Seems to be the talk of the Bowling Club at the moment!
Rumours are rife that she has got herself a boyfriend and I suppose in a way she has if you put a space between the words boy and friend.
Mum has a group of friends that she socialises with and amongst that group there is a man who like Mum is on his own following the death of his wife. I used to think that once you got past a certain age it was possible to hang around with a man without people automatically assuming you were together. It appears this is not the case!
Some of Mum's other friends who are not part of the immediate group have convinced themselves and anyone else who'll listen that there's a serious relationship in development. I think they can hear wedding bells and knowing how gossip can spread I can only assume that in a few weeks time my Mother will be pregnant!!
I find the whole scenario amusing. Mum on the other hand is more of a worrier. She doesn't like people talking about her. I suppose for nearly 40 years she was able to hide behind my Dad whenever things got rough and he wasn't one to stand back and say nothing! Both my Sis and I have told her not to be daft...let 'em all think what they like is our feelings!
For the record, Mum and the man in question are good friends. He escorts her to club functions and she has helped him measure his curtain lengths in his new house. Occaisonally they dance together and he will buy her a drink at the bar...shocking ain't it?
As far as I'm concerned anyone who has known my Mum and Dad as a couple for any decent length of time or indeed anyone who saw what the aftermath of my Dad's death did to her will realise that my Dad meant the whole world to my Mum, he was and is the only man she ever loved. That said let's remember that life does indeed go on and my Mum is a 54 year old woman with (god willing) plenty of life left in her. In the last few months she has tranformed from a woman clouded with grief to a woman full of life and that is a good thing as far as I'm concerned. She will never get over losing my Dad but if someone else's companionship is helping put a smile on her face then so be it!
I loved my Dad more than any other man on the planet. He was unique, handsome, funny, intelligent and the best Dad anyone could have wished for. No one will ever take his place in my heart but of course there will be room made for anyone who makes my Mum happy.
If she chooses to take her friendship further then I'll back her all the way. After all she , my sister and I all know the hard way that life is too short not to be happy.
Whatever happens, be happy Mum.
Jenny xx
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Friday, September 23, 2005
Darn Those Needles...
As you may know I'm currently on a course of injections to boost my B12 supply. Today I had injection number 3. The last two have been deposited in my ass, one on either side, and were kind of painful especially when I sat down!
Today though I saw the nurse who decided to stick number 3 in my upper arm. I took 5 year old along for the ride and while I winced and screwed up my face in pain he lay on the table in the nurses room laughing at me. Nice.
It was a damn sight more painful getting the jag in the arm. My arm feels like lead just now and I can't raise it above elbow height without making strange faces and wanting to moan out loud.
Now not being able to use my arm tonight meant I would be useless behind the bar so I'm not at work which is a shame because if your going to be off work you should use the time to get pissed and go out instead of sitting watching tv holding your throbbing arm.
I need to cheer myself up. I'm off to e bay to buy things I do not need nor want but as painkillers have not helped I am going to see if retail therapy will!
Have a nice evening.
Jenny xx
Today though I saw the nurse who decided to stick number 3 in my upper arm. I took 5 year old along for the ride and while I winced and screwed up my face in pain he lay on the table in the nurses room laughing at me. Nice.
It was a damn sight more painful getting the jag in the arm. My arm feels like lead just now and I can't raise it above elbow height without making strange faces and wanting to moan out loud.
Now not being able to use my arm tonight meant I would be useless behind the bar so I'm not at work which is a shame because if your going to be off work you should use the time to get pissed and go out instead of sitting watching tv holding your throbbing arm.
I need to cheer myself up. I'm off to e bay to buy things I do not need nor want but as painkillers have not helped I am going to see if retail therapy will!
Have a nice evening.
Jenny xx
Friday, September 16, 2005
I'm Not Going Mad...
I used to be hyperactive. I mean properly hyperactive. As a baby I slept for one hour out of 24 and once on my feet I would spend all night walking round my parent's coffee table over and over again. God bless my poor folks it must have been an absolute nightmare. It's bad enough having a new baby to deal with without it being loopy like I was.
All through childhood I was a night person...always up late, living on little sleep. Once I started working I loved doing the night shifts and often had only a few hours kip each day. I always had bags of energy and was always up to something, going somewhere or planning something.
Then I hit 26 and things began to change. Following the birth of 5 year old my body decided to change the way it worked. Gone were the days of boundless energy and in came tiredness like I'd never had in my life. I could sleep for 15 hours a night and still be tired a few hours later. I was often freezing cold and I began to get headaches which would last for days on end.
The Doc's diagnosed depression and treated me for such but it made no difference. In any event I didn't feel depressed just bloody tired. 18 long months later I was told I didn't have depression I had hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid).
There's a barrel load of symtoms that go along with this illness...lethargy, weight gain, headaches, muscular aches, cold extremities, dizzyness, period troubles and many, many more. I have them all. Luckily once I begun treatment the tiredness eased off and the periods are now gone, the rest of it I put up with still but to a lower degree.
Recently though I noticed another wierd thing happening. The tiredness came back, the headaches became worse and instead of always having freezing feet and hands they now altered between freezing cold and boiling hot. Most worrying of all though was that I began to lose feeling in my feet and legs, and I noticed that my arms would turn purple. I also realised that I was getting pins and needles at least 7 times a day and that my hands and feet were constantly tingiling.
The Doc ran blood tests and we awaited the results. When they came back we were baffled. Everything was fine. She had ruled out neurological problems, diabetes, my Thyroid was ok, I wasn't lacking in Iron...it seemed a mystery.
She decided to run more bloods explaining she wanted to check my vitamin levels and folate levels. Today I got a call from her to say I am vitamin B12 deficient.
There are 2 reasons for the deficiency apparently, either you just don't eat enough foods that contain it or your body doesn't absorb it properly. Now given B12 is only found in animal products and especially red meat I reckon my reason will be the former. In fact when I told the Doc my diet consisted of pasta, tomatoes, crisps and ice lollies she was less than amused! I haven't eaten red meat since I was 11 years old although I do occasionally eat chicken and fish but apparently that doesn't cut the mustard in the B12 stakes. The Doc was kind enough to realise that despite the best thing being that I return to eating steaks it was not going to be an option for me. She didn't pressure me but understood it was a choice I had made over 20 years ago and there was no going back. The very thought makes my stomach turn.
So at last I have a reason for my new wierd symptoms. Funnily enough people with Thyroid conditions are more prone to B12 deficencies....now there's a shock! I think people thought I was making my symptoms up...I actually thought for a moment maybe I was going mad but I'm not. For a change!
Anyway I now have to get B12 injected into my bum 5 times in the next 2 weeks and then every 3 months for life...things moved kind of fast in this department. I got the call from the Doc at 12pm today and have picked up my prescription and have just returned from having my first prick in the arse!! My bum is now bloody sore but not to worry, if it means no more pins and needles then I'm happy.
Doc advised me to rest today after the injection to avoid bruising and to lessen any reactions I may get. Fat bloody chance I'm working tonight at the club!!
And so I leave you to sit on my sore bum until I leave to start pulling pints!
Jenny xx
All through childhood I was a night person...always up late, living on little sleep. Once I started working I loved doing the night shifts and often had only a few hours kip each day. I always had bags of energy and was always up to something, going somewhere or planning something.
Then I hit 26 and things began to change. Following the birth of 5 year old my body decided to change the way it worked. Gone were the days of boundless energy and in came tiredness like I'd never had in my life. I could sleep for 15 hours a night and still be tired a few hours later. I was often freezing cold and I began to get headaches which would last for days on end.
The Doc's diagnosed depression and treated me for such but it made no difference. In any event I didn't feel depressed just bloody tired. 18 long months later I was told I didn't have depression I had hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid).
There's a barrel load of symtoms that go along with this illness...lethargy, weight gain, headaches, muscular aches, cold extremities, dizzyness, period troubles and many, many more. I have them all. Luckily once I begun treatment the tiredness eased off and the periods are now gone, the rest of it I put up with still but to a lower degree.
Recently though I noticed another wierd thing happening. The tiredness came back, the headaches became worse and instead of always having freezing feet and hands they now altered between freezing cold and boiling hot. Most worrying of all though was that I began to lose feeling in my feet and legs, and I noticed that my arms would turn purple. I also realised that I was getting pins and needles at least 7 times a day and that my hands and feet were constantly tingiling.
The Doc ran blood tests and we awaited the results. When they came back we were baffled. Everything was fine. She had ruled out neurological problems, diabetes, my Thyroid was ok, I wasn't lacking in Iron...it seemed a mystery.
She decided to run more bloods explaining she wanted to check my vitamin levels and folate levels. Today I got a call from her to say I am vitamin B12 deficient.
There are 2 reasons for the deficiency apparently, either you just don't eat enough foods that contain it or your body doesn't absorb it properly. Now given B12 is only found in animal products and especially red meat I reckon my reason will be the former. In fact when I told the Doc my diet consisted of pasta, tomatoes, crisps and ice lollies she was less than amused! I haven't eaten red meat since I was 11 years old although I do occasionally eat chicken and fish but apparently that doesn't cut the mustard in the B12 stakes. The Doc was kind enough to realise that despite the best thing being that I return to eating steaks it was not going to be an option for me. She didn't pressure me but understood it was a choice I had made over 20 years ago and there was no going back. The very thought makes my stomach turn.
So at last I have a reason for my new wierd symptoms. Funnily enough people with Thyroid conditions are more prone to B12 deficencies....now there's a shock! I think people thought I was making my symptoms up...I actually thought for a moment maybe I was going mad but I'm not. For a change!
Anyway I now have to get B12 injected into my bum 5 times in the next 2 weeks and then every 3 months for life...things moved kind of fast in this department. I got the call from the Doc at 12pm today and have picked up my prescription and have just returned from having my first prick in the arse!! My bum is now bloody sore but not to worry, if it means no more pins and needles then I'm happy.
Doc advised me to rest today after the injection to avoid bruising and to lessen any reactions I may get. Fat bloody chance I'm working tonight at the club!!
And so I leave you to sit on my sore bum until I leave to start pulling pints!
Jenny xx
Time For A Rant...
There I was last night sitting here checking my e-mails and sending a few when all of a sudden I get chucked out of it. Wierd. So I log back in, or at least try to. Turns out my e-mail address has been locked. Nice one.
Now as you do I went to the help page on-line to try and find out what is going on and how to fix it. It was about as much use as a chocolate teapot. The damn help page asks you to e mail them telling them what the problem is. You see the difficulty I might have doing that don't you?
So I resort to the telephone helpline (daylight robbery at 50p per minute) and I am met by an Asian woman who tells me to dial a different number. So I do and am met by another Asian woman telling me the same thing, ring another number. So I do. To cut the story short simply repeat the Asian woman and call another number thing by 7.
Eventually I get through to an Asian man who tells me to send an e-mail. "What fucking part of I can't get into the e-mail to send you one do you not understand?" The penny drops and he directs me to a help page where I can send a direct e-mail.
He advises me my e-mail is not suspended temporarily for maintenance so I must have breached the terms and conditions of use. "Try to remember the last e-mail you sent...it would have been that one that caused the lock". I think back. I remember it clearly. It was a message to my mate asking her how the kids and her Husband was. Here it is in full...
Hey you,
long time no speak. How's Chris and the kids? Hope everyone is doing ok. Drop me a line.
Jenny xx
Now it seems fairly innocent to me but obviously to Wanadoo it read something like...
Hey Osama,
Long time since you saw any action man, How's the plans for bombing the western world into oblivion coming along, hope it's all going to plan. Let me know when you need me to help.
Jenny xx
I mean honestly...you can see it, "Bloody hell it's a coded message from Jenny in Scotland, she's got terrorist links quick shut her account down". I fully expect the anti-terrorist squad at the door any minute, or maybe the paedophile police or drugs squad.
So if Mr Asian technical help man is to be believed I am not allowed to use my e mail account to send inoocent messages to friends across the globe. It is of course perfectly acceptable to send porn attachments, humour taking the piss out of all minorities, religions and cultures but a simple "hello, how's you?" is just unacceptable.
Fuck off.
So I've sent the direct e mail and await a response. Right now I hate fucking Wanadoo but what I hate more is the fact that every bloody time I need to ring them I get moved from one place to another but what I hate even more is the fact that everytime I speak to someone they are bloody Asian. I am assured there call centres are in England. If that's the case everyone in England must be Asian because it's not just Wanadoo it's every bloody place you ring.
Let me have another rant while I'm at it...I have worked in contact centres in various forms for nearly all my adult life. I have worked at all levels from the bottom to the top. It's not rocket science, you need only a few basic elements. You should be able to listen, be able to understand and be able to speak. It helps if you can type while doing the others as well but it's not always necessary.
The key to a sucessful contact centre is having staff who can perform these basic tasks while remaining polite. Why then do so many companies insist on hiring people who have just got off the asylum boat?? Seriously half of them can't speak English never mind understand it. Don't even get me started on this trend of moving contact centres to India and the like. They only do this because these people will work for a packet of monkey nuts and a glass of clean water. I just need to say stop it. I want to speak to someone who speaks my language. I don't want to haev to learn Urdu of whatever the fuck they speak.
End of rant.
Phew.
Jenny xx
Now as you do I went to the help page on-line to try and find out what is going on and how to fix it. It was about as much use as a chocolate teapot. The damn help page asks you to e mail them telling them what the problem is. You see the difficulty I might have doing that don't you?
So I resort to the telephone helpline (daylight robbery at 50p per minute) and I am met by an Asian woman who tells me to dial a different number. So I do and am met by another Asian woman telling me the same thing, ring another number. So I do. To cut the story short simply repeat the Asian woman and call another number thing by 7.
Eventually I get through to an Asian man who tells me to send an e-mail. "What fucking part of I can't get into the e-mail to send you one do you not understand?" The penny drops and he directs me to a help page where I can send a direct e-mail.
He advises me my e-mail is not suspended temporarily for maintenance so I must have breached the terms and conditions of use. "Try to remember the last e-mail you sent...it would have been that one that caused the lock". I think back. I remember it clearly. It was a message to my mate asking her how the kids and her Husband was. Here it is in full...
Hey you,
long time no speak. How's Chris and the kids? Hope everyone is doing ok. Drop me a line.
Jenny xx
Now it seems fairly innocent to me but obviously to Wanadoo it read something like...
Hey Osama,
Long time since you saw any action man, How's the plans for bombing the western world into oblivion coming along, hope it's all going to plan. Let me know when you need me to help.
Jenny xx
I mean honestly...you can see it, "Bloody hell it's a coded message from Jenny in Scotland, she's got terrorist links quick shut her account down". I fully expect the anti-terrorist squad at the door any minute, or maybe the paedophile police or drugs squad.
So if Mr Asian technical help man is to be believed I am not allowed to use my e mail account to send inoocent messages to friends across the globe. It is of course perfectly acceptable to send porn attachments, humour taking the piss out of all minorities, religions and cultures but a simple "hello, how's you?" is just unacceptable.
Fuck off.
So I've sent the direct e mail and await a response. Right now I hate fucking Wanadoo but what I hate more is the fact that every bloody time I need to ring them I get moved from one place to another but what I hate even more is the fact that everytime I speak to someone they are bloody Asian. I am assured there call centres are in England. If that's the case everyone in England must be Asian because it's not just Wanadoo it's every bloody place you ring.
Let me have another rant while I'm at it...I have worked in contact centres in various forms for nearly all my adult life. I have worked at all levels from the bottom to the top. It's not rocket science, you need only a few basic elements. You should be able to listen, be able to understand and be able to speak. It helps if you can type while doing the others as well but it's not always necessary.
The key to a sucessful contact centre is having staff who can perform these basic tasks while remaining polite. Why then do so many companies insist on hiring people who have just got off the asylum boat?? Seriously half of them can't speak English never mind understand it. Don't even get me started on this trend of moving contact centres to India and the like. They only do this because these people will work for a packet of monkey nuts and a glass of clean water. I just need to say stop it. I want to speak to someone who speaks my language. I don't want to haev to learn Urdu of whatever the fuck they speak.
End of rant.
Phew.
Jenny xx
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Alton Towers or Bust...
It's the September weekend here in Edinburgh this weekend. A sort of made up public holiday. The kids are off school until Wednesday so we figured we'd do something. Now normal procedure during the september weekend is to pack your bags - families and pensioner's alike and head to Blackpool but not for us. I've had enough of Blackpool for the time being and anyway this weekend every coach in Lothian will be filled and heading that way. Blackpool's hotel's will be full of pensioner's on their annual trip away with their various clubs and societies and the prom will be full of Burberry wearing ned's and Dad's in afro wigs.
So instead we're heading to Alton Towers, it's the best time to go cause there will be hardly any English there. Nothing against them it's just that there are too damn many of them and they make the queues to long!
Of course as usual with my family it's not just me and my other 3 that are going. The rest of the tribe are coming along as well...we're like a trade union us lot...one out, all out.
So come Sunday I'll be riding Rita (pardon the expression) and plunging to Oblivion amongst other things.
Jenny xx
So instead we're heading to Alton Towers, it's the best time to go cause there will be hardly any English there. Nothing against them it's just that there are too damn many of them and they make the queues to long!
Of course as usual with my family it's not just me and my other 3 that are going. The rest of the tribe are coming along as well...we're like a trade union us lot...one out, all out.
So come Sunday I'll be riding Rita (pardon the expression) and plunging to Oblivion amongst other things.
Jenny xx
Monday, September 12, 2005
Got Me A New Status Symbol...
I like to have things a wee bit different from other people. Sadly I can't afford a shiny new Aston Martin DB9 or similar so have to make so with my new Honda C-RV. However I did allow myself the luxury of a few extra grand on having a leather interior, heated seats, dvd player, sat nav and fancy exhaust thingy but just to add a wee touch extra I've got myself a new personal number plate to put on it.
Better half has had one for 3 years now after a kind soul bought him one for his 39th birthday - that would be me!
I now have my own and I'm very pleased.
So there.
Jenny xx
Better half has had one for 3 years now after a kind soul bought him one for his 39th birthday - that would be me!
I now have my own and I'm very pleased.
So there.
Jenny xx
Hello New Jersey
Had a wee look at my Stats today for the first time in ages.
Seems I've got me a fair few returning visitors and not only those who I know about! So hello to the Godess (she knows who she is!) and hello to the mysterious stranger from New Jersey who has been having a wee look.
God knows why you all keep coming back but it's nice knowing ya'll!
Have a nice day. Or night depending on where you are and what time it is.
Jenny xx
Seems I've got me a fair few returning visitors and not only those who I know about! So hello to the Godess (she knows who she is!) and hello to the mysterious stranger from New Jersey who has been having a wee look.
God knows why you all keep coming back but it's nice knowing ya'll!
Have a nice day. Or night depending on where you are and what time it is.
Jenny xx
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Life Education...
I've been on this planet for 31 years now and along the way I've learned a few things. I thought I'd share them with you. The list is not exhaustive and I'm sure I'll learn more as I go on my merry way through this life...
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in...
I've learned that one good turn gets most of the duvet.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just lost causes.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.
I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.
I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent.
I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, Mr Nobody did it.
I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.
I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.
I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
I’ve learned that you are only as old as the person you feel.
I’ve learned that when you think things can only get better they inevitably get worse.
I’ve learned never to trust anyone who says “Trust me”.
I’ve learned having manners is not important but how you use them is.
I’ve learned that the grass is not always greener on the other side, everyone has weeds.
I’ve learned there is no pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.
I’ve learned that time stands still for no man unless he’s in a pub in which case time apparently has no relevance.
I’ve learned that one drink does not lead to another, it leads to many other’s.
I’ve learned that periods are not a curse but an excuse not to take the kids swimming.
I’ve learned that sex with a friend’s boyfriend is like having chocolate cake, you might enjoy it at the time but you will end up regretting having it.
I’ve learned that having kids is like having a tattoo, painful when you get them and with you for life.
I’ve learned only fools rush in except when there is a shoe sale on.
I’ve learned never to take people for granted unless I wish to be taken for granted myself.
I’ve learned that the price of a holiday advertised in a travel agents window is always incorrect.
I’ve learned that although I may have only 2 feet I need 30 pairs of shoes in order to function correctly.
I’ve learned that an early night means just that and not anything else.
I’ve learned that too many cooks may spoil the broth but my being the only cook in the house will lead to arguments in the kitchen.
I’ve learned that grief can only be taken away by the one person who has caused it.
I’ve learned that true friends have an open door, open heart and open ear to me and closed legs to my partner.
I’ve learned that money is not the root of all evil, jealousy is.
I’ve learned that true love is a feeling in the pit of your stomach, Lust is a feeling between your legs.
I’ve learned that a smile costs nothing but a snigger can cost you friendship or your job.
I’ve learned that good time keeping is not essential but good timing is.
I’ve learned that common sense is not common at all it is a rarity that few people actually use.
I’ve learned that occasionally demonstrating my temper will avoid the need for me to use it too often.
I’ve learned that the way to a man’s heart is not through his stomach but keeping a fridge stocked with lager and being pledging allegiance to his football team.
I’ve learned that in order to gain respect I need to give it.
I’ve learned that if I wear new underwear, more make up than normal and have my hair cut more than once every 6 weeks it will be assumed I am having an affair.
I’ve learned that ironing is a job best left to a man.
I’ve learned a smile has more effect on a man than a pair of tits ever will.
I’ve learned to accept my faults because others are every bit as flawed as I am.
I’ve learned that it is indeed better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
I’ve learned that turning the other cheek is not always the best course of action but slapping someone else’s cheek may well be.
I’ve learned an unexpected pregnancy is not a mistake but an act of stupidity.
I’ve learned that a dog is not for life, just about 10 years.
I’ve learned there is no point having house insurance unless you claim on it.
I’ve learned to like Chinese food, after all a billion people can’t be wrong.
I’ve learned that mixing my drink does not lead to a hangover, too much drink does.
I’ve learned that giving someone a compliment costs nothing.
I’ve learned that only bad news comes in brown envelopes.
I’ve learned that sex education is a life long course.
I’ve learned speaking my mind can stop me from going out of my mind.
I’ve learned never to try and hold an important conversation with a man during match of the day.
I’ve learned not to go to bed on an argument but to stay up and fight.
I’ve learned not to follow my horoscope but to follow my instinct.
I’ve learned that white lies are acceptable because the truth can hurt.
I’ve learned that flattery will get you everywhere and anywhere.
I’ve learned it’s sometimes better to speak before you think rather than think before you speak.
I’ve learned that a good memory is a good thing, especially if you’ve told a lie.
I’ve learned saints are just sinners who have not yet been caught out.
I’ve learned that my favourite book is a cheque book.
I’ve learned sex is only dirty when it’s done properly.
I’ve learned religion is a weapon of mass destruction.
I’ve learned that knowledge is power but acting dumb can save your ass in a when you’re in a tight spot.
I’ve learned that true wisdom is knowing Tomatoes are a fruit but never putting them in a fruit salad.
I’ve learned to realise that sometimes it takes more courage to walk away than stand and fight.
I’ve learned that if I tell my children not to touch wet paint they will touch it anyway.
I’ve learned that I will not have to take anything on the chin provided I throw the first punch.
I’ve learned that money does not lead to happiness, spending it does.
I’ve learned that the older I get the more likely it is I will want to wear cardigans.
I’ve realised that a woman’s bladder ages a damn sight quicker than the rest of her body.
I’ve learned that emotional blackmail can work a treat.
I’ve learned that as a woman it may not be acceptable to have a dirty home but it is acceptable to have a dirty laugh and a dirty mind.
I’ve learned that I will never spend less than 20 minutes in a Post Office queue on pension day.
I’ve learned that a dog is not man’s best friend, the remote control is.
I’ve learned that true happiness is different things to different people.
I’ve learned that the most important job I will ever do is raising my children.
I’ve learned that stealing someone else's husband is acceptable if your doing the stealing.
I’ve learned that I can only find inner peace when I am in the bath with the door locked.
I’ve learned my children’s happiness depends on whether they are allowed sweets or not.
Jenny xx
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in...
I've learned that one good turn gets most of the duvet.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just lost causes.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.
I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.
I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent.
I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, Mr Nobody did it.
I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.
I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.
I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
I’ve learned that you are only as old as the person you feel.
I’ve learned that when you think things can only get better they inevitably get worse.
I’ve learned never to trust anyone who says “Trust me”.
I’ve learned having manners is not important but how you use them is.
I’ve learned that the grass is not always greener on the other side, everyone has weeds.
I’ve learned there is no pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.
I’ve learned that time stands still for no man unless he’s in a pub in which case time apparently has no relevance.
I’ve learned that one drink does not lead to another, it leads to many other’s.
I’ve learned that periods are not a curse but an excuse not to take the kids swimming.
I’ve learned that sex with a friend’s boyfriend is like having chocolate cake, you might enjoy it at the time but you will end up regretting having it.
I’ve learned that having kids is like having a tattoo, painful when you get them and with you for life.
I’ve learned only fools rush in except when there is a shoe sale on.
I’ve learned never to take people for granted unless I wish to be taken for granted myself.
I’ve learned that the price of a holiday advertised in a travel agents window is always incorrect.
I’ve learned that although I may have only 2 feet I need 30 pairs of shoes in order to function correctly.
I’ve learned that an early night means just that and not anything else.
I’ve learned that too many cooks may spoil the broth but my being the only cook in the house will lead to arguments in the kitchen.
I’ve learned that grief can only be taken away by the one person who has caused it.
I’ve learned that true friends have an open door, open heart and open ear to me and closed legs to my partner.
I’ve learned that money is not the root of all evil, jealousy is.
I’ve learned that true love is a feeling in the pit of your stomach, Lust is a feeling between your legs.
I’ve learned that a smile costs nothing but a snigger can cost you friendship or your job.
I’ve learned that good time keeping is not essential but good timing is.
I’ve learned that common sense is not common at all it is a rarity that few people actually use.
I’ve learned that occasionally demonstrating my temper will avoid the need for me to use it too often.
I’ve learned that the way to a man’s heart is not through his stomach but keeping a fridge stocked with lager and being pledging allegiance to his football team.
I’ve learned that in order to gain respect I need to give it.
I’ve learned that if I wear new underwear, more make up than normal and have my hair cut more than once every 6 weeks it will be assumed I am having an affair.
I’ve learned that ironing is a job best left to a man.
I’ve learned a smile has more effect on a man than a pair of tits ever will.
I’ve learned to accept my faults because others are every bit as flawed as I am.
I’ve learned that it is indeed better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
I’ve learned that turning the other cheek is not always the best course of action but slapping someone else’s cheek may well be.
I’ve learned an unexpected pregnancy is not a mistake but an act of stupidity.
I’ve learned that a dog is not for life, just about 10 years.
I’ve learned there is no point having house insurance unless you claim on it.
I’ve learned to like Chinese food, after all a billion people can’t be wrong.
I’ve learned that mixing my drink does not lead to a hangover, too much drink does.
I’ve learned that giving someone a compliment costs nothing.
I’ve learned that only bad news comes in brown envelopes.
I’ve learned that sex education is a life long course.
I’ve learned speaking my mind can stop me from going out of my mind.
I’ve learned never to try and hold an important conversation with a man during match of the day.
I’ve learned not to go to bed on an argument but to stay up and fight.
I’ve learned not to follow my horoscope but to follow my instinct.
I’ve learned that white lies are acceptable because the truth can hurt.
I’ve learned that flattery will get you everywhere and anywhere.
I’ve learned it’s sometimes better to speak before you think rather than think before you speak.
I’ve learned that a good memory is a good thing, especially if you’ve told a lie.
I’ve learned saints are just sinners who have not yet been caught out.
I’ve learned that my favourite book is a cheque book.
I’ve learned sex is only dirty when it’s done properly.
I’ve learned religion is a weapon of mass destruction.
I’ve learned that knowledge is power but acting dumb can save your ass in a when you’re in a tight spot.
I’ve learned that true wisdom is knowing Tomatoes are a fruit but never putting them in a fruit salad.
I’ve learned to realise that sometimes it takes more courage to walk away than stand and fight.
I’ve learned that if I tell my children not to touch wet paint they will touch it anyway.
I’ve learned that I will not have to take anything on the chin provided I throw the first punch.
I’ve learned that money does not lead to happiness, spending it does.
I’ve learned that the older I get the more likely it is I will want to wear cardigans.
I’ve realised that a woman’s bladder ages a damn sight quicker than the rest of her body.
I’ve learned that emotional blackmail can work a treat.
I’ve learned that as a woman it may not be acceptable to have a dirty home but it is acceptable to have a dirty laugh and a dirty mind.
I’ve learned that I will never spend less than 20 minutes in a Post Office queue on pension day.
I’ve learned that a dog is not man’s best friend, the remote control is.
I’ve learned that true happiness is different things to different people.
I’ve learned that the most important job I will ever do is raising my children.
I’ve learned that stealing someone else's husband is acceptable if your doing the stealing.
I’ve learned that I can only find inner peace when I am in the bath with the door locked.
I’ve learned my children’s happiness depends on whether they are allowed sweets or not.
Jenny xx
Friday, September 02, 2005
I Love The Internet...
Ain't it grand? You can get all your shopping in, find enough reading material to satisfy your needs, find things to make you laugh or cry, download movies, music and anything else you fancy, get pictures, find intresting facts, look up relatives and friends, sort out your finances, get directions, chat to strangers, play games...the list is endless! You don't even have to leave the house, which is a great news for agoraphobics!!
Did I mention you can also find out lots of personal information about people? No? Well you can and this can be both intresting and sometimes necessary too!!
I'll give you an example shall I? Someone, who shall remain nameless, that I know claims to be a certain age. If it could be proven that this person was not the age they claimed to be it could have deliriously delightful consequences for a fair few people I know. So I am asked to find out if the age this person is claiming to be is true. 10 minutes on the internet and I have written proof that the person has lied about their age! Result!
So if you wanted to find out information on say Joe Bloggs within minutes you could know, his address, date of birth, credit history, who else lives with him, how many times Joe Bloggs got married and when and to whom and where, whether Joe has kids and whether he works...oh and his neighbours names if you like! Scary but true and all at the click of a mouse!
The sites that provide this info normally charge a fee but if you're dead clever you can get the info for free (I'm not telling how though...that's my secret...ok I'll give you a hint...you need to have a smart mouth!!).
Anyway suffice to say the person I know who claimed to be one age has now been proven to be uneconomical with the truth and I have the written proof. Gotcha!!!
I Love The Internet!!!
Jenny xx
Did I mention you can also find out lots of personal information about people? No? Well you can and this can be both intresting and sometimes necessary too!!
I'll give you an example shall I? Someone, who shall remain nameless, that I know claims to be a certain age. If it could be proven that this person was not the age they claimed to be it could have deliriously delightful consequences for a fair few people I know. So I am asked to find out if the age this person is claiming to be is true. 10 minutes on the internet and I have written proof that the person has lied about their age! Result!
So if you wanted to find out information on say Joe Bloggs within minutes you could know, his address, date of birth, credit history, who else lives with him, how many times Joe Bloggs got married and when and to whom and where, whether Joe has kids and whether he works...oh and his neighbours names if you like! Scary but true and all at the click of a mouse!
The sites that provide this info normally charge a fee but if you're dead clever you can get the info for free (I'm not telling how though...that's my secret...ok I'll give you a hint...you need to have a smart mouth!!).
Anyway suffice to say the person I know who claimed to be one age has now been proven to be uneconomical with the truth and I have the written proof. Gotcha!!!
I Love The Internet!!!
Jenny xx
Mutants Part 2...
Fucking typical! I would like to refer you to the post prior to this one in which I discussed my loathing of the Mutant Spiders of Kirknewton. I would like to quote myself at this point as saying in my previous post "I have had only 2 visits (from mutant spider) this year"
Strike that. Make it 3 visits. I sat there last night on the PC and heard a patter patter noise, right in front of me on the bloody wall not a foot away was bloody Mutant Spider crawling up my son's painting from nursery. Bastarding cheek! How did I handle it? I screamed, ran upstairs, woke better half to tell him of my plight. He swore, swore a bit more and then after a few minutes of nagging form me, headed off to dispose of the beast. Naked I might add...who the hell goes to dispose of Mutant Spider naked? Personally I'd have on at least a pair of protective overalls, gloves and wellies..oh and maybe a hat and goggles just to be safe, but naked? What if it falls to the floor? How the hell are you going to stand on it in bare feet?
Anyway the fact that I was sitting there in my PJ's with bare feet...and the thought that Mutant Spider may well have ran past my bare tootsies before running up my wall...Dear god what if Mutant Spider had missed the wall and mistaken my leg for something to climb up?? Holy Fuck!! (Note to self - Stop thinking about it..Now!) I am off for a lie down to recover from the shock in a well lit room where the windows have been closed for a few days...
Jenny xx
Strike that. Make it 3 visits. I sat there last night on the PC and heard a patter patter noise, right in front of me on the bloody wall not a foot away was bloody Mutant Spider crawling up my son's painting from nursery. Bastarding cheek! How did I handle it? I screamed, ran upstairs, woke better half to tell him of my plight. He swore, swore a bit more and then after a few minutes of nagging form me, headed off to dispose of the beast. Naked I might add...who the hell goes to dispose of Mutant Spider naked? Personally I'd have on at least a pair of protective overalls, gloves and wellies..oh and maybe a hat and goggles just to be safe, but naked? What if it falls to the floor? How the hell are you going to stand on it in bare feet?
Anyway the fact that I was sitting there in my PJ's with bare feet...and the thought that Mutant Spider may well have ran past my bare tootsies before running up my wall...Dear god what if Mutant Spider had missed the wall and mistaken my leg for something to climb up?? Holy Fuck!! (Note to self - Stop thinking about it..Now!) I am off for a lie down to recover from the shock in a well lit room where the windows have been closed for a few days...
Jenny xx
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Mutants...
I've always been a city girl raised all my life in Edinburgh, until that is I moved out to the countryside just over 5 years ago. I am now in a small village about 6 miles outside Edinburgh and I need to tell you it certainly is different.
I remember coming to view the house I now live in for the first time...a nice quiet cul-de-sac of houses only a few years old, one main street with one shop and a pub, tree's everywhere, fields and plenty open spaces. A small village school and lots of lovely old cottages everywhere, it even has it's own little graveyard. I liked it and the house was sold!
What I didn't realise though was that living in such a location would bring previously undiscovered issues, for example, who knew sheep could make such a bloody racket bleating away at 5am, or that the wind is a damn sight noisier in the country as it rattles through all the tree's. In addition you have the fragrant smell of manure being spread over fields in the summer months and don't even get me started on the fact that snowploughs and gritters can't seem to find country roads in winter!
But I digress, the main problem I have encountered since my conversion to countryside life is the wildlife. Midges. Flies. Bluebottles. Daddy long legs. Slugs. Frogs. Snails. Horseflies. Butterflies, Dragonflies. Any other kind of fly. Hedgehogs. Moths. Foxes. Mice. Wasps. Bee's. Caterpillars. Rabbitts. All of them regular visitors to my house or garden at some point, Oh and spiders and here lies the real issue...I hate bloody spiders. Little baby spiders I can cope with...just, but great big mutant hairy spiders I can't.
Now before you think I'm over-reacting I kid you not when I tell you these things have bodies the size of a ten pence piece and legs as thick as matches. They're not your everyday house spider. They are beings unto themselves. They are enough to cause this Mother of 2 (and as such I have seen a few scary sights let me tell you!) to run from a room screaming and not return for hours!
Luckily I have better half who will remove the offending creature when they appear. It is compulsory that he kills them though, I'm not having them thinking they can come back again, or giving them the chance to mate with a partner and it's unacceptable to flush them down the loo, just in case they crawl back up when I'm peeing!!
Of course better half likes to laugh at my screaming and shaking and very occasionally will tease me by getting the offending beast and coming towards me with it. Following last weeks mutant spider visit (it was in my bloody bedroom the cheeky bugger!) I think he now realises his own death will follow should he keep this up!
Please don't tell me that the mutant spider is more scared of me than I am of it. That's rubbish. If I am afraid of something I would hide from it. Mutant spider is not afraid of me otherwise he would not walk across my lounge floor bold as brass, nor would he have the cheek to sit in my bath or for that matter to crawl up my bedroom wall in clear view of me. Don;t tell me either that having mutant spiders will help keep flies away - a can of bloody fly spray does the job just as well!!
Thankfully mutant spider only appears during the summer months and especially during warm periods when we have heavy rain. You see I have made a point of noticing mutant spiders movements. This year has been better than last and I have only had 2 visits so far this summer.
I read in an article that these mutants are moving into Scotland because our climate is getting warmer. Apparently they are fairly new to these parts and have worked their way north from the south of England over the last decade. Quelle surprise that we should be getting them from the English! Anyhow note to mutant spiders...fuck off to Spain, they have a much better climate than Scotland and the drinks cheaper.
Jenny xx
I remember coming to view the house I now live in for the first time...a nice quiet cul-de-sac of houses only a few years old, one main street with one shop and a pub, tree's everywhere, fields and plenty open spaces. A small village school and lots of lovely old cottages everywhere, it even has it's own little graveyard. I liked it and the house was sold!
What I didn't realise though was that living in such a location would bring previously undiscovered issues, for example, who knew sheep could make such a bloody racket bleating away at 5am, or that the wind is a damn sight noisier in the country as it rattles through all the tree's. In addition you have the fragrant smell of manure being spread over fields in the summer months and don't even get me started on the fact that snowploughs and gritters can't seem to find country roads in winter!
But I digress, the main problem I have encountered since my conversion to countryside life is the wildlife. Midges. Flies. Bluebottles. Daddy long legs. Slugs. Frogs. Snails. Horseflies. Butterflies, Dragonflies. Any other kind of fly. Hedgehogs. Moths. Foxes. Mice. Wasps. Bee's. Caterpillars. Rabbitts. All of them regular visitors to my house or garden at some point, Oh and spiders and here lies the real issue...I hate bloody spiders. Little baby spiders I can cope with...just, but great big mutant hairy spiders I can't.
Now before you think I'm over-reacting I kid you not when I tell you these things have bodies the size of a ten pence piece and legs as thick as matches. They're not your everyday house spider. They are beings unto themselves. They are enough to cause this Mother of 2 (and as such I have seen a few scary sights let me tell you!) to run from a room screaming and not return for hours!
Luckily I have better half who will remove the offending creature when they appear. It is compulsory that he kills them though, I'm not having them thinking they can come back again, or giving them the chance to mate with a partner and it's unacceptable to flush them down the loo, just in case they crawl back up when I'm peeing!!
Of course better half likes to laugh at my screaming and shaking and very occasionally will tease me by getting the offending beast and coming towards me with it. Following last weeks mutant spider visit (it was in my bloody bedroom the cheeky bugger!) I think he now realises his own death will follow should he keep this up!
Please don't tell me that the mutant spider is more scared of me than I am of it. That's rubbish. If I am afraid of something I would hide from it. Mutant spider is not afraid of me otherwise he would not walk across my lounge floor bold as brass, nor would he have the cheek to sit in my bath or for that matter to crawl up my bedroom wall in clear view of me. Don;t tell me either that having mutant spiders will help keep flies away - a can of bloody fly spray does the job just as well!!
Thankfully mutant spider only appears during the summer months and especially during warm periods when we have heavy rain. You see I have made a point of noticing mutant spiders movements. This year has been better than last and I have only had 2 visits so far this summer.
I read in an article that these mutants are moving into Scotland because our climate is getting warmer. Apparently they are fairly new to these parts and have worked their way north from the south of England over the last decade. Quelle surprise that we should be getting them from the English! Anyhow note to mutant spiders...fuck off to Spain, they have a much better climate than Scotland and the drinks cheaper.
Jenny xx
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Just A Thought...
I am a curious person by nature. I always have a question to ask or a thought about something in my head. Usually random meaningless things that will have no great impact on the world but bother me.
For example...
Who decided there should be 60 seconds in a minute? Or for that matter 60 minutes in an hour? Why 60? Why not 50 which is a nicer number?
Supposing you have a best friend or partner whom you've been with or known for say 40 years. You've done everything together, share everything, are the biggest part of each other's lives. Always there for each other through up's and down's. You couldn't bear to lose them could you? And they think the same about you. Yet for all you share and for all you go through together the likelihood is that one of you will be left to face the death of the other alone. Worse still, despite sharing everything for umpteen years, one of you will probably not say goodbye to the other and will not attend the other's funeral. That really bugs me.
I believe in the afterlife but if it's there then why has no-one come back to tell us what it's like?
When you die, they tell you that you'll finally meet your maker. He/She/It will be there to welcome you to heaven/or whatever you believe in. Fine. However thousands of people die on the same day. Do you have to sit in a waiting room until your name is called? Or is it like to supermarket Deli counter where you take a ticket and wait till your number is called? Pack me off with a good book just in case there is a wait...it'll help pass the time.
There are loads of other random thoughts like this which enter my head with surprising regularity. God knows why. Maybe I just think too much. I am though not alone. Nikki one of my mates came out with a blinding thought just the other day.
Mosquito's bite a human being and suck the blood. If they bite a human with Aids do they then contract the virus? Are they then an Aids carrying Mossie? If so do they pass the disease on when they next inject and suck?
Like I said blinding thought. I only wish it had been mine!! I buggered if I know the answer!
Jenny xx
For example...
Who decided there should be 60 seconds in a minute? Or for that matter 60 minutes in an hour? Why 60? Why not 50 which is a nicer number?
Supposing you have a best friend or partner whom you've been with or known for say 40 years. You've done everything together, share everything, are the biggest part of each other's lives. Always there for each other through up's and down's. You couldn't bear to lose them could you? And they think the same about you. Yet for all you share and for all you go through together the likelihood is that one of you will be left to face the death of the other alone. Worse still, despite sharing everything for umpteen years, one of you will probably not say goodbye to the other and will not attend the other's funeral. That really bugs me.
I believe in the afterlife but if it's there then why has no-one come back to tell us what it's like?
When you die, they tell you that you'll finally meet your maker. He/She/It will be there to welcome you to heaven/or whatever you believe in. Fine. However thousands of people die on the same day. Do you have to sit in a waiting room until your name is called? Or is it like to supermarket Deli counter where you take a ticket and wait till your number is called? Pack me off with a good book just in case there is a wait...it'll help pass the time.
There are loads of other random thoughts like this which enter my head with surprising regularity. God knows why. Maybe I just think too much. I am though not alone. Nikki one of my mates came out with a blinding thought just the other day.
Mosquito's bite a human being and suck the blood. If they bite a human with Aids do they then contract the virus? Are they then an Aids carrying Mossie? If so do they pass the disease on when they next inject and suck?
Like I said blinding thought. I only wish it had been mine!! I buggered if I know the answer!
Jenny xx
Inspired...
So there I was feeling pained by the fact that I had nothing to write about on here when I stumble across another blog which blows my boredom from my mind and makes me feel a bit silly for having nothing to write about.
The blog is by a lady called Michelle who lives in Minneapolis (one of my favourtite places, in fact I'm off there in 8 weeks!!) in the US of A. Michelle is 28 years old. There is a photo of her on the blog which shows her to be a beautiful woman with a lovely bright smile. This photo, with it's big grin, is sort of at odds with the subject of the blog. You see Michelle has MS and the blog is her journal of the illness.
I have known 2 people in my life who had MS and know what a horrible illness it can be. It's debilitating nature can leave even the most positive soul feeling sorry for themselves and with good reason. Michelle though has detailed the first symptoms, her fear while waiting for her diagnosis, her treatment and her up days and down days with a hint of a smile and a big dose of "I won't let this ruin my spirit".
I fully admit that while reading through it I went from tears to laughter and back again more than once. Michelle's lack of self pity and determination to carry on with her life as much as possible is an inspiration. Not only to fellow sufferers but to other's like me who have nothing more to worry about today then whether to hang out my washing!
Read it for yourself here.
Jenny xx
The blog is by a lady called Michelle who lives in Minneapolis (one of my favourtite places, in fact I'm off there in 8 weeks!!) in the US of A. Michelle is 28 years old. There is a photo of her on the blog which shows her to be a beautiful woman with a lovely bright smile. This photo, with it's big grin, is sort of at odds with the subject of the blog. You see Michelle has MS and the blog is her journal of the illness.
I have known 2 people in my life who had MS and know what a horrible illness it can be. It's debilitating nature can leave even the most positive soul feeling sorry for themselves and with good reason. Michelle though has detailed the first symptoms, her fear while waiting for her diagnosis, her treatment and her up days and down days with a hint of a smile and a big dose of "I won't let this ruin my spirit".
I fully admit that while reading through it I went from tears to laughter and back again more than once. Michelle's lack of self pity and determination to carry on with her life as much as possible is an inspiration. Not only to fellow sufferers but to other's like me who have nothing more to worry about today then whether to hang out my washing!
Read it for yourself here.
Jenny xx
Monday, August 29, 2005
Boredom...
I feel the need to write on here but I am being held back by one vital element. Boredom. I simply cannot think what the hell to write about.
This is mainly because nothing has been happening in the merry old land of Jenny in recent days. I've no stories to tell and have heard little or no gossip to pass on...unless you count my sister's ex-boyfriend's brother in law commiting suicide, my cousin losing her drivers license for reckless driving after hitting a lamp post, a thief being on the loose at my children's school or someone I know being suspected of fraud. Of course this is usual run of the mill stuff for me and not worth bothering about.
If you're reading this and have any suggestions n what to write about let me know...god knows I need the inspiration!!!
Jenny xx
This is mainly because nothing has been happening in the merry old land of Jenny in recent days. I've no stories to tell and have heard little or no gossip to pass on...unless you count my sister's ex-boyfriend's brother in law commiting suicide, my cousin losing her drivers license for reckless driving after hitting a lamp post, a thief being on the loose at my children's school or someone I know being suspected of fraud. Of course this is usual run of the mill stuff for me and not worth bothering about.
If you're reading this and have any suggestions n what to write about let me know...god knows I need the inspiration!!!
Jenny xx
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Don't You Just Love A Smart Ass....
Last night at "the club", you know that place I work in, there was a quiz night on. I like a wee quiz and so Nikki and I decided we'd join in - not officially cause we're not allowed while we're working - but unofficially to test our brains.
Upon advising Ross that I'm a bit good at general knowledge and useless trivia, he declared he was the master at such things, or words to that effect. "who caused the start of the first world war then?" he asks me. I haven't a clue and tell him so. I try to advise him that in a pub quiz they are much more likely to ask how many number one's Wham! had...Ross disgaree's.
So along comes round one...basic general knowledge. 10 questions.
Question one is read out - "At any one time what is the average number of people on death row in Texas?" The quizmaster asks. Nikki and I look at each other in a pondering kind of way. Ross however states "I saw that in tv not long ago...it's about 320" He's confident. We write it down. After all he's a master at this stuff. The next few questions are fairly straight forward and Nikki and I reel of answers between us.
Question 9 comes along - "In which county is the Glastonbury festival held?" asks the quizmaster. Nikki's not sure, I'm thinking it's near Taunton somewhere but not sure...Ross says "Wiltshire" with a smug grin and no hesitation. We write it down.
The final question is easy enough and we complete the round. Time to mark the answers. We get Dean, the glass collector to mark our as we're serving. We get a fairly impressive 8 out of 10.
Which 2 did we get wrong? Yep, you guessed it. The two that Ross answered!!!
For the record there are on average 490 people on death row in Texas at any one time and Glastonbury is held in Somerset...which is where Taunton is funnily enough!!
Luckily for us Ross was not around for the rest of the quiz and Nikki and I did it alone. We did well and in the real world had we been playing we would have come second. I'm pleased to say I was proved right...there was a question on Wham! number one's!!!!
Jenny xx
Upon advising Ross that I'm a bit good at general knowledge and useless trivia, he declared he was the master at such things, or words to that effect. "who caused the start of the first world war then?" he asks me. I haven't a clue and tell him so. I try to advise him that in a pub quiz they are much more likely to ask how many number one's Wham! had...Ross disgaree's.
So along comes round one...basic general knowledge. 10 questions.
Question one is read out - "At any one time what is the average number of people on death row in Texas?" The quizmaster asks. Nikki and I look at each other in a pondering kind of way. Ross however states "I saw that in tv not long ago...it's about 320" He's confident. We write it down. After all he's a master at this stuff. The next few questions are fairly straight forward and Nikki and I reel of answers between us.
Question 9 comes along - "In which county is the Glastonbury festival held?" asks the quizmaster. Nikki's not sure, I'm thinking it's near Taunton somewhere but not sure...Ross says "Wiltshire" with a smug grin and no hesitation. We write it down.
The final question is easy enough and we complete the round. Time to mark the answers. We get Dean, the glass collector to mark our as we're serving. We get a fairly impressive 8 out of 10.
Which 2 did we get wrong? Yep, you guessed it. The two that Ross answered!!!
For the record there are on average 490 people on death row in Texas at any one time and Glastonbury is held in Somerset...which is where Taunton is funnily enough!!
Luckily for us Ross was not around for the rest of the quiz and Nikki and I did it alone. We did well and in the real world had we been playing we would have come second. I'm pleased to say I was proved right...there was a question on Wham! number one's!!!!
Jenny xx
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
A Black Day In West Lothian.
On Sunday evening we found out the police had found a young man's body in West Lothian. It seemed inevitable that it was going to be Rory Blackhall the 11 year old who had gone missing in the area on Thursday.
Yesterday the police confirmed that this was the case. Sadly today we found that his death was no accident and the police launched a murder enquiry.
I am sure I am not the only one who had been hoping this was simply a case of a boy skiving school and being too afraid to return home fearing the consequences. Unfortunatley this was not the case.
What his family must be feeling now I simply cannot pretend to know. Most parents have at some point felt that immediate panic when they lose sight of their child for even a few minutes. The panic you must feel when your child is missing for 3 days is beyond me. To then find out the unthinkable has happened...
As a citizen of West Lothian I can tell you that the shock and sadness is felt throughout. We live just a few miles from this family and the thought that this has happened so damn close to home is hard to comprehend.
5 year old started school last week, already he likes to walk with his Sister, normally I give tem a head start of 5 minutes and follow them in the car to make sure they get there alright. Today I took them to school in the car, I didn't want them to walk. I wasn't alone either. Mum's and Dad's who normally drop their kids off and go stayed for the bell, other kids who normally walk were taken by car. Irrational behaviour? Probably. It's unlikely that lightning will strike twice but then only a few years ago it was taken for granted that no-one would murder your child as long as they were with a friend. Then we had the terrible events in Soham when Ian Huntely and Maxine Carr changed that theory.
So far the police have not released much more information. As far as parents are concerned at the minute there is a killer on the loose somewhere. Until I know otherwise I will be a little more protective and I know others will be doing the same. I'd rather be safe than sorry.
My thoughts are with Rory's family and friends.
Jenny xx
Yesterday the police confirmed that this was the case. Sadly today we found that his death was no accident and the police launched a murder enquiry.
I am sure I am not the only one who had been hoping this was simply a case of a boy skiving school and being too afraid to return home fearing the consequences. Unfortunatley this was not the case.
What his family must be feeling now I simply cannot pretend to know. Most parents have at some point felt that immediate panic when they lose sight of their child for even a few minutes. The panic you must feel when your child is missing for 3 days is beyond me. To then find out the unthinkable has happened...
As a citizen of West Lothian I can tell you that the shock and sadness is felt throughout. We live just a few miles from this family and the thought that this has happened so damn close to home is hard to comprehend.
5 year old started school last week, already he likes to walk with his Sister, normally I give tem a head start of 5 minutes and follow them in the car to make sure they get there alright. Today I took them to school in the car, I didn't want them to walk. I wasn't alone either. Mum's and Dad's who normally drop their kids off and go stayed for the bell, other kids who normally walk were taken by car. Irrational behaviour? Probably. It's unlikely that lightning will strike twice but then only a few years ago it was taken for granted that no-one would murder your child as long as they were with a friend. Then we had the terrible events in Soham when Ian Huntely and Maxine Carr changed that theory.
So far the police have not released much more information. As far as parents are concerned at the minute there is a killer on the loose somewhere. Until I know otherwise I will be a little more protective and I know others will be doing the same. I'd rather be safe than sorry.
My thoughts are with Rory's family and friends.
Jenny xx
Saturday, August 20, 2005
On The Road Again....
In January this year we had 3 cars parked outside. My sporty job, the family car and Better Halves company 4x4.
Thinking there was no need for this situation we got rid of the family car and I traded in my sports car for a 4x4 of my own. So we became a 2 car family once more. It was all good.
However...
Better Half changed job and the company car was no more. All of a sudden we were a one car family and christ it has been a hassle! I live about 8 miles outside of Edinburgh in a village and it's not the best place on earth to be when you don't have a car all day. Better Half has been taking our sole remaining vehicle to work all day leaving me (during the kids holiday's I might add) without wheels.
I am now pleased to report that I am back in business! Better Half has got a new car and we are again a 2 car family! Of course seeing as how he got a new car I wanted one as well and so the 4x4 we currently have is today being replaced with a new 4x4 for me! So it's goodbye to my lovely Japanese imported turbo diesel, with japanese Sat Nav and Japanese TV - none of which I can understand and hello to my new black 4x4 with UK Sat Nav, DVD player and Leather Seats.
Happy? I think I am! Keeping it for any decent length of time? I intend to but we'll see! We've had 10 cars in 5 years!
Oh and happy days also to my wee sis who has traded in her little 1 litre Daewoo (Dad used to say he had had Lawnmowers with more power!!) for a nice shiny new Peugeot.
What my Dad would think about us spending our inheritance on cars I don't know - he'd probably be fairly happy. Dad was the sort that liked to get a new car himself...I can guarantee that if he'd been here and my sister, better half and I were all buying new cars he'd soon have followed suit...with that in mind I can only wonder how long it will be before Mum is trading in her Tony Toyota for a new model.
Jenny xx
Thinking there was no need for this situation we got rid of the family car and I traded in my sports car for a 4x4 of my own. So we became a 2 car family once more. It was all good.
However...
Better Half changed job and the company car was no more. All of a sudden we were a one car family and christ it has been a hassle! I live about 8 miles outside of Edinburgh in a village and it's not the best place on earth to be when you don't have a car all day. Better Half has been taking our sole remaining vehicle to work all day leaving me (during the kids holiday's I might add) without wheels.
I am now pleased to report that I am back in business! Better Half has got a new car and we are again a 2 car family! Of course seeing as how he got a new car I wanted one as well and so the 4x4 we currently have is today being replaced with a new 4x4 for me! So it's goodbye to my lovely Japanese imported turbo diesel, with japanese Sat Nav and Japanese TV - none of which I can understand and hello to my new black 4x4 with UK Sat Nav, DVD player and Leather Seats.
Happy? I think I am! Keeping it for any decent length of time? I intend to but we'll see! We've had 10 cars in 5 years!
Oh and happy days also to my wee sis who has traded in her little 1 litre Daewoo (Dad used to say he had had Lawnmowers with more power!!) for a nice shiny new Peugeot.
What my Dad would think about us spending our inheritance on cars I don't know - he'd probably be fairly happy. Dad was the sort that liked to get a new car himself...I can guarantee that if he'd been here and my sister, better half and I were all buying new cars he'd soon have followed suit...with that in mind I can only wonder how long it will be before Mum is trading in her Tony Toyota for a new model.
Jenny xx
Another One Bites The Dust...
I attended my second funeral of the year yesterday. Not bad going considering my attendance rates at funeral's last year!
A family we have known for a good few years lost their leader yesterday when Husband and Dad Geo died just 10 weeks after finding out he had cancer.
He was a nice man and it is really sad that he had to end his life suffering the way he did. It also a damn shame that his family had to watch him waste away like that in pain. No-one deserves to be put through that. We wouldn't let it happen to a dog, yet law dictates that we should allow ourselves and our loved one's to suffer even when all hope is lost. That can't right.
Cancer is a horrible illness that will affect one in three of the British population at some time in their lives. It is an indiscriminate illness which picks it's victims at random. Geo had very little in the way of symptoms that he was carrying this plague in him. They say that there are things we can do to lessen our chances of having cancer. Eat healthily, stop smoking and drinking and lead an active life. Tell that to the family of my Brother in Law. Bridget, his Mother, is now dead as a result of Cancer. She never smoked in her life, very rarely drunk if at all, kept her weight at a healthy level and had an active life.
Yesterday they told women that if we eat chips just once a week or risk of getting breast cancer rises by 27%. My personal response? Bullshit.
They would be better off trying to find the cure for this disease than wasting millions telling us not to eat chips once a week. I still cannot believe that we can send man to the moon, make cloned babies, catch mass murderers through a cigarette end left at a crime scene but we still cannot find a really effective answer to cancer.
Sadly until we do many more families will have to go through the same pain watching their relatives try and fight this horrible disease. I pray (selfishly) that one of these families is not mine and I pray that it is not yours either.
R.I.P Geo.
Jenny xx
A family we have known for a good few years lost their leader yesterday when Husband and Dad Geo died just 10 weeks after finding out he had cancer.
He was a nice man and it is really sad that he had to end his life suffering the way he did. It also a damn shame that his family had to watch him waste away like that in pain. No-one deserves to be put through that. We wouldn't let it happen to a dog, yet law dictates that we should allow ourselves and our loved one's to suffer even when all hope is lost. That can't right.
Cancer is a horrible illness that will affect one in three of the British population at some time in their lives. It is an indiscriminate illness which picks it's victims at random. Geo had very little in the way of symptoms that he was carrying this plague in him. They say that there are things we can do to lessen our chances of having cancer. Eat healthily, stop smoking and drinking and lead an active life. Tell that to the family of my Brother in Law. Bridget, his Mother, is now dead as a result of Cancer. She never smoked in her life, very rarely drunk if at all, kept her weight at a healthy level and had an active life.
Yesterday they told women that if we eat chips just once a week or risk of getting breast cancer rises by 27%. My personal response? Bullshit.
They would be better off trying to find the cure for this disease than wasting millions telling us not to eat chips once a week. I still cannot believe that we can send man to the moon, make cloned babies, catch mass murderers through a cigarette end left at a crime scene but we still cannot find a really effective answer to cancer.
Sadly until we do many more families will have to go through the same pain watching their relatives try and fight this horrible disease. I pray (selfishly) that one of these families is not mine and I pray that it is not yours either.
R.I.P Geo.
Jenny xx
Friday, August 19, 2005
Happy and Sad...
Whilst I was glad to hear the ringing of the school bell on Tuesday, I was also a little sad.
The reason for this was that 5 year old started school. My little baby boy became a big school boy.
Off he went in shirt, tie, big boy's trousers and blazer with a school bag almost as big as he is to join the ranks at the local primary.
There were 28 new Primary One's going in this year and the playground heaving with Mum's & Dad's, Granny's, Grandad's and Auntie's all armed with Camera's and Video Camera's to capture their respective loved one's first day at school for prosperity.
Here's one from our family album!
All 28 of them lined up when the bell went and their new teacher came to meet them and escort them into school. "Say goodbye to your Mum's and Dad's" She said and there was a collective shout of "Bye Mum, Bye Dad" from them all before they all climbed the stairs to begin their first day. Each of them calmly walking into school without so much as a backward glance leaving their Mum's reaching for the hankies!!
5 year old has been desperate to be a big school boy since his best friend started last August so he seemed fair chuffed to be getting his wish at last. I was a little choked up to see him in the uniform but more choked up about the fact that neither his Grandad nor his Gran Isa were still around to see him. Without doubt they would have both been there, camera's in hand, proud as punch! Still he had Mum, Dad, Gran, Auntie Gill and his cousins all waving him off!
He's now finished his first week and seems to still be enjoying it all but of course it's still a novelty...I wonder how they'd feel if they had any concept of time yet and realised they had to go to school for at least the next 11 years!!
Mind you 5 year old seems to have cracked it...there are 9 boys in the class and 19 girls so he'll be spoiled for choice when he gets a bit older!!
Jenny xx
The reason for this was that 5 year old started school. My little baby boy became a big school boy.
Off he went in shirt, tie, big boy's trousers and blazer with a school bag almost as big as he is to join the ranks at the local primary.
There were 28 new Primary One's going in this year and the playground heaving with Mum's & Dad's, Granny's, Grandad's and Auntie's all armed with Camera's and Video Camera's to capture their respective loved one's first day at school for prosperity.
Here's one from our family album!
All 28 of them lined up when the bell went and their new teacher came to meet them and escort them into school. "Say goodbye to your Mum's and Dad's" She said and there was a collective shout of "Bye Mum, Bye Dad" from them all before they all climbed the stairs to begin their first day. Each of them calmly walking into school without so much as a backward glance leaving their Mum's reaching for the hankies!!
5 year old has been desperate to be a big school boy since his best friend started last August so he seemed fair chuffed to be getting his wish at last. I was a little choked up to see him in the uniform but more choked up about the fact that neither his Grandad nor his Gran Isa were still around to see him. Without doubt they would have both been there, camera's in hand, proud as punch! Still he had Mum, Dad, Gran, Auntie Gill and his cousins all waving him off!
He's now finished his first week and seems to still be enjoying it all but of course it's still a novelty...I wonder how they'd feel if they had any concept of time yet and realised they had to go to school for at least the next 11 years!!
Mind you 5 year old seems to have cracked it...there are 9 boys in the class and 19 girls so he'll be spoiled for choice when he gets a bit older!!
Jenny xx
Back To School
It lasted 7 weeks and 1 day in my neck of the woods.
It involved tears, tantrums, juggling of schedules, many a trip to the cinema, the beach and various other Landmarks. It involved spending too much money and inevitably a trip to Blackpool.
It was the school summer holidays.
But Hurrah for they are now over!!! At 8.50am on Tuesday 16th August the Mother's of Kirknewton (and many other places no doubt!!) breathed a collective sigh of relief as the school bell rang.
Jenny xx
It involved tears, tantrums, juggling of schedules, many a trip to the cinema, the beach and various other Landmarks. It involved spending too much money and inevitably a trip to Blackpool.
It was the school summer holidays.
But Hurrah for they are now over!!! At 8.50am on Tuesday 16th August the Mother's of Kirknewton (and many other places no doubt!!) breathed a collective sigh of relief as the school bell rang.
Jenny xx
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Back From Wherever...
Jeez. Haven't been on here for a while. Not that you'd have noticed unless you read this regularly. Haven't felt the need to write anything in the last week or so but I'm back now and gearing up to blog away and make up for lost time.
Exactly what I'll be writing about is as yet a mystery to me but there have been a few events in recent days that should be logged (or is that blogged??) and exactly when I will begin to write them up is also a mystery. Right now I can't be arsed filling in the gaps of last week but it's hugely possible that I might just do some typing tonight.
Might see ya then.
Jenny xx
Exactly what I'll be writing about is as yet a mystery to me but there have been a few events in recent days that should be logged (or is that blogged??) and exactly when I will begin to write them up is also a mystery. Right now I can't be arsed filling in the gaps of last week but it's hugely possible that I might just do some typing tonight.
Might see ya then.
Jenny xx
Monday, August 08, 2005
Watched The Video...
Sat down with 5 year old and 8 year old last night and watched the video of my Tree performance for Scottish Television back in 1985.
Absolute class. The kids were in hysterics as the close up of me came on the screen. They were rolling around laughing. I must admit I got the giggles a bit myself. One thing became totally apparent to me while watching though...5 year old doesn't half look like his Mum!
Better was to come though when I found a video marked "camcorder". We put it on and spent the next hour ending ourselves as various family gatherings appeared on screen. My wedding, 8 year old as a newborn, my Niece's first birthday, 8 year old's first birthday, and various "taken for the hell of it" moments in between.
The main reason the kids found this funny was looking at what I and my sister were wearing and our hairstyles. Given this tape is only 9 years old, I am disgusted at the state of us both. My hair is scarliy short and my Sister's hair resembles an old english sheepdog! Thank god we've found straighteners! There can be no excuse though for wearing white trousers with heeled shoes...ever! Still we weren't alone, everyone looked dodgy in the video.
At least it gave the kids a good laugh.
On a more subdued note, it was a strange experience watching it again. It's the first time I've seen my Dad in the flesh if you like or heard his voice since he died. It was strangely calming and made it seem like he'd never gone at all. There is also footage of my Sister's Mother-In-Law who died just 7 months before Dad. She looks so healthy and to hear her distintive Irish lilt on the tape again was nice.
They may be embarrasssing these old videos but they do hold a lot of memories and it was nice to see it.
I'll away and put it back for another decade now!
Jenny xx
Absolute class. The kids were in hysterics as the close up of me came on the screen. They were rolling around laughing. I must admit I got the giggles a bit myself. One thing became totally apparent to me while watching though...5 year old doesn't half look like his Mum!
Better was to come though when I found a video marked "camcorder". We put it on and spent the next hour ending ourselves as various family gatherings appeared on screen. My wedding, 8 year old as a newborn, my Niece's first birthday, 8 year old's first birthday, and various "taken for the hell of it" moments in between.
The main reason the kids found this funny was looking at what I and my sister were wearing and our hairstyles. Given this tape is only 9 years old, I am disgusted at the state of us both. My hair is scarliy short and my Sister's hair resembles an old english sheepdog! Thank god we've found straighteners! There can be no excuse though for wearing white trousers with heeled shoes...ever! Still we weren't alone, everyone looked dodgy in the video.
At least it gave the kids a good laugh.
On a more subdued note, it was a strange experience watching it again. It's the first time I've seen my Dad in the flesh if you like or heard his voice since he died. It was strangely calming and made it seem like he'd never gone at all. There is also footage of my Sister's Mother-In-Law who died just 7 months before Dad. She looks so healthy and to hear her distintive Irish lilt on the tape again was nice.
They may be embarrasssing these old videos but they do hold a lot of memories and it was nice to see it.
I'll away and put it back for another decade now!
Jenny xx
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Confused Dot Com
If you live outside the UK you may well haev no idea what the hell I'm talking about...but there is an advert here for a Car Insurance Broker called Confused.com.
The advert is highly annoying and features a man shouting loudly how "looking for cheaper car insurance drives him mad" and saying "Confused dot com" a lot in a very annoying manner.
Turns out that this man is my Uncle's Cousin...bloody hell.
Now how I can't be related to a man who is related to Robbie Williams I don't know...instead I am related to a man who is related to the mosty annoying thing on Tv after Crazy Fucking Frog!! Typical.
Of course things are different if you're a child. 8 year old loves the advert, knows it almost word for word and is thoroughly chuffed that her Great Uncle is related to the man in the advert. She's telling all her friends and they think it's like waaay coool.
I wonder how cool 8 year old and her friends will find me when they learn I too have been a Tv star. I'm off to rake out the video of me appearing in a school's programme. I get a big close up as well that's definitely Waaay coool. I do the best impression of a tree in school uniform you've ever seen.
Yes you did read that right. I was performing a "dance, mime scene" to classical music in school uniform. My role was that of a tree in a forest which closes in around innocent young children wandering along through a forrest! My school was a big highlight in the STV Schools Programme schedule of Autumn 1985. No jokes please about wooden acting!
Of course it's not my only bruch with fame whilst at school. I have also been seen by an audience of Millions on Tv when I took part in the Commonwealth Games opening ceremony in 1986. I was seen dancing in the stadium as part of a big choreographed number and running through the streets of Edinburgh before hand!
Now how cool will that be to 8 year old I wonder...I imagine it will be waaay uncooool!!
Jenny xx
The advert is highly annoying and features a man shouting loudly how "looking for cheaper car insurance drives him mad" and saying "Confused dot com" a lot in a very annoying manner.
Turns out that this man is my Uncle's Cousin...bloody hell.
Now how I can't be related to a man who is related to Robbie Williams I don't know...instead I am related to a man who is related to the mosty annoying thing on Tv after Crazy Fucking Frog!! Typical.
Of course things are different if you're a child. 8 year old loves the advert, knows it almost word for word and is thoroughly chuffed that her Great Uncle is related to the man in the advert. She's telling all her friends and they think it's like waaay coool.
I wonder how cool 8 year old and her friends will find me when they learn I too have been a Tv star. I'm off to rake out the video of me appearing in a school's programme. I get a big close up as well that's definitely Waaay coool. I do the best impression of a tree in school uniform you've ever seen.
Yes you did read that right. I was performing a "dance, mime scene" to classical music in school uniform. My role was that of a tree in a forest which closes in around innocent young children wandering along through a forrest! My school was a big highlight in the STV Schools Programme schedule of Autumn 1985. No jokes please about wooden acting!
Of course it's not my only bruch with fame whilst at school. I have also been seen by an audience of Millions on Tv when I took part in the Commonwealth Games opening ceremony in 1986. I was seen dancing in the stadium as part of a big choreographed number and running through the streets of Edinburgh before hand!
Now how cool will that be to 8 year old I wonder...I imagine it will be waaay uncooool!!
Jenny xx
Friday, August 05, 2005
New Lifestyle Update...
I was you may recall going to start my new healthy eating regime this past Monday. That didn't happen - there is a good reason though. I had recently done a big shop so the cupboards and fridge were teeming with "bad" foods and it would be a waste not to have polished them off before beginning this new adventure!
However, I did pop along to Tesco on Wednesday night to fill up the trolley with all the "good" foods Dr Gillian says I need to be eating. I whizzed past the biscuits, cheesecakes, crisps and wine and filled the trolley with sweet pototoes, leeks, carrots and butternut squash and £100 later headed home.
My fridge looks fantastic - packed to the gunnels with fresh veggies.
Yesterday I began the new eating thing in earnest. Breakfast was a fruit smoothie, Lunch was homemade organic lentil and carrot soup with lettuce wraps and dinner was vegetable chilli casserole and wholegrain rice, with a litre and a half of water for good measure...sound lovely eh? To be honest it's a shit load different from a normal days diet - no breakfast, no lunch and pasta for dinner with crisps in between!
I took the recommended vitamins - B complex, Iron supplement, multivitamin, enchinea, Milk thistle, starflower oil and liquid Aloe juice. I'm sure I heard myself rattle a few times as I was walking along!
So far so good though - I managed to get through day one with no crisps or diet Irn Bru!
Apparently I need to keep it up for 3 months then alter the plan to bring in more normal foods. I'm sure it will be worth it in the end.
One downside I have noticed though...I could now pee for Scotland.
Jenny xx
However, I did pop along to Tesco on Wednesday night to fill up the trolley with all the "good" foods Dr Gillian says I need to be eating. I whizzed past the biscuits, cheesecakes, crisps and wine and filled the trolley with sweet pototoes, leeks, carrots and butternut squash and £100 later headed home.
My fridge looks fantastic - packed to the gunnels with fresh veggies.
Yesterday I began the new eating thing in earnest. Breakfast was a fruit smoothie, Lunch was homemade organic lentil and carrot soup with lettuce wraps and dinner was vegetable chilli casserole and wholegrain rice, with a litre and a half of water for good measure...sound lovely eh? To be honest it's a shit load different from a normal days diet - no breakfast, no lunch and pasta for dinner with crisps in between!
I took the recommended vitamins - B complex, Iron supplement, multivitamin, enchinea, Milk thistle, starflower oil and liquid Aloe juice. I'm sure I heard myself rattle a few times as I was walking along!
So far so good though - I managed to get through day one with no crisps or diet Irn Bru!
Apparently I need to keep it up for 3 months then alter the plan to bring in more normal foods. I'm sure it will be worth it in the end.
One downside I have noticed though...I could now pee for Scotland.
Jenny xx
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Age over Youth...
There may be a moral in this for people lke me who work in an establishment teeming with old farts!!
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that she's lost.
Wandering about, she notices a leopard heading rapidly in her direction with the intention of having lunch.The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to chew onthe bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard isabout to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here."
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a lookof terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!" says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending she hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says: "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
Moral of this story..Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience!
Jenny xx
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that she's lost.
Wandering about, she notices a leopard heading rapidly in her direction with the intention of having lunch.The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to chew onthe bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard isabout to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here."
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a lookof terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!" says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending she hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says: "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
Moral of this story..Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience!
Jenny xx
Inner Peace...
Got this in an E mail a few days ago...might give it a try.
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Oprah, I have finally found inner peace.Oprah proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished. There was plenty and so before leaving the house this morning, I made a point of finishing of the things I had started…
I finished off a bottle of Vodka, and the bottle of Chardonnay in the fridge, I also finished the bottle of Baileys, and a bottle of Merlot, I finished the Hagen Daaz in the freezer, a packet of Doritos I had left half eaten. I then finished of my Valium supply and my Diazepam supplies. Finally I finished off the cheesecake.
You have no idea how good I feel.
So it seems it is true that finishing off all those things you started can bring you inner peace.
Jenny xx
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Oprah, I have finally found inner peace.Oprah proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished. There was plenty and so before leaving the house this morning, I made a point of finishing of the things I had started…
I finished off a bottle of Vodka, and the bottle of Chardonnay in the fridge, I also finished the bottle of Baileys, and a bottle of Merlot, I finished the Hagen Daaz in the freezer, a packet of Doritos I had left half eaten. I then finished of my Valium supply and my Diazepam supplies. Finally I finished off the cheesecake.
You have no idea how good I feel.
So it seems it is true that finishing off all those things you started can bring you inner peace.
Jenny xx
Friday, July 29, 2005
Went Out.
Plan was to stay in tonight as I already mentioned. However plans can alter with sudden speed in this house once I take a notion.
Better half and I, alone with no kids (yippee) have just returned from the cinema. We went to see Wedding Crashers with Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson.
The cinema was busier than I've seen it in ages so this film is obviously doing good business and rightly so. It's the first time in many a moon that I've heard so much laughter out loud in a cinema. Even more so than Meet The Fockers. People were in stitches and you could see shoulders going up and down as the audience tried not to cop the giggles too much.
My only gripe was that it was quite long and at times the story was dragged out a bit too much but it is worth a view without doubt. Vince Vaughn is funny man and Owen Wilson is massively (maffisely - it's a personal joke!) cute in a man with a funny nose kind of way!
Go see it. I doubt you'll be disappointed. Keep an eye out for Grandma - she's hilarious!
Jenny xx
Better half and I, alone with no kids (yippee) have just returned from the cinema. We went to see Wedding Crashers with Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson.
The cinema was busier than I've seen it in ages so this film is obviously doing good business and rightly so. It's the first time in many a moon that I've heard so much laughter out loud in a cinema. Even more so than Meet The Fockers. People were in stitches and you could see shoulders going up and down as the audience tried not to cop the giggles too much.
My only gripe was that it was quite long and at times the story was dragged out a bit too much but it is worth a view without doubt. Vince Vaughn is funny man and Owen Wilson is massively (maffisely - it's a personal joke!) cute in a man with a funny nose kind of way!
Go see it. I doubt you'll be disappointed. Keep an eye out for Grandma - she's hilarious!
Jenny xx
Laying Down The Gauntlet...
Ross my blogging partner in crime was given a challenge by his Brother to write a piece about a subject of his choice with the deadline of completing it before his nephew's birthday. Ross has been in a creative slump recently and his Brother saw this as way to get the old writing juices flowing again. It seems to have done the trick. I had put a link in so you could click and read the finished product for yourself but everytime I put the bloody link in it fails and I can't be arsed sitting here pissing about with it anymore.
Ok so it may not be the most inspiring piece ever written nor the best but it got Ross writing again and that is a good thing. He has talent and encouraging him to make that talent better can only be beneficial.
Strangely enough for a guy who seems to like a challenge, Ross seems to shy away from the ones I give to him. Oh alright so they invloved us dressing as homies and running riot about the town centre in the car or taking the mop from the club and driving around randomly hitting people with it (to name but a few of the cleaner idea's mentioned) but to be fair it was a dull Saturday night at work!
I did tell Ross I was going to diss him on here for his refusal to take part in anything more outrageous than dying his hair but I'm not going to. Instead I'm going to give him a different challenge. I've not yet finally decided what it'll be but it will be in relation to the written word in order to be useful as well as humorous to me. If he doesn't take the challenge I will make it my mission to ridicule him publicly on here and if that invloves raiding his Momma's photo album for 70's horror pictures of him then so be it!
So darling Ross, to accept the challenge or not?
I will let you all know what I decide and if pussy boy accepts the challenge!
Jenny xx
Ok so it may not be the most inspiring piece ever written nor the best but it got Ross writing again and that is a good thing. He has talent and encouraging him to make that talent better can only be beneficial.
Strangely enough for a guy who seems to like a challenge, Ross seems to shy away from the ones I give to him. Oh alright so they invloved us dressing as homies and running riot about the town centre in the car or taking the mop from the club and driving around randomly hitting people with it (to name but a few of the cleaner idea's mentioned) but to be fair it was a dull Saturday night at work!
I did tell Ross I was going to diss him on here for his refusal to take part in anything more outrageous than dying his hair but I'm not going to. Instead I'm going to give him a different challenge. I've not yet finally decided what it'll be but it will be in relation to the written word in order to be useful as well as humorous to me. If he doesn't take the challenge I will make it my mission to ridicule him publicly on here and if that invloves raiding his Momma's photo album for 70's horror pictures of him then so be it!
So darling Ross, to accept the challenge or not?
I will let you all know what I decide and if pussy boy accepts the challenge!
Jenny xx
Reaching Even Futher...
I'm getting fair global so I am.
I'm now spreading my words (and nonsense) to Italy, Spain, Singapore & Austria as well.
It amazes me what people will read!!
Jenny xx
I'm now spreading my words (and nonsense) to Italy, Spain, Singapore & Austria as well.
It amazes me what people will read!!
Jenny xx
Silence.
It is totally silent in my house just now.
Mum has taken 5 year old and 8 year old to stay the night and other half is at work. I have the house to myself and it's bliss.
I'm not working tonight so I've got a good few hours stretching out in front of me.
There's a warm bath with my name on, a chilled bottle of wine in the fridge just asking to be drunk and an Indian takeaway on my mind.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a few hours with my Sky+ and a comfy sofa before other half returns.
Jenny xx
Mum has taken 5 year old and 8 year old to stay the night and other half is at work. I have the house to myself and it's bliss.
I'm not working tonight so I've got a good few hours stretching out in front of me.
There's a warm bath with my name on, a chilled bottle of wine in the fridge just asking to be drunk and an Indian takeaway on my mind.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a few hours with my Sky+ and a comfy sofa before other half returns.
Jenny xx
Is It Wrong...
For me to be sitting here laughing out loud at my kids.
They are currently in the lounge, owing to the fact that it is pissing down, playing Madagascar on the Playstation. All I can hear is "oh not again", "I hate this game" and the occasional cry of "help", as they struggle to complete the levels.
It's making me laugh no end to hear the frustration in their little voices! Evil? maybe. A bad mother? possibly. Smug because I've completed it? You betcha!
Jenny xx
They are currently in the lounge, owing to the fact that it is pissing down, playing Madagascar on the Playstation. All I can hear is "oh not again", "I hate this game" and the occasional cry of "help", as they struggle to complete the levels.
It's making me laugh no end to hear the frustration in their little voices! Evil? maybe. A bad mother? possibly. Smug because I've completed it? You betcha!
Jenny xx
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Change Of Lifestyle...
So I have realised that as I am now 31, and given most of my family have died before 70, I am to all intents and purposes about halfway through my life.
The last 6 years have seen me contented with my lot and contentment has brought with it the expansion of my waistline and the knowledge that if I am pissed off I can eat a six pack of Walkers crisps in one sitting.
No more.
I have decided enough is enough and I am going to start eating healthily. Ok so part of this is a bid to regain some the energy I had at 19 when I could drink 8 vodka's, dance for hours on end and still go to work at 6am having had 4 hours sleep. I have been blessed with skin that is holding it's age well, no wrinkles yet, but I have the health of a delapitated old bag. In any event the shock that I am approaching middle age is scary. I would like to make it 70 just for the hell of it!
So I am going to make a big effort. I've decided to go with the Mckeith plan, after all you are what you eat. Should be a challenge as I am a vegetarian who does not like any veg except for peas, lettuce, cucumber and potatoes and Dr Gillian is big on veg!
So from Monday I am a new woman. It's out with the pot noodles, pasta and Walkers and in with sesame seeds, veggies and fish. Sounds bloody wonderful. Not!
Och well we'll see how it goes. I may even decide it's time to give up the evil weed, but all in good time. I'll be so bloody stressed eating green food I will need a ciggy to keep me sane.
I will let you know how it goes.
Jenny xx
The last 6 years have seen me contented with my lot and contentment has brought with it the expansion of my waistline and the knowledge that if I am pissed off I can eat a six pack of Walkers crisps in one sitting.
No more.
I have decided enough is enough and I am going to start eating healthily. Ok so part of this is a bid to regain some the energy I had at 19 when I could drink 8 vodka's, dance for hours on end and still go to work at 6am having had 4 hours sleep. I have been blessed with skin that is holding it's age well, no wrinkles yet, but I have the health of a delapitated old bag. In any event the shock that I am approaching middle age is scary. I would like to make it 70 just for the hell of it!
So I am going to make a big effort. I've decided to go with the Mckeith plan, after all you are what you eat. Should be a challenge as I am a vegetarian who does not like any veg except for peas, lettuce, cucumber and potatoes and Dr Gillian is big on veg!
So from Monday I am a new woman. It's out with the pot noodles, pasta and Walkers and in with sesame seeds, veggies and fish. Sounds bloody wonderful. Not!
Och well we'll see how it goes. I may even decide it's time to give up the evil weed, but all in good time. I'll be so bloody stressed eating green food I will need a ciggy to keep me sane.
I will let you know how it goes.
Jenny xx
Playstation Addict...
I have an addictive personality...it's one of the reasons I steer clear of drugs as much as possible - I would become a hopeless junkie. My addictions in the past have ranged from Nicotine (still suffering!) to Take That!
I also have a habit of becoming totally addicted to my Playstation and when a new game appears in the house I am compelled to keep the damn thing on until I complete the game.
For the last 2 days I have been sitting for hours on end in front of a 42" tv playing Madagascar on the ps2! Enbarrasing choice of game I agree but I haven't half enjoyed the trials and tribulations of Alex, Gloria, Marty and Melman.
I am pleased to say I have now completed it in full. I can now wean myself off the playstation and resume my life!
Jenny xx
I also have a habit of becoming totally addicted to my Playstation and when a new game appears in the house I am compelled to keep the damn thing on until I complete the game.
For the last 2 days I have been sitting for hours on end in front of a 42" tv playing Madagascar on the ps2! Enbarrasing choice of game I agree but I haven't half enjoyed the trials and tribulations of Alex, Gloria, Marty and Melman.
I am pleased to say I have now completed it in full. I can now wean myself off the playstation and resume my life!
Jenny xx
People I'd Like To Be Stuck In A Lift With...
Crikey there's a thing to ponder. I am allowed to choose 10 people (living or dead) but you base it on being alone with them in the lift, so here's my ten... I might just add that had I actually given this much thought the list would look massively different I suspect but anyway...
1. My Better Half - We'd have a laugh and there's a few things I can think of to do to pass 5 minutes!
2. Madonna - She could sing to me or recite her children's books, failing that she could teache me a bit of yoga, she's a big heroine of mine so I'd like to meet her.
3. Robbie Williams - He can sit and sing Angels to me for hours on end! Plus he's got a great sense of humour and a deep side to make talking intresting. Oh and I'd like to jump his bones!
4. Peter Kay - How much fun in one small space? I might pee my pants though which wouldn't be good in a confined space.
5. Marilyn Monroe - I've probably read almost every book ever written about her - I'd love to talk to her.
6. Frank Sinatra - I expect he'd have a few tales to tell to pass the time.
7. Donkey From Shrek - Yes I know he's not real but this is my blog ok? Anyway Donkey would be a riot!
8. My Sister - We can talk absolute rubbish for hours on the phone so passing time would be a doddle and she can be every bit as daft as me so we'd do alright!
9. Homer Simpson - The best philosopher ever.
10. My Dad - I have a few questions for him let me tell you and it would be the best thing ever to see him again!
Jenny xx
1. My Better Half - We'd have a laugh and there's a few things I can think of to do to pass 5 minutes!
2. Madonna - She could sing to me or recite her children's books, failing that she could teache me a bit of yoga, she's a big heroine of mine so I'd like to meet her.
3. Robbie Williams - He can sit and sing Angels to me for hours on end! Plus he's got a great sense of humour and a deep side to make talking intresting. Oh and I'd like to jump his bones!
4. Peter Kay - How much fun in one small space? I might pee my pants though which wouldn't be good in a confined space.
5. Marilyn Monroe - I've probably read almost every book ever written about her - I'd love to talk to her.
6. Frank Sinatra - I expect he'd have a few tales to tell to pass the time.
7. Donkey From Shrek - Yes I know he's not real but this is my blog ok? Anyway Donkey would be a riot!
8. My Sister - We can talk absolute rubbish for hours on the phone so passing time would be a doddle and she can be every bit as daft as me so we'd do alright!
9. Homer Simpson - The best philosopher ever.
10. My Dad - I have a few questions for him let me tell you and it would be the best thing ever to see him again!
Jenny xx
Music...Universally Blogged.
I've spent the last hour randomly reading through various other blogs and out of the 13 I just looked at 9 of them had a post about what music the blogger was listening to. Why should I be any different then?
My music tastes are wide and include everything from 80's Hi-nrg to Classical with many a pit stop at the hip-hop, dance, rock and ballad artists along the way!
So here's what is currently playing through the house while I sit here (or do the ironing!)...
Damien Rice - The Blowers Daughter
The Killers - Hot Fuss
James Blunt - You're Beautiful
Kaiser Chiefs - Everyday I lLove You Less And Less & I Predict A Riot
Green Day - Wake Me Up When September Ends & Boulevard Of Broken Dreams
The Proclaimers - Greatest Hits
Snoop Dogg - Signs, Drop It Like It's Hot, Ain't No Fun (if the homies can't have none)
The Rasmus - In The Shadows
Wu Tang Clan - Gravel Pit
Rob Thomas - Lonely No More
Sanata & Rob Thomas - Smooth
50 Cent - Disco Inferno & Candy Store
Gwen Stefani - Hollaback Girl & What You Waiting For
William Orbit - Barbers Adagio For Strings
Thin Lizzy - Parisenne Walkways
Richard Ashcroft - Song For The Lovers
Snow Patrol - Run
Grandmaster Flash - White Lines (don't do it)
So that's about it for this week...recommendations always welcome!
Jenny xx
My music tastes are wide and include everything from 80's Hi-nrg to Classical with many a pit stop at the hip-hop, dance, rock and ballad artists along the way!
So here's what is currently playing through the house while I sit here (or do the ironing!)...
Damien Rice - The Blowers Daughter
The Killers - Hot Fuss
James Blunt - You're Beautiful
Kaiser Chiefs - Everyday I lLove You Less And Less & I Predict A Riot
Green Day - Wake Me Up When September Ends & Boulevard Of Broken Dreams
The Proclaimers - Greatest Hits
Snoop Dogg - Signs, Drop It Like It's Hot, Ain't No Fun (if the homies can't have none)
The Rasmus - In The Shadows
Wu Tang Clan - Gravel Pit
Rob Thomas - Lonely No More
Sanata & Rob Thomas - Smooth
50 Cent - Disco Inferno & Candy Store
Gwen Stefani - Hollaback Girl & What You Waiting For
William Orbit - Barbers Adagio For Strings
Thin Lizzy - Parisenne Walkways
Richard Ashcroft - Song For The Lovers
Snow Patrol - Run
Grandmaster Flash - White Lines (don't do it)
So that's about it for this week...recommendations always welcome!
Jenny xx
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
How Hard Can It Be?
I've never been one of those women who desperately wanted to have a blossoming career. I've never had huge ambitions I felt a desire to fill workwise. I wanted to be an air hostess as a little girl, mistakenly thinking it was glamorous and latterly towards my teens I wanted to be a journalist perhaps moving to tv and reading the news! Something happened to change that though and that thing was fate...Fate intervened and instead of pursuing University I ended up taking time out after school and found myself a year later working in a plastic factory! Of course had I not followed this route I would never have met my future Husband nor had my Daughter. Obviously, Husband is now ex-husband but shit happens! I am a firm believer in fate and trust my belief that if something is meant to be it will be, if not then it ain't gonna happen. Maybe this is why I never really have regrets about anything.
Despite the slight change in plans over the years (slight change? top tv journalist to Mum of two and part-time Barmaid!) I still have one ambition which has stayed with me since I was about 9 years old. I would love to write a book.
I wonder how many other thousands of people have that ambition in them? I was a big reader as a child, always had my nose in a book and things haven't changed any. If I get some free time I can always be found curled up on the sofa or in the garden with a book in hand. I haven't pledged alligance to any particular genre either. I will read almost anything and everything perhaps with the exception of sci-fi which I'm not too keen on and I may have a bit of a leaning towards biographies but only because I'm nosy!
I loved English at school and enjoyed all the book reports that everyone else hated! I even enjoyed studying Shakespeare. I think I am the only person I know who actually looked forward to their higher English!
So with one amibition I would indeed like to fullfill I find myself wondering, how hard can it be?
I have given the matter some thought over the years and have come up with a few ideas but they're just not right...yet. Maybe one day I'll get the right idea for a story and the rest will flow naturally. Aye right, not likely! They do say that you should write about what you know though and witha life and family like mine I reckon there's a book in there somewhere!
So watch this space and who knows one day I may just be telling you I've written a book!
Jenny xx
Despite the slight change in plans over the years (slight change? top tv journalist to Mum of two and part-time Barmaid!) I still have one ambition which has stayed with me since I was about 9 years old. I would love to write a book.
I wonder how many other thousands of people have that ambition in them? I was a big reader as a child, always had my nose in a book and things haven't changed any. If I get some free time I can always be found curled up on the sofa or in the garden with a book in hand. I haven't pledged alligance to any particular genre either. I will read almost anything and everything perhaps with the exception of sci-fi which I'm not too keen on and I may have a bit of a leaning towards biographies but only because I'm nosy!
I loved English at school and enjoyed all the book reports that everyone else hated! I even enjoyed studying Shakespeare. I think I am the only person I know who actually looked forward to their higher English!
So with one amibition I would indeed like to fullfill I find myself wondering, how hard can it be?
I have given the matter some thought over the years and have come up with a few ideas but they're just not right...yet. Maybe one day I'll get the right idea for a story and the rest will flow naturally. Aye right, not likely! They do say that you should write about what you know though and witha life and family like mine I reckon there's a book in there somewhere!
So watch this space and who knows one day I may just be telling you I've written a book!
Jenny xx
He Cracks Me Up...
I couldn't not post this...
This is Dean, my Nephew partaking of a little dancing yesterday at 5 year old's Birthday. All he needs is a whistle and a light stick and he'd be just fine! The fairy cakes at yesterday's party were from Asda and to my knowledge they only contained a few E numbers not actual Ecstasy but judging by the picture...
This is Dean, my Nephew partaking of a little dancing yesterday at 5 year old's Birthday. All he needs is a whistle and a light stick and he'd be just fine! The fairy cakes at yesterday's party were from Asda and to my knowledge they only contained a few E numbers not actual Ecstasy but judging by the picture...
This boy just cracks me up!
Jenny xx
Happy Birthday 5 Year Old...
Yesterday 4 year old became 5 year old. 5 years old? Christ where does the time go?
Anyway, in accordance with the then 4 year old's wishes, his 5th birthday was a themed tea party. The theme he had chosen was Batman...much to the annoyance of 8 year old sister who was hoping for fairies or princesses!
The table was decked out in all things Batman from cups to tablecloth and 5 year old sat happily munching cakes, rolls and sweets while wearing his new Batman costume! His guests included his cousins and his best friends. Music was played on demand from the kids and as a result we had a fair bit of singing loudly, dancing like they were being electrocuted, and lots of hands in the air type moves to such classics as Crazy Frog, Hey Baby and the Grease Megamix! Lovely.
Within 30 minutes of the feeding commencing my kitchen floor was strewn with party poppers, various shades of icing and half eaten ham rolls and my neighbours were no doubt demented at trying to eat their dinner while their ears were being assaulted by the strains of the kids singing "ooh, aah" loudly.
However, birthday's come but once a year and being 5 is something to celebrate. So after they had eaten, drunk and been merry they were dispatched to the street to play clutching party bags and Batman masks, while I went for the hoover to begin operation party aftermath!
I am now cleared of birthday party duties until November when 8 year old becomes 9 year old and Princesses and Fairies take Batman's place at the table!
Happy Birthday 5 year old!!
Jenny xx
Anyway, in accordance with the then 4 year old's wishes, his 5th birthday was a themed tea party. The theme he had chosen was Batman...much to the annoyance of 8 year old sister who was hoping for fairies or princesses!
The table was decked out in all things Batman from cups to tablecloth and 5 year old sat happily munching cakes, rolls and sweets while wearing his new Batman costume! His guests included his cousins and his best friends. Music was played on demand from the kids and as a result we had a fair bit of singing loudly, dancing like they were being electrocuted, and lots of hands in the air type moves to such classics as Crazy Frog, Hey Baby and the Grease Megamix! Lovely.
Within 30 minutes of the feeding commencing my kitchen floor was strewn with party poppers, various shades of icing and half eaten ham rolls and my neighbours were no doubt demented at trying to eat their dinner while their ears were being assaulted by the strains of the kids singing "ooh, aah" loudly.
However, birthday's come but once a year and being 5 is something to celebrate. So after they had eaten, drunk and been merry they were dispatched to the street to play clutching party bags and Batman masks, while I went for the hoover to begin operation party aftermath!
I am now cleared of birthday party duties until November when 8 year old becomes 9 year old and Princesses and Fairies take Batman's place at the table!
Happy Birthday 5 year old!!
Jenny xx
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Pulsating & Throbbing...
A part of my body is doing both right now.
No not that part!!! I'm talking about my head.
I have now had a headache for 3 days on and off and it's doing my head in, so to speak!
It has been coming and going and has now settled into my forehead nicely and obviously likes my forehead enough to have decided to squat there for the time being...
I manged to kick it's ass a little yesterday with the help of dihydrocodine and a dark room but the little bugger came back this morning when the drugs wore off!
As I need to drive into work tonight for a boring old staff meeting I am refraining from taking any more tablets until I return. If I did take them, then drive, there's every chance I wouldn't make it to work at all but would be in a wrecked car in a ditch somewhere off a country road!!!
So for now it's me and my headache, a cup of tea and a peaceful few hours...
Jenny xx
No not that part!!! I'm talking about my head.
I have now had a headache for 3 days on and off and it's doing my head in, so to speak!
It has been coming and going and has now settled into my forehead nicely and obviously likes my forehead enough to have decided to squat there for the time being...
I manged to kick it's ass a little yesterday with the help of dihydrocodine and a dark room but the little bugger came back this morning when the drugs wore off!
As I need to drive into work tonight for a boring old staff meeting I am refraining from taking any more tablets until I return. If I did take them, then drive, there's every chance I wouldn't make it to work at all but would be in a wrecked car in a ditch somewhere off a country road!!!
So for now it's me and my headache, a cup of tea and a peaceful few hours...
Jenny xx
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Reaching Other Regions...
I am surprised to see that I am currently being read by people from further afield than Edinburgh!
I am now reaching people in United States, South Africa, Japan, Hong Kong, Portugal, Australia and the United Arab Emirates...
It's a small world really ain't it?
As my knowledge of foreign languages is limited to a sprinkling of French, a dash of German and enough Spanish to eat, drink, get merry, find my way home, find an emergency exit and pass the time of day...I can only say Cheers for reading and have a nice day!
Jenny xx
I am now reaching people in United States, South Africa, Japan, Hong Kong, Portugal, Australia and the United Arab Emirates...
It's a small world really ain't it?
As my knowledge of foreign languages is limited to a sprinkling of French, a dash of German and enough Spanish to eat, drink, get merry, find my way home, find an emergency exit and pass the time of day...I can only say Cheers for reading and have a nice day!
Jenny xx
Always...
You never said I'm leaving
You never said Goodbye
You were gone before we knew it
And God alone knows why
A million times since We've needed you
A million times since we've cried
If love alone could save you
We know you'd never have died
It broke our hearts to lose you
But you did not go alone
For part of us went with you Dad
When the angels called you home
To our beautiful, funny, loving Dad...
Always remembered, always missed, always loved...
God bless, God love, God look after...
Jenny & Gill
RIP.
XX
You never said Goodbye
You were gone before we knew it
And God alone knows why
A million times since We've needed you
A million times since we've cried
If love alone could save you
We know you'd never have died
It broke our hearts to lose you
But you did not go alone
For part of us went with you Dad
When the angels called you home
To our beautiful, funny, loving Dad...
Always remembered, always missed, always loved...
God bless, God love, God look after...
Jenny & Gill
RIP.
XX
Dad...
It is a year ago today since my Dad died.
The year has passed with incredible speed.
When you experience the death of a very close loved one you go through a number of emotions.
Grief, regret, anger, sorrow, hurt, resentment, wishful thinking, numbness...to name but a few. It is true that time eases the pain, you smile again, you move on with your life, carry on with the day to day stuff and make plans for the future. It is also true though that many of the feelings you felt at the time never go away. They stay with you in a somewhat milder form...but they are always there.
I long ago got my head around the realities involved in my Dad's death. I got to grips very quickly with the fact that he had gone and was not coming back. I no longer expect to see him, I no longer expect him to appear at my door for a visit, I no longer expect him to answer the phone when I ring Mum. However, having the reality sorted in your head does not stop your imagination running away...
I still wish he'd appear at the door for a visit, still wish h'd answer the phone when I ring...
I still feel the anger, sorrow, regret...More than anything though I feel cheated.
Jenny xx
Friday, July 15, 2005
Never Mind Jenny May...There's A Virus On The Loose!!
There is a virus thingy running riot. I know not where it came from, nor how it began but it's here and it's spreading!
So far I have heard of 5 cases in 3 days...
Reported symptoms so far include shitting , spewing, dizziness, stomach cramps, headaches, loss of balance, loss of appetite, nausea and extreme thirst.
Tonight my poor wee Mum became the latest addition to the ranks. Wee Sis has just reported in that she had to collect Mum and take her home to bed as she "looked bloody awful" and "was doubled up".
Although not a Doctor myself...I have deduced that there appears to be a common link. That link is the bowling club in which I work. Another 2 staff members have reportedly been stricken with said virus thingy and the other is a member of said bowling club along with my Mum...
Could it be that the problem lies then within the bowling club? Me thinks maybe it could. Perhaps we are being poisoned by the very drinks we sell!! Perhaps there's something in the water? Perhaps boss man is trying to kill us off? Perhaps we are the victims of a germ warfare terrorist attack? Crikey!!!
I shall keep a close eye on developments...
How I love to dramatise everything ...
Anyhow to those like myself who are feeling not quite themselves at the moment, get well soon.
Jenny xx
So far I have heard of 5 cases in 3 days...
Reported symptoms so far include shitting , spewing, dizziness, stomach cramps, headaches, loss of balance, loss of appetite, nausea and extreme thirst.
Tonight my poor wee Mum became the latest addition to the ranks. Wee Sis has just reported in that she had to collect Mum and take her home to bed as she "looked bloody awful" and "was doubled up".
Although not a Doctor myself...I have deduced that there appears to be a common link. That link is the bowling club in which I work. Another 2 staff members have reportedly been stricken with said virus thingy and the other is a member of said bowling club along with my Mum...
Could it be that the problem lies then within the bowling club? Me thinks maybe it could. Perhaps we are being poisoned by the very drinks we sell!! Perhaps there's something in the water? Perhaps boss man is trying to kill us off? Perhaps we are the victims of a germ warfare terrorist attack? Crikey!!!
I shall keep a close eye on developments...
How I love to dramatise everything ...
Anyhow to those like myself who are feeling not quite themselves at the moment, get well soon.
Jenny xx
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Summer Fun...
Dragged myself up and out to the beach yesterday. It was hoochin' as you would expect on the hottest day of the year so far. I wasn't really up for it having been feeling a bit ill in recent days (for ill read wishing it was raining and windy so I could lie in bed all day, eating soup and not feel I was missing anything) but quite frankly with 2 kids climbing the walls for fun and 4 weeks left of the holidays it seemed the best idea.
The sea was full of people and they weren't just paddling as they usually do during a Scottish summer, given the sea is normally cold enough to freeze your extremities, they were actually swimming, playing on lilo's and blow up boats just like they do on their package holidays to Spain!
I was seriously tempted to wade in up to my neck and swim with them. I had come prepared with swimming attitre underneath my skirt and vest but the thought of inflicting my semi naked body on these happy people enjoying their day stopped me! I settled for a wade up to my bum.
Later at home a few kids in the street had their water toys out - paddling pools were seen and a few of them has this thing you attach to a hose which then sprays water up in the air, kind of a poor version of kids playing at a NYC Hydrant. Later water balloons appeared and water guns...not little pistols like when I was little but massive big super soakers that fire 30 0r 40 feet.
The kids were soaking, the street was soaking, cars were soaking, people coming home from work in suits were soaked walking from the bus stop...and I live in a quiet cul-de-sac!
Everyone was in fine form about it though. I watched from the window for a while and had the overwhelming urge to join in but really a 31 year old mother against a bunch of 4-12 year olds...I wouldn't stand a chance!!
Nothing makes me happier than seeing my kids and other peoples kids running about playing and laughing. Yesterday eveining (and again at this exact moment) the street was a playground for the kids. Playstations and computers forgotten about, kids out playing, getting fresh air and enjoying the sunshine.
Anyway...I'm thinking I will join in today. They may have super soakers but I have a hose!
Jenny xx
The sea was full of people and they weren't just paddling as they usually do during a Scottish summer, given the sea is normally cold enough to freeze your extremities, they were actually swimming, playing on lilo's and blow up boats just like they do on their package holidays to Spain!
I was seriously tempted to wade in up to my neck and swim with them. I had come prepared with swimming attitre underneath my skirt and vest but the thought of inflicting my semi naked body on these happy people enjoying their day stopped me! I settled for a wade up to my bum.
Later at home a few kids in the street had their water toys out - paddling pools were seen and a few of them has this thing you attach to a hose which then sprays water up in the air, kind of a poor version of kids playing at a NYC Hydrant. Later water balloons appeared and water guns...not little pistols like when I was little but massive big super soakers that fire 30 0r 40 feet.
The kids were soaking, the street was soaking, cars were soaking, people coming home from work in suits were soaked walking from the bus stop...and I live in a quiet cul-de-sac!
Everyone was in fine form about it though. I watched from the window for a while and had the overwhelming urge to join in but really a 31 year old mother against a bunch of 4-12 year olds...I wouldn't stand a chance!!
Nothing makes me happier than seeing my kids and other peoples kids running about playing and laughing. Yesterday eveining (and again at this exact moment) the street was a playground for the kids. Playstations and computers forgotten about, kids out playing, getting fresh air and enjoying the sunshine.
Anyway...I'm thinking I will join in today. They may have super soakers but I have a hose!
Jenny xx
A Strange Feeling...
I'm in a strange mood at the moment.
I'm putting it down to the fact that in a week from today will be the anniversary of Dad's death. One year passed since we last saw him.
I can't put my finger on the mood that's grabbed me. I'm not angry, snappy or bitching. I'm more thoughtful, quiet and feeling a real need not to sit doing nothing but to keep busy.
I think about Dad a lot, always have since he died but I am more of an optimist than a pesimist and because of this I stay positive and my thoughts of him over the last 11 months have been the good ones, the fond memories, the times we all laughed together and the silly things he would say. No thoughts there to hurt or make me sad, just memories of good times.
Just now though my thoughts are more negative, how I haven't seen him, spoke to him or heard his voice for a year. How I waved to him from a window the last day I saw him rather than get up and go down to speak to him in person. How my son starts school in a month and he won't be there at the gates with me, video camera in hand and proud as punch. Of course because it is the anniversary of his death (not for example his birthday) I am thinking of what happened a year ago - to all the feelings I had this time last year, anger, grief, shock, anger, anger & anger.
It is a strange feeling for me not to be able to dispell the negative feelings for positive ones but being Jenny I can assure you I will be back on form by next week, the one next week smiling, joking, relaying tales of my Dad with my Sister and Mum, both of whom have the enviable ability to cry and be sad and grieve freely, which I do not.
My Sister read a "star sign" thing about my sign - Aires - which said "give them a major issue to deal with like a death and they cope with ease, tell them they've got a flat tyre and they fall to pieces"!! This about sums me up to be fair. So I will tolerate my funny mood and see how it goes.
Jenny xx
I'm putting it down to the fact that in a week from today will be the anniversary of Dad's death. One year passed since we last saw him.
I can't put my finger on the mood that's grabbed me. I'm not angry, snappy or bitching. I'm more thoughtful, quiet and feeling a real need not to sit doing nothing but to keep busy.
I think about Dad a lot, always have since he died but I am more of an optimist than a pesimist and because of this I stay positive and my thoughts of him over the last 11 months have been the good ones, the fond memories, the times we all laughed together and the silly things he would say. No thoughts there to hurt or make me sad, just memories of good times.
Just now though my thoughts are more negative, how I haven't seen him, spoke to him or heard his voice for a year. How I waved to him from a window the last day I saw him rather than get up and go down to speak to him in person. How my son starts school in a month and he won't be there at the gates with me, video camera in hand and proud as punch. Of course because it is the anniversary of his death (not for example his birthday) I am thinking of what happened a year ago - to all the feelings I had this time last year, anger, grief, shock, anger, anger & anger.
It is a strange feeling for me not to be able to dispell the negative feelings for positive ones but being Jenny I can assure you I will be back on form by next week, the one next week smiling, joking, relaying tales of my Dad with my Sister and Mum, both of whom have the enviable ability to cry and be sad and grieve freely, which I do not.
My Sister read a "star sign" thing about my sign - Aires - which said "give them a major issue to deal with like a death and they cope with ease, tell them they've got a flat tyre and they fall to pieces"!! This about sums me up to be fair. So I will tolerate my funny mood and see how it goes.
Jenny xx
Friday, July 08, 2005
Nothing To Say...
So I have been told to write on here but I am all out of stuff to write. I could write about London and the bombings but I can't be arsed. I could write more about starving Africans but I've said enough on that...so what's a girl to do when she runs out of things to write about?
Well how about I show you something instead? How about I show you what I look like?
Quite cute ain't I? I know what your thinking...how clever I am, how you've never seen a 2 year old write so well and have such opinions!!! Well I may be disappointing you but the little girl here is now 29 years older than when this photo was taken!!
To be fair though I haven't changed too much. Still occasionally need to hold onto a wall to stabilise myself!!
Still have the same fat legs!! Although I wouldn't be seen dead in those shoes nowadays but I can assure you they would have been all the rage in 1976!!
Jenny xx
Well how about I show you something instead? How about I show you what I look like?
Quite cute ain't I? I know what your thinking...how clever I am, how you've never seen a 2 year old write so well and have such opinions!!! Well I may be disappointing you but the little girl here is now 29 years older than when this photo was taken!!
To be fair though I haven't changed too much. Still occasionally need to hold onto a wall to stabilise myself!!
Still have the same fat legs!! Although I wouldn't be seen dead in those shoes nowadays but I can assure you they would have been all the rage in 1976!!
Jenny xx
I'm Embarrassed...
and ashamed to say I've been driving about in a Nissan Micra in the last few days.
Those of you who know me will understand I have a deep loathing of these cars which borders on an obesession.
The reason for my driving this hideous piece of machinery is that I am without car and it's all that is available to me!! (thank you deeply to my Mum!!).
Anyhow despite Micra driver's trying to persuade me that they are indeed good cars this is bullshit...I mean what sort of car doesn't have a clock in it?? Or for that matter intermittent on their window wipers?? Not that I'm boasting but my car not only has intermittent but 4 speeds of intermittent.
Ok so I'm a car snob but really I consider myself lucky that the Micra even has wheels and pedals.
Jenny xx
Those of you who know me will understand I have a deep loathing of these cars which borders on an obesession.
The reason for my driving this hideous piece of machinery is that I am without car and it's all that is available to me!! (thank you deeply to my Mum!!).
Anyhow despite Micra driver's trying to persuade me that they are indeed good cars this is bullshit...I mean what sort of car doesn't have a clock in it?? Or for that matter intermittent on their window wipers?? Not that I'm boasting but my car not only has intermittent but 4 speeds of intermittent.
Ok so I'm a car snob but really I consider myself lucky that the Micra even has wheels and pedals.
Jenny xx
I Told You So...
Didn't I tell you all to stay in during July??? Didn't I???
I warned you it was freaky month of misfortune. Riots, Bombing, Natasha Bedingfield in Edinburgh...the month just gets worse.
Jenny xx
I warned you it was freaky month of misfortune. Riots, Bombing, Natasha Bedingfield in Edinburgh...the month just gets worse.
Jenny xx
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
A Thankless Job..
Edinburgh is at the centre of a lot of media intrest lately with the G8 about to land on our doorstep.
The press have descended in droves and police presence in the city is high. The powers that be are on alert for and expecting trouble as various protest groups make their way to the city to make their various points known. Previous G8 summits have seen violence and confrontation and this one is not expected to be any different.
There will be many people involved with the summit and the hue and cry surrounding it, from civil servants and road workers to judges and the military. Many will carry out their normal tasks, some will be doing extra duties, many will recieve praise and fat cat bonuses for their roles, most will not and for one lot of workers their role will prove thankless. These workers are the Police.
They will have a fairly huge role to play in all of this. As well as dealing with security issues at Gleneagles itself they are also dealing with large numbers of protesters in and around the area as well as the Live 8 events taking place.
Already we are hearing them criticised for their handling of yesterday's demonstation in Edinburgh. How many more times I wonder will we hear this in the next week.
No matter what they did it would be wrong...if they were too lenient and trouble erupted and damage was caused they'd be shot down...if they are heavy handed to prevent trouble they are shot down.
There is a fine line between friendly protest and troublesome protest and I know this first hand having been on a few myself. It doesn't help of course when many are on the street not to demonstate at all but only to goad the police into a reaction anyway.
As for the narrow minded few who resent their right to overtime payments...why the hell not! We all expect to be paid for the hours we work don't we?
I once considered a career in the Police force but I knew I would not be able to shut my face while some idiot stood calling me names or telling me to fuck off. I'm not sure many of us could.
I wish them every sucess with their thankless job over the next week or so.
Jenny xx
The press have descended in droves and police presence in the city is high. The powers that be are on alert for and expecting trouble as various protest groups make their way to the city to make their various points known. Previous G8 summits have seen violence and confrontation and this one is not expected to be any different.
There will be many people involved with the summit and the hue and cry surrounding it, from civil servants and road workers to judges and the military. Many will carry out their normal tasks, some will be doing extra duties, many will recieve praise and fat cat bonuses for their roles, most will not and for one lot of workers their role will prove thankless. These workers are the Police.
They will have a fairly huge role to play in all of this. As well as dealing with security issues at Gleneagles itself they are also dealing with large numbers of protesters in and around the area as well as the Live 8 events taking place.
Already we are hearing them criticised for their handling of yesterday's demonstation in Edinburgh. How many more times I wonder will we hear this in the next week.
No matter what they did it would be wrong...if they were too lenient and trouble erupted and damage was caused they'd be shot down...if they are heavy handed to prevent trouble they are shot down.
There is a fine line between friendly protest and troublesome protest and I know this first hand having been on a few myself. It doesn't help of course when many are on the street not to demonstate at all but only to goad the police into a reaction anyway.
As for the narrow minded few who resent their right to overtime payments...why the hell not! We all expect to be paid for the hours we work don't we?
I once considered a career in the Police force but I knew I would not be able to shut my face while some idiot stood calling me names or telling me to fuck off. I'm not sure many of us could.
I wish them every sucess with their thankless job over the next week or so.
Jenny xx
Sunday, July 03, 2005
War Of The Worlds...
Went to see it today and it's bloody good!
Prepare to suspend belief a little in places (I won't spoil it for you!!) but Tom Cruise is brilliant as is his daughter in the film.
The effects are huge and as I hadn't a bloody clue was was going to happen being unfamilar with the story I was a bit taken aback at the ending!! There are a few humourous moments but it certainly isn't Independence Day...which I also loved!!
Anyway go see it or get it from the back of a lorry on pirate dvd (not that I'm condoning that of course!!) Actually it will be one of those films that's better on the big screen.
Well worth my £4.20!
Jenny xx
Prepare to suspend belief a little in places (I won't spoil it for you!!) but Tom Cruise is brilliant as is his daughter in the film.
The effects are huge and as I hadn't a bloody clue was was going to happen being unfamilar with the story I was a bit taken aback at the ending!! There are a few humourous moments but it certainly isn't Independence Day...which I also loved!!
Anyway go see it or get it from the back of a lorry on pirate dvd (not that I'm condoning that of course!!) Actually it will be one of those films that's better on the big screen.
Well worth my £4.20!
Jenny xx
And They Marched...
In Edinburgh...
but I'm not going to write about it. Go look at Ross' blog and read about it there where he has summed the day up nicely.
Jenny xx
but I'm not going to write about it. Go look at Ross' blog and read about it there where he has summed the day up nicely.
Jenny xx
Live 8...
I watched along with an estimated 3 billion others as some of the best known artists took to various stages around the globe to show support in the campaign to make poverty history. There was a wealth of talent on display from those old enough to have performed at Live Aid to those who weren't even born then!
Concerts were being held all over the place. Japan made do with McFly and Bjork, Canada had Barenaked Ladies and Bryan Adams, Moscow had a full set from Pet Shop Boys and not much else...Paris really only had The Cure that were of any intrest to me, Berlin faired better having the fantastic Faithless as well as Green Day and Roxy Music and Philly put on a line up that included Bon Jovi, Detsiny's Child, Linkin Park, Maroon 5, the utterly gorgeous Rob Thomas and our very own Kaiser Chiefs but without doubt the pick of the talent was at Hyde Park in London were almost 250,000 people saw some great acts and some not so great acts!
Here's how they lined up for London...
U2, Coldplay & Richard Ashcroft, Elton John, Dido, Stereophonics, REM, Ms Dynamite, Keane, Travis, Bob Geldof, Annie Lennox, UB40, Snoop Dogg, Razorlight, Madonna, The Killers, Joss Stone, Scissor Sisters, Velvet Revolver, Sting, Mariah Carey, Robbie Williams, The Who, Pink Floyd and finally Paul McCartney.
U2's opener was as usual a great live performance from them.
They sang the crowd pleasers and Bono even managed a fetching rendition of Unchained Melody which the crowd happily joined in with.
Coldplay followed and also played a great set including one of my highlights when they were joined on stage by in Chris Martin's words "the best singer ever" Richard Ashcroft to sing "the best song ever written" Bittersweet Symphony. I really like Richard Ashcroft and The Verve so I enjoyed this bit!
Elton John was a bit disappointing...given the back catalogue he has he didn't sing his best stuff. Dido who was up next looked great and did a few well known numbers. The Stereophonics then came on to fly the flag for Wales and did a great job. They got the crowd singing and clapping.
Ricky Gervais came on to give us a dance before introducing REM who performed my favourite track by them Everybody Hurts. Michael Stipe looked brilliant in matching eye stripe and shirt!
Ms Dynamite ain't my cup of tea and I used her set to make a much needed loo stop and cup of tea! She was followed by Keane who again did a good set and although they are a bit boring to watch they will have pleased their fans.
Travis were next and again played a great set and played the crowd pleasers, the audience singing along to Why Does It Always Rain On Me and waving their umbrella's!!
Bob Geldof gate-crashed the party next giving us a quick song in the way of I Don't Like Mondays. You couldn't really grudge him his wee moment! Brad Pitt then came on stage to say a few words and introduce Annie Lennox who was brilliant and got the crowd singing along to Sweet Dreams. UB40 were alright but as someone who used to be quite a fan they could have chosen better songs!
My second big highlight was next as Snoop Dogg took to the stage with posse and dancers! Utterly brilliant...just the thought of how
the BBC bosses faces must have been as he asked the crowd to put their motherfucking hands up during a daytime broadcast made it great tv...he got the crowd involved more than once asking them "what's my name?" before launching into the accompanying song.
Razorlight came next and did their profile a fair bit of good by performing a good set. They were follwoed though by yet another big highlight for me...I again became that 11 year old girl who watched Live Aid desperately seeking Madonna. I'll be honest, she
disappointed me a little in 1985 but not in 2005. She was brilliant. She played the number ones, had the dancers and the choir and looked every bit as great as she did 20 years ago...you can tell I'm a big fan eh?
The Killers were next and I was disappointed on 2 fronts. I like them a lot but we only got one song and they played the wrong one!! Joss Stone followed them and again I felt the need to pee!
The Scissor Sisters did a great set, not as wacky as normal bu
t still
fantastic. Velvet Revolver came next and may have died a little as the Brits weren't sure of who they were. Sting came next and performed a few Police tracks looking better than he did when he forst sang them! Mariah Carey then took to the stage surrounded by the African Childrens Choir who were adorable...I can't stand Mariah Carey but I'd had a few glasses of wine by now and made it through her set spurned on by what was coming next!!
My dream sandwich appeared before me next...David Beckham arrived on stage to introduce Robbie Williams and as they hugged on stage all I could think was let me in the middle!! Anyway Robbie hand the crowd eating out of his hand in minutes, he did a set of four songs, got the crowd dancing & singing and was the only artist to go down and meet the crowd. He finished his set with Angels and the crowd were well pleased and sang along in full voice. Obviously when it comes to Robbie I am 31 going on 11!!!
Peter Kay appeared next and got the crowd singing amarillo and marching on the spot he should have had a band and Tony Christie and cracked on proper!
The long awaited return's of The Who and Pink Floyd followed and although they were all of Grandad age they showed they could still cut it with the young team and the corwd sang along and enjoyed a wee bit of history.
Paul McCartney came on to finish things off...the man may be an institution but everytime he appears on stage it's the same songs again and again. Get Back and Baby You Can Drive My Car are constants for him. Does he not realise he was part of the biggest pop group ever? There are millions who love The Beatles but the majority would love just for once to hear early Beatles numbers...it's guaranteed to get the crowd singing and dancing and eating out his hand and let's face it he's got a shit load of songs to choose from!! The night could have ended a bit better had they stuck to the original plan of singing John Lennons Imagine instead of the Na Na's from Hey Jude..but all in all it was a big sucess and a great line up.
Jenny xx
Concerts were being held all over the place. Japan made do with McFly and Bjork, Canada had Barenaked Ladies and Bryan Adams, Moscow had a full set from Pet Shop Boys and not much else...Paris really only had The Cure that were of any intrest to me, Berlin faired better having the fantastic Faithless as well as Green Day and Roxy Music and Philly put on a line up that included Bon Jovi, Detsiny's Child, Linkin Park, Maroon 5, the utterly gorgeous Rob Thomas and our very own Kaiser Chiefs but without doubt the pick of the talent was at Hyde Park in London were almost 250,000 people saw some great acts and some not so great acts!
Here's how they lined up for London...
U2, Coldplay & Richard Ashcroft, Elton John, Dido, Stereophonics, REM, Ms Dynamite, Keane, Travis, Bob Geldof, Annie Lennox, UB40, Snoop Dogg, Razorlight, Madonna, The Killers, Joss Stone, Scissor Sisters, Velvet Revolver, Sting, Mariah Carey, Robbie Williams, The Who, Pink Floyd and finally Paul McCartney.
U2's opener was as usual a great live performance from them.
They sang the crowd pleasers and Bono even managed a fetching rendition of Unchained Melody which the crowd happily joined in with.
Coldplay followed and also played a great set including one of my highlights when they were joined on stage by in Chris Martin's words "the best singer ever" Richard Ashcroft to sing "the best song ever written" Bittersweet Symphony. I really like Richard Ashcroft and The Verve so I enjoyed this bit!
Elton John was a bit disappointing...given the back catalogue he has he didn't sing his best stuff. Dido who was up next looked great and did a few well known numbers. The Stereophonics then came on to fly the flag for Wales and did a great job. They got the crowd singing and clapping.
Ricky Gervais came on to give us a dance before introducing REM who performed my favourite track by them Everybody Hurts. Michael Stipe looked brilliant in matching eye stripe and shirt!
Ms Dynamite ain't my cup of tea and I used her set to make a much needed loo stop and cup of tea! She was followed by Keane who again did a good set and although they are a bit boring to watch they will have pleased their fans.
Travis were next and again played a great set and played the crowd pleasers, the audience singing along to Why Does It Always Rain On Me and waving their umbrella's!!
Bob Geldof gate-crashed the party next giving us a quick song in the way of I Don't Like Mondays. You couldn't really grudge him his wee moment! Brad Pitt then came on stage to say a few words and introduce Annie Lennox who was brilliant and got the crowd singing along to Sweet Dreams. UB40 were alright but as someone who used to be quite a fan they could have chosen better songs!
My second big highlight was next as Snoop Dogg took to the stage with posse and dancers! Utterly brilliant...just the thought of how
the BBC bosses faces must have been as he asked the crowd to put their motherfucking hands up during a daytime broadcast made it great tv...he got the crowd involved more than once asking them "what's my name?" before launching into the accompanying song.
Razorlight came next and did their profile a fair bit of good by performing a good set. They were follwoed though by yet another big highlight for me...I again became that 11 year old girl who watched Live Aid desperately seeking Madonna. I'll be honest, she
disappointed me a little in 1985 but not in 2005. She was brilliant. She played the number ones, had the dancers and the choir and looked every bit as great as she did 20 years ago...you can tell I'm a big fan eh?The Killers were next and I was disappointed on 2 fronts. I like them a lot but we only got one song and they played the wrong one!! Joss Stone followed them and again I felt the need to pee!
The Scissor Sisters did a great set, not as wacky as normal bu
t stillfantastic. Velvet Revolver came next and may have died a little as the Brits weren't sure of who they were. Sting came next and performed a few Police tracks looking better than he did when he forst sang them! Mariah Carey then took to the stage surrounded by the African Childrens Choir who were adorable...I can't stand Mariah Carey but I'd had a few glasses of wine by now and made it through her set spurned on by what was coming next!!
My dream sandwich appeared before me next...David Beckham arrived on stage to introduce Robbie Williams and as they hugged on stage all I could think was let me in the middle!! Anyway Robbie hand the crowd eating out of his hand in minutes, he did a set of four songs, got the crowd dancing & singing and was the only artist to go down and meet the crowd. He finished his set with Angels and the crowd were well pleased and sang along in full voice. Obviously when it comes to Robbie I am 31 going on 11!!!
Peter Kay appeared next and got the crowd singing amarillo and marching on the spot he should have had a band and Tony Christie and cracked on proper!
The long awaited return's of The Who and Pink Floyd followed and although they were all of Grandad age they showed they could still cut it with the young team and the corwd sang along and enjoyed a wee bit of history.
Paul McCartney came on to finish things off...the man may be an institution but everytime he appears on stage it's the same songs again and again. Get Back and Baby You Can Drive My Car are constants for him. Does he not realise he was part of the biggest pop group ever? There are millions who love The Beatles but the majority would love just for once to hear early Beatles numbers...it's guaranteed to get the crowd singing and dancing and eating out his hand and let's face it he's got a shit load of songs to choose from!! The night could have ended a bit better had they stuck to the original plan of singing John Lennons Imagine instead of the Na Na's from Hey Jude..but all in all it was a big sucess and a great line up.
Jenny xx
Making Poverty History...
So I sat there in front of my tv for the best part of 11 hours yesterday...I haven't done that since July 13th 1985 when I was a mere 11 year old desperate to see Madonna on stage in Philidelphia. Knowing that something good was happening to save starving Africans, feeling saddened by images of boys and girls my own age dying and donating my pocket money to the cause, buying the t-shirts etc. That if course was Live Aid.
This time around for Live 8 I am a 31 year old mother of two and Bob Geldof didn't want our money, he wanted our names. The purpose this time around was to make the G8 leaders aware that we - the humble public and the people who elect the leaders - were not happy with the unfair poverty in the world and wanted something done. At the end of the day though, 20 years down the line from being that little girl waiting to see Madonna, people are still starving to death needlessly every day. I truly hope I am not sitting writing about this again as a 51 year old.
Some people are cynical about how effective things like Live Aid and Live 8 are. They grumble about mega rich superstars telling us to help the poor and needy. Yes Bill Gates probably does have enough money in his account to save a small country single handedly but we need to remember that people like him, David Beckham, Brad Pitt and the other's who introduced acts yesterday and made speeches are popular icons for todays society and as such have a hugely influential effect on the fans who adore them. Same goes for the hundreds of acts who gave their time to entertain us all. They are all people with influence over sections of society and yesterdays line up's in the concerts around the world ensured that whatever your musical taste's their would have been someone you liked showing their support.
Maybe it's because I'm older, maybe it's because I'm a Mum, whatever the reason I cried when I saw the images from the third world countries and I felt a sadness and an ache for strangers that is normally reserved for your close family.
So following yesterday's events, we take it now to Edinburgh on Wednesday for the final push on the long walk to justice and we hope they listen and we hope they do something...and if they don't listen then the richest nations in the world cannot be democracies but dictatorships and the blame for third world poverty cannot lie with anyone else but 8 men. 8 men who would go down in history as the one's who wouldn't make a difference...when all the world wanted to.
Jenny xx
This time around for Live 8 I am a 31 year old mother of two and Bob Geldof didn't want our money, he wanted our names. The purpose this time around was to make the G8 leaders aware that we - the humble public and the people who elect the leaders - were not happy with the unfair poverty in the world and wanted something done. At the end of the day though, 20 years down the line from being that little girl waiting to see Madonna, people are still starving to death needlessly every day. I truly hope I am not sitting writing about this again as a 51 year old.
Some people are cynical about how effective things like Live Aid and Live 8 are. They grumble about mega rich superstars telling us to help the poor and needy. Yes Bill Gates probably does have enough money in his account to save a small country single handedly but we need to remember that people like him, David Beckham, Brad Pitt and the other's who introduced acts yesterday and made speeches are popular icons for todays society and as such have a hugely influential effect on the fans who adore them. Same goes for the hundreds of acts who gave their time to entertain us all. They are all people with influence over sections of society and yesterdays line up's in the concerts around the world ensured that whatever your musical taste's their would have been someone you liked showing their support.
Maybe it's because I'm older, maybe it's because I'm a Mum, whatever the reason I cried when I saw the images from the third world countries and I felt a sadness and an ache for strangers that is normally reserved for your close family.
So following yesterday's events, we take it now to Edinburgh on Wednesday for the final push on the long walk to justice and we hope they listen and we hope they do something...and if they don't listen then the richest nations in the world cannot be democracies but dictatorships and the blame for third world poverty cannot lie with anyone else but 8 men. 8 men who would go down in history as the one's who wouldn't make a difference...when all the world wanted to.
Jenny xx
Saturday, July 02, 2005
Fan-Bloody-Tastic...
I will of course write about the whole live 8 thing in more detail but...
Arise Sir Robbie Williams, talk about working a crowd!
The man's music may not be everyone's taste (sad losers that you are!!) but no-one can deny he is without doubt one of the finest showmen we have in this country! Talented, entertainig and sex on a stick...I think I've wet my pants so I best be off...anyhow Pink Floyd are on in a bit...
Robbie Williams...Fan-bloody-tastic.
Jenny xx
Arise Sir Robbie Williams, talk about working a crowd!
The man's music may not be everyone's taste (sad losers that you are!!) but no-one can deny he is without doubt one of the finest showmen we have in this country! Talented, entertainig and sex on a stick...I think I've wet my pants so I best be off...anyhow Pink Floyd are on in a bit...
Robbie Williams...Fan-bloody-tastic.
Jenny xx
Friday, July 01, 2005
Curiously Enough...
I have just randomly flicked through a few other Blogs and after going along clicking "next blog" for a few minutes finding nothing of intrest the following words appear on screen..
And I'm sure the view from heaven
Beats the hell out of ours down here
And if we believe your in heaven
We might just make it through the year
If we still feel your fire, when it's cold within our heart
Our feelings will awaken and our thoughts will start
And we think of our last time with you
And realise we need one more day
One last chance to tell you we need you
And wish you had not gone that day
For someone who has lost a few relly's in the last year it's a wee bit strange that this should appear.
I'd like to credit the author of the blog but there was no heading bar, no other writing on the page...just a white background and a dancing cow icon! Maybe these are words from a song I don't know, maybe someone else's thoughts...who knows?
Whatever the origin it's lovely.
Jenny xx
And I'm sure the view from heaven
Beats the hell out of ours down here
And if we believe your in heaven
We might just make it through the year
If we still feel your fire, when it's cold within our heart
Our feelings will awaken and our thoughts will start
And we think of our last time with you
And realise we need one more day
One last chance to tell you we need you
And wish you had not gone that day
For someone who has lost a few relly's in the last year it's a wee bit strange that this should appear.
I'd like to credit the author of the blog but there was no heading bar, no other writing on the page...just a white background and a dancing cow icon! Maybe these are words from a song I don't know, maybe someone else's thoughts...who knows?
Whatever the origin it's lovely.
Jenny xx
July...Freaky Month Of Misfortune....
So today is the first of July 2006. Grab your duvet and some neccessary supplies and lock yourselves indoors till it ends. I'm not being dramatic...really this is for your own good. July is the month of misfortune I tell you. You may not believe me but I have proof!!
Last year my family were going about their lives as normal (I'll rephrase that...normal for us!) when all of a sudden along came July and BANG everything changed and life would never be the same again. Let me outline what happened in July 2005...
4th July - Gran (Dad's Mum) died unexpectedly.
9th July - Mum and Dad moved into their new house. Which was the cause of serious stress to all involved due to numerous problems on the day. Sadly I wasn't there to help out, neither was my Dad or Sister as we were at Gran's funeral the same day!
19th July - My Dad died. He literally sat on his bed and dropped down dead. Apparently it was respiratory failure combined with an asthmatic attack. Whatever, it was a shit reason for someone to have to die. Was it expected? Abso-bloody-lutley not! To say we were shocked is quite frankly the biggest understatement ever! That same day I had to travel to Glasgow despite not wanting to leave my family and tell my Grandad that his only child was dead. Not the most pleasant job I ever had to do and I thank god I will never have to do it again.
24th July - Dad's Funeral. I can honestly say this was the worst day of my life so far. Worse than the day he died even. Funeral's make things kind of final. I have never used so much energy in my life trying to hold myself together in front of all those people. By night time I felt like I'd run a marathon and despite drinking copious amounts of vodka and wanting to get pissed I remained totally sober...what's that all about?
26th July - 3 year old became 4 year old and a family struggled to get through the day smiling and blowing up balloons to try and make his birthday as happy as we could. We did not too bad given it was the first time Granny had had to sign a card with only her name on it.
30th July - Grandpa (Dad's Dad) died. Again it was totally out of the blue and unexpected but by the time it came for him to go we were all numb anyhow!
So there you have it, the proof. Just in case this isn't enough for you...
Mum rings me at 9am this morning and tells me in her wisdom "Well it's July again...we just need to get through this month and we'll be fine, last years was bloody awful, that was when it all kicked off" She's got a point. Obviously there will be many memories this month but you do get the sense that if we get through July without any fresh drama...Yeah right!
A few minutes later I find out one of our closest family friends is very ill and may need heart bypass surgery.
4 hours after Mum's words this morning she leaves my house after a visit and crashes her car. On the main road. Not a little bump but a nice big one. The car is in bad shape. Mum I'm relieved to say is fine, shocked and shaky but fine! Phew!
Christ it's only the first day of July!!!!!
So now I'm thinking...no-one in my family is allowed out for the next 30 days, what next? and would the bookies give odds on us getting through the rest of July without any more problems...I doubt it!
So be warned, July is the month of misfortune.
I hope you all have a fantastic July. I hope you come through the month of misfortune without a scratch.
Jenny xx
Last year my family were going about their lives as normal (I'll rephrase that...normal for us!) when all of a sudden along came July and BANG everything changed and life would never be the same again. Let me outline what happened in July 2005...
4th July - Gran (Dad's Mum) died unexpectedly.
9th July - Mum and Dad moved into their new house. Which was the cause of serious stress to all involved due to numerous problems on the day. Sadly I wasn't there to help out, neither was my Dad or Sister as we were at Gran's funeral the same day!
19th July - My Dad died. He literally sat on his bed and dropped down dead. Apparently it was respiratory failure combined with an asthmatic attack. Whatever, it was a shit reason for someone to have to die. Was it expected? Abso-bloody-lutley not! To say we were shocked is quite frankly the biggest understatement ever! That same day I had to travel to Glasgow despite not wanting to leave my family and tell my Grandad that his only child was dead. Not the most pleasant job I ever had to do and I thank god I will never have to do it again.
24th July - Dad's Funeral. I can honestly say this was the worst day of my life so far. Worse than the day he died even. Funeral's make things kind of final. I have never used so much energy in my life trying to hold myself together in front of all those people. By night time I felt like I'd run a marathon and despite drinking copious amounts of vodka and wanting to get pissed I remained totally sober...what's that all about?
26th July - 3 year old became 4 year old and a family struggled to get through the day smiling and blowing up balloons to try and make his birthday as happy as we could. We did not too bad given it was the first time Granny had had to sign a card with only her name on it.
30th July - Grandpa (Dad's Dad) died. Again it was totally out of the blue and unexpected but by the time it came for him to go we were all numb anyhow!
So there you have it, the proof. Just in case this isn't enough for you...
Mum rings me at 9am this morning and tells me in her wisdom "Well it's July again...we just need to get through this month and we'll be fine, last years was bloody awful, that was when it all kicked off" She's got a point. Obviously there will be many memories this month but you do get the sense that if we get through July without any fresh drama...Yeah right!
A few minutes later I find out one of our closest family friends is very ill and may need heart bypass surgery.
4 hours after Mum's words this morning she leaves my house after a visit and crashes her car. On the main road. Not a little bump but a nice big one. The car is in bad shape. Mum I'm relieved to say is fine, shocked and shaky but fine! Phew!
Christ it's only the first day of July!!!!!
So now I'm thinking...no-one in my family is allowed out for the next 30 days, what next? and would the bookies give odds on us getting through the rest of July without any more problems...I doubt it!
So be warned, July is the month of misfortune.
I hope you all have a fantastic July. I hope you come through the month of misfortune without a scratch.
Jenny xx
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
