooden acting!
Of course it's not my only bruch with fame whilst at school. I have also been seen by an audience of Millions on Tv when I took part in the Commonwealth Games opening ceremony in 1986. I was seen dancing in the stadium as part of a big choreographed number and running through the streets of Edinburgh before hand!
Now how cool will that be to 8 year old I wonder...I imagine it will be waaay uncooool!!
Jenny xx
Friday, August 05, 2005
New Lifestyle Update...
I was you may recall going to start my new healthy eating regime this past Monday. That didn't happen - there is a good reason though. I had recently done a big shop so the cupboards and fridge were teeming with "bad" foods and it would be a waste not to have polished them off before beginning this new adventure!
However, I did pop along to Tesco on Wednesday night to fill up the trolley with all the "good" foods Dr Gillian says I need to be eating. I whizzed past the biscuits, cheesecakes, crisps and wine and filled the trolley with sweet pototoes, leeks, carrots and butternut squash and £100 later headed home.
My fridge looks fantastic - packed to the gunnels with fresh veggies.
Yesterday I began the new eating thing in earnest. Breakfast was a fruit smoothie, Lunch was homemade organic lentil and carrot soup with lettuce wraps and dinner was vegetable chilli casserole and wholegrain rice, with a litre and a half of water for good measure...sound lovely eh? To be honest it's a shit load different from a normal days diet - no breakfast, no lunch and pasta for dinner with crisps in between!
I took the recommended vitamins - B complex, Iron supplement, multivitamin, enchinea, Milk thistle, starflower oil and liquid Aloe juice. I'm sure I heard myself rattle a few times as I was walking along!
So far so good though - I managed to get through day one with no crisps or diet Irn Bru!
Apparently I need to keep it up for 3 months then alter the plan to bring in more normal foods. I'm sure it will be worth it in the end.
One downside I have noticed though...I could now pee for Scotland.
Jenny xx
However, I did pop along to Tesco on Wednesday night to fill up the trolley with all the "good" foods Dr Gillian says I need to be eating. I whizzed past the biscuits, cheesecakes, crisps and wine and filled the trolley with sweet pototoes, leeks, carrots and butternut squash and £100 later headed home.
My fridge looks fantastic - packed to the gunnels with fresh veggies.
Yesterday I began the new eating thing in earnest. Breakfast was a fruit smoothie, Lunch was homemade organic lentil and carrot soup with lettuce wraps and dinner was vegetable chilli casserole and wholegrain rice, with a litre and a half of water for good measure...sound lovely eh? To be honest it's a shit load different from a normal days diet - no breakfast, no lunch and pasta for dinner with crisps in between!
I took the recommended vitamins - B complex, Iron supplement, multivitamin, enchinea, Milk thistle, starflower oil and liquid Aloe juice. I'm sure I heard myself rattle a few times as I was walking along!
So far so good though - I managed to get through day one with no crisps or diet Irn Bru!
Apparently I need to keep it up for 3 months then alter the plan to bring in more normal foods. I'm sure it will be worth it in the end.
One downside I have noticed though...I could now pee for Scotland.
Jenny xx
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Age over Youth...
There may be a moral in this for people lke me who work in an establishment teeming with old farts!!
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that she's lost.
Wandering about, she notices a leopard heading rapidly in her direction with the intention of having lunch.The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to chew onthe bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard isabout to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here."
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a lookof terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!" says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending she hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says: "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
Moral of this story..Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience!
Jenny xx
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that she's lost.
Wandering about, she notices a leopard heading rapidly in her direction with the intention of having lunch.The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to chew onthe bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard isabout to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here."
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a lookof terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!" says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending she hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says: "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
Moral of this story..Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience!
Jenny xx
Inner Peace...
Got this in an E mail a few days ago...might give it a try.
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Oprah, I have finally found inner peace.Oprah proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished. There was plenty and so before leaving the house this morning, I made a point of finishing of the things I had started…
I finished off a bottle of Vodka, and the bottle of Chardonnay in the fridge, I also finished the bottle of Baileys, and a bottle of Merlot, I finished the Hagen Daaz in the freezer, a packet of Doritos I had left half eaten. I then finished of my Valium supply and my Diazepam supplies. Finally I finished off the cheesecake.
You have no idea how good I feel.
So it seems it is true that finishing off all those things you started can bring you inner peace.
Jenny xx
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Oprah, I have finally found inner peace.Oprah proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished. There was plenty and so before leaving the house this morning, I made a point of finishing of the things I had started…
I finished off a bottle of Vodka, and the bottle of Chardonnay in the fridge, I also finished the bottle of Baileys, and a bottle of Merlot, I finished the Hagen Daaz in the freezer, a packet of Doritos I had left half eaten. I then finished of my Valium supply and my Diazepam supplies. Finally I finished off the cheesecake.
You have no idea how good I feel.
So it seems it is true that finishing off all those things you started can bring you inner peace.
Jenny xx
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